The sixth part ((frerard))
Chapter 1 // my taste in music is your face
Frank POV
My heart is pounding and I feel like I’m about to puke up right there. The teacher trots through the empty corridor, showing me to my first lesson and I awkwardly scurry behind trying to keep up. I pray for something to get me out of this, the firebell to ring, the ground to open up, a dinosaur to rampage through the school crushing everyone in its path, anything I don’t care. This is never going to go well, I mean you expect me, an openly gay ‘emo’ kid with a history of anxiety and depression to go into a massive, hot, gross building full of angry straight teenagers for 7hours a day and come out alive?
“Here we are!” The teacher announces, falsely cheerily, stopping outside a door, English class. She knocks before going straight in. I feel beads of sweat on my forehead and every bone in my body wants to turn round and run straight back out.
“Ah you must be Frank!” the teacher at the desk smiles, standing up to shake my hand “There’s a seat for you right at the back next to Gerard” He gestures. I nod and look at the empty seat. “Gerard has some issues” he informs me quietly “He doesn’t talk at all, completely mute, but I trust you to be respectful”
I nod and scowl as I take a seat. I think I can decide for myself if someone has 'issues’ considering 'issues’ have been my speciality for the last three years. I sit down and look at the boy drawing next to me, Gerard. Fucking hell, he’s gorgeous. He has relatively long dark hair, hazel eyes softly outlined which I can tell have an emotional depth to them I’ll probably never know of. His lips are small and pink and his nose looks like a little pixies and I find myself smiling.
“Hey” I greet, knowing full well he won’t reply. Instead he shoots me a small smile before looking back down at his drawing. It’s amazing, it’s of some kind of comic book character, they have shoulder length bright red hair and some features actually a bit similar to Gerard’s.
“Books out class, Frank, your head of year gave you a book yes?” I nod and pull it out of my bag, cursing under my breath. Gerard must hear because he looks up at me and lets out an almost inaudible giggle.
Throughout the lesson I notice Gerard gets hardly any work done. He sits with his book open and his sketchpad next to it and only copies out a few scribbled notes before returning to his drawing. These 'issues’ of his must mean he could get away with murder. Lucky.
I spend the lesson staring at the clock. This isn’t as bad as I expected, just really fucking boring. As the it draws to a close and everyone begins packing away, I feel a tug on my sleeve. I look round and Gerard pointing to his timetable in his hand. I pull mine out my pocket, assuming that’s what he wanted and we realise they are absolutely identical. He scrawls something on the edge of his and passes it to me.
'If I’m not too weird for you, there’s a seat free next to me in every lesson if you want it’
“Yes, thanks so much!” I grin “And trust me you are not too weird for me, if anything I’m the one who should be scared of being 'too weird’ for you”
He doesn’t respond, just gives me a look that says 'sure’ and picks up his bag.
The next lesson is maths and the teacher is a complete bitch, everytime I try to talk to Gerard or he tries to write a note, she bellows our name making the poor kid flinch. English then maths what a great start to the day. I say that but English isn’t actually that bad, I enjoy the creative writing aspect and the teacher seems pretty chill excluding the remark at the start.
After maths its break and Gerard takes me to a bench in the field. He pulls out a ham sandwich and offers me half. I reject apologetically before explaining my vegetarianism. After a few moments he writes something on a page in his sketchbook. 'so tell me more about yourself’ it reads. I think for a moment unsure of what to reply.
“Uh I’m frank, frank iero, I’m 15 openly gay, I play guitar” I mumble, feeling awkward. I debate whether to tell him about the 'issues’ of my own. “Music saved my life” I add, that implies I was in a time where my life needed to be saved but anyone who hasn’t also been in that situation would probably brush it aside. I watch his reaction, I noted his face lit up slightly when I said I was gay but now he was clearly suppressing a smile.
'Same’ he wrote 'about the music thing’.
“What about you? I’ve told you about myself, now it’s your turn” I smile.
