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Gerard’s POV
After Frank’s outburst it really got me thinking about how I treated him, and about Lyn. Things hadn’t changed much since art school. I was still just as fucked up and just as lazy. I didn’t like the real world, it was all the same, no one’s more mature, and they all make you feel just as worthless.
I did want to change, I wanted to make him feel loved, I mean, that’s my job right? I don’t know why I’m no good at it, probably because I’m not good at anything.
Ever since Elena’s death about two months ago, Frank’s taken it as his jo to babysit me. I didn’t go back to my parents for a reason; I didn’t need this from him too. Things escaladed, if anything bad ever happened, I knew just what I’d do. Suicide was my escape route, it would be so easy, just like an off switch, it would all be over. No more pain, no more hurt, it was the end.
Every now and then I’d be sitting on the couch, not even feeling bad for myself, even I knew there was no real sorrow in my life, nothing worth all the shit I put myself through. I mean plenty of people had it worse than me, I knew that.
I have a guy waiting for me to get home every night, I had a band that was getting ready to record their second album, I had a family, sure not a biological one, but a family none the less. Frank, the trouble maker, Mikey, everyone’s kid brother, in a way he keeps us all from losing our mind, Ray, the quiet genius, Bob, the man with the plan, and then there’s me, nothing more than a face, I fake a smile and a voice. That’s all I was, and even that wasn’t that bad, because it’s still a role that needs to be played. I got off the couch and grabbed the meds the doctor prescribed me, took two, like I’ve been told to, they never work, o what the hell, I took two more. I sat back down on the couch and waited, sat in the dark, not even thinking, saying, or doing anything. The pills began to kick in, one pill, nothing, two pills, and then a sense of normalcy, “the red pulls send me higher and the blue ones make me fall,” too bad I ran out last month. Third pill, fourth pull, brain begins to fuzz. But I can still think, so I pop two more, and then my ass of a mind can no longer hurt me. I sit back down on Frank’s couch, and wonder where the twerp was.
My mind was filled with thoughts of Frank, and how all those little mannerisms that no one notices until you miss them. The scar between his eyes, the way his eyebrow twitches when he’s angry, the way he sticks out his tongue when he’s concentrating, that stupid glove he wears all the time, I look down on my hand and tugged on the loose threads. I though about his hand in mine, my hand on his bare chest, my lips exploring his skin, he was beautiful. My head snapped as I heard the door click.
“Gerard?” Frank called as he entered the apartment.
“Hey baby,” I stumbled over smiling, this stupid smirk across my face. “You’re fucking hot you know that?” I stood up straight to take a long look at him.
“Gerard not now,” he closed his eyes and frowned, automatically in response I frowned back. “We have company,” he stepped away opening the door wider as Bob, Ray, Mikey, Brian, Howard, Lyn-z, and Jamia filed in.
“What is she doing here?” I furrowed my brow, all childish matters aside.
“Gerard this is an intervention,” Mikey spoke quietly.
“What the fuck is she doing in our apartment?!” I yelled.
“Gerard calm down! She just wants to help!” Frank yelled just as annoyed, back.
“Oh I know she likes to help, she sure was more than willing to help josh!” I scowled. It hurt to see her despite how drugged up I was. “Fuck this, I’ll be right back. “I went and took two more pills without even thinking.
“Gerard you need to stop this,” Frank ran in after me.
“Why should I huh?” I turned around with a certain force smacking his hand away. “No one’s ever cared what I do before, because I’m so damn worthless,” I hunched over at the counter in the bathroom. “It’s never fucking mattered to anyone so why should it now?” I turned my head to him, “Frank I like this, I like this lifestyle. It’s not killing me, it just makes things easier. It makes all of the shit go away! Without it I don’t think id make it. Which do you prefer, this Gerard or dead Gerard? Why can’t you just respect that?”
“Gerard please… your killing me…” Frank’s eyes teared up and for the first time I saw how tired he was, how sick he looked, he always wore his makeup and today he wasn’t wearing any, maybe that’s why I noticed. “Do you know how much it hurts to see you do this to yourself? It’s not an instant death but when your kidney fails? You’re going to have a really big issue! I don’t know what to do anymore; I can’t just sit and watch as your life withers away. I can’t let you do that to yourself. I’d be a failure.” Frank tilted his head as he cried, I don’t think I’ve seen frank cry so much in my life. “The only thing I know left to do is to try and get through to you. To maybe show you what you look like on the outside, let me tell you, it’s not pretty. I want my Gerard back, I want our relationship back, and everything we’ve ever had and can still have. But you’re not the same when you’re stoned all the time. I want you to try; I need you to try for me.”
“Just listen to what we have to say Gerard,” Mikey was leaning against the wall around the corner. I peaked my head out to see him, “Just because Frank preached his letter to you, doesn’t mean the rest of us are done.”
“Fine,” I grumbled running my hand through my hair, “but I’m really stoned.”
Mikey walked out to the group as Frank and I followed. “Sit down bro, just… just listen okay?” I sat down on the chair in front of them crossed my arms and simply listened. Mikey started, “Gerard, you’re my brother. There’s a picture of you and I, I’m just a few months old, and you, you’re three and you’re laying on the ground smiling at me. It really is a touching picture. We’ve always been there for each other, and we always have been. When mom and dad kicked you out when you were 19 because you were drinking and came out as an Atheist. They didn’t kick me out to, I left. I never told you because I knew you’d try and convince me to go back. But I couldn’t believe they would do that, I just left, I couldn’t stand them anymore.”
“You dumb bastard,” I chuckled under my breath.
“Gerard, I have your back, and I always will, I just hope you always have mine. It’s one thing to drink, we all do it, in fact Ray’s on a hang over,” I looked to Ray as Mikey finished speaking.
“Hi,” Ray lifted his hand and let out a small smile.
“But this,” Mikey motioned to me,” It’s gotten out of hand, and I need my brother back.”
I nodded, “Very touching Michael, I appreciate your concern.” You could tell my response was disappointing to all of them, they desperately wanted to make me cry, they wanted to move me, to convince me to change, but I liked the way I was, I didn’t see anything wrong with that.


I really like this chapter just saying.... COMMENTS!!


I fucking love this so fucking much.
I love how you added real interviews, and real events, and dates,
and ugh, I just fucking love this so fucking much,
I spent my whole day reading this.
You made it sound like it is in fact what happened, if not somewhat close to what actually happen.
---sorry for the weridness, I just freaking love this.
MsCorrupterSOH MsCorrupterSOH
I just used up my entire day to read this entire story because its just so awesome :D
I really wish you could make a sequel (or maybe a short-story/epilogue type of thing?) I would love to see what happened with Lynz and Jamia. Oh, and also, I didn't get the ending. Are Gee and Frank together or not? Did they even get back together after trying to rebuild their friendship? Amazing story, I really loved the ending~
-xoxo Dani
@Hollow Point Smile
Thank you so much :3
jkjames jkjames

Haha :3 no worries! I love me some good mcr fics and this one is deffinaltey up there ^.^
@Hollow Point Smile
that was so fast. thank you so much! So many people are commenting that they like it and it's making me wanna leap off the computer and go hide away in my room and write. Thank you so much. I really hope I don't disapoint you and i really hope you keep reading! I'd love to hear more feedback from all these undercover fans! thank you so much.

@Hollow Point Smile
jkjames jkjames