The World Is Ugly, But You're Beautiful To Me

Frank's POV

~~~

I was still having trouble absorbing what Gerard had said, Fallyn's his sister, I'd been kissing Gerard's sister?

There was no way he could be lying either, I'd gotten a chance to see into his head while he was talking.
I saw the little girl with her bright sea green eyes lit up.

It was Fallyn alright, I could recognise her anyplace, anytime.

Then to back up what I'd seen in Gerard's head there was Fallyn's memories, slightly hazy but clear enough for me to know it was Gerard when I saw him from her eyes.

That girl, that beautiful, talented amazing girl who looked like some kind of snow angel was his sister?
They didn't even look the same, the only thing they had in common was the same skin colour and that wasn't saying much.

But seriously, what the fucking, fuckity fuck of all fucking fuck!?
This isn't something you just forget to fucking mention.

At first I thought he was just being a domineering douche who possibly had some real and genuine reason for him to not want me with her.
Turns out he did and it sounds fucking crazy!

The worst part is the the didn't mention it to anyone on the bus, not me, not Ray, not Bob, he didn't even tell Mikey who deserved to know more than any of us.

Fallyn was his sister as well and he should have been able to know immediately not be left in the dark like the rest of us.
No Gerard just decided to be a selfish bastard and kept it to himself instead, he let me fall in love with his sister.

No, wait I didn't fall in love his sister.
I fell in love with Fallyn, the girl who I knew was on the bridge before I even saw her, one I jumped off a friggen bridge to save, the girl I've revived after death twice.

I cleaned her up after she puked her guts out not Gerard and he knew the whole time that she was his sister, why wasn't he doing it?

I took care of her and was friends with her, only knowing she was a girl who had some problems but one of the most beautiful smiles you will ever see.

She wouldn't even be on the bus if she wasn't his sister, he would have dropped her off in the next town and we would have never seen her again.

What he doesn't realise is that I would have stayed with her.

Yeah it's perfectly fine when she's just some random chick standing on the side of a bridge but the second he finds out she's blood she gets the last unicorn on earth status.

"I used to show you how to play the guitar. It was the only time you'd sit still and listen, you were really good at it and I got you, your own. That's why you're good at playing, you learnt a long time ago." Gerard said to Fal's and I felt a little disappointed, I'd thought I taught her everything.

No I found out the most I did was refresh her memories of what Gerard had already shown her.
There goes my amazing guitar teacher skills.

"You used to watch horror movies with me all the time." Mikey murmured, an unusual smile on his face, proof he had the ability to be happy.

"If she's you sister then how come you let her jump off the bridge?" I asked, it seemed to be the one factor everyone was completely ignoring.

"I didn't know it was her. I got the feeling of where she was but I had no idea she was the one standing on the bridge. She was six last time I saw her." I didn't care, if they had his bond Gerard seemed to believe so strongly in then he should have known it was his sister immediately.

I know I wouldn't miss something like that.

Mikey was an exception, he would have been about nine or something, so his memory of her might be a little more hazy.

Gerard would have been about twelve or thirteen and he was responsible for her when she left.
He doesn't get to forget.

"So when did you know it was her then? How long have you been keeping it from everyone, even Mikey?" No matter how hard I tried I could feel anger leaking through my calm facade and Fallyn held my hand to calm me down.

Her palm was warm against mine and I took a deep breath, trying to focus on just that.

"I knew ever since she said her name, Gerard told me, choosing to ignore how angry I was at him and turning to her, "you got called Misty by that woman but your name is really Fallyn, I think some part of your brain knew it and that's why you introduced yourself as Fallyn."

"I just can't believe that I've actually found you, I never thought I'd see you again. Mom and Dad are gonna be so happy when you come home especially when it's so close to Christmas." Gerard's voice snapped me back to reality and I silently watched him hug her.

As happy as Gerard and Mikey looked I was apparently the only one who noticed how upset she seemed.

"It's a shame Grandma Elena won't get to see you, you liked her a lot. Do you remember how she got you to sing all the time?" Mikey asked her and she shook her head, messing up her hair a little.

"It'll come back to you, I don't know how you forgot but the memories will still be in there." Gerard looked like he was feeling pretty sure she'd remember everything.

Gerard released her then stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans before sighing with a light smile on his face. It's nice to know he's happy about all the secrets he's kept from everyone.

