I Can't Do This On My Own *Frerard*

Frank**

"So. You and Brendon have gotten closer eh?" Gerard asked from beside me. We were currently in music class. And I was trying to ignore him.

"Why do you care?" I mumbled "I don't. But I also know how he is, I don't trust him and I don't want to see you get hurt" I rolled my eyes "You didn't seem to care when it was Oliver and Ronnie doing it." He sighed "Frank, Yes I did. Oliver was the one saying I didn't care! And he was lying"

I looked at him finally "Oh? Well, I remember you telling me to kill myself too, so." he let out a groan "I apologized for that!" "You still said it."

"Boys. Stop talking" Mr.Wilconson spat

Thank god the bell rang. I got out of there as fast as possible. And waiting for me was Brendon "Hey babe" He kissed my cheek.

Oh yeah, he officially asked me out. Mom knows Mom loves him. She's happy I found someone who makes me happy.

We were all sitting at lunch now, By all I mean Brendon, Ray Mikey and I.

"So what song are you doing for your assignment?" Mikey asked curiously "I made my own. I would tell you but its a surprise" I laughed "Can you tell me?" Brendon asked with a sly smile "Nope! Sorry" He frowned and rolled his eyes... Wow moody.

"Has Gerard done anything else to you?" I shook my head "Nah, just being his normal self." I mumble "I'm sorry Frankie" I just shrugged "Best friends don't last forever." He nodded sadly.

"You still coming over after school?" I asked Brendon, with puppy dog eyes, He smiled at me "Of course love" "Mhhhh, Good" I smiled snuggling into him, he just chuckled.

__________________

"Mom? I'm home! Brendon is here!" I called out, letting go of Brendon's hand. "Mom??" I called out again. Walking into the kitchen I spotted a note on the counter.

'Hi sweetheart, I'm over at Kerries again. 40$ for pizza. be good'

"Oh. She's not gonna be home..." I mumbled "She was supposed to make pasta" I mumbled, "You'll be fine without it." Brendon sighed "Oh?" I looked at him "Face it, Frankie. You're a little chubby, I'm sure you can do without those carbs..." I furrowed my eyebrows at him... I guess he was right...

"Ye-Yeah I guess..." "Listen, I don't mean it in a mean way, Just a truthful one..." I nodded knowingly "She uh... Left 40 for pizza" I mumbled, he gave me a look "Well what do you want me to do with it?" he smirked, "Let's buy weed!" I sighed. "Weed makes me hungry. That won't work." He rolled his eyes "Then I'll smoke and you can be a big baby about it." He snapped.

"Bren... Please don't..." I begged, he turned around to face me, instantly there was a punch to my cheek.

"Shit..." He choked "Frankie... I, Oh god I'm sorry!" I looked up at him a little worried "Yo-You hit me!" I cried "I- I know. Fuck. I didn't mean to, I just go so mad!" I sniffled a little... "Just go... For now please..." He went to say something but I cut him off before he could "No! Go!"

This time it was a slap.

What the fuck?!

"Frankie fuck... I'm sorry!" He sobbed "Why are you doing this?!" I sobbed "I really think you should go. I'll text you... But Please"

He didn't say anything, But he did walk away which I was thankful for.

Maybe it was just a one-time thing?...

Boy, was I wrong...
_______________________________ 3 months later. Begining of december.

"Frankie... I'm worried" My mom stood at my door with her fuzzy housecoat on. "Why Momma? Dad isn't back right?!" She shook her head and walked in and sat down on my bed "Then what?" She sighed "Are the kids... At school doing this to you?" I thought for a minute. I've never lied to my mom before... But, How would she react to Brendon doing this?

I decided the truth was better in the long run...

"No..." I choked out "Then... Oh god, Frankie! It's Brendon isn't it?" I nodded, tears falling down my face. "Hunny, I don't want to be that mom, but you need to break up with him..." I nodded "I- I will... I promise..." she nodded "I hope so..."

_

The next day at lunch Brendon didn't sit with me. It's like he knew... I wasn't about to do this at school though...

"Hey Frank, Mikey" Gerard smiled, god his silver hair really suited him. I guess you could say we've made amends. Not as close as we used to be, more like we just talk... Acquaintances...

"Hi..." I mumble "Hey Gee!" Mikey smiled "Whats up with Frank?" Gerard asked, Mikey, frowned and looked at me, then whispered something to his brother, most likely telling him about Brendon my assumptions were proven correct when I was being pulled up by my arm and dragged to the bathroom.

