S-I-N, I, S-I-N

I’d been sitting outside with Iris for the past few hours, not much had seemed to happen aside from the line getting longer and longer to the point of the queue disappearing around the corner of the music hall and I don’t know where everyone was after that but I wouldn't be surprised if there were a couple hundred of girls and guys waiting for the doors to the venue to open.

After long enough Iris had finally come down from her high and we were able to pass the rest of the afternoon talking about normal things like our classes, what homework was most recently done and how the school play was slowly coming along; very, very slowly.

While I was struggling to simply make myself go to the rehearsals for the play Iris had memorized nearly every single one of her lines and was at the school theater, waiting to practice with all the others before the teacher had even arrived not to mention that I think she may have added everything Wendy was supposed to say to her huge mental file as well. It was almost scary how quickly she could memorize things, she was like some kind of genius but it’s not like I’m missing a few pieces either.

Of course most of my teachers must think there’s something up with me since nearly every paper I've turned in has gotten me an A, I think they've mistakenly labelled me as an anarchist rebel that wants to see society fall into shambles. As far as everyone else knows I haven’t even done anything that bad, just had sex without thinking about protection but I guess since this is a Christian school they don’t exactly want their students sleeping around all the time.

I suppose the snide comments I’d drop every now and then weren't all that great either…neither was vomiting in the math teachers trash bin.

“Lain, Lainey, check it out.” Iris shook me hard enough to get my attention and I looked at the man who was standing outside the buildings double doors with his arms crossed and what seemed to be a small radio attached to his shoulder.

“Who’s he?” I asked, sitting up a little straighter to get a better look although it was a little difficult since it was starting to get dark outside and he had a black cap on.

“I don’t know, he came out here a couple of minutes ago. Do you think he’s with the band?” She wondered, somewhat nervously tucking a piece of hair behind her ear before getting to her knees and staring very shamelessly at the man; likely wondering the same thing as everyone else who had noticed his presence, if Pierce The Veil were anywhere nearby since he looked so official.

“Maybe,” I pulled my phone from my pocket and read the time on the screen, “it’s not like he could be out here to open the doors, it’s an hour before anything happens.” It was an little while from ticking over to six which meant that everyone should start getting excited but not too excited since there was going to be a little more time spent out on the cold sidewalk.

Then as if he were doing it only for the purpose of proving me wrong the man spoke into the radio at his shoulder then stepped forward, talking to the line of teenagers, “All red ticket holders are allowed inside to visit the bar and collect their passes.”

“Have we got red tickets?” Iris whispered, leaning over to me as I reached into my shorts to retrieve them and check, I couldn't remember having any kind of tickets that would get me a pass but I wouldn't object if it turned out I did.

I looked into the envelope Gerard and given me as a Christmas present and was rather taken aback when I saw the vivid red, don’t tell me he somehow managed to get me VIP tickets over the regular ones.

“Yeah, apparently we have,” I mumbled as I stood, pulling Iris with me, the both of us saying quick goodbyes to Nat, Jenn and Poppy who we’d ended up exchanging numbers with while we’d been talking about music and the concert.

What I found the most entertaining about Iris that day was the wide-eyed expression on Iris’ face, when a VIP lanyard was put around her neck and we were led to a small bar in the corner of the completely empty music hall with a couple of other girls and guys who had the same bright, excited faces as my friend and likely me.

No matter how much I tried to reassure her that everything was completely okay Iris refused to let go of my arm and clung on so tight it felt as though my circulation was being cut off, then again we’d just been invited inside nearly an hour before the doors were meant to be opened.

“Iris, could you please um, release the death grip? My arm is sorta going purple.” Her viselike hold loosened enough for me to pull my arm away and I walked her to one of the chairs in the corner of the room, getting her to sit down and take a couple of slow breaths so she could focus instead of spending the rest of the night looking like she was on the verge of hyperventilating. “How about you stay here, you try not to pass out and I’ll get you a drink like Cola, sound good?” I asked and Iris quickly nodded, putting her hand on her chest in an attempt to calm her heart.

I wandered over to the bar and talked to the man standing behind it, asking for a lemonade since I knew there was no way Iris would willingly drink any kind of alcohol, even when she was incredibly freaked out. The wait was short since everyone else in the room was occupied by each other and had little interest in the drinks and once it was ready and in one of the red plastic cups I saw so often in America I walked back to Iris and held it out.

