The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

Later that night the phone rings and Mikey is in the shower so I let the machine pick it up and I'm glad I did. Bert's voice comes through the machine saying "Hey Mikes it's Bert, please call me back. It's Gerard, I need to know if he's with you because he's been gone since yesterday and I need to find him." I glare at the machine before fleeing back upstairs and shutting myself in my room. An hour later there's a knock on the door and Mikey comes in saying "Gee, Bert and Frank have just pulled up. Maybe it's time to sort this out?" I shake my head as the sound of the doorbell rings through the house and Mikey says "Come on, either way it goes the longer you leave this the more it's gonna hurt." I sigh and stand up, defeated before making my way downstairs and opening the front door. When Bert and Frank come into view they both lunge through the doorway, wrapping their arms around me and almost knocking me to the floor. I squirm and step back, freeing myself from their hold and blocking the hallway, stopping them from coming any further into the house. "What do you want?" I ask and Frank takes a step towards me before saying "Babe why did you leave?" I snap and anger overtakes my body as I say "You know damn fucking well why I left. You didn't even come after me or fucking check I was here or even ok for a whole fucking day. You were probably too busy fucking each other." The look that crosses Bert's face tells me all I need to know as my gaze drifts back to Franks face as I raise my hand and slap him hard across the cheek. "Fuck you" I scream as I run upstairs. I hear footsteps behind me and as I reach the bedroom door I am grabbed from behind and shoved to the ground face down, a body dropping down onto my and pinning me there as my hair is grabbed and the side of my head is slammed into the floor. I scream out in pain as I thrash around desperately trying to get Frank off me before his fist collides with the side of my jaw, silencing my screams as I'm in too much pain to even make a sound. "Shut the fuck up" he yells and his fist flies back ready to strike again before he's pulled off me by Mikey and Bert. I curl up into a ball as I remain face down on the floor, sobbing silently in so much pain I wish I would just pass out and escape it all. I can hear Frank screaming and swearing and I know it's not my Frankie anymore but I can't focus on the words, just the awful noises. I hear a scuffle before Frank groans out in what sounds like pain before going silent and I can't even bring myself to look at what's happening behind me, I just curl up tighter and whimper. A few minutes later a hand touches my back and I scream, shaking and thrashing around on the floor desperate to get away from whoevers touching me and even though Mikey's soothing voice drifts into my ear saying "Shh Gee it's just me" I continue to thrash around until he removes his hand. I hear Bert and Mikey's mumbled voices but they are just distant sounds to me now as I drag myself across the floor and into my room, slamming the door shut behind me and locking it, shaking and whimpering again on the floor where I eventually pass out.

When I wake up again I am on the bed and Bert is sitting beside me. When I turn my head in the other direction I see Frank sitting in a chair in the corner and I flinch, tensing up before launching myself off the bed and running for the door. A hand grabs my wrist so I scream again and the grip is released as I stumble through the doorway and keep running until I run straight into Mikey's chest. His arms wrap around me as he stumbles a few steps from the force I hit him with and he says "Shh Gee. I got you, you're safe I promise." I whimper and choke out a sob before I feel light headed and my knees buckle, Mikey sinking to the floor with me as he keeps me in his arms. "Shhh it's alright just breathe" Mikey says as we kneel on the floor and he pulls my head onto his shoulder while he stokes my hair. "Back up" I hear him say but I don't look at which one is behind me. After a few minutes I pull away and stumble my way to the bathroom, about to close the door when a hand stops it and Bert forces his way inside, closing and locking the door behind him to the protests of Mikey. I back myself against the wall opposite the door but Bert slowly walks towards me holding his hand out. "Baby just calm down. I won't hurt you I promise." I whimper and press myself further into the wall as he reaches me and softly strokes his fingers over the severely swollen side of my face. "Babe I'm so sorry, for everything I've done to you. I know I shouldn't have slept with Frank but it just happened and when he hit you I could have killed him." I shake my head before choking out "I don't want to hear it." Bert's mouth snaps shut and he nods once before I reach up and push his hand away from my face. He backs away a few steps and I sink to the floor, bring my knees to my chest, resting my forehead against them as I say "Just go." Bert starts to protest but then sighs in defeat and leaves the room, closing the door again behind himself.

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