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The encounter

Gerard’s POV
I spent day and night writing music, I had already finished a few and everyone else was writing music as well. We liked to freestyle, and then take the sound from there.
I avoided hanging out with Frank as much as my poor body would allow. Yes, I was attracted to him in some way, but wasn’t gay. I was committed to Lyn-z and I wasn’t about to mess with that. I had it good with her. She was so out of this messed up no good kid’s league, it wasn’t funny.
I turned down ever offer he gave me to hang out, maybe because I said I was going to hang out with Lyn, which he wanted no part of, or I was busy with some vague specification as to what I’d be doing, or there was that rare occasion where I told the truth and I really couldn’t hang out. After I would turn him down, I had to go hang out with Lyn-z to remind myself I had a reason to avoid him.
Once rehearsals started, it made things really difficult to keep my distance. People were there so I guess it was ok.
When I entered the basement Frank was already there. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me, I missed him, and he missed me. He was a cool kid to hang out with, no question there. So even if I wasn’t gay, or bi, or whatever, It was ok to miss him. The question was, why was it my first instinct to pull him into my arms and say everything was going to be ok?

Frank’s POV
I know I kissed him, I know that was ‘weird’, I’m sorry that his presence along turned me on. I wasn’t about to break up with Jamie, I still loved her, I wasn’t going after Gerard, I was just trying to sort out these feelings. If he wasn’t going to hang out with me, wasn’t going to answer my phone calls, never answer my texts, and only see me with a large group of people, how was I going to figure out and get off of his back?
When he entered the room for the band practice my eyes betrayed me and grew sad, I had forgotten how beautiful he was, how confidently he walked, I forgot how perfect he was. We made eye contact. I could see it in his eyes, he was conflicted. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself where to look, when to smile, he was so awkward and it was extraordinarily sexy.

Gerard’s POV
As soon as I got there, I picked up the mic and we were ready to go. We warmed up on the skylines and turnstiles, and upon finishing I pulled out the newest song I had written. I hadn’t had a chance to see frank so everyone had a part written but him. I handed out the parts and we played for him he took the attic demo went upstairs with a CD player to write his part. I decided this was my chance to get some water.
As I went upstairs he sat at the kitchen table with a napkin and a sharpie, “ya know, if you refusing to see me is going to cause problems like this, them I am going to have an issue.” Frank’s eyes were serious as he stared down at the napkin.
“Look, Frank, I-” he cut me off.
“Just have the courtesty to give me a chance to write my music before the practice day, it’s awkward when everone’s waiting on me,” even though my back was turned to him I could hear the forgiving smile in his voice.
I turned around to face him, there he stood, his part finished, it had only been five minutes. As our eyes met so did his mouth with mine. The first kiss wasn’t enough to give me a real sense of what it felt like. He was obviously more experienced. His mouth tasted strongly of cigarettes. He pushed me back from my stance in the middle of the kitchen against the counter, where I was obviously hopelessly pinned. His mouth moved in sync with my heartbeat skipping every other beat. I didn’t understand what had brought this on, I stumbled putting my hands on the counter behind me trying to keep my balance.
He pulled away gasping for breathe; he didn’t look me in the eye, but at my lips. I stared back completely at a loss as to what I just did. I watched the look in his eyes morph from pleased with himself to grave concern. “W- Why’d you stop?” I missed the feeling of him against me already. I knew what I had done, but I wasn’t ready to let go of that moment. He moved his stare from my lips to my eyes. Frank shook his head and was out the door.
What was I going to say? I guess I’ll just say he wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t just my out with our rhythm guitar player, what are you talking about?
I sat down for just a moment I was feeling dizzy. All the thoughts bouncing around in my head made the room look like it was spinning.
The moment ran through my head over and over. Why had he done that? What inspired him to press up against me with such force and determination?
I finally stood and walked down stairs. They all waited, wondering I know they probably thought nothing of my reappearance other than wondering where Frank went. To me, it felt like their eyes were boring into my soul, questioning, accusing, I felt like there was no way to escape.
“F- frank left,” I muttered.
“Where’d shorty go?” Ray asked, Frank most definitely earned his diminutive status with his 5‘4” height.
“h- He wasn’t feeling good,” I started, “he puked.”
“Oh- Uh,” Mikey said, “Should we continue or…?”
“Ya- ya ya,” I nodded still kind of caught up in it all, “Continuing would be best. We continued to practice and my mind was not there. I know Mikey noticed but I’m not sure about the rest.