'I’m 14, I’m really into art and I’m glad you’re gay because I really dislike homophobes/transphobes/sexist people/racists so I’m hoping you’re quite socially aware’ he writes. Fuck yes I’ve not landed myself with an arsehole.
“Yeah I am” I laugh “I’m genuinely relieved you’re not any of those things either”
'What bands do you like?’
“A shit ton, I couldn’t list them all. I do especially like the misfits though”
Suddenly the bell interrupts our conversation and we head back inside. We have history then drama. History goes quickly, we have to make a poster on world war two and Gerard and I work together. I really enjoy his presence, it’s weird, this kid doesn’t speak and I hardly know him yet somehow he has a warm calming effect on me. Not to mention the fact I can feel a crush on him brewing.
Drama is boring, Gerard sits out for obvious reasons and I end up in a group with a bunch of strangers. Most of the lesson is taken up with me being interrogated.
“What school did you go to?”
“One in Philadelphia, you wouldn’t know it”
“I like your lip ring”
“Thanks”
“Are you emo?”
“I don’t fucking know”
“Have you ever smoked weed?”
“No”
“Which girls here would you bang?”
“None, I’m gay”
Silence. The crowd surrounding me looks around in shock. I don’t see what the big deal is.
“Yo dudes! We got ourselves a fag here” one guy calls across the room.
“No that’s cool man” someone else says. I kinda just scuttle back to Gerard.
“Off to see your boyfriend?” someone mocks.
“Leave the dude alone” someone else comments. I’m surprised by the reaction. To be honest I expected everyone to hate me for it but most seemed pretty indifferent. Of course there’s a few arseholes but there’s a few nice people too which I’m very grateful for. Either way it’s a relief to have it out in the open.
Lunchtime is spent being asked more dumb questions. News spreads like wildfire I guess. None of the questions are that insulting just mostly about my sexuality and really fucking ignorant. They seem to just descend into a game of lets-try-and-make-frank-straight.
“Would you go straight for this girl?”
“No I’m gay”
“Would you go straight for this hot chick in the year above”
“No I’m gay”
“You wouldn’t even go straight for Sophie Williams?”
“I have no idea who that is and no I’m motherfucking gay”
I wish I could say it that confidently but I just end up mumbling a ‘no’ each time. I glance sideways at Gerard, he’s moving his food around his plate staring into space, clearly not enjoying the situation.
As the bell rings everyone disperses and he trudges to our last lesson, RS, hardly even looking at me. I follow him and sit down next to him. I ask if he’s okay but he doesn’t respond at all so I assume he’s just stressed from all the people. I notice his eyes look dead, not bright and expressive like they have been all day. It scares me. Is he having some kinda silent anxiety attack right there? He rests his head on the table, unresponsive for the rest of the lesson so I leave him to it. If he could he’d probably tell me to piss off. I don’t pay attention for most of the lesson, letting my mind wander. I need to leave 15minutes early to go and see my head of year and tell her how my day went. The class become restless towards the end and I notice Gerard has still hardly moved and looks like he wants to stab someone. I rip out a corner of the page and write out my phone number and a note telling him to text me if he needs to and slip it into his bag as I leave. I worry about him all the way home.
Gerard POV (note: dialogue italicised isn’t actually spoken aloud and is conversation between him and his alters (or is a text but hopefully thats clear))
I go to get my homework out my bag when I see a note. 'Talk to me if you need to dude, 07362964968, Frank x’ it reads. Oh my god I got Franks number.
'Do you fancy him?’ Party teases.
'Yes’ I retort without hesitation.
'Yeah same’ they reply making me giggle. I type the number into my phone slowly and compose a text.
Me: Hi its Gerard :)
Send. Almost immediately I get a reply.
Frank: Hey! Are you okay?
Me: Yeah fine :)
Frank: Okay are you sure you seemed a bit stressed earlier
Me: I’m fine really
Oh god he must think I’m crazy.
'No he doesn’t honestly’ G reassures 'keep the conversation going’
Me: What about you? How are you?
