"Look at you Gerard, growing up so fast."

"And out."

"Hush now Marcia."

"What, I am just concerned for the boy. He wants to find a nice girl and settle down."

"Yeah, then he can get the gut from all that good cooking she will do."

"Donna you feed the boy too well. He should be skinner like Michael."

"Now there is a handsome looking lad and not even in his teens yet."

"I agree, slow down on the bread and pasta and have him eat more salads."

"Marcia he's not a girl you know."

"I know but that will help him slim down."

"He does have curves like a girl though."

"What do they call them...child bearing hips?"

"Oh stop it you two, you're going to give the boy a complex about eating."

"Nah, that only happens to girls."

Donna came out of the kitchen.

"Alright everyone, dinner."

All the aunts and uncles got up and headed to the dining room. Henry walked up to Gerard and pinched Gerard's side

"I guess girlish figures don't matter as much as when I was a boy."

…

Gerard woke up with a gasp, sitting up so fast his head spun. He groaned slightly, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment til he regained his equilibrium, then opened his eyes and sighed...it was the third time this week that he’d been woken up by that awful memory...and it was only Thursday. Running a shaky hand through his messy bed hair, he swung his legs out of bed and stood up. According to the glowing red numbers on his alarm clock, it was just after 4 am, so as quietly as he could, he left his bedroom and went downstairs. He went to the kitchen and started the coffee machine, then sat down at the table...which is where he still was when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs nearly two hours later. He looked up with tired eyes.

"Morning dad."

He mumbled.

"Morning champ, you're up early. Couldn't sleep?"

Don walked into the kitchen and filled his thermos with coffee. Gerard shrugged half heartedly, his hands wrapped around his third cup of black coffee of the morning.

"Not really."

"Well since we're both up, how about I make us breakfast?..."

Don started to get out a pan and then eggs and bacon from the fridge.

"You want cheese in your omlette?"

"Um...I already ate dad. Sorry."

Gerard hoped his stomach didn’t give him up as the liar he was, but right now he just couldn’t face food.

"Oh, well more for me I guess."

Don made his breakfast and then sat across from his son as he quickly ate it. Gerard stared into his cup, his eyes feeling heavy. He just hoped he wouldn’t fall asleep in class.

"You gonna be alright son, maybe you should stay home today..."

Don ruffled Gerard's hair affectionately.

"I worry about you. You look a little gaunt lately, are you sure you're eating enough? That can be part of the energy problem too, and can get you sick."

"I’m eating dad...you don’t need to worry. I’m just not sleeping too good, that’s all."

"Alright. Well I will see you tonight then. I'll bring Chinese home."

Don kissed Gerard's head and then was off. Gerard sighed...one more meal he’d have to pretend he was too full to eat. Groaning weakly, he pushed up to his feet and took his cup to the sink. He rinsed it out then left the kitchen, heading upstairs to get ready for school.


(time passes)


"Alright you guys, hit the showers!"

The kids headed out of the gym to the locker rooms. The guys were high fiving each other that were on the winning team for volley ball. The losers were grumbling. Gerard was hanging back and keeping to himself as he wasn’t a part of the winning team, and the losing team weren’t really accepting of him either. He had no friends in this class...not even a vague acquaintance.

In the locker room the guys were getting undressed, hitting each other with towels and heading to the showers. Gerard dreaded the showers. If he could get away with not going in, he would...but unfortunately, gym was first lesson today and it was a hot day. Gerard needed a shower.

Reluctantly, he went to his little corner of the locker room and stripped off his sweaty gym kit. He grabbed his towel from his gym bag and wrapped it around his waist, then with a heavy sigh...knowing this was going to be bad...he headed to the showers. Towels snapped at his body trying to get him to drop his. The guys made sure the only free shower was in the middle of the room so they could all talk shit about him. Gerard chewed the inside of his lip in an attempt not to cry...it wasn’t really working. Once he was under the shower the tormenting continued, except now the towel whips were on wet skn so that left marks.

"Stop, please?"

He whimpered slightly, trying to hide in his dripping wet hair.

"Alright, what's going on in here, it doesn't take this long to..."

The gym instructor stopped short seeing what was happening.

"You five, get dressed and go to the principal's office now...Gerard are you alright?"

Gerard took a couple deep breaths, then nodded shakily.

"Yes sir, 'm fine."

He kept his eyes on the floor and his hands protectively over his junk.

"Do you need to go to the nurse's office?"

"N-no sir."

"Well then finish up and get dressed. I'll give you an excuse for next period."

