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Mibba

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ghost girl

the ghost of you

the wind blew my hair around and scattered it every where. I felt the cold blue drops of rain fall on my face felling like bullets as they land there. overcast and then rain my favorite kind of weather. my white hair getting damper by the minute. looking out to see the beautiful dark forest in front of me this was it I was gone forever just dead yep im dead now and im only 16

I just sat there watching waiting for something to happen but nothing did every thing was gray and dead like her she wondered what was going to happen was she going to heaven, hell, purgatory, would she be living in her fondest memory. would she meet Kurt cobain and layne staley would she be living in her fondest memory in eternal happiness when she went to that green day concert when she was 12. she really had no idea but for now she waited, would she just be roaming around this dark mystical forest for eternity. no that could not be it god was sapost to be real she was sapost to be judged by him have eternal happieness like they said would happen when we die

"I don't under stand what's going on" I said out loud. I then saw a middle aged man about 33 walking towards me he had mocha brown hair and was waring glasses? and an white robe
"where am I whats going on I am dead im spost to go to heaven what the hell is-' I was cut off by the man "calme down my child your going to be okay you are in my arms now you just have to find you path to heaven or....hell" he said calmly "who are you" I asked backing away
"no need to be scared child im the lord our god" I looked at him in shock "your god?" I asked
"yes the one and only I have been watching you mavis and I pitty you but I am also very proud that you lead a good life just it ended very shortly and im sorry about that" he said in a caming voice. I ran up and hugged him tightly I don't know why though its just I was always very religos and I always went to god when I was in hard times like when my parents used to abuse me . when I was a child I used to pary in my room for good to turn me into a bird so I could fly far far away. he hugged back tightly and stroked my hair softly he was like the father I never had. "now mavis I don apologise for not being able to turn you into a bird so that you could "fly fly away"" he quoted at this I started crying softly as he continued to stroke my hair and for some reason it calmed me.

Notes

hey guys I am back with a new fanfiction and I am sorry I deleted your going to be my dad but I felt like it was going no wear just like ivory blood drops but I have not deleated that because e surprise I am wrighing all new chapters for it and when im done this story I should be finished ivory blood drops chapters and I will post them all at once on the sit bye

Comments

thank you for pointing this out I type this all on my phone because at the moment my laptop is broken but I will go back and fix all of it so thank you for pointing this out and no you never came across as rude

@Artzzz

Vannagore Vannagore
7/18/14

Hi, I'm sorry to point this out before I even started reading your story. But, that's the whole point of my comment. I saw the summary for your story on the "Gerard Way" tag but the problem is that even in the summary, you have a billion typos and mistakes in grammar...
I hate grammar police assholes who correct people's comments or tweets, but fanfiction is basically literature, and in literature you have to take grammatical rules and spelling seriously. Your idea is great, and I would read it, but it's not "pretty" to look at, and that costs you readers.
I have no intention of coming off as rude or a little-miss-know-it-all, but please, for the love of whatever you believe in, either get a beta or proofread EVERYTHING you write twice before considering posting them.

Artzzz Artzzz
7/18/14