Beyond The Filter

*Gerards P.O.V 'oooh'*

I know he's my best friend, but fuck does he get in the way sometimes, no matter how short he is. The moment was perfect, perfect simplicity and beauty and he just had to come and ruin it for me. He must know I like her?! But then again.... Do I love her? It's only been a week, but still she's stolen my heart, more like I've just handed it to her on a huge fucking plate. It took so much pain and courage to get to that moment and it was ruined. I may not have another chance at it. I decided after a good ten minutes if just battling my thoughts, that I would go and talk to Frank. I can't stay mad at him. I follow the hallway to my little music room that I had set up for us as we would actually like to start a band, maybe get a new life. All we needed was a singer, but we don't have that good a friends or the courage to go out and find someone. So now every now and then, one of us will go in to tune or play around with a few chords. I open up the door and see a silhouette of my tiny best friend. I smile to myself and sit down next to him and Pansy.
"Hey Frankie." I manage to get out.
"Hey Gee, whatsa troubling you my friend? You seem pretty damn stressed." He acknowledged. "Yeah, about that, I kinda need to talk to you about something.
It's a little personal."
"Well sure thing bud, spill the beans"
"Well...." I stuttered. Great, now I'm picking up habits of Crystal. Fantastic.
"I-I think I like Crystal...." I explained.
"I don't know how, and please don't give me those eyes of shock, but something keeps standing out about her. I really don't know and I thought I could come to you for advice." I felt relieved that at least someone knew now, but if only she knew.
"Well, Gerard, what you're experiencing, for the first time, is what girls call 'love at first sight' bud, I know you've been head over fucking heels for her since she passed out a couple of weeks ago. I would say, wait a little bit, because you want to get to know her right?" He asked. I nodded in reply.
"Well then, you will ask this girl out at some point, but let it sink in that she feels the same way, I don't want you to be rejected my friend. But honestly, if I didn't know you liked her, I'd be in there in a flash!" Frank added while nudging me in the side. I laughed at him and gave him a hug.
"Thank you little man! I owe you big time."
"I will take that favour actually."
"Anything you want, I'm at your service."
"STOP FUCKING CALLING ME LITTLE!" He teased as he kicked me out, explaining that he had a surprise to organise for everyone.

*Crystal's P.O.V*

Gerard hasn't been back for a while. I know he's okay, but I really need to talk to him. But every time I do want to talk to him, my anxiety plays up again and I won't be able to talk to him for hours. I feel like a fucking shitty schoolgirl, head over heals in 'love'. But do I love him? What exactly does love feel like? I thought it meant that you would do anything, be anything for the one you cherish the most. But I don't know if I feel that way. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I sit awkwardly on the sofa as Ray writes in his little book of his and Mikey sits on the other side of the room on his phone. It's so funny to watch him, not in a creepy way, but he just has hardly any expression for anything, as if he has no emotion. I know he adores Gerard with all his heart, in all ways brotherly, but he seems to be avoiding me like the plage. Maybe he feels as if I'm stealing Gerard from him, which is ridiculous. I just want the best for everyone here, they practically saved my life, all of them. I get up off the leather sofa, averting my eyes from Mikeys poker face as he reads something on his phone, and go the the kitchen. I get all the cups out and make a bulk load of coffee, hopefully to liven everyone's spirits up. I've never met a group of people so crazy for coffee, it's great, as I have always had a fetish for a good cup of coffee, but also weird at the same time. Nearly every conversation starts with 'let's make coffee' or 'we will talk this over a cup of coffee'.
After a few minutes of brewing, I carry out Ray and Mikeys cups of coffee and lay them in front of them.
"Oh thanks Crystal! We already have you well trained!" said Ray with a wink. I laughed and walked over to Mikey. I pulled his coaster over and placed the steamy mug on it. Mikey didn't say anything, but gave me a tiny smile of approval in return.
After sitting in near enough silence for ten minutes, I hear Frank shouting and shooing Gerard out of the door. Gerard was hysterical as he came over towards us. His coffee was waiting on the table in front of me. Hopefully he would get the message that I want to talk to him. Instead, he just walked over, picked up the coffee while throughly examining it, finally acknowledging that I myself had made it, blushed and walked to his chair opposite me. For fuck sake, first, he won't leave me alone, now he won't acknowledge my fucking existence. Fuck it. I finish my coffee, put it down on the kitchen counter, wave goodbye to Ray and walk to the door, opening it and slamming it shut. Cold air hit me immediately and started to regret leaving, but I couldn't handle being around that guy anymore. I pulled my jacket closer, lifted my hood over my head and headed in the direction of my house.

*Gerard's P.O.V*

I've fucked it up again. Crystal just stormed out, probably because of me. I needed to avoid her so that I didn't make things even worse than what they already are. It just feels awkward for me. Ray got up and looked out the window hurriedly, probably to try and catch Crystal to get an explanation, but she must've gone as he had now turned around and is looking at me quite sternly.
"Don't you dare mess with her Gerard, I know what's going on. And to be honest, I don't care that you like her, but you know she has problems, and a bad history, and you fucking around with her emotions isnt helping in the slightest."
"I like her Ray! I probably love her as well! I havent felt this way in a long time and I want it to work, but you know me, I'll mess it up like usual." I cry to him. I'm not the one for showing my emotions but this was too far. My only friends I've ever had are challenging me.
"Gerard, you're like the brother I always wanted, I want the best for you and I think you two would do good to each other. But get to the point Gee man, I want you to be happy, and Crystal also, she's an incredible woman and you both deserve each other." This I why I love Ray. He's always been there for Mikey and I. My poor Mikey, I didn't know what to do for him when we were in our early teen years. We loved mom and dad, but then everything changed. Dad started drinking a lot more and mom always stood by him more than us. He started beating Mikey and I until one day, Mikey was seriously hurt and ran away, after that day, we both just ran from our past. One day, we stumbled across Ray in the streets and took us in like he was our father, or the older brother we never had. I was useless with Mikey, but Ray pulled him through, through all the depression and bullying. I owe Ray everything for that. I embraced Ray tightly and he hugged me back.
"I'll do what you think is best. You know everything Fro!"
"Of course I do! I'm Ray Fucking Toro!" he laughed. I said I would text Crystal later and retreated to my room for the night. I need to fix this.

Notes