The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

I hear the door fly open right as I let my fist slam into the headboard. I hear the thud ring out in the room right before I am grabbed and harshly pulled back, Frank flipping me over and jumping on me, straddling my hips and wrapping his hands around my wrists, pinning me to the bed. I let out another choked off sob, no fight left in me as Frank looks down at me, looking terrified. "Babe stop, you're hurting yourself. Talk to me please" he pleads and I lay there crying and trying to find the words to tell him how terrified I am that he'll leave and I'll have nothing. He slowly releases one of my
wrists and brings his hand up to gently stroke my cheek as he watches me cry it out before lowering himself and wrapping me in his arms. I cling to him and try to get myself under control and when I can breathe again he says "What's going on babe?" "Ruby doesn't like me as much as you and I'm scared you're going to realise how much better off you are without me and you'll take her and leave and I'll have nothing" I blurt out, shocking both of us. I never actually meant to say anything. "Gee, don't be ridiculous, Ruby loves you. You're all she talks about, she fucking worships you babe." "Then why are you daddy and I'm not?" Frank shakes his head and says "Gee, trust me she loves you, you're her Geegee. She's a kid babe there's not necessarily a reason for what she says but you should know, the only reason she loves drawing so much is because that's what Geegee does. She wants to be just like you. She told me that." I sniffle a few times, unsure if I should believe him but he continues, "And as for me, I fucking worship you too babe, how could I not. You're incredible and I'm so lucky to even have you in my life, I would never walk away from that." I shake my head, but Frank grips my chin tight in his hand, stopping the movement and he nods. "It's true babe I promise you. I love you so much." I sniffle again before sitting up slightly, pressing myself to Franks chest as he holds me close. "I love you" I murmur out after a few minutes and when we pull apart Frank smiles at me before leaning down and sealing his lips to mine. I kiss back eagerly, hungry for affection and just as things start to get heated a little tap on the door breaks us apart and Frank jumps off the bed to open it. Ruby comes running into the room and climbs onto the bed, launching herself onto my chest, wrapping her little arms around me. I cuddle her back for a second before she pulls away and sits up, leaning over me and looking at my red swollen eyes. "Don't cry Geegee" she says as she gently pats my cheek. I grab her wrist and bring her hand from my cheek to my mouth, pressing a soft kiss to the palm of her hand, making her giggle and I smile weakly at her. She smiles back and leans in to give me another cuddle as Frank joins us on the bed again. He slides over and wraps his arms around both of us and I snuggle further into his side, Ruby laying completely on my chest as I seek comfort that I desperately need.

When we pull ourselves off the bed Ruby reaches up and wraps her little fingers around mine, holding my hand as we walk out into the kitchen. The blocks have been cleaned up but Ruby's drawing stuff is still on the table. "How about you guys go for bath time and I'll make dinner?" Frank asks and Ruby starts tugging my hand leading me from the room saying "Can we play duckies Geegee?" I nod my head and she cheers as she toddles along, leading me to the bathroom. I start running the water and I turn to ask her if she'd like bubbles and the sight I'm met with makes me laugh for the first time in what feels like ages. Ruby is trying to undress herself but her head is caught in the shirt and she's frantically trying to free herself. I walk over and say "Hang on Rubes, I'll help" and I lean down and pull the shirt off her head. When her head pops out she giggles and starts working on her pants. While she's doing that I turn back to add soap to the water to give her bubbles and I see Frank standing in the doorway smiling. "What's all the laughing?" He asks and Ruby says "I got stucked daddy." He looks at me confused and I say "Her head got stuck in her shirt." He chuckles as he walks over and presses a kiss to the top of her head. She kicks her pants off and walks over, holding her arms out to me and I check the temperature one last time, turning the tap off before picking her up and putting her in, kneeling on the floor beside the tub as Frank leaves the room. Ruby grabs her two rubber duckies out of the basket on the shelf beside the tub and hands me the purple one, keeping the pink one for herself. We splash around with them for a while, making them swim through the bubbles and fight each other while Ruby giggles hysterically before she lifts hers out of the water and presses it's beak to my cheek, making a kissing noise. I smile at her as she giggles again before she leans over and kisses me too. I peck her back and say "Ok Rubes time to wash now." She frowns but reaches out for the soap handing it to me and I quickly but thoroughly wash her, rinsing out her hair before telling her it's time to get out. Once I've lifted her out and dried her off I turn around to take the plug out and let the water drain and when I turn back she's gone. I walk out of the bathroom, her towel in my hand and find her in the kitchen, giggling and telling Frank about the ducky fight and how she ran away from me and he chuckles back and tells her she needs to get dressed. When she spots me coming into the room behind her she squeals and runs around the table, hiding behind Franks legs, her little arms wrapped around them, peeking out and giggling. Frank laughs and I smile before he reaches down and picks her up, lifting her above his head and turning her giggles into full blown laughing as he bounces her around and says "Come on rude girl, time to get dressed" before bringing her down and cradling her to his chest. Frank carries her out of the room and I walk back into the bathroom, throwing the towel on the laundry pile and going back into the kitchen to see Frank has made my favourite dinner. When Frank and Ruby return she is fully dressed and when Frank puts her down to go plate up dinner she toddles over and starts climbing into my lap. I help her up and she makes herself comfortable and when I try to move her to her own seat so we can eat she clings to me and whines, so I sigh and let her sit in my lap, us both eating off my plate. Frank sits across the table smiling wide at us the whole time we eat and I can't help but smile back.

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