"How about we all go inside, I'll make you something to eat and we can talk about some more things." Gerard suggested to her, me and the guys automatically stood up but she stayed sitting.

"Um, I think I'll stay out here for a little while. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed, you go inside and I'll be right in." She said, taking a deep, tired sounding breath and resting her head in her hands.

At the same time Gerard and Mikey opened their mouths to speak but realised she didn't want to talk and headed into the bus.

Ray and Bob said something mentally to each other about wanting to know what was going on before following the Way brothers.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" I offered and she lifted her gaze from the ground to me, her sea green eyes briefly looking dull from the days events but taking on a certain shine for a moment.

"No, I'll be fine. I really need to be alone right now. Thank you though." She mumbled and I nodded, I understood that she'd been through a lot today.

I shot her a smile before turning and walking up the bus steps, hearing the door hiss shut behind me as Gerard hit the close button.

It'd been one very long day even for me and I didn't sleep that often, I was exhausted and I could only imagine what she was going through right now.

It must be horrible for her to find out so suddenly that Gerard and Mikey were her brothers.
I don't think me kissing her would have helped any either, I knew she liked it but she also appeared confused.

I didn't like seeing her stressed out or upset, I wanted to take her away from everything so she'd be okay again but life wasn't that easy.

Personally I think my brain was still catching up on what had happened in the snow, I'd kissed her and she kissed me back, I can't believe my luck.
Then on top of it was my emotions hitting me like an avalanche of rocks, making me realise just how hopelessly in love with her I was.

I'd never been in love with anyone before, sure I've loved people and cared for a girl or two but it was nothing even close to what I felt for her.

It would be similar to comparing a matchstick to a bonfire.

There was just her in my life, it's like I've never cared about anyone before, not me, not my friends, not even my family.

In the brief time I'd been kissing her I'd come to the realisation that I'd throw everything I've ever had or ever will have away for Fallyn.

Speaking of throwing I wouldn't mind getting some revenge on Gerard for throwing me around.
I'd landed on a stick thanks to him and it cut my side open, it fricken hurt too not that he'd care.

It seems that I've been getting more people inflicted wounds since Fallyn's been on the bus.

My nose has been broken by Fallyn which was okay since I at least got to kiss her and she was sorry then Gerard had intentionally broken my foot on stage and thrown me around.

"For fucks sake, stop thinking about her. That's my little sister, she's Mikey's little sister too." He really needed to stop saying that, I'd gotten the idea a while ago and now he was just repeating himself.
Like a broken record.

"Oh and something else, what the fuck were you doing kissing my sister?!" Wonderful, Gerard's decided to have a temper tantrum, this was getting ready to go downhill at any moment.

"I didn't know she was your sister, Mikey didn't even fucking know so don't you dare try accusing me of making out with your sister. She's Fallyn as far as I'm concerned." I was tired of him complaining all the time and I was even more tired of him yelling at me as if I were his slave.

"I still told you not to touch her, first you bite her, fucking feed off her and now you kiss her. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Oh for fucks sake, I've been around Gerard long enough to know that he's broken a few rules.

The 'no drinking from fans' one we had, well he's broken than a fair few times, didn't seem to regret it much either.

"I didn't feed off her, stop making it sound so cheap and disgusting and you want to know what's wrong with me?!" I stood up from where I'd been sitting on the couch, feeling my eyes automatically narrow.

I honestly didn't give a fuck anymore that Gerard was my friend or the lead singer of the band or whatever.
He was just being a complete asshole and I was tired of it.

"Guys calm down." Bob said, standing up as well and walking over to Gerard, trying to calm him down.
After all I wasn't the one looking like I was about to commit homicide.

Fuck it, he can try if he wants to.

"I'll tell you exactly what's wrong with me! I'm in lo-"

Gerard took a step forward only to be immediately stopped by Bob who was much taller and much stronger.

"Don't you dare finish that fucking sentence!" Gerard yelled at me, as if I'd be intimidated or actually care, I didn't anymore.

I had a girl sitting right outside the bus who cared for me, maybe even loved if I was lucky, and I didn't need or want his approval.
Fallyn was the only one I cared about.

"Who do you think you are telling me not to talk?! You're her brother sure but only by blood, she doesn't know you for who you are. As far as she's concerned you were a kid who was mean to her and you're a singer in a band." I knew Gerard well and saw him flinch at the carefully picked words I'd used.