Frank: Just trying to do this shitty maths work
Me: Damn I still have to mine to do
Frank: Ah crap, I just have 2 more questions then I can go play some guitar
Me: Awesome, I really wish I could play, I can strum out like 3 chords and that’s it
Frank: I could teach you
Me: Thanks for the offer but believe it or not but if I were to be anyone in a band it’d be the singer, apparently I’m not that bad
Me: sorry that sounds really bigheaded
Frank: No it doesn’t so are you like completely silent except for when you sing bc if so that is stage persona goals
Me: nah I do talk sometimes, quite a lot actually if you catch me at home in the right mood, just only ever around someone I’m comfortable with, somewhere I’m comfortable
Frank: okay that’s cool, would you be comfortable around me?
Me: Don’t get your hopes up
Me: So what do you think of the school?
We get into a long discussion about school, who are the people to avoid and all the tips and tricks. We both open up a bit too which is freeing, I even tell him that I’m not straight. I learn a lot about him, how he moved from Philadelphia and his history of depression and anxiety.
“Dinner!” my mum calls suddenly.
“Coming!” I reply.
I quickly type out a text
Me: Sorry gtg dinner
***
I feel the familiar, comforting sensation of detachment, where it’s like I’m watching my life on a screen commentating on my own life, as Party takes control. I watch them get out the shower and check my phone and see I have an unread message from Frank. They let out a tiny excited squeal.
Frank: Sorry again for the lunchtime incident I should of told them all to fuck off.
Me: What lunchtime incident?
Frank: You don’t remember?
Me: No?
They don’t consult me and reply without thinking about the possible consequences, it’s the truth though, none of us have any memory of it.
'What the hell did you just do party?’ saviour yells. Saviour never talks to poor party so they must be in the shit right now.
'Sorry I didn’t think but ya know franks a cool dude even if he knew he wouldn’t care’ they try to explain. They’re still not sure, none of us wanna risk it though. And now I think about it, the real issue is why can’t any of us remember lunch? Apparently there was an incident. Oh god that other dude came along didn’t he. Something scared me and whoever it is that leaves scars on our wrists thought he’d show up. He can’t show up at school again, god knows what could happen. We need clarity during school hours.
Party checks my phone again, frank still hasn’t read the previous message so they decide to take an early night.
The next morning they wake up early. They hate school, they’re too old for this, they consider skipping but we need to go for Frank. They also need to make sure they don’t say a word which is frustrating. I feel guilty, it’s not easy on Party to be at school and I know they’re aching for me to come out again.
'You called?’ I say. They know I’m not quite ready to show myself yet so they may just have to deal with it.
I watch them go and get ready in the bathroom, sighing at the reflection in the mirror. Their hairs red and they’re non binary, it must be hard to be trapped in my body. But I guess they go through it for me. I’m grateful.
‘Let’s get some individuality round here!’ they chuckle, applying eyeliner differently to how I do it.
'Hey!’ I cry, pouting sarcastically.
'Don’t worry you’re the most individual of us all’ they reassure. I love them a lot.
***
I see Frank hanging by the gate and he runs up to me.
“Gerard!” he cries. I smile. “I like your eyeliner”
I hear Party squeal but I groan, feeling self conscious.
“So what do we have first?” he asks. I reach into my pocket, pull out my timetable and point to the lesson. Art. My favourite. And Party's. And G’s but he’d never show himself at school.
Once we get into the lesson, Frank meets the teacher before I gesture for him to come and sit down. My heart pounds as I see him get his phone out, he’s reading the message from yesterday right next to me.
“You really don’t remember?” he asks eventually. I shrug wishing the ground would eat me.
“When I came in that English teacher warned me that you had some 'issues’ - I know what a prick, but may I ask what exactly?” He questions.
'Tell him’ Party pipes up. Okay.
I begin to write out a note. 'Come to the toilet, just ask to go and say I’m coming too to show you where it is and I'll explain'
My heart is pounding and I feel like I’m about to puke up right there. The teacher trots through the empty corridor, showing me to my first lesson and I awkwardly scurry behind trying to keep up. I pray for something to get me out of this, the firebell to ring, the ground to open up, a dinosaur to rampage through the school crushing everyone in its path, anything I don’t care. This is never going to go well, I mean you expect me, an openly gay ‘emo’ kid with a history of anxiety and depression to go into a massive, hot, gross building full of angry straight teenagers for 7hours a day and come out alive?
