The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

After a week of countless testing and observation I am allowed to finally go home with Frank. I am not allowed to go back to work for another three weeks and I know I'm going to go out of my mind with boredom. I am also not allowed to do anything too strenuous which means no sex. Upon hearing this Frank and I share a look of horror and as soon as the doctor leaves the room I pout and say "But Frankie I'm fine, honest." Frank laughs and says "Baby as much as I wanna jump on you and fuck your brains out right now I'm not risking it until the doctor says it's ok. Remember what happened last time?" I sigh and pout even more as I cross my arms over my chest like a sulky child and say "Fine. You just don't love me or want me anymore, I get it." Frank shake his head and says "Oh my god baby stop it. Of course I love you and want you. I want you so bad all the time, you're not the only one who is gonna suffer, I'd spend all day every day naked in bed with you if I could." I smile a little as I say "Really?" Frank chuckles and leans in to kiss me. "Really" he says before I grab him and pull him back in for another kiss, sliding my tongue into his mouth and groaning at the taste of coffee there, which I also can't have for three weeks. When we finally pull apart Frank and I are both panting and Frank says "Damn it Gee, don't get yourself worked up like that. If something happens to you it will kill me too." I frown as I say "If I'm not going to be allowed to fuck you for three weeks there damn sure better be kissing and lots of it in the mean time. If I can't be intimate with you at all I don't even know what the point in living was." Frank hangs his head and when he looks back up he has tears in his eyes as he says "Gee baby I love you so fucking much, you're my whole world and if I don't have you I don't want life. I can't be intimate with you because I want you around forever and if you get too excited in your weak state you could have another heart attack and you might not survive this one. Please just be patient because this is gonna be so fucking tough for me too and of course I'll kiss you whenever you want but we can't go so far that you're panting for breath at the end, that's putting strain on you and I'm not risking it, not for anything." I hang my head feeling ashamed at my little outburst and Frank leans in and wraps his arms around me. I cling to him as I try to regain my composure and when we pull away I peck his lips before climbing out of the hospital bed and dressing in my clothes to leave.

When we go home Mikey comes to stay for a few days to help keep an eye on me while Frank goes back to work. Mikey and I spend our days watching tv and playing video games and just catching up on each other's lives and at night Frank and I cuddle up in bed and watch movies together. Three nights after I come home Frank, Mikey and I are sitting at the table eating a stirfry that Frank made when I drop my fork and my hand flies to my chest, clutching at the skin desperate to make the sudden pain stop. "Gee baby" Frank says as he gets up so fast his chair falls over and he rounds the table and kneels infront of me. "Gee talk to me, what's going on?" "Hurts" is the only word I can choke out as the pain leaves me breathless and Frank screams at Mikey to call an ambulance. Mikey runs from the table to get his phone and Frank eases me out of the chair to lay on the floor as he holds my hand and strokes my hair telling me "You'll be just fine baby. Just take big deep breaths and focus on me. You need to stay calm baby. I love you, more than I could ever put into words and you are everything to me. My life wouldn't be worth living without you and I will never stop loving you no matter what." I try to focus on his words instead of the increasing pain and tingling in my chest and I gasp out "I love you too baby. You mean more to me than you'll ever comprehend and if I'm not around anymore just remember that. I love you with everything I have." We remain silent after that, just staring into each other's eyes as pain continues to rip through my chest until we hear the front door open and footsteps hurry in our direction.
The paramedics check me out before telling me they don't think it's another heart attack but they need to take me back to the hospital anyway. I slowly get off the floor, the pain easing off and Frank and I follow them outside, getting in the ambulance with them while Mikey stays behind.

After I've seen the doctor and he runs more tests he comes back and tells me I'm fine and it appears to just be a mild anxiety attack and based on my recent heart attack my mind amplified it. I nod and the doctor continues to say "You need to relax Mr Way. You're going to be just fine." I smile and nod before he gives us the all clear to go and we leave the hospital hand in hand, hailing a cab and going home. On the ride back Frank grips my hand in his and says "Are you alright?" I nod my head before leaning over and resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. Frank shakes me awake gently when we get there and I open my eyes and climb out of the cab, Frank taking my hand and leading me to the elevator. Once we're back in the apartment Mikey rushes me, pulling me into his arms as he says "Are you alright?" I hug back and say "Fine Mikes." We pull apart and I notice Frank is gone so I go into the living room with Mikey and settle on the couch to watch tv. After about fifteen minutes Frank comes in and says "Gee baby come with me." I slowly stand up and follow him from the room and into the bathroom where he's run me a huge hot bubble bath and I smile as he says "You need to relax so I thought this would help." I turn my head to kiss him lightly before pulling away and saying "You're getting in too right?" Frank smiles and says "If you want..." "Of course, it's not relaxing unless I'm in your arms" I say, cutting him off. Frank smiles the widest I've ever see before slowly undressing me and then himself and helping me into the tub, slipping in behind me and pulling me to lay back against his chest. I close my eyes and sigh as I sink further into the perfectly hot water, cuddled into my husbands chest, the pain in my own now completely gone.

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