He took a step back from Bob, not necessarily looking like he was calming down but maybe thinking a little.

"She knows me as a person and in case it's not obvious so likes me for who I am. I never lied to her, not once. How long were you planning to keep it from her that you and Mikey are her brothers?!" I didn't even bother not yelling, I'd entered a zone and whether he wanted to hear it or not Gerard was going to know everything I'd thought while he was being a jerk.

He's not me, he doesn't understand how hard it is for me to know I've made my best friend upset.
If he thought about someone besides himself he'd realise how I felt.
But Gerard's a selfish bastard so, yeah.

Gee want silent for a moment staring at the ground before his sass, more like anger, took over again.

"I was gonna wait till Jersey so Mom and Dad could tell her!" So he was going to wait that long to tell his long lost sister that he loves so friggen much the truth?
That's nice.

He could have at least told everyone, Mikey didn't even know and that's hardly fair.

"Well you can hardly blame me for lov- liking her you could have at least told everyone on the bus." I said, sharing exactly what was on my mind with the whole bus and everyone (with the exception of Gerard) kept their mouths shut.

"Now if you'll excuse me there's something I'd like to tell her." I smiled at them, probably making myself look like a douchebag but their opinions mean nothing now.

'And while I'm out there, how 'bout you go fuck yourself.' I added in mind speak before turning around and marching down the bus, towards the doors.

"Don't you dare. What do you think she'll do it you come out with a line like that?"

'And what will you do if she doesn't like you?'
His words sent a bullet of doubt through my mind.
Why do I always let other people's words get to me.

"I-I don't know." I stuttered, thinking of how I'd feel if I told her I loved her and she said she didn't love me back.

"She's a kid, do you think she's ready to deal with what you wanna say?"

I instantly thought of all the time I've spent with Fallyn, how she'd giggle and joke.
Her hilarious reaction to walking in on me after I'd gotten out of the shower and hadn't gotten dressed.

She'd screamed and fallen onto the couch then refused to look until I put clothes on.

The funniest goofball thing she's done would have to be when she overdosed on Skittles and went completely hyper.

She'd been running around, singing at the top of her lungs, painting her face and hugging everyone.

I remember watching her from the side of that stage, chatting to the roadies, bouncing around and singing along to every word.

It'd been almost impossible to not start laughing my ass off onstage, I'd actually missed a couple of notes when she'd distracted me.

Fallyn was like a kid though, she bounced around and acted like one but at the same time she was wise beyond her years.
Fallyn's experienced so much and it's definitely effected her but she's never let it change her.
She's like me.

"I don't know, how about I go find out?" I grinned at Gerard, rage flashing across his briefly calm face and Bob having to put his hands on his shoulders to stop him from starting a fight with me.

I turned around and walked out of the living room and through the kitchen, towards the front of the bus and Fallyn.
My Fallyn.

"Greg, do you think you could get the doors" I asked him, pausing at the top of the stairs and facing our bus driver who'd been occupied by his mobile.

"Sure, no problem." He pressed a button and the doors hissed, slowly opening as I walked down the stairs.

Fallyn's got to love me, there's always been that spark between us even if I
took my time to notice it.

She kissed me back, I need to remember that no matter now much I doubt myself.

In the hotel when she was being chased by Evangeline she came to my room.
Granted none of the guys were at the hotel but she probably didn't know that.

But Fal's suggested we share the bed together or it could have just been her being nice.

Ugh brain, shut up.

"Fallyn, I was thinking abo-"

She wasn't there.

"Fallyn?"

Did she go to the other side of the bus or maybe go further into the snow to make another snowman?

I walked around the bus, sticking my hands in my pockets looking for the girl I was planning to profess my love to.

"Fal's?" She wasn't there, I could feel myself beginning to panic.
The thought of losing her isn't something I can handle.

Alright, I just need to calm down and think, we're in the snow, there's not that many places she could go and she hasn't got a car.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and thinking specifically of her heartbeat that I could recognise in a crowd of a million.

The world around me went so silent, a human would be able to hear a pin drop.
I took a deep breath and let all the sounds in, the world going completely chaotic.

One at a time I filtered out the random noises, erasing the sound of the trees, wind and blabbering of the guys in the bus.

I heard a single heart beating but it wasn't her's, it didn't sound right.
It was just the bus drivers which I couldn't care less about in comparison to Fallyn.

I could feel myself on the verge of panicking when my mind replayed everything she'd ever said about suiciding.

