Save Me From My Self-Destruction

Gerard and I gathered my comics, his comics, his art supplies and some extra clothes in case. I decided to get a shower before we went.
“Gerard?” I called, packing a rucksack with books.

“Yeah?” Gerard answered as he packed his own bag.

“Can I get a shower?”

“You’ve got twenty minutes.”

I nodded and walked upstairs to the bathroom.

I locked myself in, before getting undressed. The bathroom window was open, which I hadn’t noticed. I closed it in a hurry. My body was horrible and I didn’t want to scare the neighbours. I turned the shower on, and waited for it to heat up.

My arms were covered in scars and cuts, from the top of my shoulders all the way down to my wrist; they went all the way around my forearm. I also had scars on my thighs and hips. I remember when I tried to cut my fat off, when my aunt was looking after me a few months ago. She rushed me to hospital, panicking. The doctor stitched the cuts up, while a nurse put me on morphine gas. I had three therapy sessions after that. Three. That did a lot of good. My therapist said that I was fine. I was not fine.

When the shower had heated up I stood under the water, waiting for it to clean me. I knew that I would have to use soap. The shower gel was bright orange, and it smelt like mangoes. I washed myself quickly before getting out.

After I found a towel, I turned the shower off. I dried myself and wrapped the towel around myself, hiding my body, and made my way back downstairs.

I walked down to Gerard’s room, wrapped in my towel.

“You okay?” Gerard asked.

“Yeah.” I nodded as I got Mikey’s Batman pyjamas out again. I put them on as quickly as I could so Gerard couldn’t see my scars. My bag was heavier than I thought it would be. I put it over my shoulder and waited for Gerard. He was soon finished packing.

“Come on, Frankie.” He held his hand out for me to take, and I did so. I held it tightly as we walked upstairs.

Gerard shouted his mum. “Mum, I’m taking Frankie to hospital now!”

Mrs Way came running from the kitchen. “Oh- boys! Do you have things to do? Extra clothes?”

“Yeah, we do.” Gerard smiled as he put his Vans on. I put my Converse on, as they were the only shoes I had. Gerard took my hand again as Mrs Way kissed both of our foreheads. He took me out to the car, and opened the passenger seat for me.

“You’re a gentleman, Gerard.” I smiled.

“Call me Gee.” Gerard, or now Gee, kissed my cheek.

He got in the driver’s seat and started the car. He put in an old Green Day CD. It was Dookie, I knew that album by heart. Gerard began to drive to the hospital as I leaned my head against the window. This is gonna be hell. I’m gonna hate this so much. I should’ve killed myself before this happened.

I truly hated everything at that moment. That was until I felt Gerard take my hand gently. He drove slowly, he could obviously tell that my stomach was tied in knots and was doing backflips. I smiled a little, squeezing Gerard’s hand softly. It took ten minutes to get to hospital.
Gerard parked up, and turned the car off. He got out as I grabbed my bag. I got out just as Gerard showed up at my side. He took my hand after I put my rucksack over my shoulder. He lead me inside to the reception desk.

The receptionist looked up at us through her glasses. “How can I help you two?”

“Uh- My boyfriend, Frank, he’s staying here because he I anorexic.” Gerard explained. The receptionist gave us a bit of a dirty look at the word ‘boyfriend’. I stood closer to Gerard as he put his arm around me. “A nurse helped us out yesterday, she told us to come back at 11 today.”

The receptionist nodded and tapped at her keyboard. “Take a seat, nurse Sally will be with you in a moment.”

Gerard nodded and walked me over to the faded purple seats. We sat down as Gerard put our bags on the seat next to him. I rested my head on Gerard’s shoulder.

“How do you feel?” He asked quietly.

“I feel like I’m dying…” I mumbled.

“Do you feel nervous?”

I nodded.

“Do you feel sick?”

I nodded.

This carried on until nurse Sally got here. “Are either of you two…Mr. Frank Iero?” she asked, reading her note pad.

“Uh- me.” I mumbled “I’m Frank Iero.”

The nurse smiled “I’m Sally. I’m your nurse while you stay here.” I liked Sally so far. She had long blonde hair, tied in a messy ponytail, big black glasses, she was the same height as me and she was carrying a notepad and pens. “Who’s this, Frank?” she asked me.

“Gerard.” I said quietly, I was so nervous.

“I’m his boyfriend.” Gerard smiled. I punched his shoulder gently.

“How cute!” Sally smiled. “Follow me to your room Frank and Gerard.” she smiled and turned to lead us to a room. We followed her. “You’ll have a room to yourself, as we are aware of how much privacy someone with an eating disorder needs. You’ll be in the same corridor as other patients with eating disorders.”

I nodded as Gerard squeezed my hand.

“You will also have therapy once a day for an hour. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday will be one to one. Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday will be group therapy. Sunday is you and Gerard.” She took us down a corridor that was painted light blue, and stopped at a door that said ‘Room 34’. I’m guessing it was my room.

We went inside. There was a small window, a bed, a closet and a bedside table. The room was painted light blue like the corridor, and there was a door in the far corner. I say far but it was literally about two metres away from me. It wasn’t a long room; it was wide, about four metres across, so everything could fit in. Sally lead us in, “You have a bathroom to yourself too.”
I smiled, that’s what the door was. I sat on the bed and put my bag on the floor. Gerard sat with me and Sally sat on the other side of me. “Tomorrow will be the start of your treatment. You will be on a drip, which helps you gain weight. There is a café down the hall, which I where you will eat once a day to start with. The drip will feed you once a day at the same time, which at the moment is 5pm. You will also eat a meal in the morning at 11am, every day.”

I just listened.

“You’re therapy starts tomorrow, group therapy with the other teenagers here.” Sally smiled softly when she saw me tense up. “It’s okay, they are in the same boat as you.” I relaxed slightly. “It’s at 2pm every day. I’ll leave you two to get settled, just put your stuff in the closet…also Gerard...?”

Gerard looked up at her “Yeah?”

“You can’t stay night, just tonight, for Frank’s sake.” And with that Sally left the room.

Notes

:3