The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

"Hey babe what are you working on?" Bert asks as he walks into the room. Gerard's head snaps up and he tries to hide his latest sketch. "You're drawing him again aren't you?" Bert snaps before walking over and snatching the sketch book from Gerard's hands, slightly tearing the page. "Give it back" Gerard demands as he stands up and reaches out for it. "No, this is beyond enough Gerard. You're meant to be my boyfriend but you're always dreaming about and drawing some other guy and I'm over it" Bert snaps as he tears the page out and throws the sketch book back at Gerard before ripping the page in half and screwing it up before throwing the two paper balls on the floor and storming out of the room. Gerard drops to his knees and scrambles to unscrunch the paper and smooth it out, joining the two pieces back together, tears forming in his eyes. "I don't know who you are but I need to find you" he whispers at the drawing of the man who had been haunting his dreams for the last four months. Gerard has no idea who he is or why he's suddenly haunting his dreams but he feels obsessed with figuring it out and he constantly feels compelled to draw his face like it will vanish from his memory before he can find him.
"Bert I love you and I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on with my head and I wish I could stop this but I can't" Gerard says when he walks into the bedroom he and Bert share. Bert keeps his back to him and starts throwing his clothes into a bag. "It's too late for apologies Gerard. I can't put up with this anymore. I'm moving out and I don't think we should talk anymore. I thought we had a future together but we're not even in a relationship anymore, the relationship you're in is with him not me." Gerard sinks onto the bed, his breath caught in his throat. "Bert you don't mean that. You can't leave, I love you" he chokes out and Bert turns to face him. "Gee baby I love you too but it's not enough anymore. You may say you love me but it's not as much as you love whoever he is and we both know it. I can't be second best anymore, it hurts too much."
Gerard drops his head to stare into his lap as tears start to fall from his eyes, knowing Bert is right. "I'm sorry" he chokes out and Bert crosses the room and gives him one last hug. "I know Gee, but we can't go on like this. Maybe you need to get some help" and with that Bert pulls away and picks up his bags. "I'll be back for the rest of my stuff when I get settled. Take care of yourself Gee" he says and then he walks out the door leaving Gerard laying there on the bed sobbing into the pillow that smells like him, now the only thing Gerard has left of their three year relationship.

Notes