And Then I Met My Teacher
I woke up the next morning to gerard placing kisses to my neck. I giggled at the tickling feeling.
''Good morning to you too'' I giggled.
''It's Friday!'' He yelled excitedly. I laughed at his enthusiasm and stretched my arms, letting out a small grunt. ''I'm taking you out to dinner, tonight,'' he beamed, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in closer.
''What's up with you this morning?'' I asked giggling.
''I just happened to wake up next to the most beautiful boy in the world.” I wrinkled my nose at the corny comment.
''So cheesy,'' I chortled.
''Shut up, you love it,'' he laughed. I groaned and closed my eyes, but he placed a soft kiss on my lips and I could feel his smile against my mouth.
''What’s making you smile?'' I asked.
''What did I do?''
''Nothing. I just- I don't know. I love you,” he swooned, pushing my hair out of my eyes affectionately.
''You needed me to suck your dick to realize that?'' I joked. He smiled and rolled his eyes.
“It helped,” he said sarcastically. I hit his shoulder playfully and he chuckled, rubbing it as if I had hurt him. We laid in bed a little longer before going to shower. He didn't flip me off this time; he even asked me to join him, which I accepted, of course.
When we arrived in the school parking lot, I saw Summer and her friends smoking in front of the main entrance. I looked away.
''Are you okay?'' Gerard asked.
''Yeah, I just don't feel like going to class,'' I lied, scratching the back of my head.
''At least I'm teaching your last period,'' he said, grabbing my hand comfortingly. I didn’t answer.
''Ready to go?'' He asked. I nodded and pulled on the door handle but he had locked the car. I looked at him confused.
''You're forgetting something.'' He said. I turned around and glanced at the back seat, trying to figure out what it was that I might be forgetting. I frowned when I saw the empty leather seats.
''I'm not...?'' I answered confused. He turned his face towards me and closed his eyes, placing his mouth in an exaggerated ''kiss'' shape. I rolled my eyes and pecked his lips quickly.
''Much better,'' he beamed, unlocking the doors. ''I'll see you this afternoon, pretty candy face,'' he winked. God he could be so cheesy. I wasn’t going to complain; I’d much rather spend my mornings with cheesy, over the top Gerard, than with moody, temperamental Gerard.
''Yeah, see ya. I love you.''
''I love you too,'' he said as I closed the door. He waited for me to be far enough that no one would notice we arrived together, and got out of the car. I was walking to class, hoping to avoid Summer, when I saw James talking to some guy I didn't know. His eyes met mine and he instantly waved at me, gesturing me to come over. I was only a few feet away from him when I heard a distinguishable nasal voice coming from behind me.
''Hey, weirdo,' she snickered.
''What do you want, Summer?''
''Is that eyeliner that you're wearing?'' She asked, smudging it with her thumb and looking at the dark stain it had left on her skin.
''Oh my god, it is! The fag is wearing make up,” she mocked. “Are you going to wear a pretty little dress tomorrow?'' She laughed complacently.
''I don’t know, I might.''
''Gross,'' she groused.
''Why don't you leave him alone, Summer? Don’t make this harder than it has to be,'' James said calmly. That was weird. I wondered what kind of history these two had, but frankly I was just happy to see he’d came to ‘rescue’ me.
''You're lucky your boyfriend’s around to save your ass,'' she said bitterly before walking away.
“Don’t worry, I've got your back, Frankie.'' Frankie. He called me ‘Frankie’. Only 3 people called me ‘Frankie’; Sam, mom and Gerard. It was weird to hear him calling me like that, but then again, it was weird hearing Gerard calling me like that at first too. I guessed I would get used to it, even though the implied proximity of the nickname made me cringe. We just weren’t that close.
''Thanks.'' I answered, trying to shake off the feeling of awkwardness that had settled in my stomach. He smiled and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me closer to him which caused me to stumble.
''Are you okay? I'm so sorry,” he said nervously..
I couldn't resign myself to tell him I wasn't interested. I knew it had to be done, but I didn't want to hurt him. He was the only person who had made the effort to talk to me since I had gotten here and I didn't want to break his heart. On the other hand, I loved Gerard and the last thing I wanted was to disappoint him. If it came down to it, I knew I’d chose Gerard over James every time. I obviously had to set boundaries and make it clear to him that nothing would happen between us, but not now. It wasn't urgent.
English class passed by like a big blur and before I knew it, I was sitting at lunch with the guys. We were just talking about comic books when Avery decided to cut to the chase.
''Frank, I need to ask you something,'' he asked almost too formally.
''Are you gay?''
I felt my face getting flushed. I hadn’t officially came out to anyone yet. I knew my mom had probably figured it out, and Gerard, well obviously, but that was it. I felt my neck getting hot.
''Uh, yeah, I guess so. Why?''
''The eyeliner gave it away,'' Matt giggled. I wanted to tell him that a lot of straight guys wore eyeliner too, like Billie Joe Armstrong, or Jared Leto, but I was speechless. I never thought that a little eyeliner would get so many people talking. First Summer, now Avery and Matt; although I could tell Avery and Matt meant no harm, they were simply curious.
''Matt!'' James said, kicking me under the table.
“Ow, what did I do?” I howled, rubbing my shin.
“Oh my God, Frankie, I’m so sorry. I meant to kick, Matt,” he apologized profusely.
“It’s fine,” I giggled.
“Jeez, guys, leave poor Frank alone,” Sid laughed.
''How about you, James?'' Avery asked. Syd and Matt both looked at him with their mouths wide open.
''What? We never asked him after all...'' He added to justify his question.
''Jesus, Avery, what is it with you and questioning people’s sexuality today?,” Sid asked, trying to lighten up the mood.
“I’m bi,'' James answered.
