The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

I wake up from a nightmare and the room is pitch black. I scream out, frightened beyond belief that they are there, in the shadows and I shake uncontrollably. I feel something touch my leg and I scream again, almost flipping myself off the bed in an attempt to escape when the light flips on and Frank comes into view. He reaches one hand out for me from where he stands beside the bed but I flinch away and his face drops. "Baby it's me, I'm not gonna hurt you. Just take a deep breath...." "You let them hurt me" I yell at him, cutting him off before a new wave of sobs wrack my body and I curl into a ball, my back to him as I try to protect myself. I hear Frank sigh before the sound of the chair he was sitting on scraping across the floor rings out in the silent room and the light flicks off again. I scream out in terror before it comes back on and I feel like I can breathe again. "Gee" Frank tries again but I whimper and curl up tighter and he doesn't say anything else to me. I lay curled up, whimpering and shaking for what seems like hours before I feel the bed dip behind me and a warm body presses against my back. "Babe it's ok. I won't hurt you" Frank whispers into my ear and I melt back into his touch, desperate to be protected. After another half hour I drift back off to sleep. When I wake up again it's day time and the room is very brightly lit. I sit up and look around and Frank is gone. I feel tears well in my eyes again as the thought that he abandoned me crosses my mind and the voice in my head says "Can you blame him? Who would want you now?" The sound of the door opening startles me from my thoughts and when I look up I see Mikey enter the room. I feel myself crumble at the sight of him and I open my arms to him as I start to sob. "Mikey" I choke out and he runs over and holds me, not saying anything just letting me cry it out. When we pull away he sits on the edge of the bed and lowers me back onto the pillows, holding my hand and waiting for me to talk. "I think Frankie left. I can't blame him though" I start and Mikey shakes his head and says "Gee of course he didn't leave. I brought him some clean clothes and he's taking a shower at the moment. He's been by your side the whole time you've been here and he kinda smelled a little bad." I chuckle and say "I like how he smells." Mikey shakes his head and says "Of course you do, you're weird." I poke my bottom lip out and pout at him and he laughs and says "I stand by what I said." I playfully hit him and my mood is lifted. Mikey and I sit and talk for a few minutes before Frank walks back into the room, hair wet and shirt sticking to him in patches and my breath catches in my throat. "Frankie" I whine out and he crosses the room and pulls me into his arms. "Are you alright babe?" He whispers into my ear and I tilt my head to whisper back "Yeah I just realised how fucking perfect you are and I almost lost the chance to spend the rest of my life with you." Franks hold on me tightens as he says "We'll be together forever I promise." I smile into his neck before we pull away and we kiss. The kiss drags on and we work our tongues into it and Mikey makes gagging noises and says "Well that's my limit. I gotta go but I'll be back soon." I pull away from Frank and look at Mikey and we say our goodbyes before he leaves and Frank goes to the cafeteria to get us some food and coffee.

A week later I am discharged from the hospital and I am given some antibiotics to take for another week incase of infection and told to not have sex for another three weeks. When the doctors tells me this I scoff because like I would ever want anything up there ever again. Frank and I stay at Mikey's for one day before we go back to New York. In the time I was in hospital Mikey reorganised my stuff to be moved and he even came and set the new place up one day with his girlfriend. Our first night home I climb into bed exhausted from the drive and Frank climbs in and cuddles me. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of being held and after a while Frank must think I'm asleep because he lets me go and I hear him rustling around in bed before the bed shakes slightly with his movements. I crack open one eye and see he is touching himself, tiny little choked off whimpers escaping his mouth that I wouldn't even hear if I was asleep like he clearly thinks I am. I glance up at his face and his eyes are closed, head thrown back in pleasure and as I watch his hand work his dick a sickening realisation hits. For the first time in our relationship I'm not sexually attracted to nor do I have any desire to be intimate with Frank.

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