After I'd put a good half hour into internally freaking out over having to go to a funeral tomorrow I calmed down enough to put my priorities in order.

First thing I needed to do was dye my hair and get that out of the way, which I was currently in the process of doing, not well I might add.

"Argh!" I bitched as I smeared hair dye on myself for about the millionth time in a row.

Usually I was good at the dying but right now I was under some serious stress and I couldn't take my mind off everything.
At one point Gerard told me it what be a smart choice to change my hair colour since the mafia people had much better chance of finding me with bright green hair.
Apparently I would be less noticeable with black even though I knew I wouldn't like the colour despite it being as dark as my soul.

I just really wanted to get this over and done with so I could get to the second thing on my list of priorities. Trying to find something that would be suitable for a funeral, it wasn't a task I'd enjoy but it had to be done.
It would get done if I ever managed to stop wiping hair dye on myself, damn it to hell.

"Fuck!" I yelled as a big black smear from the bottle went down my arm, without a doubt leaving a stain even if I washed it off immediately, damn this to the pits of hell then back again because I'm fricken pissed off right now.

"Are you alright?" I turned around to see Gerard who was leaning against the bathroom doorframe with his arms crossed.
I sighed and put the bottle on the sink before sitting next to it and trying to not wipe anymore of the dye on myself.

"This fucking stuff is all over the place." I added a few more choice swearwords when I made the mistake of itching my face, I'm gonna look like a chimney sweep I just know it, all I need is broom and a cockney accent.

"Looks like it." Gerard said, gesturing to my white shirt that was pretty much black now, well it's not like I ever liked the shirt, it was too white and boring anyway.

"Yeah, I'm not exactly good at this, too much on the brain." I mumbled, it wasn't just the things I needed to do and the shit I was going through, it was also what had happened earlier today between Gerard and I.

When he'd convinced me to jump from the fire escape then caught me there'd been a brief moment of us moving towards each other in what could possibly have been a kiss.

He'd said 'another time,' did that mean he actually wanted us to kiss or did he just not want to insult me? I wasn't exactly ugly but Gerard could probably do much better than me if he wanted to, I know at least five pretty girls who would throw themselves at his feet.
He'd probably rather have them.
I hate my over-thinking brain right now.

Gerard sat on the edge of the bathtub then gave me a pointed look I didn't understand.

"Sit down and bring the bottle." He waved his hand at the floor and I did as he said, giving him the bottle when he held his hand out for it.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, crossing my legs and resting my hands in my lap with my back to him, despite my question I kinda got the idea of what he was planning to do.

"I've dyed my hair a lot, I've gotten used to not getting it on me and you look like you're gettin' frustrated to the point of breaking my bathroom. I'd rather you not do that thank you." Gerard told me before putting the dye in my hair with me sitting there silently, feeling a touch surprised.

So yeah, that's basically how I ended up sitting on a bathroom floor with Gerard Way behind me, helping me dye my hair black, you know, totally normal stuff.

"You're really good at this." I commented, him having a much easier time of not getting the dye all over himself, it wouldn't show up on him much anyway since all the clothes he was wearing were black.

"I told you I did it a lot, besides it easy when you're not trying to do it by looking in a mirror." He was right that's for sure, more than once Dayna's made me help her change her hair up.
Actually I didn't do that much to her hair, just helped her add highlights but it was still a difficult job when she moved around all the time, it was impossible to get her to sit still.

"This is weird." I laughed a little when I felt him move my hair around which tickled.

"How?" Maybe he didn't get it as much as I did since he was the one who came up with the idea of doing the hair dying for me.

"I don't know it's just weird, having your hands on my hair and stuff." I mumbled, picking off parts of my already chipped nail polish.
There was silence in the bathroom between us for a little while, neither Gerard or I having anything to say until he finished.

"Alright, done. You can do whatever you want now." I stood up and grabbed the hair clip from the sink before putting my hair up because it would obviously be a bad choice to just let it hang onto my clothes.

"Thanks. You didn't realise how much you've saved my arms from being stained." I told him following it up with a grateful smile before he came over to the sink and washed his hands.

"You want a coffee while you wait?" He asked me and I eagerly nodded, following him out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

I sat on the bench while he started making coffee, watching him move around the kitchen.
My brain kept flashing back to the almost kiss and I kinda wished we weren't being chased by people who wanted me and now probably Gerard, dead.

I really shouldn't say or do anything with him though because if he rejects me then staying with him will get very awkward, very fast.

An incredibly tiny but stupid part of my brain told me that it would be worth risking it, a few seconds of his lips against mine could cancel out the pain of rejection.
The smart part knew that wasn't true though.

Gerard put a cup of coffee in front of me with a small awkward smile before running his hand through his hair, mussing it up.

"I have to get changed and uh, do something so just feel free to look around and stuff." He mumbled before quickly walking out of the room and leaving me sitting there wondering if I'd been thinking out loud and he'd just heard what I thought of him.
God I hope not.

I waited for a couple of minutes, wondering if he was going to be coming back any time soon.
After long enough I got bored and started wandering around the flat, looking at the things he had laying around.

