S-I-N, I, S-I-N

I turned around and looked at Gerard shocked that he'd just said that. It's perfectly fine for me to play the hero and admit I'm pregnant but it's not okay for him to say he's the father, especially since he can go to jail. My heart felt like it was going a million miles an hour and I couldn't tell Gerard to take it back or say something else because the room had gone dead silent and everyone would be undoubtedly be able to hear me.

I thought I was panicking when I read the test and found out I was pregnant but this is even worse, I seriously feel like I'm going to have a heart attack or throw up, this is not good for the baby and not good for Gerard because I can't believe he said that.

"Pardon?" Archer blinked a couple of times, not processing what she was hearing, like everyone else who had more than likely gone into shock from hearing the words, 'it's me, I'm the dad' from the goodie-goodie, priests lips.

Gerard didn't immediately reply and I got the feeling he was just as surprised by what he said as everyone else was. Iris had frozen to the point of looking like she was a statue and Luka was giving him a wide-eyed stare that very clearly said 'are you nuts, what the fuck is wrong with you' which I couldn't disagree with even if I wanted to.

"I said-" Luka walked over and put a hand on Gerard's shoulder, silencing him before he said anything else and got both of us in deep, deep shit.

"Father Way," he started in a tired voice, "you shouldn't cover for me. Lainey and I made a mistake and we shouldn't lie about it. Honesty is the best policy as they say, thank you though." Gerard and I were both confused by what he was saying at first but slowly I came to the realisation that Luka was taking the bullet and covering for us.

Luka moved away from Gerard and came closer to me before putting an arm around my waist, "Lainey and I have been going out in secret since we started working on the play together. We didn't want anyone to know because her parents sent her here to get everything in order and she was worried they wouldn't approve of her having a boyfriend." I nodded, not knowing what to do and still trying to come out of the daze I'd entered when I thought Gerard had outed himself in front of at least half the school.

"Lainey, is this true?" Miss Archer asked, looking it me and I nodded for a second time, not sure what I was supposed to say so I just stock to minor head movements since they seemed like the safest bet.

"Everyone, either return to your afternoon tasks or go to your rooms. If I hear any whispering about this I will make sure the gossip is sufficiently punished." Miss Coping who had apparently been in the room the whole time said, standing directly at the foot of the stairs and taking complete control of the situation before everything got out of hand.

Wanting to escape from the trouble Luka and I immediately started walking up the stairs, along with Iris and Gerard who had a confused expression and didn't seem to know what to do. He'd basically jumped off a cliff and had someone grab him and drag him back to the ground before jumping off themselves.

"Luka and Lainey, not you. You two are coming to my office immediately." I stopped walking and looked at Gerard, mouthing to him 'explain everything' and discretely pointing at Iris, she should know that Luka had seriously thrown himself on a grenade.

Doing as asked we followed Miss Coping across the grounds, leaving the dorm behind and struggling to keep up with her brisk pace. I almost felt sorry for the headmistress, as far as she knew her teenage nephew had gotten a teenage student of her own school pregnant, it would be horrible from her end of things.

"Luka, how could you? And Lainey, I thought you were such a sweetheart, how could you subject yourself to something like this?" Miss Coping said so quietly it didn't even seem like she was talking to us and it was obvious she was still trying to come to terms with the surprise and I had my own little shock bubble I was dealing with.

Nothing else was said until we reached the headmistresses large and well decorated office that I haven't been in before and she gestured for Luka and me to sit down on the large plushy couch that did an excellent job of taking up half the length of the room with no effort.

"As the two of you imagine what you have done is something that is to be taken deadly serious in both this school and in your own lives. Teen pregnancy is no laughing matter and not something I can say I'm all too pleased with either. From the moment you two began spending time together I suspected something but a prospective baby is most definitely not one of them." Instead of sitting down behind her office desk Miss Coping pulled an armchair over and sat directly in front of Luka and me.

"I'd like to say I'm ashamed of this but I can't. The creation of a human being is a beautiful thing even if marriage isn't involved but it is still something that can't be accepted at this school. Rosehill is world renowned for its academics and morals, if it were to get out that one of our underage students had conceived while attending and undoubtedly on the school grounds, well I think you could imagine the media storm the news would create." Although being serious Miss Coping was speaking gently it wasn't hard to see the battle playing out as clear as day on her face, the loyal aunt who thinks her nephew's going to be a teenager father and the responsible headmistress of an elite girls boarding school.

"What I'm trying to say is, Lainey, you'll need to leave the school. You are an exceptional student and somehow despite spending nearly your entire class time talking to Iris all of your grades are either A's or A pluses. At an American school if you kept your streak up you would have no problem being a valedictorian. You have an incredibly bright future ahead of you regardless of whether or not you want to keep the baby but unfortunately the newspapers will only hear that a student of Rosehill got pregnant while attending." I was well aware that if papers were to find out that I had a baby they'd just consider me to be an idiot who'd ruined a good schools reputation, I expected nothing less of society.

