Gerard's POV

I walked up to the dark wood door and rang the bell. The last thing I had expected while lying on the couch with a beer that afternoon was Kat calling me and inviting me over. It was not a good idea in my opinion, but she had assured me that Dana was out of town on some or other business trip and wouldn’t be back until I was gone. So there I was, waiting for her to answer the door. She couldn’t believe that I needed an address for her place, but I had only been to her house two times before and I know for a fact I had been drunk at least one of those times.

What I hadn’t expected either was the sight that greeted me when I opened the door, after not receiving an answer. Kat was dancing around the living room. I could see the scuff marks of her black polished boots on the previously perfectly white tiles. She was singing along to the radio loudly and more than a little off key.

“Gee!” She ran over and planted a big kiss on my cheek. “I thought for a minute there that you were going to leave me to party on my own.”

“And leave you to your own mercy?” I chuckled, staring at the excited girl with wide eyes.

“Drink?” She held half a bottle of Jack out to me. “It’s good,” she nodded, smiling, practically pushing the bottle in my face. I took it from her and carefully took a sip to appease her. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but she was out of character. Whatever was going on with her wasn’t good.

“What do you think of my house? It’s nice, isn’t it? Dana’s parents bought it for us.” She took a large swig from the bottle. “They’re great people. Too bad their son kind of sucks.” She let out a short breath and shook her head, before drinking down another gulp of alcohol.

I looked around, taking in my surroundings. It was nice. It wasn’t anything fancy. The living room was spacious and unless Dana had a feminine side, Kat had done the decorating, judging by the photos standing around, the flowers on the side table and a few other pieces of modern art up on the walls.

“Look at this.” Kat suddenly jumped on the coffee table and did what I guessed was a pirouette. Somewhere along the line she had lit a cigarette and was now holding it high as she showed off the ballet moves I didn’t know she had. When she was finished, she hopped back down, dropping her cigarette on the floor in the process. “Oops!” She giggled, bending down to pick it up. “Dance with me!” The raven-haired beauty exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pulling me closer. Her moves didn’t fit Michael Jackson’s Black or White, but who was I to judge. She twirled and jumped and swayed.

“What are you on?” I asked annoyed, because she was acting completely crazy.

She rolled her eyes, bringing the bottle of whisky to her lips. She took a long swig before saying what she was thinking. “What does it even matter? I don’t feel anything and that’s the whole point.”

I was at a loss for words. She was supposed to be getting better. “What about everything you said yesterday? I thought you were going to stay strong and get clean. That was the plan, wasn’t it or am I wrong?”

“It was.” She shut her eyes and sighed. “I was home and alone and I… I got restless and I don’t know what happened.” She had a hard time explaining herself and I wasn’t sure whether it was due to a feeling of guilt or because of the substances in her body. “I got pregnant at eighteen.” Out of nowhere tears were streaming down her face. “I was married at nineteen, abandoned by my parents in that. I had a miscarriage and had to take care of myself.” As soon as the tears had started, they stopped again and made way for anger. “I had to grow up too fast. I think I deserve to act like a child for once in my fucking life!” She dropped down on the couch looking lost. It reminded me of the first time I had seen her. “I made a mistake and I’m never going to stop suffering for it.”

She stood up again and walked over to the little side table a few feet away.

“You should stop. You’re better than this,” I told her. It killed me to see her like that. She was stronger than this. I simply needed to remind her of that. I watched her pick up another bottle of pills.

“Seriously, you are going to preach to me? You are a mess of a person and I’m not sure anyone can change that. It’s not your place to tell me what to do. What do you know?” Her words stung, but I tried to focus on the fact that she wasn’t in her right mind. She popped the cap off the bottle.

“I think you’re done.” I reached for the pills before she could take anymore. She pulled back, keeping them out of my reach.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“You’ve had enough, Kat,” I said firmly. “Look at you.”

“I’m fine!”

There was no point in arguing with her. She was in no way in the right state of mind for a reasonable conversation. I made another grab for the bottle. She pulled back, falling over in her condition and crashing into the glass flower bowl.

“Now look what you did!” She shouted angrily. “Is ruining your own life not enough? You have to destroy everything around you as well??”

I ignored her outburst, because I couldn’t take my eyes off of her bloody hand. “Shit, are you alright?” I rushed over to ascertain the damage.

“Just stop, okay! You’ve done enough.” She was livid, then again, she has been since we started talking. Maybe she suddenly turned into an aggressive drunk.

