Save Me From My Self-Destruction

“Frank, are you okay?” He asked.
“Um- yeah, but …” I trailed off.
“But what?” Gerard came and sat with me. I pulled my sleeves over my hands more.
“I have to tell you something. You’re gonna hate me though.” I mumbled.
“No, no, I won’t I promise.” He smiled at me. I smiled back a little, before starting to tell him my secret.
“Okay…. I get bullied at school and on facebook and through texts and my parents abuse me and I’m anorexic and I’m suicidal and I cut.” I said all in one breath. Gerard swallowed and nodded, he was shocked. I curled up and sobbed quietly. He put one arm around me and pulled me close to him. I let the pillow go and hugged him instead.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you…you’re safe here.” Gerard cooed, stroking my back. I nodded and held him tightly. “How long has this been going on for, Frank?”
“T-two…two years.” I mumbled.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was scared you would be disappointed in me…”

1. My Heart’s So Fucked Up I Can Barely Stand Up

   “Frank, are you okay?” He asked. “Um- yeah, but …” I trailed off. “But what?” Gerard came and sat with me. I pulled my sleeves over my hands more. “I have to tell you something. You’re gonna hate me though.” I mumbled. “No, no, I won’t I promise.” He smiled at me. I smiled back a little.

2. It's Not Like You Need This, I Just Wanted You To See It

   “Can I borrow pyjamas?” “Yes!” came Mikey’s voice. I nearly fell over at the sound of that. I went back to Mikey’s room and searched through his draws. I found one full of jeans, one full of shirts and hoodies, another with socks and his underwear in and the bottom one had pyjamas in them.

3. I Wish These Thoughts Of Mine Could Create The Sunshine

   I laid back and sighed. Gerard watched me, frowning. “Are you hungry?” “No, I feel sick.” I mumbled. “Are you gonna be sick?” Gerard asked, sitting me up. “I don’t know.” I shrugged, groaning. Gerard rubbed my back gently. He picked me up and took me upstairs.

4. I've Got My Problems, And It Starts With Me

   “You’re so weak, Frank.” Gerard stated. I nodded. ​​​ “I know. I can’t feel my legs.” I mumbled back. Gerard picked me up and carried upstairs to the living room. ​​​ “Where’s your cell?” He asked quietly. ​​​ “In my jeans in Mikey’s room.” I answered breathlessly. ​​​ “Jeez, Frankie.” He mumbled,

5. If it counts I'll lose my courage when I need it the most

   Gerard parked up outside my house. I got out of the car and leaned against it while Gerard sorted himself out. He was soon at my side, holding me up. I got my spare key out of his jean pocket. Gerard lead me to the front door. “I’ll be okay, I can walk….just.” I looked up at him.

6. It's Ripping Me Apart And I Can't Take It Anymore

   Gerard had hollow eyes, but they were innocent – he was trapped inside his own body. I knew none of the Ways would ever hurt me, but I doubted it at that moment. They all closed in on me. My mother ripped into my chest, pulling out my heart. I screamed silently

7. Your Secret's Out, And The Best Part Is It Isn't Even A Good One

   “Uh- My boyfriend, Frank, he’s staying here because he I anorexic.” Gerard explained. The receptionist gave us a bit of a dirty look at the word ‘boyfriend’. I stood closer to Gerard as he put his arm around me. “A nurse helped us out yesterday, she told us to come back at 11 today.” ​​​

8. There's Gotta Be A Better Way To Show How I Feel

   - VERY TRIGGERING: self harm and attempted suicide -

9. I Know This Hurts, It Was Meant Too

   I sniffed a little, before backing away and sneezing. Gerard giggled a little “Bless you, poppet.” ​​​ I blushed and closed my eyes. Sally started putting the drip in again, I held my breath. I could feel it, it felt horrible. I screwed my nose up and made a noise. ​​​ “It’ll be over in a second.”