It's Not Lovin' If It’s Just Fuckin'.

The last week of school flew by, and before Gerard knew what was happening, he was getting ready to go to his first, and last high school party. Frank had said he was going to pick him up at 7, and it was now just ten minutes to. He was nervous and staring into his mirror at the tight black jeans and slightly baggy, faded Smashing Pumpkins hoodie he’d chosen to wear. Was it all too dark? Were his jeans too tight?...Would everyone laugh at him for how he looked?

He sighed...maybe he just shouldn’t go. Frank would probably have just as much fun at the party if he stayed home anyway...more probably. Just then there was a knock on his bedroom door and he looked over to see his dad smiling at him from the doorway.

"Oh, hey dad..."

He said flatly before looking back at the mirror.

"I’m not sure about this party. Maybe I should call Frank and tell him to go without me."

"Nonsense son, you know how the summer can get. You might find a job and take away time from your friends. This will be good for you."

Gerard sighed, looking himself up and down in the mirror again. He couldn’t wait til those pills came and he started loosing weight...he was so sick of being the "fat loser", as the jocks at school never tired of calling him.

"Do you think I look Ok in this?...my jeans aren’t too tight...are they?"

"Gee, you look perfect just the way you are, and you should not change for anyone but yourself..."

Donald kissed the top of his son's head at the same time a horn honked.

"That's your ride."

It was too late to change into sweats now, so Gerard sighed heavily, grabbing his wallet, keys and crappy cellphone.

"Guess you’re right dad. I won’t be late, Ok?"

"And if you are I know you will call."

Donald smiled and waved to his son as he left the room. Gerard took a deep breath, then headed downstairs and out the door. He waved to Frank as he trotted over to the older boy's car and climbed in.

"Hey Frank. So, what do people do at parties anyway?"

He asked with a touch of sarcasm as he fastened his seatbelt.

"Drink, smoke, fuck...you know, the usual..."

Frank wiggled his eyebrows at Gerard and smirked. Gerard felt his cheeks heat up and he turned his head to look out the window. He’d never done any of that before. Frank patted Gerard's thigh lightly, giving it a little squeeze.

"It's okay Gee, you don't have to do any of those things."

Gerard swallowed, looking down at Frank's hand.

"R-really?"

"Of course Gee, and I will beat the shit out of anyone that tries to make you."

Gerard looked up, wide eyed.

"You think someone would try to make me drink or smoke?!"

He didn’t bother to add the fuck part, cause no one would want to do that with him.

"Not while I'm around baby."

One more squeeze and smile and then Frank let go and started the car. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut...Frank hadn’t mentioned the fucking thing, clearly he didn’t believe Gerard would have that problem either.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the address Ray had given Gerard. The house was large and the area was quite expensive...and Gerard worried that he’d end up knocking over a priceless vase or something. He really wasn’t sure this was a good idea.

"Frank?"

He asked nervously as the other boy parked up next to a brand new convertible.

"Yeah babe, what's up?"

Gerard swallowed, looking down.

"Please don’t leave without me, Ok?..."

He barely whispered, twisting his hands in his lap before looking up.

"I mean when you meet someone. You won’t leave me there, right?"

"No, I promise I won't..."

Frank gave Gerard a kiss on the cheek.

"Now let's go and show these fools how to really party!"

Gerard chuckled slightly.

"Well you’d have to show me first but yeah, let’s go...I guess."

Frank winked and giggled then got out of the car.

"Hey guys you made it!"

Ray came out of the house to greet them. Gerard smiled shyly.

"Yeah, hi Ray."

He said, moving to Frank’s side.

"Looks like an awesome party!"

Frank was bouncing a bit now. He was getting into the vibe and the music.

"Yeah, well it is getting a little out of hand now and..."

"HEY FRO DUDE, WHERE DO YOU KEEP THE FIRST AID KIT?"

A loud shout came from one of the windows on the second floor. Ray looked up and freaked out.

"Pete! Why are you in my parent's room?!"

This guy, Pete, was leaning out the window pretty far.

"I WAS LOOKING FOR THE FIRST AID KIT CAUSE I CUT MY WHOOOOA!"

He leaned too far out and lost his balance.

"HOLY SHIT!"

Frank ran to the spot under the window and managed to catch Pete, knocking them both into the bushes. Gerard gasped, rushing forward with Ray right behind him.

"Frank?!...oh my God, are you ok?"

Frank was in the bush on his back with Pete in his lap and Frank clutching his hips tight. If Pete hadn't just fallen out of the window, someone would think something else was happening.

"Yeah, I'm good, this cutie weighs nothing."

