I Can't Do This On My Own *Frerard*

Frank**

I was only planning on staying for music today. Last night I beat the shit out of my wall again. Now my hand was all swollen and bruised... Great.

The walk to school was quiet. Thank god Music was first. Because I don't want to be anywhere near Gerard longer than I have to be.

My hand was throbbing like crazy but I didn't care. I deserved the pain. Brendon has always been right. I'm broken. No one wants me. Even Gerard thinks I'm a fag... I wish I had of gotten hit by that car.

Soon I saw the entrance to the school. I sighed to myself... Here goes nothing...

--- --- --- --- ---

Of course, Gerard had to sit next to me. I caught him out of the corner of my eye, looking at me. I could tell he wanted to say something, but thank god the teacher spoke first. "Okay, class. We have a late presentation today. Frank, Whenever you are ready" The teacher smiled at me. "What song are you doing?" I sighed standing up "It's an original. I called it 'Best friends forever'"

" Best Friends Forever
Best Friends Forever
Best Friends Forever, but not now

We've always been such Best Friends forever
Best Friends Forever, but not now

I don't know what I did
Or what I said 'make you cry
I wish I could take all the pain away from your eyes

Things just don't seem right
When you're not by my side

Best Friends Forever
Best Friends Forever
Best Friends Forever, but not now

We've always been such Best Friends forever
Best Friends Forever
Best Friends Forever, but not now

Best Friends Forever
Best Friends Forever
Best Friends Forever, but not now

We've always been such Best Friends forever
Best Friends Forever
Best Friends Forever, but not now

Things just don't feel right
When you're not by my side
This world just seems too big for me when you're not by my side

I need you around."

When I finally looked up again, everyone's mouths were open. Then everyone started clapping. Except for Gerard... Who looked like he was about to cry.

I was hiding tears of my own. "Wow, Frank... That was wonderful, You said you wrote that?" I nodded. "Beautiful."

When the bell rang, I was the first up, just wanting to get home now. But of course, Gerard had to grab my arm. "Frankie, wait" His voice was strained. Which made my tears fall. "What." I snapped "Apologizing again? How many times are you gonna do that? Huh? How many times are you going to make me cry and say sorry for it?" I sobbed "Let me go" I pulled my arm out of his grip and ran. Like the sissy I am. I ran.

All the way home.

"Mom?!" I sobbed... I need her.

"MOM!" I called out again, Something seemed off...

"Momma where are you?" I started walking around the house until I came to her room... I stopped dead in my tracks. A scream, that should have come out. Got caught in my throat. Because there in the middle of her room, was her bleeding body. A gunshot in her chest, gasping for life. Her blood staining the light purple carpeting on her floor.

"MOMMA!" I screamed out. Falling to my knees by her side. She was alive, but bearly... Choking on her own blood... I was in too much shock to do anything. I was a sobbing shaking mess. I was trying with everything to stop the bleeding...

"Yo-Yo-Your" she wheezed "Fa-Fa..." "Shhh," I sobbed. Blood was all over me by now. My mind was running way to fast and I felt like I was going to pass out... I couldn't lose her... No...

I then noticed a piece of paper taped to her bed... What I read made me sick...

'I told you I'd find you guys... See what happens when you run? YOU'RE NEXT! ~Dad'

"FRANK?!" I thought I heard someone yell "Frankie!" Another voice yelled "IM SORRY, I WAS JUST SCARED, I-" The voice stopped... "Fuck, MIKEY! CALL 911"

I looked behind me to see Gerard standing there, slowly walking towards me with his arms out. "Ge-Ger- Sh- My- I- He- Da-" "Shh Shh Shh" He grabbed my arms lightly "Frankie, Come here"

"NO!" I screamed out, I distantly heard Mikey talking on the phone, everything was going by so slowly. "MOM!" I cried, I saw Mikey's hand in front of me, being placed on my mom's neck "No... Barely...- Gerard, Get him out of here, take him back to our house." Mikey said demandingly.

"NO, LET ME GO!" I sobbed out, "PLEASE" My voice was giving out but I didn't care. My mom was dying.

"Frank" Gerard pulled my arms away from her. Leading me out of the house. I collapsed on the grass outside though... "Frankie..." He sounded desperate "Please, Get up let me take care of you," He said gently... "He's back" I sobbed out. Gerard stiffened.

"Breathe Frank. It's scary, I know. But I need you to calm down " He said "Help is on the way, Okay? Mikey called for help" I clung on to him for dear life, Sobbing obnoxiously loud. "Frankie... Shhh" Gerard sounded as if he were gonna cry himself...

Soon Mikey walked out. A distressed look on his face "No..." Gerard whispered. Everything stopped.

I didn't even realize I broke out of Gerard's arms until Mikey was stopping me at my front door. "NO! MOMMA! STOP, LET ME GO!" I screamed. Scratching, Kicking and punching trying to break free. and I managed to again. Until Gerard pinned me down in the hall.

I heard yelling, sirens, talking, my own screaming sobs and a very faint "I'm sorry for your loss"

Gerard had me restrained in his arms, Shushing and rocking me... My world was falling apart. My mom was... gone.

The last thing I remember before exhaustion sent me into a black abyss was Gerard telling me he'd make sure I stayed safe...

Notes

I made myself cry writing this.

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