Frank’s POV
When Gerard came in, I couldn’t help but smile. As I said before, I missed him. When we got our music, I was left with none. He didn’t say some but I knew it was because he was avoiding me, everyone got to see him but me.
It pissed me off. They could practice while I was stuck without music, while Gerard acted selfish; in fact, I never even knew he had written any new music. The guys recorded what they had, I took the CD upstairs, listened to it over and over, the wrote my part on a napkin with a sharpie, Gerard cam upstairs to get a drink as he filled his drink. I said, “Ya know if you refusing to see me is going to cause problems like this, “I’m going to have a problem.” At first I was really pissed but when I looked up into his deep hazel eyes, I couldn’t hold the anger, I melted.
I had written my part in five minutes, and I stood behind him as he filled his glass, “look Frank I-” I cut him off, but when he turned around and I silenced him even more.
I pushed him against the counter. He didn’t even fight back, which was no fun, but I had the power, I had the experience, and he knew it. He must’ve been really excited because I could hear his heartbeat, and I made it apparent. I wanted that moment to last forever, but it couldn’t, because it hit me, someone would see, and I’d lose a girlfriend, and without a word, I left. I was gone, out the door.
I did not know what was going to happen, how it would happen, but I did know I had feelings for Gerard way.
From what I knew, this was not a good thing.

Gerard’s POV
Everyone went home after relentless hours of practice. I wasn’t focused and Mikey knew, “Gerard,” Mikey knocked before entering my room. He peeked his head in, “may I come in?”
“Well the job is halfway done don’t ya think?” I changed the webpage from Frank’s profile to my own. He changed his profile picture to one of him and I to him and Jamia. It seemed obvious to say it bothered me.
Mikey knew this hint of sarcasm mean he was welcome to enter my room. “Was everything ok tonight?” He asked stepping slowly in. My room was dark and cluttered; I brushed the messy hair from my eyes.
“Of course, what makes you think otherwise?” I asked not making eye contact. Mikey was one of the few people I could not lie to. He was my faithful, trustful, talented, extraordinary brother who deserved more than me for some scumbag brother.
“When you sung, you weren’t there. There was look in your eyes that you weren’t really there at all. Gerard,” I looked up at him, “did Frank really get sick?”
I shook my head, “Mikey, I’d rather not talk about it.” I knew any attempt at lying would be worthless.
“Well if you come around, let me know,” I would never be able tell Mikey, for I love my brother, but he has been becoming increasingly homophobic, and I know, for a fact, that would not end well.
“Mikey, please, just leave,” he gave me a questioning look. “We still have guitar player,” I promised.” That obviously put Mikey’s mind at ease, as he left the room leaving me to my thoughts.
It replayed over, and over, and over, again. I remember vividly, every time, the feeling of him touching his lips to mine, being pinned between Frank and the counter. How come every time I remembered this, I longed for more? Was I gay? No I wasn’t gay, but I couldn’t help but question. I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to, but yet again, I kind of did, that moment lingered on my lips far longer than any kiss with lyn-z.

Frank’s POV
I changed my twitter picture; I had to remind myself there was a reason why I’m with Jamie. I understand why Gerard kept his distance now. I now understood the conflicted misery I must have put him through. I cam to doubt everything I knew about myself. I didn’t know what Gereard’s next move was but I knew I had to take a walk. I had to walk some of this stress out of my system. So I left my mom’s apartment, and walked, and continued to walk. I didn’t know where my feet would take me, all I knew is that it was up to them and an extremely subconscious effort. I found myself buying tickets to go on the ferry across the water to lower Manhattan. What was I expecting to find there? I don’t know. It had been a week and a half since I had kissed Gerard, I was afraid to see him, afraid to think of him, afraid I would do some magic thing to fuck this up like I always manage to.
It was the beginning of second semester so the counseling office was accepting schedule changes. I was going to get switched out of that math class, into honors math. I was good at math, even though I never showed anyone. You see, if you clack off your whole life. No one knows what you’re capable of. Therefore nor forcing you to do anything more than the bear minimum. So I really was good at math, I just didn’t try. Worse case scenario, if I change my mind I can start failing and switch back. In all the mayhem I hadn’t noticed I left my other glove at Gerard’s house. My gloves were fingerless, black with skeleton fingers up to where the fingers cut off.
As I stood on the boat I stared into space where I stood on the deck.
Gerard’s POV
I had been sitting in my room for too long, it made me sick. I needed to get out of this house, away from suspecting Mikey. I saw Frank’s glove on the kitchen table when I went downstairs, I put it on my own hand and went out the door. I wasn’t in search of anything specific. I just needed to move, travel.
My mind was absorbed back to 9/11 I wasn’t consciously thinking about where I would go, but when I came out of my trance, I was in front of the ferry ticket stand. So apparently lower Manhattan is where I wanted to go. I got on the Ferry and stood on the deck. I was alone, no one to bother me, leaving me to my thoughts, I closed my eyes standing at the front against the safety bar; I leant against it, and let the wind blow my hair.

