The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

The next day I drop Ruby off at preschool and go to the grocery store before I head over to Franks. I knock on the door and after a minute he opens it, still shirtless, his hair a mess from sleep and pillow creases on his cheek. "Hey Frankie" I say softly, not knowing how bad his hangover is. He nods in response and steps aside, gesturing for me to come in. I walk in and go straight to the kitchen, sitting down the shopping bags I'm carrying, Frank following me. I turn back around and face him again, both of us just staring into the others eyes before we both take a step forward, wrapping our arms around each other. Frank buries his face in my neck as I bury mine in his hair as we stand in the middle of the kitchen just holding each other. When we pull apart I reach out and gently cup Franks cheek with my hand, stroking my thumb over the skin before pulling away again and turning back to the bags as I say "I brought you some groceries since you seem to have none." When I turn back to look at him Frank is smiling sheepishly at me and I smile back before moving around the room to put the groceries away, Frank watching me the whole time. When I'm done I take his hand and lead him to the living room, sitting us on the couch facing each other. "Are you ok Frankie?" I ask and his bottom lip quivers before he shrugs his shoulders. I sigh, not knowing what to do, my heart aching seeing him in this state. "Is there anything I can do?" I ask and again he just shrugs. I take a deep breath before reaching out and turning the tv on, moving around to face it as Frank does the same and we sit side by side, neither of us really watching but staring at it in silence. After a few minutes I reach out and take his hand in mine, sliding my fingers between his and linking them together, not turning my head to look. After a few minutes I look over out of the corner of my eye to see a small smile on his face as he stares at the tv and I feel a little less guilty inside. After a while I slide my hand out from his, standing up and going into the bathroom. I start running a hot bubble bath and once it's done I go back into the living room and take Franks hand, pulling him up and leading him into the bathroom. "I'll make you some food while you take a bath" I offer and he shakes his head, grabbing my wrist. "Please stay" he whispers out and it's the first time he's spoken to me since I got here. I nod and say "Sure Frankie" before turning my back to give him privacy to undress and get in, turning back when I hear him in the water. He rests his arms on the sides of the tub so the bandages don't get wet and I kneel on the floor beside the tub like I used to for Ruby, gently running my fingers along the bandage on his arm. "Why Frankie?" I ask, my voice trembling as I feel like I'm going to cry again. He slowly lifts his arm and cups my cheek as he says "I'm sorry." I lean into his touch and close my eyes, a few tears falling down my cheeks.

Once he's done in the bath and I've helped wash his hair I leave the room and give him privacy to get out and dry off, so I go into the kitchen and make him some lunch. When he comes out fully dressed he looks a lot better and I gesture for him to sit and eat. I sit opposite him and just watch him eat, neither of us knowing what to say to each other. When he's done I clean up the dishes and while I'm at the bench drying them Frank comes over and wraps his arms around my waist, his head resting on the back of my shoulder. "Thank you" he says softly and I slide one hand down to squeeze his, not knowing what to say still. He lets go and I finish the dishes before saying "I gotta get going Frankie, Rubes finishes preschool soon." At the mention of her name his eyes light up and I say "You wanna come over for a while? Hang out with her?" A small smile breaks out on his face and he nods so I smile back and wait for him to grab a jacket before we leave the apartment, hailing a cab and going to her preschool. When we get there Ruby squeals and runs straight into Frank, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Daddy" she screams out as he drops down to his knees and pulls her into his chest in a crushing hug. "Geez Rubes inside voice" he playfully scolds her and she giggles sheepishly as she cuddles him back. When we get back to the apartment Ruby takes Franks hand and leads him around showing him everything and talking at a million miles an hour before they settle on the couch, Ruby climbing into Franks lap as she turns the tv on, both of them settling in to watch spongebob. I go into the kitchen and call to order pizza before joining them again and the hole in my chest feels a little smaller when I hear Frank and Ruby giggling together at the tv, a smile spreading across my own face.

Notes

So it's just about done guys, one more chapter and I'm gonna wrap this story up. I'm starting to really struggle with it and I figure that's a sign that it's time to end it. Thank you to everyone who is reading this story, being very new to this writing thing made it very nerve wracking at the start and I still feel unsure sometimes but all the support I've gotten has helped push me on : )