"But I see no reason for you to need to leave immediately. There's no rules on sexual activities here and I know it's reasonable to assume that Luka didn't harass you. You've technically done nothing wrong so I can't force you to leave nor do I want you to leave, that's why I'm proposing you stay until the end of this term and if you wish you can stay for the one after that but then you will have to leave. Either return to America or attend another school in the United Kingdom, it's your choice, and your parents of course." And this is the part where I realise I'm now going to be forced to call my parents and tell them that I'm pregnant, this is going to be a peaceful walk through the park.

"Luka, since you're an attendant of another school I will have to report this to your headmaster and I expect you to call your parents and tell them about this the moment you have the opportunity," Luka nodded, "Lainey, now that you have a full understanding with how these matters shall be dealt with I would like you to call your parents and explain to them the situation. You can use my phone while I have a private talk to Luka." Miss Coping stood up and gestured to the telephone on her desk before ushering her nephew out of the room, probably planning to now talk to him in aunt mode.

I sighed and glared scornfully at the phone, not wanting to use it or have anything with the people on the other end even if I knew I didn't have an option. Taking a deep breath I stood, dialled the number into the wretched thing and waited, not knowing if my parents were going to answer or not.

I guess it'd be about nine in Chicago, they should be up and if not then I might get luck and they'll be half asleep when I tell them.

"Colfort residence." Mom answered brightly, not realising how her life was about to change.
I think it's important that I should say that by this point I've absolutely had it with explaining that I was pregnant, so far I've explained it to Gerard, Dale, Iris, Luka and the entire school to boot. I didn't even care what Mom's reaction would be, even if I explained it gently she'd be upset so I think I'll stick with short and not so sweet.

"Hi, Mom. It's Lainey calling. Guess who's pregnant." I heard the sound of something smashing in the background and shortly after my Dad picked up the phone.

"Lainey, your Mother's crying. Why?" I kinda almost felt bad for what I was going to say to Dad but then again when I was begging to stay in America and not have them ship me off to a foreign boarding school he did nothing so I actually don't care.

"I'm pregnant and I guess Mom's not happy about it." I shrugged, wishing they could see how little I cared about there opinions but just doing it for myself would have to be enough.

"Who did this?"

"Aha, nice one but the schools already beaten you to that. My," gay, "boyfriend Luka." Damn it was uncomfortable saying that sentence, I really don't want to think of Luka as my boyfriend even if it's only play pretend.

"Lainey, how could you do something like this? Do you have no respect for yourself, for your body, for your family name? What about being a virgin, you save something like that for your husband." Mom cried into the phone and I felt my heart turn to stone, I was insulted, what she said wasn't what everyone else had said, it would have been fair to say I screwed up but to say I didn't have respect for myself then to bring it back around to them? This is bullshit.

"No, I had absolutely no fucking self respect when I fucked someone who was my intellectual and spiritual equal. I also intentionally ruined the family name, I carefully plotted it and then screwed a complete stranger who I'd known inside and out for seven fucking weeks. By the way I'm not a virgin, I lost my virginity a long time ago and who the fuck cares about saving it for a husband? If you marry someone you love then something like that shouldn't matter at all. I wouldn't care if the guy I slept with is a virgin or not, I didn't." I was ranting into the phone and hoped no one else would be able to hear me aside from my parents because things might get a little awkward if I were to walk out to a crowd of people.

My parents obviously weren't expecting anything I said and didn't have any comebacks.

"Anyway, the headmistress wanted me to call you guys and tell you for the sake of the schools reputation I need to leave at either the end of this term or the end of the next one so how long will I be staying here? Do you want your fuck up to come home?" I put my arm over my stomach, knowing that in a couple of months or so I'd start to get a stomach, one that shows I've got a baby in there or am either gaining weight rather strangely.

"You'll be there for one term and when you leave...you'll be going to live with your brother." Dad said and I went still, I had trouble understanding what I'd just heard, my parents...they didn't want me?

"I don't understand."

"Your Mother and I, we've had enough. You've made mistake upon mistake and have no interest in fixing yourself. Your brother behaves the same way and we you to go live with him, he can deal with all your problems. Do whatever you want, you'll be eighteen soon, you can get a job, a house and some man that's willing to marry a teenager with a child. We'll pay for the rest of your time at Rosehill but at the end of the term you'll be on your own." My eyes were filling with tears, I know I went into this conversation like a bitch but I didn't expect my parents to dump me without a second thought, did they even care?

