Addiction and Her Name

“We don’t need no education.” Pink Floyd was playing over the store speakers and Thelma was singing along to every word where she sat on the counter reading Lord of the Flies. Reading wasn’t exactly the right word, though, since she seemed to be reading a page and skipping a few, then reading a page and skipping a few.

“If you don’t like it, no one has a gun to your head,” I told her, finishing pricing the last book that came with the new inventory.

Her eyebrows shot up and she looked at me a little dumbfounded. “Hey, Teacher leave them kids alone… But I want to read it,” she said in between singing.

“Lord of the Flies is her favorite book,” Mikey informed me. “She’s read it like fifty times.”

I didn’t get it. Why was she flipping through the pages then? “You probably know exactly what happens when and where.”

“Word for word.” She said absentmindedly. “You’re just another brick in the wall.”

I gave Mikey a look to which he stuck his tongue out in response. “You’re like the female version of my brother.” I commented, picking up the box of books and carrying it over to the shelf to start unpacking.

“Gerard already gave us his blessing,” Mikey said with a smile. “He thinks we’re meant for each other.”

His girlfriend shrugged. “If you’re willing to put up with my snoring then sure, I’ll marry you.”

I made another face, but this time with my back turned to them. I heard Thelma groan, slamming the book shut and putting it down on the counter next to her before hopping off of it.

“I hate this song,” she stated, walking over to the radio and changing the music.

“Are you serious? You just sang along word for word with the song.” I didn’t understand.

“My brother is a huge Pink Floyd fan. By the way, the song is highly overrated,” she told me as a matter of fact. “Just like Thunderstruck. My other brother is a huge ACDC fan.” She smiled. “Don’t worry, I got my own back. When will they ever stop? This doomsday clock ticking in my heart.” She smiled, singing what I assumed was her favorite Smashing Pumpkins song. She actually had a good voice. Her singing wasn’t bad at all.

“Mikey loves Spaceboy.”

“I do not!” he exclaimed wide-eyed.

“You do too,” I told him pointedly. “And We only come out at night. He drove me nuts with that song, because ever since he heard it, he got it into his head that it was our theme song and ever since then he never stopped listening to it.”

My brother’s girlfriend laughed. “A theme song? That’s cute.” Mikey glared at me, guess I embarrassed him. “I can actually see his point, him being such a vampire and all.”

“My brother is ten times worse.” It was Mikey’s turn to comment. “Up all night, asleep all day. You can tell just by looking at him that he doesn’t see much sun.”

“Let’s turn your hair black. I bet twenty bucks you’re the same shade of white I am. Anyways, do you two want coffee? I’m dying for some Starbucks.” I walked over to the counter and grabbed my jacket from the chair.

“You know what I like.” Mikey handed me some money, but I shook my head at him, declining it. He’d gotten me this job after all. A cup of coffee was the least I could do.

Thelma smiled at me. “I would love some iced sweet tea and in return I’ll unpack the books.”

“It’s a deal.” I put on my jacket and headed out the door. Once I reached my destination, I had to wait in line for ten minutes before reaching the front.

“Gerard,” Kat smiled seeing me. “How are you? You don’t usually come in at this time.”

“Perks of the new job,” I responded with a smile of my own. “That must be the reason I’ve never seen the place so busy.”

“You tend to have the luck of just missing rush hour. So what can I get you?” She was already grabbing cups and caps and walking over to the coffee machine.

“Two regular coffees and one iced sweet tea.” I leaned on the counter on my forearms watching her work.

“So, what, are you the coffee boy now?”

I chuckled. “No, my brother’s girlfriend is at the store and I figured I would give them some space.”

“I’m not sure how much that would help seeing as your brother is at work and people can walk in at any second,” she commented, done with the coffees and moving on to making the tea.

“The conversation was getting a little too serious and this was a good escape,” I confessed. “They were talking about marriage.”

“Does someone have commitment issues?” Kat put my order down in front of me and grabbed a few sugar sachets and napkins to add to it.

I dug out my wallet and pulled out some money to pay her. “No, but I don’t want to think about my little brother getting married. He’s too young to take the leap yet.”

“How old is he?”

“Twenty one in September.” Only then did I realize what I had said. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she assured me. I watched her face for any signs to the contrary, but she seemed okay. She was definitely better than the last time I had seen her. My eye flicked down to her hand which was still wrapped in bandages.