Frank’s POV
I went from the back of the ship to the front, there he was. Gerard leaned against the bar from where I was I could hear him singing the new song, the one I wrote my part for last week. At any other time I would’ve been more than excited to see him, but now, I was confused, and upset, my poor heart couldn’t handle his presence.
I wanted to leave but for just a moment, I listened, the passion he put into his voice, was inspiring. He stopped, and took a drink of his beer. This was my chance to dip out. Decision made I was gone.
When the ship docked I walked off, I walked and I walked some more. I got some pizza, and smoked a cigarette. When I stopped walking, I was infront of the biggest venue in New York City.

Gerard’s POV
I took a drink of my beer, then a drag off my cigarette, when I turned around I watched Frank’s black mop of hair walk in the other direction. Why was he leaving? He had been so desperate to see me before the incident, and now, for the last week and a half, I’d heard nothing from him at all. The distance was weird, and it almost bothered me. When had he got there I wondered If he had followed me.
The ship docked, and as I got off the boat I kept my eye out for Frank. When I saw him, our eyes met. He turned away in the opposite direction almost instantly. His eyes looked sad and thoughtful.
I walked letting my body go where I pleased on my journey I bought three more beers, and popped two pills from my pocket. Once I though about it, I knew where I was going, it was the biggest venue in New York City.

Frank’s POV
I stood there, staring up at the entrance, the place was huge. If I went in I was sure to get in trouble. In all this mayhem that was the last thing I needed. I heard foot steps and the scrap of the heel of boots on the ground. I looked to my left and there he was. “Fuck,” I said under my breath. Had he followed me hear?
He took his spot next to me,” you saw me on the boat,” Gerard smirked. “And you still avoided me. I guess it’s my turn to feel abandoned,” Gerard chuckled, I hummed quietly in response. “Think about it Frank, we could be playing here one day, for a full house.”
Gerard’s nonchalant attitude made me want to hit him, and attack his face with my mouth at the same time. “Did you follow me?” I asked as soon as the question escaped my lips, I realized the idiocy behind it. Gerard and I went in completely opposite directions to avoid this encounter.
When I met his gaze he didn’t say anything, he knew I had just answered my own question.
“Do you want your glove back?” he offered it to me as he pulled it off.
I silently shook my head declining the offer as he put the glove back onto his strong hand. No matter what I decided whether I would run from the situation, I’ve found myself in or embracing it, I wanted him to have a part of me.
“Frank,” Gerard’s voice was questioning, “aren’t you supposed to be the talkative one?”
I just looked at him, eyes solemn, was I not aloud to have a chance to thing? Could I not have the silence to myself for just a moment? Although, I guess I’ve had that for the past week and a half. I won’t say I enjoyed it.
“Are you ok?” I watched Gerard’s face become worried.
“I looked at the ground, kicked it with the toed of my converse.
“Frank, Frankie,” Gerard put his hand on my shoulders softly, “Frankenstein,
he whispered.
Gerard had never called me that before, my birthday feel on Halloween, the best birthday ever.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, a tear feel from my eye.

Gerard’s POV
When I walked up to the venue Frank had his hands in his pockets looking up to the brightly lit sign. It was dark, and you could hear the band warming up for the show inside. I didn’t recognize the name, but the tickets we sold out, so they must’ve been big.
Frank wasn’t being sociable this evening, unlike the norm. When I offered his glove back, you could watch his mood, and his thoughts go down like a man on a ski slope.
What was going on in his head? I’d never seen the kid so low. I tried talking about the future of the band, of our goals. Mine was to play at this specific venue. When he started kicking the ground I needed to get his attention. “Frank?” I put my hands on his shoulder, and brushed them gently with my fingertips, “Frankie,” I sighed, “Frankenstein.” This new nickname managed to get his attention. He looked up at me.
“I’m sorry,” Frank whispered, tears gracefully slid down his cheeks.
“What for?” I whispered.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” Frank wiped the tear disregarding his eyeliner, “Either time.”
“Frank,” I dropped my arms to my side, it hurt me that he was sorry, I didn’t want him to be. I wanted him to kiss me again, right then and there.
“No!” he yelled then turned to me, “I fucked everything up! Things were perfect, perfect! And now, we have to choose, we’ve both cheated on our girlfriend. We’re both keeping huge secrets. Gerard I might just explode! The tears fell down his cheeks like waterfalls.
I had never been closer to Frank. I wanted to take him into my arms and whisper that everything would be ok. So I did at least I tried. I put my arms around him and pulled him in. I could feel him shaking against me as I kissed the top of his head. “It’s going to be ok, just fine, what happens happ-”
“Gerard just stop!” He pushed me away, who knew one little action could hurt so much. Before I could blink twice, Frank was gone. I could feel my heart sink. I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to hold him kiss him, but he was gone.

