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ghost girl

Blood rain

I fell asleep after a little. but when I woke up he was gone so I guess I was left alone to find my way to heaven or hell.
I was wondering around the forest lost in the beauty when I herd a man chuckle. but this chuckle was deep and did not sound friendly, I turned around quickly to see who was there. I stood in shock at what was looking back at me.....it it was a man? he was covered in tattoos and had jet black hair with both sides shaved and bleached white but not as white as my hair.
"who-who are you" I asked nervously because surly this man was not from the same place as mikey who was actually god. "who am I? no no sweet stuff let me answer that question with a question, who are you?" he replied in a sly voice . "I'm ma-mavis" I replied quickly and backed away further from the man, I asked him again "who the hell are you and why are you here" I have no idea were that little burst of confidence came from but it was gone as fast as it was there. "I am frank, Lucifer's second in command "he smiled a sly smile and stuck his hand out. I don't know why he thought I was going to shake his hand because he just told me that he's devils right hand man. "there's no way im going to shake your hand" I replied boldly, anger flashed through his eyes "well I see we have a little tough girl" he replied rudely with anger flaring in his eyes once again "afraid that since I live in hell that im gonna hurt you!" he yelled with hurt? flashing through his eyes. what why hurt why would he be hurt by me not wanting to shake his hand because he's a demon! he's a demon for gods sake! "no-no I just don't like to talk to strangers" I replied quietly "hah yeah sure what ever you say cause you didn't seem so scared to hug mikey well he comforted you" he yelled with hurt this time and not anger " how-how did you know that I was with him?" I asked scared that a demon was probably watching my every move "I have been sent to follow you to persuade you to come with me and bow down to Lucifer but its kind of hard to do that to some one you love" he said mumbling the last part "what was that you just said" I asked with confusion in my voice
"nothing but what I trying to say is that im not goingto hurt you i just wanted to talk to you" he said kindly this time. "well what do you want to talk about then" I asked walking closer to him and sitting down right next to him on the ground. "hemmm well lets start off with your age?" he asked kindly "well im 16 I just turned 16 in April" I replied "I see well I look 24 but im really1234yrs old" he laughed " oh my god haha that so funny I have never met anyone who's 12345 years old' I giggled and put my head on his shoulder. I felt him lean his cheek agents' my head and softly laugh. we talked about well I think every this we talked about animals, the world, music and he even told me about the medieval times and explained to me that he used to know Kurt cobia because he crossed through here. I really loved being with frank because he was so interesting and kind he made me feel happy, as I fell asleep still leaning on him I could of swore that I felt him softly kiss my cheek and whisper "sweet dreams mave I love you"

Notes

Hey guys I'm not going to be updating for a little cuz I'm going back to canada to visit famil

Comments

thank you for pointing this out I type this all on my phone because at the moment my laptop is broken but I will go back and fix all of it so thank you for pointing this out and no you never came across as rude

@Artzzz

Vannagore Vannagore
7/18/14

Hi, I'm sorry to point this out before I even started reading your story. But, that's the whole point of my comment. I saw the summary for your story on the "Gerard Way" tag but the problem is that even in the summary, you have a billion typos and mistakes in grammar...
I hate grammar police assholes who correct people's comments or tweets, but fanfiction is basically literature, and in literature you have to take grammatical rules and spelling seriously. Your idea is great, and I would read it, but it's not "pretty" to look at, and that costs you readers.
I have no intention of coming off as rude or a little-miss-know-it-all, but please, for the love of whatever you believe in, either get a beta or proofread EVERYTHING you write twice before considering posting them.

Artzzz Artzzz
7/18/14