Chapter 29
“What was your relationship like with your parents?” The interviewer wrote on the paper. Lyn-z wasn’t really sure what this all was bout. No one had told her what these questions were for; no one had told her what they were going to do with the tape, who they were going to give it to. All she knew is that these questions brought up more than one painful memory, as well as enough countering happy ones.
“Well when? Like aw what age? It changed quite a bit through my life,” Lyn-z showed a somber smirk.
“Oh whenever, give us milestones of your life.”
“Oh, well, when I was a child it was good, my parents seemed so happy. When I was a little girl I dreamed of having what my parents had. That sweet, charming, beautiful, relationship, it seemed almost like a fairy tale. We were the model family, ya know? Picture perfect. They were the kind of people who took their little girl to the park, let her go up and down the slide as they walked bare foot holding hands in the grass. My mom, who was a high school drop out, would push me on the swing when my dad made me giggle with funny faces on the other side. That’s why Gerard and Jamia always talked about it, that fairytale I wanted. When they would tell me about living that life with Josh, it really hurt, I had always wanted that with Gerard, and I knew having Joshes baby in the middle of my sophomore year of college was a step in the wrong direction. It really bothered me,” Lyn ran her hand through her hair with a sigh. “Obviously, as a young child my parent’s relationship with each other and myself really effected me. As I grew older everything changed. We weren’t that happy little picture perfect family anymore. Now that I’m older I realize that since my parents were so young we weren’t exactly picture perfect, but it was so close, it’s the relation ship between my parents and I is what was so perfect. Their relationship changed. They fought, all the time. Over anything they could find. Where one went after work, who didn’t get the next jug of juice out of the fridge from the garage. Sometimes they would fight about the house, but never about me. I never once heard them mention my name in an argument, and it kind of concerned me. Anyway, the image changed, growing up into a teen that affected me even more. As things in my house changed, so did I. Sneaking around, getting with boys, smoking pot, all of the things every parent fears their kid will do. It made me feel like it was impossible for a family to truly be picture perfect, like you couldn’t have that. OF course , my mom dressed my dad and I up for family portraits so that we could at least look like we were picture perfect,” Lyn-z took her eyes off the floor to look at the man in front of her.
“Did you like getting dressed up and getting your picture taken?”
Lyn-z immediately shook her head, “I hated how easy it was for my mother to lie like that. Those clothes weren’t mine, and that family definitely wasn’t mine either. I wanted my parents to fix out family, not dress it up and run from the truth pretending that everything was just fine.”
“Why did your parents fight?”
“Why? Oh, I don’t know, as a little kid, of course I thought it was for no reason, and it was probably something close to that. There’s no reason you can’t push through something like that. There’s no reason any thirteen year old kid should go through what I did. My dad was positive my mom was cheating on him. She wouldn’t admit to, but when she did, it took my dad holding a gun to my head. He was so drunk; He held the gun to my head and screamed at my mother as she cried. ‘Who is he?!’ he barked at her, ‘who are you fucking, Laura?!’ He was so drunk, I worried his finger would slip, shooting me. I almost wished it had, at the time. My home life, and the world I lived in wasn’t inviting anymore, I couldn’t find a reason to wake up every morning. When I asked him about the gun later, he insisted that there were no bullets in the gun. But when he passed out that night, I took the clip out and hid them all. My mom admitted to sleeping with her boss. My dad, of course, kicked her out, a week later she came back from his house in the middle of the night and picked up a few things, took some money, and left. Never said goodbye, never left me a note, and didn’t even tell me everything was going to be ok. She left, moved to L.A. leaving me in Jersey, haven’t seen her since. She told me it was my fault. She told me it was my fault she cheated on my dad. All because of my rebelious faze. I knew the divorce was coming, so i wanted them to stay together just like any kid would. So i turned myself into a mess, my logic as a thirteen year old girl was, no parent would want to fix a mess like mine on their own, so if I'm bad enough of a mess, they'l have to fix me together." Lyn-z played with her own hands, "I remember very vividly what happened the night my mom left."

Notes

This one is so sad T^T and the next one is worse! I wish you luck in your endevors, let me know how they go