The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

The next morning I wake up face to face with Frank. I flinch and slide back, desperate to escape another beating but his eyes slowly flutter open and right before I fall off the edge of the bed he grabs my wrist and croaks out "Shhh hey it's alright" and I realise for the first time that I'm whimpering. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you just last night you were screaming so I tried to calm you down." I just stare at him waiting for some form of violence but he gently tugs on my wrist, pulling me back across the bed to him where he wraps his arms around me tight and despite the fear gripping my body he's warm and I melt into it. A small shiver wracks my body and Frank lifts one hand to gently rest on my cheek and says "Fuck you're so cold" before pulling the blanket tighter around me and pulling me closer to him. We are laying side by side, our noses almost touching, his arms wrapped around me and I can't recall the last time we were like this. I sniffle a little, trying to hold in tears I don't want to cry and Frank frowns before saying "Are you alright?" I don't answer, just shrug my shoulders and he nods in understanding. We lay in silence for a while, just staring into each others eyes, him not knowing what to say and me too terrified to speak before his gaze leaves mine and his eyes take in my whole face. His hand comes up again and his fingertips gently trace over my face before he softly says "I'm sorry." I take a deep breath but don't say anything and he looks like he's about to cry. "Baby I know I should never have hit you like I did and I really am sorry. And I'm sorry you slept outside in the cold for days with no food and I'm sorry I spent that time fucking someone else and not caring where you were or if you were ok. You're my husband and I should never have done those things to you no matter what you did and no matter how much you hurt me I love you and I always will." My eyes widen a little as his gaze meets mine again and he pours his heart out. We stare into
each others eyes for a long moment before he leans in and presses his lips to mine. I remain still until he pulls away, unsure of what I'm meant to do and when he pulls back he looks hurt as he says "Do you still love me?" I slowly nod my head a little, unable to deny it. His face breaks into a small smile before he leans back in and tries to kiss me again, this time I move my lips slightly. He pulls back and smiles saying "You can do better than that" before leaning back in and kissing me again, pressing harder this time and soon his tongue is swiping my bottom lip and I open my mouth slightly, feeling his tongue invade my mouth and slide against mine. His arms tighten their grip around me and I let go, letting my mind shut down and my body take over. I slide my tongue against his and he hums into my mouth as we kiss. We pull apart for air but Frank just moves his mouth from mine and presses soft kisses all over my face while I regain my breath before trailing back down and pressing our mouths together again. He doesn't try to push it any further than kissing and I am grateful for that. I pull back and break the kiss, my lungs burning with lack of oxygen and I pant for breath. Frank looks concerned and I roll onto my back, staring at the roof while I catch my breath before rolling onto my other side and yawning loudly. Frank slides up behind me and presses his body to mine and I feel instantly warm as I drift back to sleep in his arms.

Its mid afternoon when I wake up again and Frank is no longer in bed beside me but I can hear him in the apartment. My whole chest feels heavy and I find it really hard to breath and I feel freezing cold again despite being wrapped tight in a million blankets. A shiver shakes my whole body as Frank comes back into the room and says "Oh baby, are you alright?" I shake my head and he frowns before saying "Come on, I got you a doctors appointment. I'll help you in the shower and then we'll go ok." I slowly nod, not game to disagree with him and let him pick me up out of bed and carry me to the bathroom where he helps me strip off and puts me in the shower. The hot water feels amazing on my skin but before long a cough wracks my body so hard I can't breathe and it feels like my lungs are rattling out of place in my chest, I go light headed and my legs shake. Frank mutters out "Oh shit" and I feel my legs buckle beneath me but he jumps in at the last second, fully clothed and catches me before I fall, he gently eases me down to sit under the hot water in his lap and he holds me, gently washing me before reaching up and turning the water off, helping me out and drying me off before wrapping me in another dry clean towel and sitting me on the closed toilet. He takes a step away and quickly strips himself naked, removing all his soaking wet clothes before drying himself off and scooping me into his arms, carrying me back to the bedroom. Once we're dressed I feel light headed and he takes me to the kitchen, offering me a bowl of chicken soup which I eat about half with a shaky hand before pushing it away. Frank sits beside me and cups my face in his hands and says "We need to get going now, the doctor can see you in about twenty minutes." I nod and we pull on jackets, leaving the apartment and slowly walking towards the doctors office. Once we get in to see him the doctor runs some tests and listens to my breathing before ordering an xray and concluding that I have pneumonia. I shiver as chills wrack my body again and Frank slides closer and wraps his arms around me, me resting my head on his shoulder feeling exhausted. The doctor prescribes me some antibiotics and makes a second appointment for four days later and as we go to leave he asks Frank to leave the room so he can speak to me privately. Frank looks concerned but leaves the room and when the door closes the doctor says "Mr Way what happened to your face and chest?" I freeze in fear, knowing that if I tell the truth the police will be contacted and Frank will be taken away. I stammer out "I got jumped by some kids in the park." The doctor nods and says "I'm very sorry to hear that. You didn't speak much during the appointment, is there anything else you need me to look at?" I shake my head and he smiles softly and says "You're fine to go then. I'll see you in four days, feel better soon." I force a small smile to my face, the first smile in what seems like forever. As soon as I leave the office it drops from my face and I walk to Frank in the waiting room, handing him the prescription. After we get the antibiotics we go home and Frank puts me back to bed, giving me a dose of medicine and tucking me in, telling me to get some sleep. I nod and roll onto my side, shivering and shaking as I desperately try to get warm and I feel Frank slide up behind me and wrap his arms around me, trying to help but I still shiver and shake. After a few minutes he sighs and says "Ok I know you'll hate this but I seriously can't see you suffer any longer" and he pulls the blankets back and removes my shirt and I shiver more before, he removes my pants and I am too tired to fight it, letting him do whatever he wants. He strips his own clothes off, leaving us in just our boxers before he climbs in and cuddles up behind me, his bare chest pressed to my bare back as he pulls the blankets up and I instantly feel warmer. After a few minutes the shivers stop and I feel myself drifting off to sleep. A nasty cough wracks my body and when I regain my breath I roll over, burying my face in his neck and sliding even closer to his warmth before I pass out again.

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