“Thank you,” she sighed before eagerly taking the drink and gulping it down nearly all in one go before she looked up at me. “I feel like something bad is going to happen. You know that feeling, right? Do you feel like something bad is going on?” I sat beside my friend and put my hand on her shoulder.

“I don’t think anything bad is going to happen, yes you’re panicking over this like no one else I've ever met before but just stay calm and relaxed.” She nodded and finished her drink before abandoning the empty cup beside her and smoothing her hair down for the third time that minute, her hands shaking ever so slightly.

“But you don’t understand, I looked up what VIP meant on my phone…we’re going to meet them, all of them. Vic, Jaime, Tony, Mike, they’re going come out here and we’re going to speak with them and take photos with them. We’ll see them do their soundcheck. What if they don’t like me, what if they think I’m crazy?” I laughed slightly and shook my head at her questions, I had already gotten the idea that we would be able to meet them since we were VIP and of course I was excited but I was a little more resilient when it came to panic attacks than Iris and I knew I would be able to keep my emotions in check for the most part.

“Listen, they've met a lot of fans before and I’m sure you’ll seem completely sane. Besides you've come here to see them, you love their music just like everyone else in this room.” That seemed to calm her down a little and her breathing slowed enough to make her look normal as she stared at the floor, tapping her fingers on her legs then after a little while looking up once more as if she heard something I hadn't.

“Father Way?” She murmured as she stared into the distance and I followed her gaze to see the very same priest I’d been talking to this morning walking towards us but seeming a bit more formal than usual, wearing clothes closer to what I might see at the school, black button-up, skinny jeans, boots and that leather jacket I saw him wear so often.

“Hello, Iris, you’re unusually dressed. I see neither of you didn’t have a problem getting in with your tickets. Lainey, you look…very, very nice.” He came to a stop in front of us and smiled at me before smiling at Iris who shifted in her seat before smiling back, seeming to be more concerned by the inevitability of Pierce The Veil coming out here than what our schools priest was doing in a currently restricted area.

“Hey, Gerard. Why are you, uh, here and not at the school doing your priest stuff?” His relaxed and easy smile became a little smaller before changing to something much more awkward as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Pierce The Veil’s opening act cancelled at last moment for some reason or another and they nodded someone who was put together and available tonight so they found Frank’s number on a flyer and gave him a call, now here we are.” It only took a glance at Iris for me to remember that I’d never told her how Gerard played in a band and I stood up before giving her a quick and simple explanation then turning back to him.

“You’re kidding right?”

“No, I’m deadly serious. Frank’s chatting with Vic and Tony as we speak, do you want to come and talk to them?” He asked, gesturing behind himself with a thumb and looking over his shoulder as if the bad was about to walk out all of a sudden.

“But isn’t that what the red tickets are for?” Iris piped up, rising from her chair and coming a little closer to us, a curious tone in her voice as she spoke.

“Yeah but if you come with me then you’ll be able to talk to them for a little longer.” At that point I’d expected Iris to enter some fierce internal debate but instead her response was very short and simple, a squeal of delight that drew the attention of a few people then nodding so quickly I thought she’d turned into a bobble-head.

Gerard took me by the hand before pulling me towards the curtained area he emerged from and I only just managed to grab Iris before she was out of reach and then we were both moving towards the restricted zone that even I with all my fabulous lying wouldn’t even be able to get into under normal circumstances that didn't involve a priest who secretly played in a band.

There was a security guard standing in our way that moved to the side when he was flashed Gerard’s pass and even more people milling around in what seemed to be the backstage area that the band would wait in before going out to do anything whether it was a soundcheck or the concert itself.

For a moment I had thought Iris would be relaxed about the whole thing, that she had finally calmed down enough to think and speak like a rational person with no shaking, speedy breathing, face fanning or death grips but I had been proven wrong once we’d stopped in front of a door clearly labelled as ‘Pierce The Veil’.

“No, no forget it. I can’t talk to them,” she protested, stopping Gerard as he reached for the doorknob, stepping away from me and staring at the two of us, looking somewhat like a panicked deer in the center of a highway.