When your kid screws up you keep trying to help them, no matter what. You don't say 'you're on your own, good luck' because that's gonna teach them nothing. I promise I won't be like this with my own child, I'm a better person than my parents so that elevates me to a level that they'll never reach.

"You're abandoning me?" I asked, sitting on the couch with the phone card barely stretching far enough.

"Please don't call again, you'll upset your Mother." That was the last thing I heard my Dad say before he hung up, leaving me sitting there with the phone still pressed to me, listening to the beeping.

'I don't want to be in here anymore', I thought, standing up and walking out of the room, not putting the phone in its cradle, nothing. I want to go to my bed and cry, I know I've never gotten along well with Mom and Dad but they'd just basically said they don't want me anymore and that I'm a giant fuck up.

I wasn't even sure as to what I was doing when I walked out the door and into the cool air. I was so upset and I could feel my tears freezing against my cheeks like tiny icicles, I want to lie down on the ground and curl up in a ball.

Arms wrapped around my shoulders, in the form of giving me a hug and I looked up long enough to notice it was Luka who must have been allowed to go. He saw how upset I was and decided to give me hug apparently, that's nice of him, he doesn't have to do it.

"Come on, lets get you to Father Way." We then began our awkward shuffling towards the church that thankfully wasn't too far away because I was on the verge of breaking down at any second now.

"Is she okay?" Gerard said the second we walked in, he'd been looking through the bible, "what's wrong?" He asked and I closed my eyes, sighing and trying to compose myself enough to talk like a normal person, guys didn't understand crying girls and understood them even less when trying to talk at the same time.

"My parents, I had to tell them and they don't want me contacting them again." Luka let go of me so I could hug Gerard at the exact moment I broke down, sobbing with my shoulders shaking as I clutched his shirt.

"Thanks, you don't have to stick around for this if you don't want to. Actually, you should probably talk with Iris, I explained Lainey and I to her and she's a bit freaked out." Gerard had to speak over my head which must have been difficult since each sob caused me to bump him slightly.

I assumed Luka nodded and left because I heard the closing of the door and silence after that before I was walked down the hall towards Gerard's office, since I didn't want to bawl in a place where people could easily see me that exposed, it'd be embarrassing.

We sat down on the couch and I curled up against him, going against the grain of my typical withdrawn behaviour and just wanting someone to hug which also meant I was being a little more needy than usual and clinging on a bit tighter than I should but I didn't even care, I've lost my ability to care.

"It'll be alright." Gerard murmured, stroking my hair with one arm half wrapped around me as I gripped onto his shirt tighter, making horrible sobbing sounds that wouldn't be attractive from Amy Lee so it was most definitely not okay from me.

"M-my Dad didn't even say bye or I love you, just 'please don't call again, you'll upset your Mother' then he hung up on me. I deserve it, I deserve everything I get. I've been a horrible daughter and I never listened to them when I should have. I'd sneak out of the house and go to parties or a concert. I should have stayed in and been the good girl they wanted me to be." Later realised I didn't regret a single thing and was actually proud of it but I definitely didn't think that at the time, especially thanks to the hormones.

"They said I should live with my brother and I have to leave the school at the end of this term, I have no other option but to move back to America. I thought I would have had time to figure things out but I don't now." I was completely babbling and there was a tiny chance of Gerard understand me but it was highly unlikely when my voice was also muffled in his chest so he probably heard me just crying.

"I've been thinking about that, how you need to find a place. My brother who lives in town, he's looking for a roommate, maybe you could move in with him, he's a really nice guy and I don't think the idea of living in the same house as someone who has a baby would worry him too much." I lifted my head and looked at Gerard while he wiped some tears from my eyes, allowing me to see more clearly.

"Yeah?"

"Mmm-hmm, I reckon it'd be a great place for you to stay. I have to go over to his house in a couple of days to pick up some things for an event, why don't you come with me? I can introduce you to Mikey, Ray and Bob, you'd probably get along." I was already nodding before he'd finished talking, it sounded like an excellent idea and if it's Gerard's brother then it's gotta be safer than sharing a place with a random stranger I know nothing about.

"Okay, I'll go with you." I sat straighter and ran the sleeve of my sweatshirt over my face, getting off any remaining tears so I could return to my less pansyish state and be taken seriously.

"Good," Gerard leaned forward and kissed me on the lips "if you want you can freshen up in the bathroom, splash your face, take a few deep breaths. It helps, I've had to do it a couple of times to calm down." A refreshing spritz of cool water seemed perfect right now and I got up off the couch, before walking towards the door to the side of the room that seemed a little bit like it was a decoration.

"It's the small room just off the kitchen," he said as I opened the door, "oh by the way," I stopped and turned around, giving him a chance to say whatever, "I told you I'd get you into my bed didn't I?"

Saw that coming.

Notes