There was a fucking huge pile of CDs in one corner which made me feel happy, especially when paired with the huge stereo that had wall mounted speakers.

The music lover in me was having a full blown hand flapping spazz out while I looked through his collection of CDs, seeing if there was any I recognised or liked.

David Bowie, The Clash, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Iron Maiden, The Cure, Smashing Pumpkins, Metallica, Radiohead, a buttload of Green Day, some of his own MCR albums.
Ooh what's this one?

It didn't look like much of an album and was simply a cd slip with the letters TBP written across it.

I pulled out the cd that had the same thing written on it and considered playing the disc.
One of two things could happen in this situation.

A) Gerard could be into porn and I could possibly scar myself for life.

B) This is some alternative band I haven't heard yet because it was the only album I didn't recognise.

I was gonna hope it was the latter and not the former.

So with that I put the cd into the player and dropped on the couch with my cup of coffee and a tiny remote in hand...
I should have checked the volume first.

'Yeah! And if your heart stops beatingI'll be here wondering did you get what you deserve?! The ending of your life! And if you get to heaven! I'll be here waiting, babe did you get what you deserve?! The end, and if your life won't wait then your heart can't take this!'

At the almost deafening volume of the music I scrabbled to find a way to turn in down, this was gonna wake the neighbours goddamit.

'Have you heard the news that you're dead?! No one ever had much nice to say! I think they never liked you anyway! Oh take me from the hospital bed! Wouldn't it be grand?! It ain't exactly what you planned! And wouldn't it be great if we were dead?! Oh dead!'

"Shit!" I yelled, almost as loud as the music while still trying to figure out how the hell the volume control worked.

Gerard came running up while I stood there panicking like a fuckin fairy princess and simply turned it off at the powerpoint.
The music immediately died and with a sigh I dropped onto the couch, almost spilling my coffee when I realised what I'd just heard.

That was Gerard's voice that I'd been listening to, I'm not sure but I think I just heard some of My Chems new album.

"What the hell were you doing?" He asked and I looked at him directly now, holy shit he's not wearing a shirt.
The second Gerard noticed me looking at him he crossed his arms and walked away.
I might have made him angry at me by accident.

"Sorry I was just trying to listen to some music!" I called out to him, trying to sound as apologetic as I could while shouting.

"It's fine, please don't try listening to that album again though, no one's supposed to hear it yet." It was obvious that it was his voice on the cd and I'd listened to enough of their songs to recognise it instantly, hence the look on my face Gerard would have seen moments before I saw him shirtless.

"Can't I just listen to a little bit, please." I was horrible at asking for things since I didn't do it often and it was evident in my voice.

"No, I'm sorry but right now no one can listen to it." I immediately pouted, I really wanted to listen to more since I didn't get a chance to actually absorb the sound while having a mini heart attack.

When Gerard didn't say anything I just sat there grumpily with my half empty cup of coffee, wanting to whinge until he'd let me listen to the song, I didn't do it though.
My eyes kept drifting to the CD player and the cheeky side of me kept demanding that I try listening to it.

'No brain we're not doing that' I told myself.

Why did it have to work that the second I was told I couldn't do something I'd try to do it?

I remember the one time I nearly put myself into a chocolate coma when Mum said to leave the chocolate cake in the fridge alone. I'd eaten it in about ten minutes and had chocolate allover myself by the time I was done.
She hadn't been very happy about it either.

"You should probably rinse that dye out now." Gerard told me, walking into the living room and pulling on the sleeves of his jumper.

Yep he was wearing a jumper, an oversized one too and it looked kinda adorable especially when paired with his short, snowy white hair.

"Alright." I stood up, drained my cup then put it on the sink before heading into the bathroom.

"The towels are on the rack, feel free to use any shampoos and stuff." Gerard said, standing in the doorway and still tugging on his jumper sleeves.

Dammit I just realised there was a whole bunch of bathroom things I didn't have and forgot to buy.

He gave me a brief smile before closing the door and leaving me standing there.
I quickly pulled my clothes off and got into the shower, turning it on once I was already in because I'm a badass like that.

Hot water poured out and I went through the process of washing my hair and all the other required showering stuff.

Once everything was done I got out of the shower only to be immediately bombarded by the cold air which I didn't expect.
Not planning to be there for long I put my hair up in a towel before wrapping one around myself and leaving the bathroom.

I could hear music coming from the living room and walked down the hallway to see Gerard laying face first on the couch. I wasn't absolutely positive at first but I was pretty sure he was listening to The Cure.

'You, soft and only.
You, lost and lonely.
You strange as angels dancing in the deepest oceans.
Twisting in the water, you're just like a dream.

Daylight licked me into shape.
I must have been asleep for days and moving lips to breathe her name.
I opened up my eyes and found myself alone, alone.
Alone above a raging sea, that stole the only girl I loved and drowned her deep inside of me.'

Yeah that was The Cure alright, if I'm remembering it correctly the song's called Just Like Heaven.

