The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

I lay face down, screaming and thrashing around feeling Franks hands grabbing me roughly before he loses his balance and I buck him off me, frantically dragging myself off the floor as I run from the room, running into the kitchen and grabbing the biggest knife from the block on the bench and spinning around, holding it out in his direction as Frank comes into the room behind me. The knife shakes as my hands are trembling badly while I gasp for breath, tears streaming down my face as I scream out "Get the fuck away from me." "Baby just calm down" Frank says and I know he's in control again but I don't want him near me. I hold the knife further out as I yell "Back up." He doesn't listen and takes another step forward and I stab out at him, narrowly missing him and he gets the hint and backs off. "Babe, put the knife down before you hurt yourself" he says and I shake my head, refusing to leave myself vulnerable again. "Get away from me" I scream again and he sighs before backing out of the room and disappearing from my sight. I drop the knife to the floor and follow it, curling up with my knees to my chest as I sob at the thought of what my own husband was going to do to me.

An hour later I drag myself off the floor and make my way back to the living room and tug my clothes back on. I settle myself back on the couch and curl up under the blanket, exhausted but too terrified to sleep. I lay awake for the rest of the night until I hear Frank get up and the shower starts so I run into the bedroom, quickly changing my clothes before leaving the apartment too afraid to face him. I wander the streets for an hour until I'm supposed to start work and when I walk in William rushes around the counter to me and says "Wow Gerard you look terrible. Are you alright?" I nod and he says "Come around the back and I'll make you some coffee, you look like you haven't slept in a week." I follow him and gratefully accept the cup of very strong coffee he offers me and once it's in my system I feel slightly better. The day passes slowly, not many customers coming in so William and I start joking and dancing around to the songs playing on the radio and when I glance at the clock I have an hour left until
my shift ends. "Hey William, I know we didn't exactly get off to
a great start but uh..." And I'm about to ask if I could stay with him for a few days possibly when the bell over the door goes off and interrupts me. When I turn my head to look Frank is walking towards the counter and I flinch away and say "Uh William I need a bathroom break" and make a run for the back of the store. "Gee wait" I hear Frank call out and I stop so he says "Please, come out here and talk to me." I sigh and turn around, dragging my feet as I walk around the counter and take a seat at the table in the corner, Frank following and sitting opposite me.

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