"Frank what the fuck!" "It was my fault! It's always my fault!" I sobbed, his face softened "It's not your fault, Frankie..." I nodded "I just, I make him mad! Bu-But he says sorry, every time... He. He doesn't mea-" "Ye he does! Frank! Don't make excuses for his shit behavior. He's manipulative and abusive." He growled

I let out a sob "I know!" He pulled me into his arms and hugged me "I-I'm breaking up with him after school... I promise..." He nodded "Do you want me there, Or Mikey? Or both of us?" I shook my head "I'll call if I need you guys though... He nodded and gave a smile.

"Let's go eat then" He offered, My face fell "I'm uh... Not hungry" I shrugged "Frank, is there something you're not telling me?" I shook my head "Just not hungry is all" He nodded "Okay..."

On our way home from school, Brendon was in a better mood. Thank god. I didn't want to do this at home though... So We went to a park.

"Why'd we come here, love?" He asked, a smile on his face... His face that I've grown to be scared of... "We need to talk..." I said awkwardly, He let go of my hand, no longer wearing a smile... "About what." He sounded mad now... Great... And there was nobody around... Even better...

"I... Uh... I think we should break up..." I whispered, "Excuse me?!" He half yelled "Bren, I'm just not happ-" I was cut off with a harsh slap. "That's why I want to break up" I snapped "We'll good fucking luck, No one wants someone whos been broken" He snapped back "I'm not broken..." He scoffed "Not yet." he growled.

With that, he fed a hard punch to my nose. Instantly hearing a crack. He pushed me down onto the snow, My blood tainting its fresh white beauty. "I never even fucking loved you! I should have let you get hit by that car!" He yelled.

He kicked my ribs, and my face over and over. pulling me up by my hair he punched me in my eye. "No one's going to want you after this." He said darkly while ripping my pant's off.

"Brendon... Don't Please" I choked out... "Shut up you whore." He snapped, continuing to do this unimaginable thing. He flipped me around and painfully shoved himself inside me. I could feel my insides tearing and the bruises on my legs already forming.

"St-Stop!" I sobbed. Over and over again...

After what felt like forever, he... finished. Then he walked away without a second word.

I was left in excruciating pain. in the cold. Beaten and bloody, and alone... I found no use in calling for anyone... Because Brendon is right... Nobody wants someone whos Broken... I found enough strength to pull my pants up, but that was it before I passed out from pain.

Mikey**

"Have you heard from Frank since lunch?" Gerard asked me worriedly I looked up at him confused "No? Why have you?" He shook his head "He was supposed to text me after he broke up with Brendon, It's been 4 hours..."

It's like I felt my world stop. Not just because of what Gerard said, But I could now hear Linda downstairs, sobbing to our mother.

"We're leaving," I said quickly. Standing up. Dragging Gerard behind me.

"Oh good, Have you guys seen my Frankie?" Linda sobbed, She looked a mess, Holding a wadded up kleenex in her shaking hand. We slowly shook our heads "Were going out to find him right now, Linda" she nodded and let out another painful sob.

"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to skin that fucking big headed cock and kill him" Gerard yelled, obviously passed the point of being pissed. "He better be okay, He better pray to god Frank is okay. Mikey IF FRANK ISN'T OKAY" "Gee, Please calm down..." I said shakingly.

He spun around, fire in his eyes. I took a step back "We'll find him" I whispered...

We heard a choked groan from the left of us and instantly Gerard was off in that direction, "Frankie?" He called out gently, his voice has changed dramatically in seconds.

"Oh fuck, Frankie...!" He sobbed.

Frank**

I didn't know how long I was laying in the cold for. But my body had gone numb... It was dark and I still was in so much pain. I thought I heard arguing, but I couldn't get enough strength to talk... So instead I let out, what I hopped, was a loud groan...

Things went silent. Then I heard feet crunching in the snow... "Frankie? The voice asked... The voice belinging to Gerard, I cracked my eye open and huffed, Noticing his silvery white hair right away, "Oh Fuck, Frankie..." He choked on his sob and bent down next to me. "H-Hi..." I sighed "Fuck. Mikey call mom!" Gerard lifted me slightly, cradling my broken body.

______

"Gerard, what the hell happened?!" Donna asked when Gerard sat down in the back seat, holding me like a small child. "Brendon." Was all he forced out.

The drive back was long and painful. But we made it. Mom saw me and she sobbed so hard. I was taken to the bathroom, and Gerard gently cleaned me up. "He's never going to touch you again, Frankie." He stated... I nodded "Thank you... Gee" I whispered...

This was the Gerard I remember... Maybe he's better now...

Notes

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