“Here we are!” The teacher announces, falsely cheerily, stopping outside a door, English class. She knocks before going straight in. I feel beads of sweat on my forehead and every bone in my body wants to turn round and run straight back out.
“Ah you must be Frank!” the teacher at the desk smiles, standing up to shake my hand “There’s a seat for you right at the back next to Gerard” He gestures. I nod and look at the empty seat. “Gerard has some issues” he informs me quietly “He doesn’t talk at all, completely mute, but I trust you to be respectful”
I nod and scowl as I take a seat. I think I can decide for myself if someone has 'issues’ considering 'issues’ have been my speciality for the last three years. I sit down and look at the boy drawing next to me, Gerard. Fucking hell, he’s gorgeous. He has relatively long dark hair, hazel eyes softly outlined which I can tell have an emotional depth to them I’ll probably never know of. His lips are small and pink and his nose looks like a little pixies and I find myself smiling.
“Hey” I greet, knowing full well he won’t reply. Instead he shoots me a small smile before looking back down at his drawing. It’s amazing, it’s of some kind of comic book character, they have shoulder length bright red hair and some features actually a bit similar to Gerard’s.
“Books out class, Frank, your head of year gave you a book yes?” I nod and pull it out of my bag, cursing under my breath. Gerard must hear because he looks up at me and lets out an almost inaudible giggle.
Throughout the lesson I notice Gerard gets hardly any work done. He sits with his book open and his sketchpad next to it and only copies out a few scribbled notes before returning to his drawing. These 'issues’ of his must mean he could get away with murder. Lucky.
I spend the lesson staring at the clock. This isn’t as bad as I expected, just really fucking boring. As the it draws to a close and everyone begins packing away, I feel a tug on my sleeve. I look round and Gerard pointing to his timetable in his hand. I pull mine out my pocket, assuming that’s what he wanted and we realise they are absolutely identical. He scrawls something on the edge of his and passes it to me.
'If I’m not too weird for you, there’s a seat free next to me in every lesson if you want it’
“Yes, thanks so much!” I grin “And trust me you are not too weird for me, if anything I’m the one who should be scared of being 'too weird’ for you”
He doesn’t respond, just gives me a look that says 'sure’ and picks up his bag.
The next lesson is maths and the teacher is a complete bitch, everytime I try to talk to Gerard or he tries to write a note, she bellows our name making the poor kid flinch. English then maths what a great start to the day. I say that but English isn’t actually that bad, I enjoy the creative writing aspect and the teacher seems pretty chill excluding the remark at the start.
After maths its break and Gerard takes me to a bench in the field. He pulls out a ham sandwich and offers me half. I reject apologetically before explaining my vegetarianism. After a few moments he writes something on a page in his sketchbook. 'so tell me more about yourself’ it reads. I think for a moment unsure of what to reply.
“Uh I’m frank, frank iero, I’m 15 openly gay, I play guitar” I mumble, feeling awkward. I debate whether to tell him about the 'issues’ of my own. “Music saved my life” I add, that implies I was in a time where my life needed to be saved but anyone who hasn’t also been in that situation would probably brush it aside. I watch his reaction, I noted his face lit up slightly when I said I was gay but now he was clearly suppressing a smile.
'Same’ he wrote 'about the music thing’.
“What about you? I’ve told you about myself, now it’s your turn” I smile.
'I’m 14, I’m really into art and I’m glad you’re gay because I really dislike homophobes/transphobes/sexist people/racists so I’m hoping you’re quite socially aware’ he writes. Fuck yes I’ve not landed myself with an arsehole.
“Yeah I am” I laugh “I’m genuinely relieved you’re not any of those things either”
'What bands do you like?’
