I'm laying on the grass next to Gerard, our fingers linked staring at the moon. He's singing to me but its in another language and I can't understand what he's saying. I turn my head to look at him but he's gone. I sit up and frantically look around for him but can't find him. "I can't even look at you, you disgust me you filthy whore" I hear his voice call out from the darkness. I feel tears stream down my face as I realise he's justified in saying this. I start to get up off the ground when the world starts to spin and I hear a rushing in my ears. I crouch down and put my hands over my ears to block out the loud noise. It fades slowly and voices begin to drift in my ear and I feel relaxed.
"What happened to her?" That sounds like Trick. "I don't know she showed up like this and before she could tell us anything she passed out. Mom had to stitch her lip while she was unconscious." Gerard sounds like he's crying. I don't want him to cry, if I could just open my eyes I'd tell him not to.
"I'll kill whoever did this." Trick slurs slightly. He's still drunk. He won't believe me if I tell the truth and if he does Frank will get me. I absolutely can't tell them the truth. I start to feel an awful throbbing down the right side of my face and realise I'm waking up. I slowly open my eyes but my right eye won't open fully. I turn my head towards the voices and see Mikey sitting next to me. "Guys" he calls to them and they rush across the room. "Mikey go get mom" Gerard orders as he kneels beside the bed I'm on . I look around and realise I'm in Gerard's bed. I go to sit up and my head spins. I slump back onto the pillows and Gerard stands up to help me. He eases me up and props the pillows up so I can sit back against them. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and Donna enters the room. "I'm glad you're awake. Honey you need to tell us what happened so I can tell if you need further care" she tells me. I take a deep breath and look over at Gerard and then Trick. Trick looks ready to murder someone. "I needed to see Gerard and I was climbing out the window and I slipped and fell" I tell them and try to sound convincing. "Do you hurt anywhere? I could only treat what I could see earlier" she asks and I shake my head. "Just my face" I tell her and she leaves the room to get me some pain killers.
"Z we know you cut again. Why? You were doing so much better" Trick asks me as his voice cracks and he starts to cry. "I don't know I just couldn't help it" I tell him and pray that he stops asking questions soon or my story might start to unravel. "I don't want to talk about this anymore" I tell them and Trick looks ready to argue but sighs and drops it. I turn to Gerard and reach out for his hand. He slides his fingers between mine and presses gentle kisses to the left side of my face. "You scared me so badly" he whispers into my ear. "I'm sorry" I whisper back as a few tears roll down my cheeks. He gently wipes them away and presses another kiss to the left side of my mouth, avoiding my freshly stitched lip. Donna comes back in with pain killers and a glass of water with a straw. "You won't be able to open your mouth fully for a while so you need to drink with a straw" she explains when I look at the glass funny. "Thank you" I look up at her gratefully.
After I take the pills I rest back against the pillows and Trick tells me it's time to take me home. I freeze up at the thought of going back there and possibly seeing Frank again. Seeing the terror on my face Gerard tells him I can stay for a while longer and he'll bring me home later. Trick looks ready to argue but decides to let it go again and walks over to me. He leans down and plants a soft kiss in my hair and tells me to be more careful and leaves the room. Gerard stands next to the bed looking unsure so I reach out for his hand and pull him towards me. He sinks onto the bed looking exhausted. "Let's sleep" I tell him and he nods pulling the blankets back and getting into the bed with me. Just then I remember my clothes from earlier and look down not wanting to ruin his bed with blood and vomit only to see I'm not in my clothes, I'm in Gerard's. I look back up at his face and smile as much as my mouth will allow. "Your clothes are comfy" I tell him and he laughs slightly and tells me I look cute in them. I blush and he pulls me down to lay next to him. I snuggle in next to him and rest the left side of my face on his chest. He strokes my hair and asks if I want to tell him anything and I tense up before telling him no. We slowly drift off to sleep and the next thing I know Gerard is shaking me awake looking worried. "Z it's ok. It's just a dream" he's telling me while soothingly stroking my hair. I try to calm myself down feeling relief now that I know Frank is not here again. "Z who is Frank?" Gerard asks and I tense up. "You were telling him to get off you" he further explains and I feel my heart pounding in my chest. I start to cry and Gerard pulls me into his arms. "I wasn't honest before" I admit and Gerard shakes his head. "I knew you weren't babe. I went to your house, I saw your room. Please tell me what happened."
"You know the Jock I punched the first day we met?" I ask and his face goes blank for a second before he looks murderous, "Frank" he spits out. "What did he do?"
"I came home and he was there with the other guys because he works with Trick. After they were all drunk Frank came into my room and pinned me to the bed and stuck his hand over my mouth so I couldn't yell. I tried to get away and he hit me and then threatened to kill me if I told anyone and then he forced himself into my mouth" I trail off as I break down in tears. "Oh Z" Gerard murmurs as he pulls me closer but I move away from his embrace. "I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore" I tell him and he shakes his head. "Babe I don't blame you for this. He raped you it wasn't your fault. I love you" he says and I just stare at him. "What did you say" I ask not believing I heard him right. "I love you Z. You don't need to say it back but I do."
"I've never said it to anyone before" I tell him. He nods in understanding and reaches out for me again. I slide back over next to him and he wraps his arms around me. We fall asleep again and the next time I wake up he's still sleeping. I lay there looking at him for a few minutes when he opens his eyes and smiles at me. He opens his mouth to speak but I put my finger over his mouth "I love you too" I tell him and his face breaks into an even bigger smile. He pulls me against him and I start to feel ok again.

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