''I thought you were gay,'' Avery said. Sid and Matt both sighed, urging him to stop making uncomfortable remarks.
''I had a girlfriend a month ago!'' James protested. Avery stopped speaking.
''But it's over, James. Domini has a new boyfriend now and you should do the same thing. You need to move on,'' Syd said, placing a hand compassionately on James shoulder.
''I’ve moved on! I don't care if Domini has a new boyfriend! Good for her! Doesn't mean I want one!'' James said, pushing Syd’s hand away, clearly annoyed.
''So you don’t want one?'' Syd asked, raising an eyebrow increadiously.
''Well, there's this guy I kinda like... But why am I even telling you this? It's none of your business.You guys wouldn’t even understand,'' he spluttered impatiently.
''Alright, James. Relax, we were just asking. How about you, Frank?'' Avery added.
''Do you like anyone?'' He clarified. This was my chance to make it clear to James that I wasn’t interested. I gulped.
''Actually, I’m kind of seeing someone,'' I admitted. As soon as he heard my answer, James got up. I could see the hurt in his eyes and I felt my heart sink into my chest. The last thing I wanted was for him to be mad at me, or to stop talking to me.
''I am not feeling too good, I think I'm just going to go home guys,'' he mumbled, absentmindedly. He turned around and started walking away without saying goodbye. I felt nauseous.
''Do you guys think this is my fault?'' I asked concerned.
''Well, I wouldn't say it's your fault, but it's pretty obvious to anyone who’s seen him looking at you that you're the guys he was talking about,'' Matt said.
''Shit,'' I breathed before running after him.
''James!'' I yelled. He turned around, looked at me and kept walking. ''James, wait, please!'' I pleaded, trying to catch my breath. He stopped and I ran towards him.
''What do you want?'' He asked.
''What for, Frank?''
''Well… I, uh-''
''You don't even know why you're apologizing.''
''Do you have feelings for me?'' I asked bluntly.
''Yes! I thought it was obvious...''
''I- I didn't know,'' I lied.
''And here I thought you would be the one to make me forget Domini,” he mumbled more to himself than to me. As soon as the words left his lips, I started feeling compassion for him. I had thought the exact same thing the night Gerard and I fought for the first time; ‘And here I thought you would be the one to make me forget about Sam’. I knew I should have stayed strong. I knew I should have just accepted the fact that he was probably going to be mad at me for a little while, and that there was nothing I could do about that, but instead, I just wrapped my arms around his neck.
''I'm sorry,'' I whispered, holding him close to my body.
''It's okay,'' he answered, hugging me back.
A few hours later, I was sitting next to him in Gerard's classroom, completing the self-portrait we had been asked to do as if nothing had ever happened. Mine was incredibly bad. I didn’t look like me at all. The face looked completely distorted and the teeth in “my” mouth were insanely disproportionate. I felt a hand stroking the small of my back.
''Do you need help?'' Gerard asked.
''I don't know, do I?'' I asked sarcastically, holding up my drawing to show him. He giggled.
''I'll help you after class, okay?'' He suggested. I nodded.
''James, you're good?'' He asked.
''Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you, Mr. Way.'' He answered. Gerard nodded and walked away. I quickly glanced over to James’ drawing and it looked stunning. He had used only pencil and charcoal, which seemed to have given even more depth to his features. His fair skin had been perfectly shadowed and his dark brown eyes looked mesmerizing. His full lips were curled into a soft smile and his lustrous hair looked neatly combed. If it hadn’t been for him pulling me out of my daydream, I could have stared at his artwork all day.
''Seems like things got better between you and him,” he said, pointing to Gerard.
''Yeah, I think the sleepover probably helped. I got in Mikey’s good graces, I guess that left him no choice but to learn to tolerate me,'' I forced a laugh nervously.
''I'm glad he stopped picking on you. I didn't like it.''
''Yes, well, it seems like someone else took over,'' I said, referring to Summer.
''Don't worry, she won't be bothering you for long,'' he promised. I smiled thankfully. Having James talking to me so casually after what had just happened made me think; how often do we forgive people not because they deserve our forgiveness, but because we want to keep them in our lives? Because we're not ready to let them go? I didn't deserve James’ forgiveness, or friendship for that matter. He had been by my side since my very first day here and I broke his heart in front of all his friends. It was cruel and immoral. A real friend would have never done that, and yet he had forgiven me. In the span of a couple of hours, he had moved on with his life and decided that I was worth keeping around despite my vile nature.
''Frank, are you okay?'' He asked, snatching me out of my daydream for the second time.
''Oh, yeah, sorry. I got lost in my thoughts.”
''Okay, quiet everyone, I would like to make an announcement.'' Gerard said, catching everyone’s attention. He hadn't told me anything about an announcement. I positioned myself in my chair, straightening my back.
''I want to take a few minutes to inform you that we will be going on a 3 day field trip in two weeks. We will go see various Art museums in New York City and since it’s for educational purposes, I convinced school to make it free for Art students. You will only need to pay for your meals and personal expenses. The trip will take place on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th of November. I’m going to pass some sheets around; if you are under 18, you need to have these filled and signed by your parents. If you are over 18, you can take care of it yourself. You need to bring back the sheets by October 27th. I will see you all next class, have a good weekend.'' He said, passing the sheets around. Everyone seemed pretty excited about this announcement, but no one could have been as excited as me. New York City! That was exactly 45 minutes away from Belleville!
Ayy guys, I know this is kinda shit but I re-wrote it the best I could. Reading the first draft of this kind of made me want to push my fingers into my eyes, but keep in mind I was really young when I first published this so some chapters just aren't that great. I swear when I start adding new chapters to the story I'll make it up to you!
Thanks to everyone who took the time to leave some comments, you're all wonderful<3