"My hero!"

Pete turned around and kissed Frank.

"Pete you crazy asshole, you could have gotten seriously hurt...and Frank too!"

Ray was losing his mind. Gerard already knew where Frank was going to end up tonight...he didn’t need to actually see it. He swallowed, looking away...he knew he shouldn’t have come.

"I'm fine Ray really. You however should get checked out up here..."

Frank pointed to Pete's head.

"That wasn't very smart you know young lady."

"Well then maybe I should hang with you so you can stop me from doing anything else dangerous tonight."

Ray shook his head. He looked at Gerard and smiled.

"So, uh...welcome to my party?*

Gerard smiled weakly.

"Thank you for inviting us."

Ray put a hand out to pull Pete up and then Frank. Frank brushed himself off and moved back to Gerard, placing an arm around his waist.

"Oh...who's this?"

Frank smiled proudly, pulling Gerard closer.

"This is my very best friend Gerard. Gee, this is Pete."

Gerard smiled shyly, feeling a lot like a third wheel already...he hadn’t missed the "best friend" tag.

"Hi Pete."

He said quietly.

"Hi Gee. So can I hang with you guys tonight?"

Pete put his hands in his pocket and had a hopeful look on his face.

"I'm okay with it. What about you Gee?"

Gerard shrugged.

"Sure."

He had seen Frank at work so many times before that he knew he and Pete would end the night together...there really was no point in trying to deny or prevent the inevitable.

"Sweet!"

Pete bounced on his toes and Frank kissed Gerard's cheek.

"That's my Gee, always being considerate."

Gerard smiled weakly, looking down to hide his reddening cheeks in his hair.

"So, shall we go in then?"

Ray led the three of them to the front door.

"Yeah!"

"Party!"

Gerard hummed slightly in agreement cause with every step he took, he felt more and more like this was a really bad idea. Stepping inside, it was like a wall of sound hit them, and Gerard was pretty sure that if Frank’s arm wasn’t still around his waist, then he would’ve been knocked right off his feet by the volume alone...that’s if he hadn’t run away first. Frank was honestly the only think keeping him there.

Strong smells of what Gerard assumed were alcohol and weed hit him straight after the sound and made him cough, his eyes watering a little as his head swam. He’d smelled both of those things on Frank after he’d been to parties before of course, but Gerard had never experienced this first hand and he already knew he wasn’t going to like it.

"Oh man, the nose knows!"

"I know right?"

Pete linked an arm with Frank as they both moved through the party with Gerard. They found the kitchen and filled up their red cups. Pete offered one to Gerard, but Frank pushed it away.

"Gee doesn't drink. He is too much of an innocent sweetheart."

Frank kissed Gerard's cheek again and then took a big gulp from his cup.

"I on the other hand am the complete..."

He let out a loud burp and giggled.

"...opposite."

Gerard frowned slightly and shook his head, reaching for the cup.

"No, I’ll try it."

Pete shrugged and handed Gerard the cup. Even though he took a small sip, the alcohol burned his throat and mouth since he wasn't used to it. Gerard dropped the cup and started to gag and cough. Frank grabbed him and rubbed his back.

"Easy Gee, easy. I told you that it was a bad idea."

Gerard looked up with watering eyes and red cheeks.

"I’m *cough* not a *cough* child, Frank."

"Of course not Gee, but you don't drink like Pete and I do, so of course it didn't go over well."

Frank looked over Pete who was drinking his first cup and then a second as the guys around him yelled "chug". Gerard looked too and knew there was no point in even trying. Pete was everything Gerard would never be...slim, gorgeous, popular and desirable. Gerard sighed and grabbed a bottle of Coke before sitting down on a chair in the corner to watch his first ever party from the sidelines. He opened the bottle and took a big mouthful, it tasted a bit funny, but after whatever had been in that red cup, he really didn’t care.

(time passes)

"Hey Gee, where've ya been baby?"

A very drunk and high Frank flopped in Gerard's lap. He straddled him and threw his arms around his neck. Frank leaned in real close and whispered in Gerard's ear, his breath warm against the skin.

"I missed you."

Gerard blinked at him blearily...he wasn’t feeling all together focused and he didn’t know why. Maybe he was dehydrated. Maybe he just needed another bottle of Coke.

"You’re jrunk."

He mumbled, his mouth not quite cooperating with his brain.

"Yes I am and...Gee, are you okay, your eyes look funny."

Frank grabbed Gerard's face and stared intently into his eyes. Gerard blinked slowly. Was it possible? Was Frank gonna kiss him?...Nah.

