The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

Once Mikey and William have helped me inside I am sat on the couch and they both go outside to get Ruby. When they come back in she is awake and rubbing her eyes looking around for me. "Daddy" she chirps, holding her arms out to me and leaning out of Mikey's arms. I reach out and take her, cuddling her to my chest and gritting my teeth against the pain of moving. Mikey sees the extreme discomfort on my face and
he says "Hey Ruby you hungry?" She nods her head and he holds his hand out. She climbs off my lap and toddles along behind him, clutching his hand as they leave the room. My bottom lip quivers and William rushes over and sits beside me, his arm wrapping around me as the first tear falls. I sob into his neck, clinging to him like I'll die without him. When I finally calm myself down again I pull back and wipe my eyes. "Sorry" I choke out and William says "What could you possibly be sorry for?" "Dragging you into all this." He shakes his head and leans in to peck my forehead. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to. You mean a lot to me Gee and I want you to be safe." I smile a little and lean back into him, feeling safe in his arms.

That night Ruby asks if she can sleep with Mikey and he smiles and says "Sure cutie pie." They head off to bed after I kiss her goodnight and after another half hour William and I climb the stairs and he helps me into one of the spare rooms. Once I'm settled in bed he turns to leave to his own room and I grab his wrist. "Please don't leave me alone" I plead and he turns back and shushes me, reaching down to gently stroke my cheek. "I'm here it's ok" he whispers before walking around the bed and climbing ontop of the blankets. "Is this ok?" He asks and I tug at the blanket until he gets the hint and gets under too. We lay side by side and I reach out and find his hand with mine, linking our fingers together. He squeezes reassuringly and I feel the knot of pure fear dissolving in my chest. I close my eyes and just as I start to drift to sleep I roll onto my side away from William and I feel his body slide up behind mine, a warm comforting solid weight behind me and his hand softly rubs up and down my side. "I'll never let him hurt you again" he whispers and I sigh in contentment and fall asleep.

When I wake up William is awake and laying beside me, watching me sleep. "Morning" I croak out and William smiles and says "Morning babe." "How long have you been awake?" I ask and he smiles wider and says "A while, I didn't want you to wake up alone." I smile back briefly before I let out a yawn. "I'm still so tired" I tell him and he frowns in concern and says "Maybe you should go back to sleep." I shake my head "Nah, Ruby will need me. I better get up." I slowly drag myself out of bed and William walks me downstairs to find Ruby at the kitchen table talking to her fish while Mikey makes breakfast. "William has pretty hair and he's very funny. I think he should be our friend" Ruby tells the fish and I look over at William and he smiles wide. "Hey Rubes" I say and she jumps before looking over at us and smiling. "Hi daddy" she says back and I say "How are the fishies today?" "Good. We feeded them and they were fighting" she tells me, getting very animated about it. "Oh well that's not very good is it?" I say and she shakes her head and Mikey says "It's ok though cause Rubes told them what's what didn't you cutie." She nods her head and William chuckles at the thought of Ruby scolding the fish and helps me sit in the chair beside Ruby. After breakfast William takes Ruby outside to play in the yard and Mikey sits beside me. "So William told me what Frank did to you." I look over and remain silent so Mikey sighs and says "Gee what the fuck happened? Did he touch Ruby?" My face pales at the thought and I shake my head. "No he said he was teaching me a lesson for upsetting him." Mikey shakes his head and says "He's so fucking lucky I don't drive down there." "Please don't Mikes" I plead and he nods. "Do you want to see a doctor?" He asks and I shake my head. "No doctors" I tell him and he sighs and nods. That afternoon I start to feel really hot and like my skin is crawling but I write it off as my mind processing what happened but by dinner time I run from the table and empty the contents of my stomach into the sink, knowing I wouldn't have made it to the bathroom in time. William comes rushing over and rubs my back, pulling my hair back from my face and when I'm done he rinses the sink out and gets me a glass of water. I sit back at the table and Ruby says "Uh oh daddy sick." I smile weakly at her and I say "Daddy will be alright baby." She smiles and nods and continues to eat her dinner. I slowly pick at mine, my apatite non existent now. When it comes time for bed Ruby sleeps with Mikey again and William refuses to leave my side, getting me a bucket and a cold wash cloth, sitting the bucket beside the bed and laying the cold cloth over my forehead. I slowly drift off into a fevered dream only to wake an hour later by another wave of nausea.

Notes