The teacher left the showers and started yelling in the locker room. Left alone, Gerard let the tears roll down his red cheeks. His hands shook as he washed his body...even after all the meals he'd been skipping, he was still just a fat lump. No wonder Frank couldn't see him as anything but a friend...he was disgusting!

Sobbing quietly, Gerard washed his hair, then grabbed his wet towel...yes, of course those boys had to soak it so he couldn't use it...and headed back into the locker room. He kept his eyes down and made his way over to his corner, where he was surprised to find a clean and dry towel waiting for him. He guessed the coach had put it there, but he wasn't sure.

He started to dry himself off, uncomfortably aware that several pairs of eyes were watching him...he imagined with disgust.

"Uh...Gerard is it? Hey, I'm Ray. Um...the guys that coach sent to the principal tried to hide your clothes, but I found them."

It was Ray Toro, captain of the volleyball team. He never picked on Gerard or anyone else and he was in the year book two years running as best captain and team player in the school. Gerard looked up through his stringy wet hair. The boy in front of him was tall, handsome and stood there in just his underwear with all the self confidence in the world. Plus, the boy was ripped...and hung. Gerard swallowed as he felt his face heat up...he hoped Ray didn't notice that he'd looked.

"Uh...th-thank you."

He stuttered out quietly, wishing he could sink into the ground right now. He gingerly reached out for the found clothes. He wanted to get dressed as quickly as possible...no one should have to see him naked.

"Sure man, no problem and hey, I'll keep those guys off your back. No one deserves to be bullied..."

Ray smiled down at the boy. He wasn't a bad guy, just clearly pretty shy and maybe he had a little social anxiety.

"Hey, a bunch of us are getting together for a school is over party. Why don't you come and bring a friend. Don't worry, none of those jerks are going to be there. Just decent guys like me."

Gerard’s eyes widened, a smile starting to spread on his lips.

"What?...you want me to come?!..."

Then he frowned, huffing slightly.

"Wait...that’s a joke, right?...you’re making fun of me now?!"

"No no no!..."

Ray held up his hands defensively.

"No seriously, I would like you to come. Look here..."

He reached in his locker and pulled out his phone.

"I'll give you my phone number and text you the address."

Gerard blinked at him disbelievingly.

"Like...seriously?..."

He couldn’t believe that someone as nice as Ray Toro was actually inviting him, fat ugly Gerard Way, to a party.

"Can I bring my friend Frank?"

He had a vague memory that Frank had fucked Ray at some point last year, and he didn’t want things to be awkward.

"Sure, I said you could bring a friend..."

Ray smiled and held his phone out.

"You want to put your number in and I can call you?"

"Oh uh, sure."

Gerard accepted the brand new, top of the range cellphone he would never be able to afford, and typed in his number. He handed it back with a shy smile.

"Great, now I'll call you."

Ray quickly hit send. Gerard heard his crappy standard ringtone coming from the bottom of his bag. He dug out his cell, that was nearly as old as he was, and saw the unknown number on the tiny cracked screen. He smiled and looked up at Ray.

"Thanks. I’ll save your number."

He hated that shitty phone, but now he had doubled the number of friends' numbers on it, so it was getting better at least. Ray tried not to be bothered by the old cell phone. In fact it gave him an idea.

"Hey, I have a phone that I was going to do that phones for cash thing with, but I would rather see someone who needs it get it. Would you like my old phone? All you have to do is switch your number to it. Call it a..."

Ray thought about it for a minute.

"...late birthday present."

He was pretty sure Gerard's birthday was in the spring. Gerard swallowed, looking down at the piece of shit in his hand. He wanted to say yes but...

"I’m not a ch-charity case."

He mumbled quietly.

"No no no, I don't mean it like that!..."

Again Ray put up his hands in defense and shook his head back and forth, his curls loosly bouncing.

"It's not charity if it's a friend giving a gift to another friend, is it?"

Gerard looked up through his hair.

"I don’t know...I guess not..."

He sighed heavily.

"Thanks."

"Sure, I can have it for you at the party!..."

Ray was nodding and his hair was bouncing even more now.

"Cool, so we should get dressed now cause it's getting cold in here."

Ray held out his arms and showed the goosebumps. Gerard’s eyes widened as he realised that he’d just had a whole conversation with the tall, hot boy...COMPLETELY NAKED!?!

"Oh God. Um err y-yeah."

He swallowed, his face turning bright red as he nodded and quickly scrambled to get into his clothes. Ray probably thought he was a total freak now...fan-fucking-tastic!