“It’s gonna be fine, I’ll be talking to them as well and look at me; I’m perfectly fine aren't I?” I was trying my best to make her feel better, most of the time telling her that I was going to be around would straighten out her nerves but apparently not in this situation.

“But you’re confident, you’re go out there and get what you want. You have sex and drink and swear, you do all these things I wouldn’t do and I know this is another one of these times. You will talk to them then you’ll become friends or something, things come so easy for you but they don’t for me…I’m going back to the uh, outside.” She tried to shuffle away but I’d already reached out and grabbed her, I knew Iris well enough to tell when she needed to be forced into something, like auditioning for Miss Darling and this was one of those times.

“You’re gonna love me for this later,” I told her, keeping a firm grip on my friends hand as Gerard opened the door and revealed the band we had come here to see, unsurprisingly they were acting like completely normal people and sitting on a couch, talking to Gerard’s bandmates.

Also unsurprisingly once the band was in sight Iris started shaking as if she was naked in the middle of the arctic and the hand I once held now clenched mine, slightly slippery from how much she was sweating.

“Hi, are these the friends you were talking about, Gerard?” Vic asked, standing up and walking over to our small group of three that had moved further into the room once Gerard had closed the door.

“Yeah. Vic, this is Lainey and Iris. Iris and Lainey, this is Vic.”

The room was silent as the lead singer of Pierce The Veil held out his hand, waiting for a handshake from either me or Iris who was shaking so hard I could almost feel my teeth clacking together then as if she’d burst into a ball of emotion Iris started crying loudly with her hand letting go of mine so she would be able to hide her face.

“Sweetie, it’s alright,” he told her, hurrying forward and pulling Iris into a hug which only caused her to cry that much harder, not that it seemed even possible at that moment.

Although I could easily tell she was stressed I couldn't help but smile when I saw Iris get hugged by Vic, Pierce The Veil meant a lot to her; to be honest it was even more dear to her than to me and it made me happy to see her meet one of the people she spent nearly all of her time talking about. As she day of the concert had gotten closer and closer she'd talked about the band more and more, most often without pause and there'd even be some nights when she'd keep me awake, telling me all the things she wanted to say to them if she could.

If I remember right she'd even gone to the lengths of writing a letter full of all the things she'd probably forget in the moment, I don't know where the letter is now but I wouldn't be surprised if she's tucked it into her shorts or it's in her jacket; she wasn't the kind of person that forgot things all that easily.

"Thank you, thank you so much," I heard Iris mumble, "your music is the only thing that makes me feel better." My heart hurt ever so slightly at her words, acting as a reminder of how uneasy my friends life had been.

The bullying at Rosehill was the least of her worries when compared to the further drama and problems that waited for her at home; a mother working three jobs, a brother that had thrown his life down the drain, a father who may or may not be banging his secretary and the constant threat of losing her scholarship if she gets any grade below a B. I may not have the easiest of all lives and my parents may be religious nuts but I'm grateful to have that in the very least.

"No, thank you for listening to our music. You don't need to cry so much, it's okay." He was patting her rubbing her back to calm her down and it surprisingly seemed to work since her breathing seemed to slow and the loud crying gradually subsided.

She stepped away, sniffling and wiping her pointy face with the sleeve of her jacket, "you're taller than I thought you'd be," she noted with a nervous chuckle as she awkwardly clenched her hands behind her back, looking up at Vic who was smiling at her.

"Na, I think you're just short," Vic laughed and ruffled her blonde hair before gesturing to the couch. "Do you want to sit down, talk with everyone else?" He asked and she nodded, shuffling to the large couch and sitting as far to the end of it, as far from Jaime, Mike and Tony as possible, with her hands in her lap.

Vic smiled at her for a moment before turning back to me and once he had I stepped forward to shake his hand, "as Gerard said, I'm Lainey, Lainey Colfort. What's he been saying about me?" I wondered, glancing at the priest who was sitting on the arm of the couch, right next to Ray, his bands lead guitarist; of course he was paying no attention to me or Iris who was now being talked to by Tony.

"Not much, he mentioned you were a good friend and that you liked the band; just the basics." Vic shrugged and dropped his hand by his side. "Have you and her actually been outside like all day?" It felt kinda embarrassing to be reminded I'd been out for the snow waiting to simply see a band perform.

"Yeah, about seven hours...eight maybe. I haven't really been counting."

