The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

I wake up the next morning to an empty bed and when I roll over and look at the clock I freak out, today is a work day for Frank and he should have started already so who's watching Ruby? I jump out of bed and run into her bedroom to see her and Frank on the floor, building a castle with her building blocks. Frank turns to look at me and his face crumples in concern. "What are you doing home?" I ask right as he opens his mouth and says "How are you feeling baby?" Frank smiles and says "I took the day off because you weren't feeling well and I thought maybe you needed a break." I smile weakly at him and turn around, leaving the room and going back to bed. I lay down and pull the covers over my head, letting myself cry a few more silent tears as I think of how they wouldn't even care if I wasn't here, only Frank would have no one to watch Ruby, until I fall asleep again.

The next time I wake up it is late afternoon, the sun setting and casting long shadows through the cracks in the blinds. I sit up and rub my eyes, my head aching and I stumble out of bed toward the kitchen, desperate for some pain killers. After I take some I wander through the apartment but it's silent and I am alone. They left and didn't even leave me a note. I feel my chest tighten as a new wave of despair washes over me. I walk back towards the bedroom when I hear the front door open and a little giggle and a deep laugh fill the apartment. "Hey sleepyhead" Frank greets me, putting Ruby down and walking over, kissing me gently on the lips. "Hey" I croak out when we pull apart. "You feeling any better?" He asks as he cups my face in his hands again, feeling for a fever. I nod so he doesn't worry and Ruby comes toddling over and holds her hands up to me. I pick her up and she wraps her arms around my neck and says "Don't be sick Geegee." I smile weakly at her before putting her down and I start to feel a little better but what happens next feels like it shatters everything inside me. Ruby walks back over to Frank, holding her arms out and when he picks her up she says "Daddy I'm hungwy." I freeze, pain surging through my whole body before I turn and run from the room, running to the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind me, barely making it to the toilet before I drop to my knees and throw up violently. I empty my stomach into the toilet before I slump back against the wall and sob my eyes out. I'm just Geegee and Frank is daddy, I'm not even needed in this family anymore.

After I manage to drag myself off the bathroom floor I wash my face before leaving the bathroom and stumble towards the bedroom. "Gee baby" I hear Frank call out so I turn and walk into the living room, finding him and Ruby cuddled up on the couch watching cartoons. Frank smiles up at me and pats the couch next to him so I walk over and slowly sit down, keeping space between us. Frank looks at me and shakes his head, reaching out and pulling me closer so I'm slumped over into his side and he wraps one arm around me, leaning down and pecking my forehead. "Are you alright baby?" He asks and I nod, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. "Geegee look" Ruby's little voice rings out in the quiet room and I open my eyes and look to see a new doll Frank must have bought for her. "Very nice" I say trying to keep up a brave face but inside I'm dying, I'm not special to her at all. Franks arm tightens around me until a few minutes later when Ruby wants to play with her blocks again and Franks arm leaves my body so he can get up and go with her, leaving me all alone in the living room. I sigh in defeat, atleast they like each other, and get up, dragging myself back into bed pulling the covers over my head.

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