The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

The following day Frank has off work and he follows me around like a lost puppy, begging me not to go. I feel my self control crumbling, tears constantly stinging my eyes. Frank makes Ruby and I breakfast one last time before we leave to pick up the keys for the new apartment, going over to make sure it's clean before we move everything in. We just get back to the apartment before the movers and Frank sits in the corner of the living room, curled up in a ball sobbing his eyes out as they take the last of our things away. Ruby and I are about to leave, my new bed and our new living room furniture being delivered to the new place soon aswell when Frank stands and grabs me, wrapping his arms around me tight. "Please" he sobs out, his hands clutching at the back of my shirt. "Frankie" I whisper out, my own tears falling as I gently rub his back. "Don't cry babe, please" I whisper in his ear and he lets out a choked off sob, burying his face further into my neck. "Please please please" he quietly begs, making me feel worse and worse. I forcefully pull back from him, cupping his face in my hands. "Frankie, it'll be ok. We're not healthy for each other and this is for the best. You'll see that, in time I know you will. Please don't cry." He sniffles, trying to not cry anymore. "I'll always be there for you, if you need anything you call me ok, I just can't continue doing what we're doing." He nods, understanding and I lean in hugging him one last time, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead before walking over and scooping up Ruby, she's too afraid to come near him after seeing him hit me. I glance over at Frank one last time, seeing him sink to his knees in tears as we walk out the door.

The first few days apart are hard but I get through it and Ruby decides she's ready to see Frank again. I call him a few times but he doesn't answer so we go by the music store. Matt is there but Frank isn't and he comes over, giving me a hug and whispering in my ear that I look terrible. "I feel it Matt, it hurts all the time but he was killing me and I did what I had to do." "I know Gee but he's a mess, completely destroyed." I swallow down the lump in my throat, knowing that's my fault. "Is he in today? He's not answering his phone." Matt shakes his head. "No he's taking a few personal days." I nod and thank Matt before taking Ruby's hand and leaving. We hail a cab and go back to the old apartment, knocking on the door as I left my key when I left. I knock a few times before we hear shuffling inside the apartment and Frank opens the door, looking like death. "Hey" he slurs out and I step infront of Ruby, protecting her. "Frankie, are you drunk?" I ask and he smiles sloppily at me, giggling and I have no doubt he's drunk. "Ruby wanted to see you but clearly you're not in any state to spend time with her" I tell him and he sways on his feet. Just as I reach out to stop him from falling I hear a female voice call out "Frank, baby where'd you get to" right before Lindsey comes into view, just in her underwear. "Well clearly we're interrupting" I spit out, pulling my hands back from him and picking up Ruby, rushing off down the hall. Once we're in a cab heading home Ruby says "Daddy smelled bad." I laugh before saying "Yeah he did didn't he." "The lady had big boobies daddy." I choke before I start laughing, shaking my head and cuddling her into my side, swallowing down the heartache I feel that he's with Lindsey already. That night after Ruby goes to bed I crawl into my cold empty bed and cry myself to sleep like I have every night since I left, tonight feeling worse because of Lindsey.

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