"'mmm Ok Frankie..."

He giggled slightly then dropped his voice like he was telling a secret.

"Y' know, I think my Coke's gone offff."

"Cokes, gone off?"

Gerard nodded as much as he could with Frank still holding his face.

"Yeah...it taste funny."

Frank took the bottle and sniffed it.

"Hey Charlie! Is there anything in the Cokes?"

Gerard looked up and saw a very tall, thin white man with dreads in his hair and a ring through his nose...Charlie, apparently.

"Yah dude...I think Lacey dropped a tab in some of 'em."

Gerard wasn’t sure what a "tab" was exactly, but he had a feeling that it wasn’t good.

"Are you shitting me?!"

Charlie put his hands up in defence.

"Woah man, chill. It’s just a little E...what’s your problem?"

"The problem is he's never even tried weed or a fucking cigarette!"

Frank turned from yelling at Charlie, back to Gerard, lowering his voice for him.

"Gee. Gee, come on, focus on me baby."

"Frankie..."

Gerard giggled, looking Frank straight in the eyes.

"You’re soooo pppretty."

Then he turned a little green, turned his head to the left and threw up all over some drunk guy's shoes before passing out cold.

(time passes)

"Hey Gerard, how are you feeling?"

Ray sat down next to the bed Gerard was lying in. He placed a cold towel on his head.

"Urgh...did I eat something bad?...I feel like I ate lava."

"No, I'm sorry man. This girl that my friend brought laced the Cokes with tabs of acid."

Gerard slowly opened his eyes, blinking and squinting against what felt like the brightest light in the world...though in actuality, it was only a very dim bulb in a bedside lamp.

"Acid?...that’s not good!..."

He turned his head to the right, groaning in discomfort.

"Where’s Frank?"

"He brought you in here and made sure no one came in while he made sure you didn't have a bad trip. Once you were completely asleep he locked the door so no one could come in."

Gerard tried to process that, though everything was still sort of fuzzy.

"And...and now?"

"I think he crashed in one of the rooms. Not sure which one."

"Oh..."

Gerard couldn’t help the touch of surprise in his voice, he’d really expected the other boy to say that Frank was with Pete.

"Ok then."

Ray smiled and removed the cloth from Gerard's head. Even though Gerard was older by a bit, he kind of felt like Ray's kid brother.

"Do you want something? Water or something small to eat? I know you didn't get anything at the party. Also I made sure the bathroom was free if you wanted to shower. Frank cleaned you up a bit, but you might want more."

"I...I just kinda want to go home. I don’t think parties are really my thing..."

Gerard sighed, looking down.

"I’m sorry."

"It's okay. Why don't you at least use the bathroom and I'll find Frank for you..."

Ray got up to leave.

"The bathroom is the the third door on the right."

Gerard nodded.

"Yeah, Ok."

He carefully pushed himself upright, swallowing back the sick feeling that settled in his stomach with every movement, then swung his legs slowly off the side of the bed and pushed up onto his feet using the corner of the nightstand for support. Once he was up and his balance was centred, he made his way slowly out of the room. Everything still seemed to have a slightly surreal feel to it, but Gerard had heard about the effects of Acid and knew it wouldn’t last forever. He held onto the wall as he headed for the bathroom, now, did Ray say the second or third door?

Reaching the second and seeing it open a crack, he used one hand to support himself against the frame, and the other to push the door open. It was not the bathroom!

There in the king size bed, cuddled up close with the blankets up over them while clothes lay in a mess all over the floor...were Frank and Pete, fast asleep. Now Gerard felt sick again.

With a small whimper, he closed the door and continued to the bathroom where he spent the next half hour emptying his guts into the toilet. Gerard decided not to mention what he’d seen to Frank, because that was just what Frank does, and Gerard really didn’t want to think about it too much. He wasn’t sure exactly how he got home that night, but he was pretty sure Frank had not been driving.

Gerard was so excited when the package arrived in the mail a few days after the party. He was glad that he was home alone while his mom was at work and his dad was at Walmart, as he really didn’t want to answer questions about what he’d bought online. He took the padded envelope up to his room and closed the door, then ripped it open. Inside was two bottles of pills, and a letter from the company. The letter thanked him for his purchase, gave instructions on how to take the pills...one of each, once a day in the morning...and a list of possible side effects in very small writing at the bottom. There was also a repeat order form with a discount code off you next order...though Gerard still wasn’t sure he’d have enough money saved by the time this first lot was finished.

