The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

I stare in horror as I watch Williams mouth move to form the words that flow from it. "I have fifty bucks in my pocket for you, if you lend me your husband for the night." Franks face changes from concerned to downright anger and he drops my hand before forming his hand into a fist and driving it directly into Williams face. "You pathetic piece of shit. Don't you dare talk about my husband like that" Frank screams at him before William takes a step towards him, lip bleeding already and Frank swings again, striking him in the jaw and sending him stumbling back a few steps. I grab Franks wrist and say "Babe please stop" but when he turns and looks at me it's not my Frank in control anymore and I swallow down the lump of fear in my throat. "Frankie" I whisper out shakily but his eyes remain hardened as he grabs me by the front of my shirt and says "I'm so fucking sick of taking care of you. You're pathetic" before slapping me hard across the face. I brace my hands against his chest and shove him off, breaking his hold on my shirt as I clutch my cheek and I feel my bottom lip trembling with my body's effort to hold back the tears at such a cutting remark like that. Pushing Frank seems to make him angrier because he huffs out a breath and charges at me, knocking me to the ground and punching me continually in the face and chest until he is ripped off me by William and one of his friends and I roll to the side and curl into a ball, desperate to protect myself, flashbacks of when Bert and Bob hurt me running through my mind and when I feel a hand on my shoulder I scream until it is removed. I lay there on the sidewalk shaking and crying until I can pull myself together again and when I drag myself up to sit William is sitting beside me and everyone else is gone. I look around frantically for Frank but I don't see him and William says "He took off." I hang my head as a new wave of tears threaten to spill from me, Frank beat me and then left me. William reaches out and gently rests a hand on my shoulder as he says "I'm sorry Gerard. I wasn't really going to tell him, I just wanted to mess around. But I have to ask, does he hit you like that often?" I shake my head as I say "Sometimes. He has a mental
disorder, kinda like multiple personality I guess but it's like just purely his anger and when it takes over he lashes out. When he snaps out of it sometimes he remembers what he's done and sometimes he doesn't. It happens less and less these days but when we first got together it was bad." William
stares at me wide eyed before he says "How can you be with someone like that?" I shake my head and say "Because I love him." William shakes his head and in the light from the street light we are under I see the forming of a bruise on his jaw. "I'm sorry he hit you" I say and he smiles and says "I probably had it coming. I mean I tried to rent you from him so..." I smile a little and shake my head again "Yeah that was kinda a dick thing to do." We both laugh a little before we pull ourselves off the sidewalk and I say "Thanks for staying with me" and he waves his hand around and says "Well I wasn't gonna just leave you there alone. There's a lot of weirdos out here you know." I smile as I say "Why do I get the feeling I'm in the company of the biggest one?" And William shoves me playfully and laughs.

After he walks me home William gives me a hug before turning and leaving and I let myself into the building and up to the apartment. When I walk in the place is in darkness and I don't hear any noise so I tiptoe through to the bedroom where the door is open a crack. I push it open a little further and in the moonlight streaming through the cracks in the blinds I see Frank laying under the blankets, his eyes closed and his breathing even. I tiptoe over and grab my pillow off the bed before leaving the room and settling myself on the couch, turning the tv on with the volume right down as I try to lull myself to sleep. A few hours later I am woken by hands touching me and when I open my eyes Frank is standing over me having pulled the blanket off me and he's tugging on my only piece of clothing, my boxers. "Frank stop, I'm not in the mood" I mumble out still half asleep but when he tilts his head to look at me his eyes are still hardened and I know he's still not my Frank and he spits out "Shut the fuck up, you fuck everyone else, why not me" before forcefully yanking my boxers down and I freeze up as his hands start roughly touching my dick, tears streaming down my face. "Stop" I plead before slapping at his hands, desperate to get them off me and Frank removes his hands only to grab my waist and slide me off the couch, throwing me to the floor and causing me to cry out in pain as my back hits the floor before roughly flipping me over and climbing ontop of me, pinning me face down to the floor and I start to scream.

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