I took a hold of her arm and pulled her injured hand closer to inspect it. There were shards of glass stuck in her hand. I looked over at the shattered bowl, half of it on the ground, some on the table and the rest in her hand and wrist.

“We need to get you to the hospital.”

“No way.” She pulled away and turned her back on me.

“Kat. If you don’t, it could get infected and that is a lot of blood. It could be serious.”

“Look at me!” she yelled upset, cradling her injured hand in the other. “I’m a mess. If I go to a hospital, they’ll have me tested or at the very least ask questions. I’m so far gone, I’ll definitely be locked up.”

I stepped over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders. “You’ll be fine. Brush your teeth. Put on some perfume and just don’t say anything when we get there, okay? We have to go.”

“The car keys are over there.” She pointed to a bowl by the door.

Thirty minutes later we were at the hospital and the nurse was asking us a dozen questions about what happened. Kat was in no condition to answer any of them, because she was under the influence of something or a lot of things really and also because she’s lost quite a bit of blood. By now she was somewhat pale.

“It was an accident,” she kept repeating in response to every question.

The nurse looked at her suspiciously. “What kind of accident? What exactly happened?”

“I fell and landed with my hand on a glass flower bowl.”

“You just randomly fell?”

“Excuse me,” I said as politely as I could. “Uhm, it’s kind of embarrassing to admit so you have to please excuse my wife.” The lies naturally started spilling from my mouth. If this went south they might test her and then there would be trouble, maybe even for both of us. “We were being kind of kinky and running around the house and, you know, these things happen.” I smiled at her and wiggled my eyebrows suggestively to emphasize what I was implying. The nurse’s cheeks became rosy.

“Of course. I’ll check with Doctor Morris and then we’ll get you patched up.” She looked uncomfortable before hurrying off to find Doctor Morris. By now Kat was sitting down and looking even paler than before.

“Are you okay?” I asked a little worriedly, sitting down next to her and looking at her in concern.

She made somewhat of a face and then half of a wry smile. “Apparently I’m your wife.” I guess the thought of that was very appalling to her. I sat back in my chair and stared ahead of me. The hospital was busy, though not overly crowded. Nurses we’re helping sick or injured people to their rooms, doctors were moving back and forth between patients. I still hated hospitals. They felt too synonymous with death.

“Mrs. Leone?” The nurse was back and looking fully composed again. “Please follow me.”

“I’ll wait out here,” I told them. They might pull out needles or something and I was better without all of that. Besides, another smarting comment from my friend won’t do me any good. The second they were gone, I decided to go outside and smoke a cigarette. The hospital made me edgy, especially since this was at least my third time at one in the last couple of months. My visits were becoming way too frequent. At least no one’s died yet. I shivered despite the relatively warm temperature.

I felt better after the first drag on my cigarette and increasingly better following every drag after that. What a mess. I was in love with a woman I could never have. I was alienating the people around me. I disappointed my family and all for what? A few drinks every day? For something that made me feel even more terrible every time? It was for the few blissful moments after every pill I took, that numb feeling, not having a care in the world. The alcohol was simply an extra, a bad habit that I couldn’t shake. I sat down on the dirty sidewalk with my feet in the road, it was more of a parking. I lit another cigarette and allowed the negative thoughts to keep taunting me. Was this what the rest of my life was going to be like? I was going to fucking die alone, I knew it.

“There you are.” I looked up to see Kat standing over me.

I scrambled to my feet and dusted off my pants with one hand, the other still holding an unfinished cigarette, one I’ve barely touched, but which has practically burnt all the way to my fingers. “That was quick.”

“It was thirty minutes.” She clarified. Damn, have I been out here that long?

“Oh, home then?” She nodded in response and started to walk in the direction of the subway station.

We were quiet until we were on the train. Kat at some point leaned her head against my shoulder.

“It’s ironic,” she said quietly. “When I’m sober, I’m taking care of your intoxicated self. Now that I’m intoxicated and you’re the sober one, you’re taking care of me. Thank you.” She let out a slow breath.

“I’m not sober,” I admitted awkwardly. It was the truth. I’ve been drinking all day, considering I didn’t have anything else to do. I only started my new job at the bookstore the next day. She lifted her head slightly to look at me surprised before lying down across my lap.

“I’m so tired.” She sighed and closed her eyes.