'I've thought this through and I have a good reason to kill myself.'

'I'm going to end my life still, but it was nice of you to care enough to try and save me.'

'Why should I save myself because everyone around me is gonna die at some stage.'

'Might as well enjoy myself before this is over. I'm officially living life on a day to day basis.'

'For all I know I'll kill myself tonight and that will be the end of me forever.'

No, she couldn't have done that.
I thought she wouldn't.
I thought I'd changed her mind.

Fallyn seemed so happy and she was smiling.
This is my fault, I should have stayed out here with her.

"Fallyn!" I yelled once last time, hoping she'd magically appear and it'd turn out she was right behind me.

Nothing happened, she was still gone and I was still feeling on the verge of having a panic attack.

I know I'm not on best terms with Gerard at the moment but this is a problem all the guys need to know about right now.

In seconds I want from standing in the snow to being inside with the band who appeared to be in the middle of having an argument.

"Guys we have a problem." I told them and Gerard went from looking frustrated to pissed off.

"Like what? My best friend's in love with my sister?!" Gerard went to stand up from his spot on the couch but Mikey put a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to sit down again.

"No but your sister is missing." I told him rudely to cover up how scared I felt, I was terrified that I'd find her but not in time to save her.
She'd been so close to death when I stopped her the first time.

"What?! Where is she?!" Gerard stood up this time, the group wouldn't have been able to stop him even if they tried.

"I don't know she was outside and now she's just gone." The band disappeared from the room, there one moment and gone the next.

I followed them out into the snow where they were looking all over the place. Searching for Fallyn who'd disappeared without a trace in the middle of nowhere.

"Where could she have gone?" Bob asked quietly, walking back from the trees and rubbing his head.

"I don't know."

I wandered over to the bus, sitting down on the steps and dropping my head in my hands, just like I'd seen Fallyn do earlier.

With a sigh I leant back and rested against the bus and put my hand on a step, trying to brace myself and not start crying.

I know it was stupid for me to say I wanted to cry but there was a very real chance I'd seen Fallyn for the last time.

If she's gone to do what I suspect then I won't get to see her ever again.

"Frankie, is this yours?" Ray threw a object to me and I easily caught it, staring at the black cellphone in my palm.

"No," I mumbled, pushing the button with the screen glowing to life, an image of us with Fal's on the screen, "it's Fallyn's."

I unlocked the screen, the first thing showing up being a webpage with a huge headline standing out.

'Town of Blackford mourns local, memorial to be held at schools auditorium.'
A smile of hope came to my face when an idea flickered into my head.

"Guys! I think I know where she went!" I called to them and they were immediately standing around me, ready to listen.

"'After the town shocking death of local high school student Katelyn Sommers a memorial date has finally been announced. The twenty-second of December, it will be held at nine in the morning.' That's got to be where she went right?" I looked at them, specifically Gerard who had a frown plastered to his face.

"Yeah, that's where she'll be, it's the best chance we've got anyway." No one was arguing with him there, especially me, I'd do anything it'd take to see her again.

"What are we waiting for then?" I jumped up, running into the bus and only pausing for a moment to talk to Greg.

"Is the bus gonna work now?" I asked him and he nodded, starting up the engine when he saw the guys getting on.

Mikey, Ray and Bob passed me, heading into the living room and I stopped Gerard by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Gerard, can we have a truce? Just until we find Fallyn, please?" Gerard clenched his jaw, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes before opening them again.

"Fine but don't talk to me, at all." He shrugged my hand away and continued into the bus, leaving me standing there, feeling sick to the gut with worry for Fallyn.

Not wanting to be around them at the moment I turned around and went to the drivers cabin where I knew Greg wouldn't try to talk to me.

I sat down in the passengers seat, putting my legs up on the dashboard and grabbing a set of headphones from the side pocket of the door.

Getting some glances from the bus driver I plugged the headphones into Fallyn's mobile, wanting to listen to her music that was slightly different to the kind I'd normally listen to.

I hit play on the music, listening to the same song she would have been hearing only a few hours ago.

'Lace up your shoes, ayo ayo, here's how we do.
Run baby run, don't ever look back.
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance.
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be.
Run baby run, forever we'll be. You and me.'

I sighed, closing my eyes and trying to sleep, hopefully until Blackford so I could miss this horrible sickness.

Notes