It was a little before noon, so he figured it was ok to take the first pills right away. Frank was due over any minute for video games and movies, so Gerard quickly took one pill from each bottle and downed them with a swig of cold coffee from the mug on his nightstand. He grimaced at the temperature, but shrugged afterward as hey, coffee's coffee.

Just then, the doorbell rang and he knew it was probably Frank. He'd quickly hid the bottles at the back of his underwear drawer and headed downstairs to let Frank in.

(time passes)

That was two weeks ago now, and Gerard was actually pleased with the results. He had been taking the pills religiously every morning, then skipping breakfast, eating as little as he could get away with without arousing suspicion at lunch, then eating a small dinner with his dad in the evening. In the last two weeks, he’d lost an impressive 36lbs, and was now wearing a belt to hold up his jeans. He was still wearing his baggy hoodies as they covered him up and kept him warm, but they were feeling baggier than ever and he liked that.

He’d noticed that he was a little more tired than usual, and even though it was now summer, he was feeling kinda chilly most of the time...but when he looked at the letter that came with the pills, those weren’t amongst the side effects listed, so he ignored it and carried on taking the pills every day.

He’d just spent the week with Frank, watching movies and hanging out...but now it was Saturday and he was just woken by his annoying alarm. Groaning, he hit his alarm and rolled over, pulling his blanket up over his head...just five more minutes wouldn’t hurt, right?...it wasn’t like he had school. It was two weeks into summer break and he had nowhere he needed to be...so why was his alarm even still set?

Suddenly his bedroom door opened and Frank was telling him he had to get up because of some...concert they were going to?...why didn’t he remember they had plans today?

"Ok Ok Frank, I’m getting up."

He groaned, making no effort to move out of his comfy nest of blankets.

"It's four man, we got to get you dressed, grab food and get there when doors open at seven!..."

Frank went into Gerard's dresser and started pulling out clothing.

"I also told Pete that we would meet him there too and he is bringing a few of his friends..."

Frank pulled jeans and a t-shirt out for Gerard and tossed them at him.

"Some guy whose name starts with A...Alfie or something and a Pat, and I think John or Joe?"

"That’s a...lot..."

Gerard said quietly, dropping the jeans as his fingers felt like ice. He bent to pick them up before going to his underwear draw and grabbing a new pair of black boxers. He shut the drawer and headed toward the bathroom to change.

"I’ll be out in a few. Could you go get me a coffee please Frankie?...I think I’m gonna need it."

"Got you babe."

Frank kissed Gerard's cheek. He went to say something else, but his phone rang.

"Dude! Yeah, he just woke up. No Way!"

Frank left for the kitchen. Gerard sighed and walked into the bathroom, closing the door with a quiet click. Putting his clothes down on the little wicker chair that was sat in the corner of the room, he turned on the shower and started to strip off the sweatpants and hoodie he’d slept in...and worn all day yesterday as well for that matter. He looked at himself in the mirror as the water heated up. He could see a definite improvement already and it made him smile a little. His stomach was almost flat, he actually had a waist now and his thighs weren’t rubbing together like before...and Ok sure, he looked like he hadn’t slept in a week, but he was headed in the right direction.

He ignored how pale he looked cause he’d always been pale, and he ignored the dark circles under his eyes and the slight tremble in his hands in favour of concentrating on the good things instead. Deciding that he would hold off on checking his weight on the scales until he got home later, he turned and stepped under the hot spray.

Ten minutes later, after he’d scrubbed his body and even washed his hair, Gerard stood in front of the mirror again, brushing his teeth and trying to remember if he had anything else planned with Frank that had slipped his mind. He couldn’t think of anything, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have other plans...he had been kind of forgetful lately. When he’d finished brushing his teeth, he quickly got dressed and ran his fingers through his damp hair...maybe he should get it cut, or maybe coloured? Shaking his head as his mind wandered again, Gerard left the bathroom and gasped in surprise to see Frank sat on his bed...for a second, he’d forgotten the other boy was even there. He laughed slightly to cover himself.

"Frank. You made me jump."

He put his sweatpants and hoodie into his hamper and started searching for his shoes.

"Well jump into my arms and we can fly on out of here."

Frank handed Gerard his coffee, perfectly made as he likes it. Gerard giggled slightly, taking the cup and drinking it all down in one go before putting the cup down to resume his search.

"Thank you Frankie. Now, if I could just find the other shoe that goes with this one..."

He trailed off, holding up one shoe for Frank to see.

"I will never understand how you lose your shoes or how you can drink coffee that fast..."

Frank got on his knees in front of Gerard.

"Your foot Cinderella?"

Gerard rolled his eyes and lifted one foot, nearly falling and having to grab Frank’s shoulders to stop himself from tipping over.

