You Only Hear The Music When Your Heart Begins To Break

The door opens and Trick walks in. He stops when he realises what he's walked in on and turns around right as Gerard moves away from me to get off the bed. I grab his arm to stop him from moving away and he sits down next to me. I lean into him and link our fingers together as I ask Trick what he wants. Trick turns back around and looks at us for a moment before he says "Z we need to talk about last night. I think its time Gerard went home."
I shake my head and tighten my grip on Gerard's hand as I respond with "No. He's staying. I think he should be part of that conversation." I look over at Gerard and he squeezes my hand back before asking if I'm sure I want him to stay. I tell him yes and then we get off the bed and make our way downstairs to the living room with Trick. Gerard and I sit on one couch and Trick sits opposite in his favourite chair.
"So what happened last night? Are you guys sleeping together?" Trick asks and looks very awkward. "That's none of your business" I tell him while I die a little of embarassment. "It is my business. You're all I have left Z and it's my job to keep you safe." He responds, making me feel bad for snapping at him and worrying him. "I know Trick, I'm sorry but that's not something I'm prepared to discuss with you. Gerard and I only just started dating today. I went there last night because I hadn't slept in four days and I was starting to have an anxiety attack. Gerard makes me feel better." I turn my head to look at Gerard and he's looking at me with a concerned look on his face. "Z why didn't you tell me things had gotten that bad again. I knew something was up but four days, I could have gotten you help" Trick says while I'm still looking at Gerard. "I'm sorry for just showing up like that" I tell him and he wraps his arm around me and pulls me close and I take that as a sign that it's ok. I look back over to Trick and he's looking at me with concern. "I'm alright now Trick you don't need to worry" I tell him and then get up and cross the room to hug him. He pulls me in tightly and rests his cheek on top of my head, "I just want you to be ok. I can't lose you too" he whispers to me before we pull away from each other. I walk back over to Gerard and he smiles at me but still looks concerned. I reach out for his hand and he stands before taking my hand in his. "I think we need to talk" I tell him before leading our way back to the stairs and up to my room. When we get back to my room we sit on the couch sideways facing each other and he patiently waits for me to start talking. "I'm really sorry for just showing up like that last night. I know it must have seemed crazy for me to do that." I start but he shakes his head and reaches out to take my hand again. "It's fine. Really. So you didn't sleep for four days? What's going on?" He asks while stroking the back of my hand with his thumb soothingly. I take a deep breath before I explain.
"I have anxiety and depression. Sometimes it gets so bad I get insomnia which makes the anxiety seem so much worse and it screws with my head." He squeezes my hand in support and looks unsure for a moment. "Is there something you want to ask me?" I ask to let him know it's ok to say whatever he wants. "Where are your parents? Why do you live with Trick?" I take another deep breath before telling him "My father died in a car accident when I was four. My mother never remarried or anything and two years ago she got really sick and was diagnosed with cancer. About ten months ago she died." He reaches out to gently wipe away the tears I didn't even realise were falling. "So because Trick is 21 he is now my legal guardian and the only family I have left." Gerard pulls me into his lap and holds me close while rubbing a hand up and down my back. I snuggle into him and feel my breathing calm down as I feel very soothed. We sit like this for a while until I feel ok and then he asks if I would like to go to his house and hang out with Mikey for a while. I smile knowing that we are bound to have a good time as we always do and agree. We make our way downstairs again to tell Trick we're leaving before we start the short walk to Gerard's house hand in hand.

Notes

This chapter got a little intense but I think next chapter might be the time for a little sexy time.....

comments would be appreciated : )