I smiled, letting my hand come up and stroke her hair. “It must be the painkillers or something that the doctor gave you. You should try to stay awake a little longer. We’re almost back and then you can go to sleep in your bed at home, where it’s nice and warm and safe. Just keep talking to me.”

“What do you want me to say?”

I shrugged. “Anything. What’s on your mind?”

Her eyes fluttered open again. “I miss my sister.”

I started. “I wasn’t aware that you had a sister.”

“The topic never came up, but I do. Her name is Grace and she wears the name well.” She seemed almost nostalgic saying this. She shifted. “She’s six years older than I am. She’s a lawyer, at least she should be by now, because that’s what she was studying for the last time we talked. You’d think because of our age difference that we might have a hard time getting along, but we never had that problem. Grace is the greatest person I’ve ever known. Either way, we were completely different people. She was the smart and mature one while I’ve always been a bit of a spoiled brat. Being the youngest of a rich family will have that effect. I mean, Grace always wanted to work for everything she wanted. Sure, my parents paid for everything she got, but she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life living off a trust fund. Granted, neither did I, but you understand what I’m saying, right? She had a lot more ambition than I was lucky to be born with. She doesn’t need someone to complete her life whereas I’ve always been scared of being alone, ever since I can remember.” She admitted. Aside from her telling me her life story before, this was the most honest she’s ever been. Kat wasn’t telling me a story, she was showing me a bit of what was going on in her head and in her heart.

“When was the last time you spoke to her?”

She shrugged and shook her head. “I don’t know. It was before things became completely messed up. She couldn’t be at my wedding and I think we talked once after that and then just nothing. I don’t even know why we stopped talking. I think I was the one who cut her out, kind of like a self defense mechanism. I pushed her away before she could do it to me. I don’t think I could’ve taken it if my parents could convince her to abandon me too.”

“It sounds to me like you made a bad decision. If you and your sister were so close, do you honestly believe that she would’ve abandoned you?”

“Honestly, yes. There have been a lot of people in my life who I thought loved me and look how that turned out, I’m alone. People suck, but unfortunately we’re social creatures and we can’t live without one another.” She sighed deeply and sat up, because the train had arrived at our destination. She was definitely the most cynical person in the world.

I made sure Kat got home safely, walking her right up to her door.

“Thank you again for taking care of me. I know I acted like a crazy person earlier. I still don’t feel like myself. Do you mind making sure I actually make it to bed, because I feel a little frazzled?” I was surprised by her request, but followed her inside and upstairs to her bedroom where she didn’t even bother to turn the light on. Only the light from the hallway spilling through the door made it possible to see in the otherwise dark room.

“I feel dead.” The tired girl complained, dragging the bedcovers halfway down the bed before falling down on the bed. I walked over and pulled the covers up and over her. I wanted to lean down and kiss her forehead, but immediately stopped myself. She put her injured, but thoroughly bandaged hand above the cover probably in case it started to bleed again. “Good night, Gee,” she murmured, her eyes already shut and her breathing already deep and slow.

“Good night,” I whispered, leaving the room and pulling the door shut within an inch.

The house was silent as I headed back downstairs. When I reached the bottom, I decided to clean up the mess in the living room before leaving. Kat didn’t need her husband asking questions. There was a near empty liquor bottle, the pill containers and then there was also the shattered glass bowl all over the place. I put the cap back on the bottle and put it away in the fridge. I found a broom in the kitchen and set about cleaning the wrecked glass bowl and the scattered flowers. Once that was done I returned to take care of the pills. Instead of throwing them away, it seemed like a better idea to take them with me where Kat wouldn’t be able to get her hands on them again.

On my way out, my eyes fell on a picture, drawing me closer to it. It was a photo of Kat and her husband on their wedding day, both wearing the biggest possible smiles. It was a great picture and Kat looked beautiful. I have never seen her that happy before. The closest she’s ever been to being that happy was when she and her husband decided to reconcile their marriage, before she tried to get clean. That was the happiest I have ever seen her. All good things came to an end it seemed. Maybe they’ll be that happy again one day. I switched the lights off and pulled the front door shut before walking up the street in the direction of my own apartment.

Notes

Hellooo!
So, the chapter was a little longer than I expected, but still shorter as promised. Not a lot happens, but maybe it was time to tone it down a little? It should become a little less depressing sometime soon. That will depend on what these guys decide to do. They're always taking over the story and deciding what happens next all by themselves, forgetting that they are only the characters in it, a little creation in my dark and messed up mind.
Anyway, any thoughts?
xoxo