Ray didn't even notice.

"Glad you aren’t weirded out. My boyfriend would be laughing at me right now."

Gerard froze with his jeans halfway up his thighs, his head snapping up, eyes almost popping out of his head.

"Boyfriend?!...you’re...you’re...gay?!"

He whispered the last word, knowing how unforgivingly homophobic much of the school could be. How was Ray so open about it?

"Poly actually. My boyfriend has a girlfriend and she's mine too..."

Ray pulled his wallet out and showed a picture of him and two other people kissing his cheeks.

"This is Christa and this is Sam."

Gerard wasn’t sure what to say.

"You all look...happy."

He said quietly. He wished he could be that happy with someone...with Frank.

"It's hard work and takes a lot of communication, but yeah...we are."

Ray sighed and put his wallet away, then carried on getting dressed.

"Gee!..."

The locker room door burst open and Frank ran in. He saw Gerard and ignored that fact that he was half undressed and grabbed his hips.

"Holy fuck, I heard those assholes talking about you! Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere badly? Let me look at you."

Gerard tried to cover himself and pull away, the blush on his face spreading down his neck and over his usually pale chest.

"I’m fine Frank. Coach stopped them...I’m not hurt."

He knew that was a lie and that he would have some bruises from the towels at least, but he didn’t want Frank to worry...or see any more of him than he could now. Ray tried not to look amused as the shorter boy ran his hands all over any exposed part of Gerard. It was clear he cared a lot about him.

"Gerard is this your friend that you'll bring to the party?"

"Party?..."

Frank stopped feeling up Gerard and turned to the other boy.

"Hey I know you."

"You do?"

"Yeah we fucked once."

Gerard rolled his eyes, pulling away now that Frank's attention had been diverted. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on, wondering in his head why Frank would ever bother with him, when he could be with someone like Ray.

"Oh...yeah, well that was..."

Frank shook his head.

"Nah, it was all good. It was then and this is now."

Ray relaxed a little.

"Yeah it was. So how are you?"

"Still free and fucking, you?"

"Uh, in a relationship."

"Better you than me, man."

Frank laughed and then turned back to Gerard.

"Do I need to beat the shit out of someone again?"

Gerard gave Frank a blank look, then grabbed his faded hoodie.

"No Frank, you don’t."

He pulled on the hoodie, shoved his feet into his ratty Converse, then grabbed his bag and started toward the door.

"Gerard wait up!"

Ray watched Frank run after the boy.

"I'll text you Gerard, okay?"

Ray waved as they both exited the locker room. He couldn't wait to tell Christa and Sam about this later today.


(time passes)



"Are you sure Jim?"



"As sure as I'm standing here Bonnie. Just two capsules a day of this power weight loss pill can show you results in less than one week!"



"Wow! and it's all natural?"



"Yes and perfectly safe too."


Gerard's nightmare had woken him up about an hour ago and he didn’t want to risk trying to sleep again. It was a little after three in the morning and he was sat on his bed watching infomercials on his laptop with his earbuds in so he didn’t wake up his dad. Most of these things were pointless and useless and didn’t really hold his attention. This one though...

He watched with interest, waiting for the price and details of how to buy the pills.


"So where so we get these amazing and natural weight loss supplements Jim?"



"Well Bonnie, you can order them right here, right now on our website. There is also additional information about other supplements that you can use to enrich your life."



"Wow Jim, I'm going to check it out right now!"


Gerard opened a new tab and typed in the website's name. His ancient laptop buffered for what felt like forever...then the site loaded. There were adverts for various supplements and links to other connected sites, and there were before and after pictures for the weight loss pills. The people in the after photos looked so happy and healthy. Gerard scrolled down a bit further and his heart dropped...he could never afford even one bottle of these things. Sighing, he went to close the tab, when a thought came to him. He made a note of what the pills were called, and opened another tab, searching to see if there was a cheaper alternative.

Ten minutes of searching later, and Gerard had spent the small amount of money he had saved up in his bank, on a month's worth of diet pills that were basically the same thing as the ones on the infomercial, but that cost just a fraction of the price. He smiled as he closed the last two tabs, and returned to watching infomercials...ten minutes later, he was asleep with a smile on his lips.

Notes

Hi there chipmunks (again)...how’s you? (again)

So I didn’t lie, you get two chapters for the price of one cos we are nice and it is Christmas...hope you liked them.

Until next time...PLEASE COMMENT and peace out!
<3