"Are you alright, Gerard?" I asked him making sure he wasn't somehow smothering himself on the couch.

He lifted up a hand then gave me a thumbs up before dropping his arm onto the couch again, I think he'll be fine for the moment.
I turned around with the intention of going into the room I'd be staying in when Gerard said something.

"Do you like The Cure?" I faced him, he'd removed his head from the couch and was looking at me.

"I grew up with them. My Mum used to sing The Lovecats to me all the time." Gerard nodded and put his face into the couch again, then groaned loudly, he was being very weird.

"Alright I'm gonna get changed now." I mumbled and he waved me away with his hand, I stood there for a moment before shuffling to my room.

Since I had minimum patience when it came to getting changed I dragged on yet a other black singlet room my huge collection of black clothing then a grey sweatshirt I'd gladly wear for the rest of my life.
Next came the old pyjama pants that were more than slightly paint splattered, blame the splash technique I was using on an art piece while wearing them.

Last thing I did was unwrap my hair from the towel, feeling cautious when it came to seeing what it'd look like.
I slowly walked out of my room and into the bathroom, bracing myself for whatever might happen.
The second I saw my reflection in the mirror I gasped, holy shit this is gonna take some getting used to.

I need something to take my mind off the disaster that is my hair.
Paging Dr. Junkfood.

I halfheartedly left the bathroom, still shocked after seeing just how tragic my hair really looked, it'd turned out worse than I thought it would. I headed straight for the kitchen and the junkfood I'd bought while shopping.

Gerard was lying on his back looking at the ceiling when I came in and the music was now turned down.
I have no idea what he was doing those ten minutes ago but whatever it was he seems to have calmed down now

"That looks nice." Gerard commented as I grabbed a bag of lollies that I'd had earlier out of a kitchen cupboard.

"Shut up, my hair looks horrible." It didn't suit me at all and I wish I kept my green hair instead, it didn't matter if it'd be easier for the mafia to find me, at least I could die with the dignity of knowing my hair was a rad color.

"No it actually does look nice, it makes you look really pale. You'd look horrible with a tan and- I'm just digging a deeper and deeper hole aren't I?" He'd only just realized what he was saying didn't sound anything like a compliment at all and quickly shut up before he could say anything worse, I didn't take it personally though.

"Pretty much." I said, dropping on the couch when he moved his legs out of the way and sat up.

"Sorry, I was truly trying to give you a compliment though. Hehe, foot in mouth." It was nice to know that he actually meant it even if he should have used some different words.

"Thanks then, it just looks weird, ya know? I've always had my hair really bright but it's dark now, I guess I'm not always comfortable with drastic changes." I freaking hated it sometimes when things could be unpredictable or sudden even if I could adapt well.

"So never mine the mafia then." He laughed humorlessly at his own joke before I handed him the bag of lollies and he immediately started looking through it while I talked.

"They're people, people don't scare me. I scare me. When we were at my apartment and climbing out the window is all I would have had to is fall over and we'd both be fucked." I was actually more worried about Gerard than myself in that situation but I wasn't going to tell him that.

This probably sounds really stupid and no one would get it but I felt protective of Gerard.
I have ever since the moment I saw him standing outside the coffee shop, cigarette in hand with a sad expression.

He looked so fragile compared to how he usually appeared, with black hair he seemed tougher, more ready to deal with things.
His white hair made him look younger, more vulnerable especially when paired with him how much weight his lost in the time I've known him.

I felt like I should protect him even though he's the one who's taking care of me right now.

"But you didn't fall over and even if you did we would have been fine." I knew Gerard was just saying that in an attempt to comfort me.

We'd both heard the people in the apartment as we climbed down the fire escape.
I would have only had to be in there for five more seconds and they would have caught me and Gerard as well.

"Sure, okay. I'm gonna go to bed now." I mumbled, standing up, I didn't want to think of how much danger I'd placed him in today.

"Oh um, I just wanted to say something else, it's really quick." I turned around and Gerard rubbed the back of his neck as if trying to think of something.

"I was thinking about that mural thing you mentioned." We'd talked about the art banner I'd made about all of their songs and Gerard asked to see it.
I'd said no because I'd feel embarrassed if he saw my shitty art interpretation of My Chemical Romances music which was beyond awful.

"If you let me see it I'll let you listen to the album we're making." Internally I was screaming YES but I really didn't want him to see the mural so I said the only thing I could at the moment.

"Um, let me sleep on it, alright?" Gerard paused for a second then nodded, giving me a tiny smile that I returned before heading for bed.

I didn't know if I'd be able to sleep at the moment, I was tired and it had been an almost unnaturally long day but it was weird knowing I was staying with Gerard Way.
Only a couple of weeks ago I'd have counted my lucky stars to see him at a meet and greet, now I was living with him because I was on the mafias hit list.

I slipped under the covers of the freshly put together bed and rested my head on the pillow.

Within seconds my doubts of will I, won't I go to sleep were washed away as my tiredness claimed me.

Notes

Just Like Heaven by The Cure. The song in the story, check it out, it's pretty good.