“A shit ton, I couldn’t list them all. I do especially like the misfits though”
Suddenly the bell interrupts our conversation and we head back inside. We have history then drama. History goes quickly, we have to make a poster on world war two and Gerard and I work together. I really enjoy his presence, it’s weird, this kid doesn’t speak and I hardly know him yet somehow he has a warm calming effect on me. Not to mention the fact I can feel a crush on him brewing.
Drama is boring, Gerard sits out for obvious reasons and I end up in a group with a bunch of strangers. Most of the lesson is taken up with me being interrogated.
“What school did you go to?”
“One in Philadelphia, you wouldn’t know it”
“I like your lip ring”
“Thanks”
“Are you emo?”
“I don’t fucking know”
“Have you ever smoked weed?”
“No”
“Which girls here would you bang?”
“None, I’m gay”
Silence. The crowd surrounding me looks around in shock. I don’t see what the big deal is.
“Yo dudes! We got ourselves a fag here” one guy calls across the room.
“No that’s cool man” someone else says. I kinda just scuttle back to Gerard.
“Off to see your boyfriend?” someone mocks.
“Leave the dude alone” someone else comments. I’m surprised by the reaction. To be honest I expected everyone to hate me for it but most seemed pretty indifferent. Of course there’s a few arseholes but there’s a few nice people too which I’m very grateful for. Either way it’s a relief to have it out in the open.
Lunchtime is spent being asked more dumb questions. News spreads like wildfire I guess. None of the questions are that insulting just mostly about my sexuality and really fucking ignorant. They seem to just descend into a game of lets-try-and-make-frank-straight.
“Would you go straight for this girl?”
“No I’m gay”
“Would you go straight for this hot chick in the year above”
“No I’m gay”
“You wouldn’t even go straight for Sophie Williams?”
“I have no idea who that is and no I’m motherfucking gay”
I wish I could say it that confidently but I just end up mumbling a ‘no’ each time. I glance sideways at Gerard, he’s moving his food around his plate staring into space, clearly not enjoying the situation.
As the bell rings everyone disperses and he trudges to our last lesson, RS, hardly even looking at me. I follow him and sit down next to him. I ask if he’s okay but he doesn’t respond at all so I assume he’s just stressed from all the people. I notice his eyes look dead, not bright and expressive like they have been all day. It scares me. Is he having some kinda silent anxiety attack right there? He rests his head on the table, unresponsive for the rest of the lesson so I leave him to it. If he could he’d probably tell me to piss off. I don’t pay attention for most of the lesson, letting my mind wander. I need to leave 15minutes early to go and see my head of year and tell her how my day went. The class become restless towards the end and I notice Gerard has still hardly moved and looks like he wants to stab someone. I rip out a corner of the page and write out my phone number and a note telling him to text me if he needs to and slip it into his bag as I leave. I worry about him all the way home.
Gerard POV (note: dialogue italicised isn’t actually spoken aloud and is conversation between him and his alters (or is a text but hopefully thats clear))
I go to get my homework out my bag when I see a note. 'Talk to me if you need to dude, 07362964968, Frank x’ it reads. Oh my god I got Franks number.
'Do you fancy him?’ Party teases.
'Yes’ I retort without hesitation.
'Yeah same’ they reply making me giggle. I type the number into my phone slowly and compose a text.
Me: Hi its Gerard :)
Send. Almost immediately I get a reply.
Frank: Hey! Are you okay?
Me: Yeah fine :)
Frank: Okay are you sure you seemed a bit stressed earlier
Me: I’m fine really
Oh god he must think I’m crazy.
'No he doesn’t honestly’ G reassures 'keep the conversation going’
Me: What about you? How are you?
Frank: Just trying to do this shitty maths work
Me: Damn I still have to mine to do
Frank: Ah crap, I just have 2 more questions then I can go play some guitar
Me: Awesome, I really wish I could play, I can strum out like 3 chords and that’s it
Frank: I could teach you
Me: Thanks for the offer but believe it or not but if I were to be anyone in a band it’d be the singer, apparently I’m not that bad
Me: sorry that sounds really bigheaded
Frank: No it doesn’t so are you like completely silent except for when you sing bc if so that is stage persona goals
Me: nah I do talk sometimes, quite a lot actually if you catch me at home in the right mood, just only ever around someone I’m comfortable with, somewhere I’m comfortable
Frank: okay that’s cool, would you be comfortable around me?
