I'm not gay, right?

"Frank Iero… With Gerard Way." Mr. Murphy says, pointing his pencil to the other end of the room. I glance to where he gestured to, and my eyes fall on some short kid with black hair. He's wearing a jean jacket with a black and white shirt underneath. I wouldn't have put that outfit together on my own, but I've got to say that he makes it work.

Murphy continues pairing off kids, and I can't help but feel like someone is watching me. My eyes land on my partner from earlier, and his big eyes are glued to me. I try to smile, and when he notices me looking, he looks down to his fiddling hands.

"Group up and start working."

I scramble to gather up my bags, then walking over to Frank. He's shooing some girl away from his table, a worried look on his face. I set down my books, pulling out a chair and sitting down. He does the same, and I try to focus on turning to page 256 amongst the chatting classroom.

"Hi." I say, smiling at him. He attempts a smile, then looking down again with red cheeks. It takes a moment for him to recooperate, but once he does look up, the blush hasn't disappeared.

"Sorry, I'm just a little socially anxious." He laughs. My face adopts a smile, and soon I begin laughing with him. I have a feeling we will be good friends. I've always loved people with a contagious smile. "Er, should we get started?" He asks, to which I nod.

"It's page, uh, 256. Should we start by discussing a study plan?" I say, skimming over the black ink. He agrees, and I finish reading a paragraph about Mitosis before looking back up to him. "My friends call me a smart guy, how about I take notes and you copy? I'm not a very good team-worker."

"That sounds good. Science, or rather, school, has never been my thing. God, am I lucky to get partnered with you.' I nod, pulling out my notebook. "For the poster, can you do the writing? My handwriting is terrible." He agrees with a smile on his face, and I can't help but think that he's flirting with me. But I'm straight. Boys are a path I will not be going down anytime soon.

Right?

- - -

After the bell rings, I walk outside to my car, pulling out the keys. I'm about to unlock it when a familiar voice distracts me.

"Gerard!"

I turn around to see Frank running towards me, clutching my notebook in his hand. "I finished copying your notes, I just thought you should have 'em back." He hands over the journal, and I stuff it in my messenger bag. "Thanks... Hey what are you doing?" I ask, looking up to see him unlocking the 1976 Cadillac Pickup always parked next to my car.

"Unlocking my car." He says, though it comes out as a question. I take a step back.

"That's your car? Oh, so you're the guy I hate!"

"Yeah, that would be me."

"Can I?"

"Go ahead!"

Frank hops inside, closing the door while I buckle my seatbelt. I take a look inside, relishing the amazing interior. "Wanna go somewhere to eat? I'll pay." I nod, pulling my phone out to text Ray and Brendon that I won't be taking them home. With a second thought, I stuff it back into my pocket. That can wait. I want to get to know Frank more.

"What's with the phone?" Frank asks, pulling out of the parking lot. I look to him, smiling to myself. He's so beautiful with the light shining on his skin at that angle. If he turned around I would be able to see just how perfect his eyes-No! You're straight, Gerard. You have a girlfriend!

"Just checking the time."

- - -

He pulls into a small pizza shop, I think it's called Cassanova's. I unbuckle my seatbelt, ignoring the buzzes coming from my pocket. I look up through the window, or lack of, as he's opened the door for me. Yeah, he's definitely flirting with me. I'll just pretend I don't notice it, and try to give him subtle hints that I'm straight.

We walk to the counter, and Frank orders a pizza with black olives, handing over 15$ and telling the girl with blush on her nose to keep the change. With a smile, he leads me to a booth in the corner. We begin talking, telling eachother about our days, and home life. Frank's parents are divorced, and he lives in a pretty big house with his mom. Well, at least when she's home. Apparently she's away a lot.

I tell him that my brother is in sophomore year, that I hope to sing in a band one day, and maybe be a comic book artist. The waiter, with a lip ring, sets down a steaming pizza with olives, as promised. I smile, waiting a minute before taking a bite. I set the pizza down on a napkin, looking at Fran.

"Oh, shit. You got some sauce on your sleeve. Here-" Frank reaches across the table, wiping a bit of tomato sauce off of my sleeve with his thumb. His eyes stay on my sleeve, though. It's almost as if he can see through it. "Wait..." He mumbles, leaning over further to roll up my sleeve.

"Shit, I-" I look down at the faded red lines peeking out from my sweater. Our eyes meet, and in that single moment, I see through him. He's scared. So scared for me. He's wondering what, or rather who, could make me do this to myself. Eyes still locked, my hand finds his and lifts it off my wrist. I stand up, taking the nearest exist as fast as I can.

I run, my feet pounding against the grass. I've never been a good runner, but then again, I've never had to outrun something. But now, I'm trying to get as far away as possible from those thundering footsteps, from that deep voice of my lab partner.

Slowly but surely, I start to run out of breath. I slow down, my hand reaching out to prop me against some tree. The footsteps behind me stop, and I hear heavy breathing. He's waiting for me to say the first word. But how am I supposed to speak with all of these tears free-flowing from my eyes.

"You..." I begin, trying to find the right words. "You weren't supposed to know. No one was supposed to know. This isn't how the story was supposed to go!" My forehead meets the tree bark, and I begin sobbing. Those moments with Frank, the moments I'll probably dream about tonight, I hadn't though about the cuts. Unlike when I'm with LynZ, and I can't keep them out of my mind. But I'm supposed to be with her, so I'll stay with her.

"Just calm down. I'm not gonna tell anyone. Just think of me as someone you can talk to when everyone else is gone." He says, his voice low, but not at a whisper.

Can I trust him? He's one of the most popular kids in the school, so the obvious answer is no. Anyone who can get popular is un-trustable. But he's different. Not like the other kids I've met. The ones who make fun of me because I'm skinny, or emo, or gay (which I'm not. I'm straight.) He would never do that.

I take in a deep breath. The thought of hugging him crossed my mind, but I don't want to give the wrong idea to a guy who likes me. So let out my breath, drop my head, and mumble. "Can you take me home." It wasn't said like a question. More like a suggestion.

"Come on. Give me an address and I will."

- - -

It was a silent ride home. No talking, no humming, it almost seemed like the world outside us had ceased to exist. That all stopped when he pulled into my driveway, and I begin to hear Ray and Brendon yelling at each other.

"Shit. You're car is still at school." He says.
"Just pick me up in the morning."

He nods, and I get out of the car. I wave him off, all the while walking down the basement of my house. I unlock the door, letting myself in, then pulling my sleeves down. Mikey reaches over Pete's lap to turn down the volume, then the whole group leans in, expecting an answer for why I got here so late.

"I went to get pizza with Iero." I explain, and Lynz tilts her head. "The rich kid? Didn't think you'd like him." She says, and I sit down on the couch next to her.

"Neither did I, babe. Neither did I. Turn up the volume." Pete obeys, and That 70's Show resumes. I wrap my arm around Lynz, kissing her cheek. I didn't feel the spark that I did when Frank's hand brushed against mine a couple of hours ago. Her head falls onto my shoulder, and I stroke her hair. This all feels so forced. Maybe I should break up with her and date Emma Chasity.

Notes

new book yay yay. watch umbrella academy