You Only Hear The Music When Your Heart Begins To Break

Halfway up the stairs Gerard gets impatient and throws me over his shoulder and hurries his way to my room. When we get there he throws me on the bed and starts tearing at my clothes. It feels like his hands are touching me everywhere at once and I get lost in the sensation for a moment before snapping back to reality and tearing at his clothes too. Once we're naked his lips attach to my neck and he trails kisses down past my collar bones, over my boobs and down my stomach planting sucking kisses over my hip bones, no doubt leaving hickies over the fading bruises from his fingers from the last time we got rough. I'm finding it harder and harder to keep quiet and he knows that so he reaches up and clamps his hand over my mouth. "Don't make a sound" he hisses at me as he comes back up to suck at my neck again, marking me. I find myself so turned on by his dominance that I move my hips to rub up against his leg that's inbetween mine. He pulls away from my neck and groans slightly at the sight of how wrecked I am already underneath him. His hand is removed from my mouth only to be replaced by his mouth and he starts biting at my lips and tongue as we kiss. I moan into his mouth as I feel his finger sliding inside me getting me ready for his dick. He adds another after a few moments and works them in and out of me before pulling out and reaching for a condom. Once he has it on he kneels between my knees and grabs my hips forcefully pulling me down to him as he sits back on his legs and pulls me up so I am kneeling over his dick before lining up and pulling me down onto him as he thrusts up. He doesn't give me any time to adjust just continues to work in and out of me at a fast pace. I lean forward to bury my face in his neck to muffle my moans before he grabs my hair and removes my face from his neck . He pulls further so my neck is bent back slightly and stares at me for a moment before pulling out of me and pushing me back down onto the bed. He climbs over me and re enters as he grabs my wrists and forces my hands above my head, pining me down knowing I love every second of it. After a few more thrusts the mood changes and Gerard slows his pace and releases my wrists sliding his hands up to link his fingers with mine. He leans down closer and lays his body against mine, pressing light kisses to my forehead. "You're mine Z" he claims and I don't know whether to take it as a romantic gesture or a sign of aggressive ownership due to what happened with William. "I love you so much" he continues as his lips find mine and he continues to gently thrust in and out of me.
After we finish Gerard pulls out but doesn't move away keeping me underneath him. He gently strokes my hair and tells me he loves me again. "I love you too" I tell him and he climbs off me to get rid of the condom. I lay there confused about what's going on in Gerard's head. He is starting to scare me a little. After he comes back we redress and settle down to sleep as I find myself tired out now. I roll over so my back is towards Gerard and instead of giving me space he plasters himself to my back and wraps his arm around my waist, pining me to him. I close my eyes and hope he snaps out of this soon as exhaustion wins and I slip into sleep.

Things go back to normal the next day and I decide to shrug off what happened and everything goes smoothly for a few days. The next friday William is having a birthday party and he invites me and Gerard. At first Gerard doesn't want to go so I tell him that I'll just go alone then and he is quick to change his mind. When we get to the party he grabs hold of my hand and won't let go. I sigh internally and we get drinks and find a couch to sit on. After a while I tell Gerard I need to use the bathroom and leave the room. On my way back I run into William and Ryan and stop to wish him a happy birthday. The three of us talk for a few minutes, joking and laughing before I hear a voice behind me say "This doesn't look like the bathroom" in a sarcastic tone. I turn around and face Gerard as I explain I was on my way back from the bathroom. He looks really pissed off so I say bye to both boys and give William a hug. I turn to leave with Gerard when he grabs my arm, digging his fingers into me and hisses in my ear "Why is it that every time I turn around you're talking to or touching William?" I try to shrug off his grip on me and remain calm as it is obvious that he is a few drinks ahead of me since I left for the bathroom. He tightens his grip and it's really starting to hurt so I ask him to let go. "Why? So you can run back to William?" He spits at me and I shake my head. "There's nothing going on between me and William. He's like my brother. Why are you acting like this? You're hurting me please let go" I beg him and he loosens his grip but doesn't let go. "I'm sorry baby. I just love you so much" he murmurs as he nuzzles his face into my neck. "It's ok. Let's go have fun ok" I offer to make peace and he smiles at me and takes my hand again.
As the night goes on Gerard continues to get drunker and when I ask him to slow down he snaps and tells me he's fine. Trick comes over and asks to talk to me so I get up from the couch we are sitting on and walk outside with him. "So I just heard from some other guys that Gerard grabbed you before" he tells me and I hear the rage in his voice. "Trick it's fine we just had a little arguement and he didn't grab me, he was just touching my arm. It's fine" I tell him and he accepts it and tells me to go have fun. When I walk back inside I round the corner to return to the living room and I am stopped in my tracks. There is a girl sitting in Gerard's lap grinding down on him while they make out. I stand there unable to move or look away and I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest and stomped on. The girl climbs out of his lap and holds out her hand and he takes it as he stands up and they make their way across the room towards me stumbling due to how drunk they are. Gerard looks up and sees me and he looks regretful for a second before his face changes to pure hatred and he says "Don't look at me like that. If you can fuck William behind my back then who are you to fucking judge me?" At this point the tears I've been holding back start to pour down my face and I turn and flee from the room. As I rush through the hallway towards the front door William stops me and asks me what's wrong. "Gerard is just going upstairs to fuck another girl. Happy birthday William, I have to go" I tell him as I pull out of his caring grip and run off into the night.

Notes