"Sorry..."

He mumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up. Frank chuckled and picked up Gerard's foot, tickling it lightly. Gerard squeaked, pulling his foot back and instantly losing his balance. His right knee gave out under him and he suddenly found himself sat on Frank’s lap, their noses less than an inch apart.

"Sorry."

He mumbled again, swallowing heavily and praying his cock didn’t take notice of their current position as his face felt like it was on fire.

"Well hello dare wabbit."

"H-hi."

Gerard giggled self-consciously, trying to get off of Frank as quickly as possible before he squashed him under his weight...he’d lost a lot so far, but not enough to be comfortable sitting on someone. Sitting on the floor was probably safer for putting his shoes on anyway. Frank grabbed Gerard's foot. He grabbed the shoe and placed it on Gerard's foot. Gerard smiled shyly.

"I can do that Frank. You don’t have to."

"I want to. I like spoiling my best friend."

Frank tied it tight but not too tight. Gerard’s heart wasn’t sure whether to fly because Frank cared for him, or break in half because of the "friend" tag. He smiled softly, he was used to hiding his feelings by this point.

"Thank you."

Frank stood up then practically lifted Gerard into the air.

"Man Gee, you're light as a feather. I gotta take you out to eat more before you waste away to nothing on me."

Gerard frowned slightly as he turned away, pushing Frank’s hands off and moving to grab his keys, phone and wallet...he didn’t think Frank would be one to make fun of him.

"Ok let’s go."

He muttered, heading for the door.

"What did I say?"

Frank trailed after Gerard as he left the house, closing the door behind him.

(time passes)

"OKAY FUCKERS, WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BREAK AND THEN BE BACK WITH MORE SHIT TO BREAK STUFF TO!"

The crowd roared as the band left the stage. Frank, Pete, and Joe moved from the pit to find where Gerard, Patrick and Andy were. All three hung back cause the crowd was too intense.

"HOLY FUCK THAT WAS AMAZING!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?"

A very sweaty Frank hugged Gerard, shoving his face in his neck and breathing him in.

"You smell so good Gee."

Gerard giggled, pushing Frank off so it wasn’t too obvious that his cock just twitched from the attention.

"Ew Frankie, you’re all sticky."

"You know you love it..."

Frank pushed his face in more and nipped at Gerard's skin. He let out a possessive growl.

"Mine."

Gerard’s eyes widened.

"Bathroom!"

He squawked embarrassingly before pushing Frank off and running away into the nearest men's room to hide the boner that was starting to grow quickly in his pants.

"What did you do to him Frank?"

Andy helped Frank up, but Frank stumbled into Pete instead. He did the same move to Pete as he did to Gerard, but Pete didn't push him away. They ended up against the wall making out and Patrick just rolled his eyes.

"Let's go get a drink and leave the love birds alone."

Andy and Joe agreed and went to the bar.

(time passes)

As much as Frank always liked to point out that Gerard was an "innocent little flower", or something similar...that didn’t mean that the younger boy had never used his hand to rid himself of a problem or two. He had just finished "ridding himself" of said Frank induced problem, when he felt his head start to spin. He knew for a 100% certain fact, that his drinks were untampered with tonight, as he had bought unopened bottles at the bar and never once left them unattended...so his sudden dizzy spell was obviously something else.

He thought for a second or two that he’d just cum too hard, or that it was just too damn hot in the club...but the dizziness was getting worse instead of going away as he splashed cold water on his face at the sink. He looked into the dirty and cracked mirror and saw through wavering vision that he looked like a vampire had just sucked every last drop of blood right out of him...something was clearly not right.

Taking a couple of deep, shaky breaths...he turned and headed back out into the club. He had to find Frank.

Stumbling through the crowd, bumping into strangers and hoping that no one would take exception and decide to beat him up for spilling their drink, Gerard headed back toward where he thought he’d last seen Frank. His head was pounding and spinning and, if he'd had more than the dozen or so Nachos in his stomach that he couldn’t get out of eating with Frank earlier, then he would also have probably been heaving too. He bumped into a guy that looked like he could bench press a truck, but was luckily in a good mood and let him go on his way, then stumbled on a half dozen more steps before his eyes rolled back and he fell face first onto the ground just a few steps away from his goal, passing out with a weak whimper on his lips.

Notes

Hi there chipmunks, how’s you?

So this is the first update I’m putting up on here tonight, and there will be at least one more before I go off to bed.

So Gee's not doing so well...what do you think?

Until next time...PLEASE COMMENT and peace out babies!
<3