Frank’s POV
I ran, I couldn’t see where I was going, for the tears were blurring my vision. I could feel Gerard’s grip loosen from me when I pushed him away. I could feel the disappointment as he dropped his hands to his sides, I couldn’t look back. I ran until I hit the dock. I stared into the water where the stars sparkled in the reflection.
I thought of Gerard, of him singing on the ferry. Of the sparkles in his eyes. Then, I thought of Jamia, her smile, her laugh. I didn’t know what to do. My parents didn’t know I was bi, and I don’t know if I wanted them to. Think about it this way, I could, very well, choose women, but I don’t know if I were to try being gay and not like it. I don’t know if I want to cause all this drama in my life to just change my mind and take it all back.
My family is made up of strict, religious people; I grew up in a catholic school. This is my third year in public school.
I couldn’t just abandon Jamia, but I couldn’t do that to Gerard, and then just leave him hanging. I wasn’t sorry for kissing him at all really; I loved it, and wanted more. I was sorry for confusing myself and probably even more so him, who hadn’t even question his sexuality.
I sat on the edge of the wooden boards, dangling my shoes over the edge. I took a cigarette out putting it in my mouth then lit it.
“Frankie?” I turned my head to fined Jamia. I smiled externally but internally I groaned. I didn’t need her next to me adding to the confusion. I dropped my cigarette in the water, knowing she hated when I smoked around her.
“Hey baby, I smiled patted the spot next to me motioning for her to sit down. She sat down next to me and swung her feet smiling.
“I’m so happy to see you,” Jamie smiled.
I put my arm around her shoulders and sighed, “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy with the band and all.”
“I know,” she sighed playing with my hand; she moved her eyes from one and to the other. “Frank?” Where’s your other glove?”
“Oh- I uh, left it at Gerard’s when we were practicing,” I didn’t lie to her.
“I see,” she kissed my cheek she was so happy to be here she may as well have glowed.
It made me cringe with guilt, when I turned my head to look at her she kissed me. Kissing her was different than kissing Gerard. Intensity grew, and I knew what she was thinking. A passionate kiss in the moonlight on the dock was so romantic. The truth was it wasn’t nearly so romantic if she knew I had cheated on her.
I know I’ve said it already but I was so torn. I loved her, or at least I thought I did. I’m not sure. I think she may or may not have noticed how much les enthusiastic I was than she, while making out, or whatever.
I did feel for her, but I wasn’t sure to what extent.


longest chapter yet woot woot! :D
comment | tnemmoc


I fucking love this so fucking much.
I love how you added real interviews, and real events, and dates,
and ugh, I just fucking love this so fucking much,
I spent my whole day reading this.
You made it sound like it is in fact what happened, if not somewhat close to what actually happen.
---sorry for the weridness, I just freaking love this.
MsCorrupterSOH MsCorrupterSOH
I just used up my entire day to read this entire story because its just so awesome :D
I really wish you could make a sequel (or maybe a short-story/epilogue type of thing?) I would love to see what happened with Lynz and Jamia. Oh, and also, I didn't get the ending. Are Gee and Frank together or not? Did they even get back together after trying to rebuild their friendship? Amazing story, I really loved the ending~
-xoxo Dani
@Hollow Point Smile
Thank you so much :3
jkjames jkjames

Haha :3 no worries! I love me some good mcr fics and this one is deffinaltey up there ^.^
@Hollow Point Smile
that was so fast. thank you so much! So many people are commenting that they like it and it's making me wanna leap off the computer and go hide away in my room and write. Thank you so much. I really hope I don't disapoint you and i really hope you keep reading! I'd love to hear more feedback from all these undercover fans! thank you so much.

@Hollow Point Smile
jkjames jkjames