Chapter 10
Gerard’s POV
I walked in the direction of the dock so I could get on the ferry to go home. Frank was on the dock with Jamia. Seeing him wither her, smiling, laughing, it may just have broke me. I walked away, I’d take the next ferry home. Riding with them would be too painful.
I’m not saying I loved Frank. I’m not saying I didn’t. I’m saying I wasn’t sure and I knew that his words hurt me. I didn’t want him to be sorry. I’ll admit I was confused, not to the point where I wanted him to stay so far away, I’d gotten past that. To say the least, we switched spots.
I went into a bar, not even given a second glance, I took a seat. Yes I was ordering a drink, I was aloud right? That’s what alcoholics do. Swim in their misery.
Before I ordered my drink, I took note of all the exits, all the tables, and all the things in the path to my exit. When I was drunk I would need to at least subconsciously have a path mapped out to get out of here. If I didn’t I might just die in the process. That night I drank and I drank, it was Friday night and I was 19 Grams wasn’t expecting me home, so I had no worried.
I found myself drinking my heart out. When I finished my bottle of vodka there was no hope for me. I very clumsily found my way to a chair away from the bar. After only a couple minutes, maybe longer, I found myself underneath some girl. The next moment I found her face colliding with mine.
Lyn-z was my first real girlfriend who didn’t just want to use me. I had made out with girls, but not really. I was never really interested in the topic, and I never really expected to be good at it, long story short, I was afraid to. Here I was under some slut, having my face eaten; it came to me so easily. I did what I knew to, I participated eagerly.

Frank’s POV
“Here comes the ferry,” Jamia whispered, her head on my shoulder.
“I’m going to stay out a little longer ok? I’ve got a lot on my mind and I think walking it off will help.”
“You want to talk about it?” We bother stood and Jamie played with my hand.
“No baby not tonight,” I kissed her and watched her board the ferry. Jamie was reluctant to leave me behind as always, but I convinced her to leave.
When I had texted Mikey to see if Gerard had made it home, he said no, he had to still be in Manhattan.
There was one thing I noticed about Gerard, there were a few things he always had, a beer and his pills. Gerard was obviously an alcoholic as Ray was a guitar player.
I had come down to Manhattan frequently as a kid, my dad would bring me to work with him at the recording studio.
On the way between the ferry and where Gerard and I had been standing, that was surely where he was. Jamia and I had been on the dock for nearly four hours since I left Gerard. He was bound to be hammered, completely gone.
I had to find Gee before he got himself hurt or did something he would regret. I ran to the bar, sure enough, when I looked in through the window, there he was, under some hooker.
I watched him, not really sure what to think myself, but when I saw him try to push her off, he was ineffective. With the alcohol in his system he was weaker, she obviously didn’t notice his efforts, and if she did, she didn’t care.
Once she went to unbutton his pants and whisper in his ear, I saw the look on his face, he wasn’t ready for this; Gerard wasn’t ready for hookers in a club.
I couldn’t watch this go on, I ran into the club, “Get off of him!” I shouted pushing past the bouncer. My voice couldn’t be heard over the booming base which shook the walls. I ran up as the girl in the skimpy dress crawled off of him and tried to take his hand. I took it before she got the chance. “Gerard let’s go home.”
I shoved past the bouncer as we left. Judging by his walk Gerard had more than his fair share of drinks. Gerard strayed and tripped forcing little tiny me to support him all the way home.
In reality, it wasn’t that long of a walk to the ferry. With Gerard hanging from me, it seemed much longer.
Finally, we walked on board, I sat Gerard down at a booth, went to get him some water, and a trash bin, knowing this would be a bumpy ride.
“Frankie? Do you think there’s a monster in the waters?” Gerard asked, he slurred his words so bad, he almost sounded like he was sleep talking.
“No Gee,” I sighed staring across the tabled, Gerard was a mess.
“Frankie,” Gerard searched for my eyes but he couldn’t find them as his eyes twitched around the room. He settled on focusing on me in general, “Why were you sorry?”
Bingo, that’s why he was drinking, the reason always comes out when you’re fried, but when you come down, you’ll do nothing but deny it. “I- I’m not sorry,” I sighed, I needed to figure out what I’d tell him, he wasn’t going to remember what I said then, but it was a good test, “Gerard, have you ever truly questioned your sexuality?” I didn’t notice his lack of response. “Let me tell you it sucks, and in your response to the second time I kissed you it looked like you were and I never would wis-” My process was interrupted by the sound of a barf hitting the bottom of a trashcan I sighed as I pushed a cup of water towards him.
The ferry docked and I supported Gerard the whole walk home. Gerard didn’t just puke on the ferry. By the time I got him to my house, he was a mess. Gerard was talking gibberish sort of in a melody the whole walk home, talking nonsense praising himself for things he did and talking about what he’d done that night.
“Gerard stay here,” I unlocked the door and stepped inside, I could hear my dad’s snores upstairs, we were safe.
As I walked Gerard in and lead him up the stairs, “Shit.” Gerard stubbed his toe.
“Frank?” My mom called from the kitchen, what the hell was she doing awake? My mom was always asleep before my dad. As we reached the top of the stairs, I rushed Gerard into my room, shut and locked the door, then ran back downstairs.
“Yeah mom?”
“Is someone here?” She wrapped her hands in a dish towel. She must’ve been cleaning like she does when she gets stressed. I knew she was worried about dad, he was gona all the time. It was more apparent when she realized how worried she was that he’d leave her.
“No mom,” I sighed running my hands through my hair, “just me.”
“Okay baby,” her eyes showed the suspicion her voice didn’t represent.
“You should go to bed, it’s getting late.” She dismissed me after standing there for a moment. That was her way of telling me she didn’t want me hanging around. Planning on drinking herself to sleep I’m sure.
I retreated to my room with nothing more than a subtle nod. When I opened my door Gerard was already in my bed with the picture of Jamia and I turned down on the nightstand.
I sighed as Gerard laid there passed out. I turned off my light and on my lamp so my mom wouldn’t see the light under the door. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep in his spoiled clothes, well I’m sure he could, but I know I wouldn’t want to. I sat him up in the corner, as I knelt in front of him, I gently hooked my finger under the hem of his shirt, I pulled it off of him revealing his bare torso. I touched his chest, he was beautiful, toned, and not too buff, in the dimmed light, I couldn’t see the muscle stand out from his skin, but I could trace it with my fingertips. My finger found its way around his abs as he slept. I put my hands on his shoulders and squeezed gently as I ran my hands down his chest spreading my fingers as I moved my hands, his skin was soft, gentle. I almost didn’t want to put the shirt back on him, but I did, I searched through my closet in an attempt to find something suitable. In the back, I found my old Misfit’s T-shirt, perfect. I pulled it over his head, and then laid him down.
I covered Gerard with an extra blanket as he mumbled, “L- Lyn,” he continued to make indecipherable noises, ending it with a “love Frankie,” I smiled as I touched his face gently. I smirked as I kissed his forehead then his nose. Then his lips Gerard looked so peaceful when he sleeps, then again who doesn’t?

Notes

so if you see Jamia typed as Jamie
MY APOLOGIES xD force of habbit i guess