You Only Hear The Music When Your Heart Begins To Break

I wake up alone the next morning. I sit up and look around and the room has been cleaned and when I look down I see I am still naked. I climb out of bed and pull on some clothes before making my way out into the hallway and listening for any signs of someone else in the apartment. I hear soft singing coming from the kitchen and I walk in to see Gerard washing the dishes, singing to himself. I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist and he freezes before relaxing and saying "You scared the hell out of me babe." He turns around and picks me up before sitting me on the table in the middle of the room. I wrap my legs around his waist and lean up for a kiss. Once we pull apart he asks how I slept. "Fine thanks baby" I tell him and he smiles before kissing my nose and turning back to finish the dishes. Once they're all washed he grabs my hips and pulls me to him picking me up off the table and carrying me out of the room. I wrap my legs around his waist and when we reach the bathroom he puts me down before starting the shower. Once we get naked we get in and soap each other up. Gerard gets some shampoo in his hands and lathers my hair for me, rubbing his fingernails against my scalp making me shiver and let out a contented hum. After I rinse my hair Gerard pulls me close and kisses me with the most passion I've felt in a while before pulling away and telling me "You are so beautiful baby and I'm so
fucking lucky you chose me. I can't wait to spend the rest of
my life with you. I love you with everything I have." I can't help the smile that spreads across my face as a few tears escape my eyes. "Baby I love you too, more than you'll ever know" I tell him before leaning up and sealing our lips together again.

The next weekend we travel home for Tricks wedding. I am so happy for him and he asked me to stand up there with him and Williams only sister Courtney is going to stand with him. I have been feeling unwell for days but have been keeping it to myself because I don't want to worry Gerard. In my last session with Dr. Wentz before we left the city we discussed my health and he suggested I may want to take a pregnancy test. I got upset over this as I haven't had unprotected sex with Gerard and after the night with Zack there is a possibility it could be his. I broke down in Dr. Wentz's office as I shared this information and he tried to calm me down by telling me how unlikely that would be and that the only way to know for sure would be to take a test. I have been holding out but my mind is screaming at me to take one and I eventually cave.
Its the day before the wedding and Gerard is spending the night at his mothers so he can spend time with her and Mikey. I walk to the drugstore and purchase four pregnancy tests before going back to Trick and Williams. I take the first test and it comes out positive. I have a mini freak out in the bathroom before deciding that I can't trust just one test and I will wait a few hours before taking another one. By the time morning hits I have four positive pregnancy tests and a massive headache from the no sleep I got. It is 7am and Trick isn't getting married until 4pm so I get dressed and leave the house to go to the clinic. When I get in with a doctor she asks me to take another test, which also comes out positive. Then she asks me to lay down on the exam table while she performs an ultrasound. When the picture comes up on the screen I can't see anything until she tells me I am definatly pregnant before pointing out a small mark in the middle of the screen telling me that that's my baby. I stare in disbelief until she starts to talk again and I tear my eyes away from the screen to focus on what she's telling me. She tells me I appear to be around 6 weeks along and I think for a second before letting out a sigh of relief when I realise that this completely rules out any possibility that it could be Zacks. The doctor prints me out a picture of the ultrasound and I leave the office and head back to Tricks feeling overwhelmingly confused about what to do.

At the reception I have calmed down and decided I am happy about the turn of events and hope Gerard will be too. I refuse the champagne offered to me and instead stick to juice. Gerard asks me why and I tell him I'm not in the mood for drinking. Halfway through the night I feel sick and I rush off to the ladies room barely making it before emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
Once I come back out Gerard rushes over to me and asks if I'm ok. I tell him I'm fine, trying to keep the news to myself so I don't ruin Tricks day and he takes my hand and asks me to dance. Ryan and Brendon's band is playing and they start a slow song and Gerard wraps his arms around my waist as we start to slow dance. "Baby tell me what's going on please, you are starting to worry me" he pleads and I feel my self control crumbling. I rest my head on his shoulder as I ask if he loves me. "Of course baby, what's going on?" He asks again and I lean back and let the words tumble out of my mouth. "I'm pregnant." Gerard's hands drop from my waist and he takes a step back just staring at me. My mind immediately screams that he's leaving me now and I turn to leave before he grabs my arm stopping me. "Baby are you sure?" He asks and I nod "I have an ultrasound photo from this morning to prove it" I tell him and his face breaks into a massive grin before he pulls me to him again, telling me how happy he is.

Notes