The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

I sleep on and off, waking every few hours either from
a terrible nightmare or with the vomit already in my mouth. Every time I wake William is there, his hands soothingly resting somewhere on me, his soothing voice whispering to me in the dimly lit room. Around 3am I wake up from a nightmare and my pyjamas are soaked, my shirt sticking to me as I sweat so much even the sheets are damp. When William feels how scalding hot my skin is he helps me out of bed and into the bathroom, starting a cool shower and stepping in with me, sitting on the floor with me in his lap, letting the cool water wash over my skin, helping me cool down. I feel myself slip in and out of unconsciousness as we sit on the shower floor and the next time I open my eyes Mikey is kneeling outside the shower looking very worried and my shirt has been taken off. "Ruby" I mumble out in my feverish state and Mikey reaches out and grabs my hand. "Ruby's fine Gee, she's asleep." I try to nod but I don't think it quite works and I focus on breathing, feeling my stomach churn. I try to move out of Williams lap but its too late and I turn my head to the side and vomit violently beside his leg. "Oh Gee" William sighs out and I feel tears prick my eyes as I choke out "Sorry." "No no it's ok, fuck Gee please be ok" he pleads, pulling me closer to his chest. I start to shiver under the cold water and Mikey stands up and turns it off. He helps us out of the shower and he and William strip off my soaking pyjama pants, drying me off before wrapping me in a dry towel. "Stay here" Mikey tells us and he leaves the room, coming back with dry clothes for both of us. He leaves the room again and William helps me dress before sitting me on the closed toilet and removing his own wet clothes, drying and redressing himself. After he helps me from the bathroom we go into the other spare room and climb into the clean bed, an empty bucket beside the bed. I curl up as much as the pain will allow and shiver uncontrollably so William pulls me into his chest, pulling the blankets tighter around me and I feel myself
warm up quickly. I relax and feel myself drift to sleep again.

When I wake up again the light is blinding and I squint and move my hand up to shield my eyes and I feel something tug at the back of my hand. I look and a needle is stuck in my hand, taped down and I start to freak out. "Gee its ok" Mikey's voice tells me and I snap my head over to look at him. "You're in the hospital Gee. We couldn't wake you up again. You've been unconscious for almost a whole day now. You have a massive infection from your injuries, you could have died Gee. Fuck, why didn't you see a doctor?" I stare at him not knowing what to say. "Ruby?" Is the only thing I can think to say and he shakes his head before saying "She's gone to the cafeteria with William. Look Gee I know this is gonna be hard but, I called Frank." I glare at him and open my mouth to give him a piece of my mind but he cuts me off and says "I had to Gee. Ruby needs her parents and we didn't know if you were going to be ok. I know you don't want to see him and I sure as hell don't want to, id rather be sending him to jail but I wouldn't do that to Ruby." I sigh, defeated, knowing he's right. "Is he here?" I spit out and Mikey shakes his head and says "No he should be in about an hour." I nod and close my eyes, wishing I could have remained unconscious forever. William and Ruby come back into the room after a while and I open my eyes again. "Daddy" Ruby says in a shaky voice and I hold my arms out, William putting her on the bed and she climbs onto my chest, wrapping her arms around me. I kiss the top of her head and say "I'm sorry Rubes. Daddy's ok I promise." I hold her close and she snuggles into my chest until her breathing evens out and she falls asleep. I gently rub her back, letting her nap on me and William and Mikey take a seat either side of the bed, making small talk with me in whispered voices. William reaches out and grabs my hand, linking our fingers together and I squeeze to show him my appreciation for being here. The conversation lapses into silence and just as my eyes drift shut, my body exhausted, I hear the door creak open and I open my eyes again, seeing Frank standing there.

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