Me: Don’t get your hopes up
Me: So what do you think of the school?
We get into a long discussion about school, who are the people to avoid and all the tips and tricks. We both open up a bit too which is freeing, I even tell him that I’m not straight. I learn a lot about him, how he moved from Philadelphia and his history of depression and anxiety.
“Dinner!” my mum calls suddenly.
“Coming!” I reply.
I quickly type out a text
Me: Sorry gtg dinner
***
I feel the familiar, comforting sensation of detachment, where it’s like I’m watching my life on a screen commentating on my own life, as Party takes control. I watch them get out the shower and check my phone and see I have an unread message from Frank. They let out a tiny excited squeal.
Frank: Sorry again for the lunchtime incident I should of told them all to fuck off.
Me: What lunchtime incident?
Frank: You don’t remember?
Me: No?
They don’t consult me and reply without thinking about the possible consequences, it’s the truth though, none of us have any memory of it.
'What the hell did you just do party?’ saviour yells. Saviour never talks to poor party so they must be in the shit right now.
'Sorry I didn’t think but ya know franks a cool dude even if he knew he wouldn’t care’ they try to explain. They’re still not sure, none of us wanna risk it though. And now I think about it, the real issue is why can’t any of us remember lunch? Apparently there was an incident. Oh god that other dude came along didn’t he. Something scared me and whoever it is that leaves scars on our wrists thought he’d show up. He can’t show up at school again, god knows what could happen. We need clarity during school hours.
Party checks my phone again, frank still hasn’t read the previous message so they decide to take an early night.
The next morning they wake up early. They hate school, they’re too old for this, they consider skipping but we need to go for Frank. They also need to make sure they don’t say a word which is frustrating. I feel guilty, it’s not easy on Party to be at school and I know they’re aching for me to come out again.
'You called?’ I say. They know I’m not quite ready to show myself yet so they may just have to deal with it.
I watch them go and get ready in the bathroom, sighing at the reflection in the mirror. Their hairs red and they’re non binary, it must be hard to be trapped in my body. But I guess they go through it for me. I’m grateful.
‘Let’s get some individuality round here!’ they chuckle, applying eyeliner differently to how I do it.
'Hey!’ I cry, pouting sarcastically.
'Don’t worry you’re the most individual of us all’ they reassure. I love them a lot.
***
I see Frank hanging by the gate and he runs up to me.
“Gerard!” he cries. I smile. “I like your eyeliner”
I hear Party squeal but I groan, feeling self conscious.
“So what do we have first?” he asks. I reach into my pocket, pull out my timetable and point to the lesson. Art. My favourite. And Party's. And G’s but he’d never show himself at school.
Once we get into the lesson, Frank meets the teacher before I gesture for him to come and sit down. My heart pounds as I see him get his phone out, he’s reading the message from yesterday right next to me.
“You really don’t remember?” he asks eventually. I shrug wishing the ground would eat me.
“When I came in that English teacher warned me that you had some 'issues’ - I know what a prick, but may I ask what exactly?” He questions.
'Tell him’ Party pipes up. Okay.
I begin to write out a note. 'Come to the toilet, just ask to go and say I’m coming too to show you where it is and I'll explain'
Notes
holy hell is DID an interesting topic, i stayed up til 6am researching and writing this and more.
The response ive got to just the summary is amazing, tho ngl pressure is strong. I hope this lives up to your expectations, but i'm still new to fanfiction writing so idk.
plz comment n subscribe n shizzle
Megan x
@snailthesaints (twitter)
@snailthesaints (instagram)
frnktasy.tumblr.com
@boy_division
omg that's so cool wow setting the bar low lmao but yess omg I met them again exactly a week later and died so hard
11/20/15