“How are you?” I asked seriously. Hopefully the fact that I was referring to her emotional state was implicit enough.

“I’m okay.” She said without blinking. That’s when I noticed the glitter right beneath her left eye.

“You have some glitter right there.” I pointed to the place.

“Where?” She reached up and wiped under her eye, but it made no difference.

“A little more to the left.” I wasn’t going to touch her. I was resolved to not put myself in situations where I couldn’t control myself anymore. It was time to get over this thing, whatever it was. For my sake and for hers.

She finally got it and giggled. “It’s crazy. I went out last night. I don’t remember a thing, but when I woke up this morning I was on the floor covered in glitter.”

My jaw clenched in frustration. She was derailing. Fast. I couldn’t help her.

“Thank you for the coffee.” I said stiffly, taking the cup holder and walking to the side where Ray was standing.

“Hey, Ray how are you?” I needed to play my cards right. Either way, he was going to lose his mind.

“I am good thank you.” He eyed me suspiciously. He definitely knew me too well, already knowing that I wanted something.

“Okay, fine. I have a huge favor to ask you,” I blurted out my reason for being there.

“Shoot.”

I took a deep breath, because I knew Ray would freak out at my next question. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a choice. “Can you lend me some money?”

“What for?” he wanted to know. The expression on his face was slowly but surely darkening with each passing second.

“I owe Bert,” I answered vaguely.

He sighed, “How much?”

“Three hundred dollars,” I replied, looking away and nervously waiting for the inevitable explosion.

Ray winced, “Shit, Gerard, what did you need three hundred dollars for?”

“It doesn’t matter. Can you lend me the money please? I’ve owed him for a couple of weeks now.” I was defensive all of a sudden. I didn’t want to admit the real reason I owed Bert money. No one needed to know that I had a breakdown over Kat’s reconciliation with her husband and my feeling of abandonment.

“I’m sorry, Gerard, but I can’t,” he stated. He shut his eyes looking slightly pained. They snapped open again and he looked at me seriously. “First of all, I don’t have the money and besides that, even if I did, I wouldn’t give it to you, because I’m not going to encourage your addictions.”

“Please, it’s not for me. I have to pay Bert back sooner or later otherwise he’ll never help me out again,” I said.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not going to pay for your drugs,” he insisted.

“It’s not for drugs!” I retorted, feeling the anger start to boil inside of me.

“How can I believe you?”

“You can test me tomorrow,” I replied sarcastically. “I swear I’m not going to buy drugs with it.” Because I had already used the drugs.

Ray shook his head. The next customer in line pushed past me to the front and I stood back.

“Gee,” I heard Kat’s voice and I turned to look at her. “I can get you the money.”

I hesitated. Even though I was desperate, I didn’t want to take her money. “It’s okay. I’ll get it somewhere else.” I nearly forgot the beverages I had ordered before storming off. So much for Ray being my so-called friend.

*

I nervously approached the bar later that night. Bert was not going to be happy with me. Ever since he found out that he’s going to be a father, he’s been pushing me for the money and I didn’t blame him. It was a lot of money for someone who didn’t have a lot. Bert was still paying all of his band’s expenses out of his own pocket. He didn’t exactly have wads of cash to throw around and now with a kid on the way and him taking responsibility… things were going to get rough. I simply didn’t have the money to pay him back yet.

“Gee!”

I turned to see Kat approaching me and frowned, because I hadn’t expected to see her there. I thought for sure she’d be off partying again at some club where she can get covered in glitter again. I couldn’t believe how much that irked me. I didn’t understand it.

“Don’t look so surprised. I told you I would bring the money.” She stopped in front of me and held some money out to me. I looked down at it uncomprehendingly.

“Take it,” she insisted, shoving it into my hand. “Dana is still in the trying-to-fix-us stage. He’ll pretty much do anything I ask. Well,” she stopped talking and thought about it for a moment. “That’s not entirely true, but when I told him that I wanted to go to a spa and hopefully strengthen my resolve to get back on the straight and narrow, he didn’t hesitate. Which means that drinks are on me.” She finished with a smile. She lied to her husband in order to help me. It wasn’t the first time, but this was the first time my mind actually registered that.

