The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

That night Frank sleeps on the couch, giving me my space. When I get up the next morning he and Ruby are at the table eating pancakes, a plate of them and a fresh cup of coffee waiting for me at my place. I sit and slowly pick at them, not really in the mood to eat, remaining silent. Frank attempts conversation with me, telling me it's his day off and I've had enough of the awkward tension so I push back my chair, standing up and saying "Good then I'm going out" leaving the room and getting in the shower, quickly washing before getting out and dressing. I pull on shoes and grab my
wallet, keys and cell, kissing Ruby goodbye and walking out the door, stopping once I get onto the street, taking a deep breath of fresh air. I wander around for an hour, just relishing in the feeling of being away from Frank. I don't know how I feel about him anymore, I feel like he's destroyed everything we have and I don't know if I can trust him anymore. I am passing a coffee shop and I decide to go in, sitting at a table and drinking my coffee, staring out the window and people watching. Once my coffee is done I keep wandering before I decide I need to put an end to the thoughts that have been racing through my mind since yesterday afternoon. I hail a cab and soon find myself outside the entrance to the hospital. I go inside and ask for Bert, the nurse at the front telling me only family are allowed in to see him. "I'm his emergency contact, Gerard Way" I tell her and she brings up his file, nodding and telling me how to get to his room. I take the elevator to his floor and slowly walk down the hallway, entering his private room and seeing him asleep, a nurse checking his iv. "Hi" she greets me and I stop just inside the door, looking at how fragile and broken he looks. "Hi" I choke out. "Is he going to be ok?" The nurse looks back over at me and smiles warmly. "He'll be just fine hun, he just needs time to heal." I nod, feeling wetness on my cheek and when I reach my hand up I feel that I'm crying. The nurse passes me on her way out the door, comfortingly squeezing my arm and saying "He should be awake soon." I nod and she leaves the room. I slowly walk over to sit beside his bed, taking hold of his hand and waiting for him to wake up. Twenty minutes later he stirs and his eyes flutter open, his head snapping in my direction and his eyes widening. "Gee" he croaks out and I say "Are you alright?" He slowly nods his head before saying "Besides the pain I'm ok." We sit in silence for a few seconds, just staring at each other before he says "I'm sorry. For everything I ever did to you, I'm sorry." "It doesn't really make it better Bert, I have so many scars, both mental and physical, because of what you've done to me and I don't think I could ever forgive you, but in saying that, I would never wish this upon you either. I know Frank did this but no matter what you did to me no one deserves this." Bert squeezes my hand before saying "Trust me Gee I had this coming." I shake my head but don't say anything. "How did you even find us? Why can't you just leave me to be happy for a change?" "I came here after I got out of jail and I met Jamie and she did nothing but talk about her kid and how much she missed her and then a few weeks ago she told me
that she found her and we followed you guys for like a week, learning all about your lives and places you frequent and when I saw it was you and Frank I got so fucking mad that you guys are fine and I'm an ex inmate and I let that drive it too far." "Please, if you have one decent bone in your body you'll leave us alone. I've worked so hard to repair myself and build a life I'm finally happy with in a home I love and you've destroyed that yet again. I can't live there anymore knowing that you could show up there, I live in fear all the time." "Gee I'm sorry, I know you were happy and I want that for you I truly do but I still hurt over the fact that you chose him and not me. I love you still, even after all this time and I don't like knowing he's the one making you happy." "Bert we will never have anything, ever again. You've done too much to me for me to ever trust you again, I can't even offer you my friendship." Bert hangs his head and sighs. "Why are you here Gee?" "I'm here because the nurse called me yesterday because I'm still your emergency contact and told me what happened. After that I found out Frank did this and as much as you hurt me, I had to make sure you were going to be alright because I know what it's like to go through this." "You wanted to make sure he didn't kill me huh?" "Well that too" I tell him, smiling slightly and he chuckles. I take a deep breath before standing up and letting go of his hand. "Well I should get going. I don't want to see you or your girlfriend ever again Bert, please just let me and my family be happy." Bert nods and says "I promise. Go be happy Gee." I lean over and press a gentle kiss to his forehead before pulling away and saying "Have a good life Bert," turning and walking out the door, sighing in relief now that I've faced my fears and walked away unhurt.

I slowly make my way home, stopping to get Indian takeout on the way and when I walk in the door Ruby comes running over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. "Hi daddy" she chirps at me and I sit the bag of food down and pick her up, cuddling her to my chest and burying my face in her hair. "Love you baby girl, so much." "Love you daddy" she tells me and I put her back down, Ruby running off to sit on the couch again. I pick up the bag again and make my way into the kitchen and sitting in on the bench. I open the cupboard and reach for some plates when Franks arms snake around my waist and he pulls me back away from the cupboard and turns me around, crushing his lips to mine as his hands slide to my
lower back and pull me closer to his body. I melt under his touch and kiss back, sliding my tongue into his mouth and wrapping my arms around his neck. After a few seconds he pulls back and stares into my eyes before saying "Baby I love you, so much and I didn't mean to upset you and..." I bring my hand around and press a finger over his lips, silencing him. "Don't, let's just move past it." He looks at me confused and I say "Look I saw him ok, we made our peace and I don't wanna talk or think about it anymore." Frank frowns before saying "You did what?" "Seriously Frank just drop it, we won't be seeing him ever again." Frank sighs before nodding and leaning in to kiss me again.

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