She Always Gets What She Wants

“Wow.” Amy leaned back in her chair, looking astonished. “I didn’t think I’d ever see this day. I mean, I’m sorry, but I knew this day would come. I just didn’t think it would be this soon.” She looked at me apologetically. “You and Brittany are over.”

I sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s over. I figured you would want to know.”

“Frank, it’s not so much a want to know as caring enough to know. I really am sorry that it didn’t work out.”

“But for what it’s worth you think I’m better off?” I put it out there, because I knew that that was what she was thinking even if she was too considerate to come right out and say it.

“I didn’t say that…”

Her response wasn’t quite what I had expected. I knew she would be sympathetic, but I also figured that she would be telling me that I was delusional and that Brittany and I would be back together in no time. That was how it always went. “And why do you believe me this time? You have always, like all the other times, you always told me that she and I would work it out, that we would get back together? Why aren’t you doing that now?” I wanted to know.

“It’s different this time,” she said bluntly.

“How?” I was confused. It was exactly like all the other times. One of us screwed up, we had a huge fallout and then we broke up. It was exactly the same.

“I know what you’re thinking, that it’s the same, but I’m telling you that it’s not.” There she went again reading my mind. After all this time I’ve become used to it. “All the other times you were trying to convince yourself that it was over. Even when it seemed like you were trying to convince me, like that last time when you tried to persuade me to be with you, even then you were trying to convince yourself that it was over. Not this time though. This time you’re actually trying to convince me of that fact. You believe it. You’ve accepted the end of your relationship.”

“Yes, well, I had to.” I looked around the coffee shop we were seated in. “We’re going on tour soon anyway. It’s better this way. I can go and be in the band, put my full attention into being a musician and I can do it carefree. I won’t have to miss her.”

“I get it,” she nodded. “Do you mind if I ask what happened? Why is this time different?”

I shook my head. “It’s not important.” She didn’t need to know the reason, only that it was over. “And I’m sorry.” It was my turn to apologize.

“What for?”

“For being such a jerk. I have been such a huge fucking asshole to you. I knew you liked me and I still ran to you every time Brittany and I hit a bump in the road. I used your feelings for me to my advantage and I didn’t even think about how that affected you and I’m sorry.”

“Frank…”

“It’s true,” I interrupted her. “I wanted to love you. I thought I did, but…” It was an awful confession, but it needed to be made.

“I know you don’t. Not like that anyway,” Brittany said. “I’m not an idiot, Frank. I always knew that you didn’t see me that way. Maybe on some level, yes, but you were with Brittany. You didn’t have room in your life for me too. Why do you think I always kept sending you back to her? It’s not like I’m a perfect person. I make mistakes too and maybe, in hindsight, I was the one using you.”

“So we’re both assholes?” I started to snigger. I probably should have been mad at her or at the very least a little upset, but I couldn’t be, not when we had both made mistakes. None of this was anybody’s fault. Soon enough her laughter mixed with mine and I knew we were going to be okay. It wasn’t a best friends forever kind of thing, but we had an understanding and we were there for each other. We would be friends for as long as possible.

*

Amy dropped me off in front of the house with her white Jeep and then drove off in the direction of her own home. I had already noticed Gerard’s presence on our front porch as the car approached and, honestly, I wasn’t very happy to see him, but in the same instance I wasn’t surprised that he was there.

“How long have you been waiting?” The question was directed at him as soon as Amy pulled away from the curb.

“A while.” Gerard got to his feet and dusted off the back of his jeans.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but you waited for nothing, because I don’t want to talk about it.” I stated, storming past him up the steps.

“Frank, come on.”

I whipped around to glare at him. “No, you come on! I know that look. You’re not here because of me.” I turned back and furiously shoved the key into the lock.

As expected, Gerard followed me up the steps and inside the house. “I just want to talk.”

“You know, I’m finally getting how Brittany must have felt all these years coming in second or even third place for your attention. I know I’ve had to bite the dust before too when going up against Mikey, but you don’t get to pick her side this time. Not about this.” I might have sounded defensive and angry, but in reality, on the inside, I was begging him to be on my side.

“I get that you’re upset and you have every right to be,” he started in an appeasing tone of voice while he slowly approached me like he was afraid that I would get spooked and run away.

“That’s just the thing, Gerard, I’m not upset. I’m simply through with it all.” I dropped my jacket carelessly on the couch, moving deeper inside the house.

“I found her crying in her room after your fight. She’s sorry.”

I gaped at him in disbelief. “Sorry?” He threw in that little piece about her crying as if somehow it should have made a difference in my state of mind. “Do you know what she did?”

“Yes,” he said sadly, apologetically. “But there is more to the story.”

“I don’t care, because it doesn’t change what happened. It doesn’t make a difference in the situation we find ourselves in.” She had cheated on me, again, with Tray, again. How many times were we supposed to do this?

“You might change your mind after hearing it,” he offered hopefully, but I refused to budge.

I stared at him hard for a while before shaking my head disappointed. “I can’t believe you’re taking her side, but of course you are. She always gets what she wants.” I walked around the kitchen table to the window and stared out of it wondering whether things between me and the Ways will ever return to normal, the way they had been before I had decided that sleeping with Brittany was a good idea.

“That’s what this is all about?” It was his turn to sound upset. “You refuse to listen to her explanation simply because you don’t want her to get what she wants?”

“No, but I can’t keep doing this anymore. I’ve been hurt too many times.”

Gerard’s expression softened and he looked sympathetic. “You love her.”

I nodded in affirmation, knowing that no more words were necessary.

My best friend sighed deeply. “I’m sorry. I didn’t get it before, but I get it now and I’m sorry. I don’t agree with what Brittany did, but she truly is sorry.”

Notes