“I don’t know.” I was still hesitant.

“Look, Gerard it’s fine. Really. You seem desperate and Dana can afford it. I understand.”

She didn’t. “I’m not going to buy drugs with this. Bert helped me out with some a while ago, though and I owe him. That’s what the money is for.” I gratefully accepted the cash and made up my mind about something. “Everyone’s inside. Do you want to come…and meet them all?”

Kat didn’t hesitate before agreeing to follow me inside.There was a loud reception when we got inside and we were welcomed with broad grins.

“It’s about time he introduced you to us,” Bert stated.

“Yeah, this is Katherine.” I noticed her giving me a strange look, probably because I had never introduced her to anyone by her real name.

“Pleasure to meet the girl who stole my best friend’s heart,” he grinned, shaking her hand.

“That’s enough,” I muttered embarrassed and uncomfortable since he wouldn’t let go of her hand. “I brought you your money.” That got his attention.

“Finally,” Bert joked, rolling his eyes. “Can you believe how long I had to wait for this guy to pay me back? Don’t ever give him anything unless it’s payment at hand.”

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up and just be thankful that I paid you back eventually,” I said, pulling out the money and giving it to him.

“Of course! I’ll buy you both a drink.” I was surprised by how cool he was being. I thought for sure he would have some snide remarks upon meeting Kat considering the last conversation we had had concerning her.

Kat seemed a little reluctant to agree, but did nonetheless. I introduced her to Joe and Quinn and some other guys who sat at the bar. She seemed to get along with Joe. Aside from Shawn, he was the nicest person there.

“Where’s Shawn?” I asked, because normally he’d be there by now.

Joe shrugged, “Haven’t seen him. He’s actually been MIA for a day or two.”

“Maybe he’s also got him a pretty girl,” Bert gave his opinion.

“Are you already drunk?” I wondered.

He grinned at me, “It’s only nine thirty. Of course I’m not drunk yet.”

“Ah.”

“I’ll be right back,” Kat excused herself, heading for the ladies room.

“She really is pretty, Gerard. You’re lucky.” Bert told me sincerely.

“She’s married.”

“Fuck. Well, now the next round is definitely on me. You need it.” He called the barman over and ordered a bunch of shots.

A few minutes later, after we had each already done several shots, my phone rang and I immediately answered it. I almost hadn’t heard it ringing over the bar noises.

“Hello, is this Mr. Gerard Way?” The woman at the other end asked.

“Yes,” I said, slightly frowning. “Who is this?”

“This is Queens Hospital Center. We’re calling about a Mr. Shawn Grey.”

“What about him?” I wanted to know.

“Sir, Mr. Grey was in a terrible accident two hours ago. His documents showed that we should call you if anything happened to him,” she informed me.

“Is he okay?” I asked worriedly.

“I’m sorry, Sir. He died on impact.”

I nearly dropped my phone. Kat returned from the bathroom at that point and must have noticed my face, because she looked at me worriedly.

“What’s wrong?” she mouthed.

“Uhm…” I swallowed. “Is he there? I mean… Uhm…”

“Sir, if you’ll please come to the hospital we’ll give you all the details and information you need. You have to sign some papers too.”

“Thank you. I’ll be there soon.”

“Gee, what’s wrong?” Kat asked as soon as I’d hung up.

“It was the hospital. Shawn was in a car accident,” I said absentmindedly.

“What?” I heard Joe ask shocked.

“He didn’t make it.” I choked out, feeling my chest constrict.

“Oh, Gerard.” Kat’s voice was sympathetic as she hugged me tightly.

I couldn’t believe it. Shawn had been one of my best friends and now he was gone.

“I’ll come to the hospital with you,” Kat offered, seeming to know the procedure.

“Thanks.”

“Keep us informed,” Bert requested.

I nodded. Kat and I then fought our way out of the bar and caught a cab to the hospital.

Notes

That took me a lifetime. Sorry...
I had exams and then vacation and then my dissertation. It's crazy, but I'm alive. For now...
I was just thinking, the story has about 10 chapters left at most which means that a lot is going to happen from here on out. After this chapter, though. For now we still need the turning point. Dun-dun-dun-dun...
The next chapter is already done too, so I'll probably post that one in about two weeks or so. It was actually finished before this one xP
Let me know what you think!
xoxo