"Shit, that's hardcore, in shorts too. It's fucking freezing out there, I ran in here when I got out of the car." I understood that way too well, I'd been wearing nearly five shirts when I first when I got off the plane here, I think the only reason I could be out in the cold now was because all the food I'd been eating lately, I've gained at least five pounds.

"I'm also from Chicago and it can get pretty cold there sometimes. You also get used to it after a while," I told him, thinking of the heavy snow that would fall over my neighborhood during winter, it'd often get so bad that there'd be a snow-day announced and I'd be able to go crawl back into my bed and sleep until the next day.

"Well we've got a solid six months travelling around Europe and the UK so I really fucking hope so. I'm worried one of my fingers are gonna snap off." I couldn't help but laugh at that, I was constantly checking my body for frostbitten pieces.

"My advice is that you invest in some really thick gloves." I actually had a pair of mittens waiting for me on my desk back at the dorm, I'd been so caught up in the fun of getting ready and squealing over what songs I wanted to hear most that I'd completely forgotten how cold my hands would be; I'd spent most of my time in line with my hands in my jacket.

"I'll think about it, thanks for the suggestion."

"No problem," I replied, looking slightly around Vic to check on Iris who was talking with Jaime and Tony, now appearing much more relaxed and not seeming as though she was ready to burst into tears.

Vic noticed me checking on my friend and took a moment to look at her, pulling his lips into a thin line as he did. "She's pretty sensitive isn't she? Does she uh, have a story?" I chewed my lip as I considered whether or not it would be a good idea to tell him about Iris, whether or not she would be upset, and decided that it would be best for me to not say too much.

"She's had a lot of problems when it comes to bullying, she's too nice to all the wrong people and yeah. I think if you want to know more you should ask her, it's not my place." I sighed then noticed that Iris was excitedly waving to me and I waved back a little before the conversation between Vic and I was stopped by a knock on the door.

"Guys, I've got like eighty girls out there waiting to meet you. Do you think we could get this meet and greet on the road?" The man who had knocked on the door said, he wore very plain clothing with a simple lanyard hanging around his neck and a stressed tone in his voice, making me think he might be their tour manager or something along those lines.

Jaime, Tony and Mike jumped up at that, realizing that they couldn't spend the rest of their time in here.

"Okay, we'll be right out." Vic waved him off then looked at Iris, "you'll have to back to the VIP room now, we'll get in huge trouble if we let you guys run around here without permission. Do you think you'll be alright doing that?" Iris nodded and smiled at the singer with her face then going a light shade of red when Jaime put a hand on her shoulder and lent down to say something to her.

A few more words were exchanged before the band hurried out of the room, talking loudly to each other as they wen down the hallway, the sounds even being heard in their dressing room. I linked my arm with Iris' and said a quick goodbye to Gerard and his band before pulling Iris out of the room with me, following Pierce The Veil who would now be talking with a bunch of girls and guys who had VIP passes and were currently heard cheering.

"Lainey," Iris mumbled to me as we continued down the rather dark, painted brick hallway.

"There's something I want to tell you." Although the area around us was mostly silent I still had trouble hearing her and knew that if she spoke any quieter I wouldn't be able to hear her at all.

"What's up?" I asked, wanting to know what was making her so quiet when she'd been speaking just fine only moments ago, maybe the reality of meeting her favorite band was finally sinking in; I was definitely feeling a lot more jittery now that I was when I was first talking to Vic.

"When I was talking to them, Tony mentioned that the band was gonna be here for an extra day. He wants us to have lunch with them...Tony Perry wants to have lunch with us." Her voice went up so high she could almost be compared to a squeaking mouse and she momentarily held my arm in her infamous death grip that made me feel as if a python was slowly wrapping itself around my arm, intending to engulf me.

Iris shakily reached into shorts pocket and retrieved a piece of paper from her pocket that I had to squint to read, it was the address of a hotel not that far outside of town; I'd seen it when I was taking a walk around town during one of the weekends when the schools bus would drive into Brighthollow.

"We might get caught this time, do you still want to sneak out tomorrow?" I wondered as I looked down at her, just checking although I already knew what my answer would be, especially since she had already gone off grounds even when she knew there would be extreme repercussions for doing so or at least extreme in her book.

"Damn it, let's do it."

Notes