Homeland
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Frank’s POV
I woke up and was alone in bed and my head was pounding so I dragged myself out of bed and went to the kitchen where Gerard was in his pants making a coffee.
Gerard turned around and jumped when he saw me.
“I was going to bring you some coffee and some painkillers.” Gerard said and I smiled as I walked over to him and kissed his cheek.
“Well I woke up in a empty bed so of course I was going to get out of bed and come look for you.” I said and Gerard smiled as he looked at me.
“I’m always going to be here Frankie. I’m always going to be beside you.” Gerard said and I smiled as I kissed him which Gerard returned.
“I know you are.” I said and Gerard smiled as he looked down and you could see he was thinking about something.
“What you thinking about?” I asked and Gerard shook his head.
“Don’t worry about it okay.” Gerard said quietly as he walked past me which made me frown and I looked over to where Gerard was stood and I saw a letter so I walked over and read the letter and I went looking for Gerard.
“You are going to drop the charges on the son of a bitch?” I said seriously as I walked into the sitting room.
“The lawyer said that the son of a bitch is going to say I was consenting and the only reason I said it was rape was because I was off my meds and I couldn’t remember consenting.” Gerard said and I frowned at him.
“But you have a rape kit saying you was raped, you have PTSD because of what happened. Yes being off your meds doesn’t help here but you still have evidence of what he did to you.” I said and Gerard shook his head.
“Being off my meds is enough to throw this case out the window, why should I bother with living through the memories and being in court when I can just drop the charges and get on with life.” Gerard said and I looked at him shocked.
“Baby no it isn’t, being of your meds was a result of me being away and we both know that sent you potty. I won’t have you living in fear in your own home. I won’t have you going back to how you was when I got back.” I said and Gerard looked down as he rubbed his arm.
“Then what am I to do Frank? I don’t want to be a prisoner inside of my home but if that’s what I got to be then that’s what I have to do.” Gerard whispered and I sighed as I walked over to him and caught hold of his hand.
“We can move, as long as I can get to base we can move. I won’t have you living in fear of that man.” I said as I cupped Gerard face with my hand.
“I’m already in fear of him.” Gerard said quietly as a tear rolled down his cheek and I moved my thumb and wiped the tear away and I softly kissed him which Gerard returned and I pulled him into a hug which Gerard returned.
“Please don’t drop the charges baby.” I said quietly and Gerard pulled back and looked at me.
“You are still a victim at the end of the day. You deserve to have justice and be able to live in peace.” I said and Gerard looked down and sighed.
“I don’t know if I can relive it all again though.” Gerard quietly as another tear rolled down his cheek.
I pulled Gerard into a hug and held him close to me as I kissed the side of his head.
“I’ll be right beside you okay. Every step of the way.” I whispered into his hair and kissed the side of his head again.
I left Gerard alone to have some space while I thought things through on what we was going to do and I was sat on my laptop in my office when I heard a crash and I got up and rushed to where the crash sound was and I walked into the bathroom where I found Gerard on the floor with his arms covered in blood along with his hands and I looked round and saw that the mirror was smashed and I heard Gerard cry loudly as I looked back at him and I got the hand towels and got down to his level and looked Gerard over and I noticed him holding a bit of glass.
“Babe.” I said softly as Gerard shook his head.
“Baby look at me.” I said softly and Gerard shook his head again.
“I don’t want you too see me like this.” Gerard sobbed and I made him look at me.
“I’m not going to run from this. It’s me and you okay.” I said and Gerard looked away from me and I moved a towel from one of his arms and examine what he had done to himself and I sighed quietly as I looked a Gerard.
“Baby you need to go to the hospital.” I said softly and Gerard shook his head.
“No hospitals.” Gerard said seriously and I nodded respecting his wishes.
“Okay, but I’m going to have to clean you up though, am I allowed to clean you up?” I said and Gerard thought about it at first before he nodded and I stood up and got the first aid kit and I went back to Gerard and started to clean him up.
After I cleaned Gerard up, I picked him up and put him on the sofa and went to the kitchen to make him a coffee and once I did that I took it into the sitting room and gave it to Gerard.
“If you need me then I’ll be in the bathroom okay. Give me a shout if you want me.” I said softly as I kissed the side of his head and went to clean the mess up in the bathroom.
Once I had cleaned the bathroom I went back out to the sitting room to find Gerard curled up on the sofa staring at the tv blankly.
I sat on the sofa which made Gerard jump slightly as he looked at me and he relaxed slightly when he saw it was me.
“What was that all about Gee, come on you can talk to me. I’m not going to think any less of you if that’s what you are worried about.” I said and Gerard sat up and moved so he was now cuddled into my side and I kissed the top of his head.
“When he did those things to me, it wasn’t the first time.” Gerard whispered and it made my heart break a little.
“How many times?” I asked carefully.
“Three, in total including the beating as well it was three times and he said that if I ever told anyone about it then he would get someone to hurt you and I couldn’t let that happen.” Gerard said as he started to cry again and I pulled him onto my lap and I held him close to me as he cried.
“Nothing is going to happen to me Gee.” I said quietly as I rested my chin on top of his head as Gerard cried.
Gerard had pretty much cried himself to sleep so I took him to our room and made sure he was okay before I walked out the room and got hold of Gerard’s phone and looked for Mikey’s number and hoped that Mikey hadn’t changed his number and it must of been my lucky day as Mikey answered.
“Hey Gee.” Mikey said happily down the phone and I sighed.
“It’s Frank, look I need you to come to mine and Gerard’s place as I could really do with some advice right now.” I said and Mikey sighed as it sounded like he was getting up.
“Give me the address and I’ll be there in 20.” Mikey said and I gave him the address and he hung up and I walked to the bedroom and watched Gerard sleep.
True to his word Mikey showed up 20 minutes later and I opened the door and he walked in and straight away went looking for Gerard.
“Where is he?” Mikey asked sounded worried about Gerard.
“He’s in our room asleep.” I said and Mikey relaxed straight away.
“What happened?” Mikey asked as he followed me to the sitting room.
“Gee has been through a lot of shit and more so when I’ve been away.” I said and Mikey frowned at me.
“Come on I’m in the special forces here I get called and I have to go and you’ll have the joys of this if you pass your basic training and you choose what you want to do.” I said and Mikey nodded.
“Gee bipolar has always been bad when those closest to him are gone, he goes completely crazy and doesn’t take his meds and does stupid things.” Mikey said and I sighed as I looked down.
“Is my brother okay? I mean he looked pretty lost at the party and there was no life in his eyes other when he talked about you or when he was around you.” Mikey said and I looked at him.
“Gee got attacked a few months ago, because of it he now has PTSD and at the moment he’s really struggling and I’m just kinda lost I guess.” I said and Mikey hummed softly.
“I know Gee can look after himself and he somehow managed to survive on the streets but personally I think the PTSD could also be down to when he was on the streets as it wasn’t easy for him. All I can say is don’t let Gee go back to the drugs and alcohol it ruined him the last time and he has such a amazing life now and I don’t want him to fuck this up.” Mikey said and I just shook my head.
“I’m going to be around more so hopefully Gee won’t do nothing too stupid when I’m at work.” I said and Mikey smile at me.
“I think as long as Gee knows that we are here now for him I don’t think he’ll do anything stupid.” Mikey said and I looked at him.
“Gee had a breakdown earlier, he self harmed and broke the mirror in the bathroom and he just broke down in front of me.” I said and Mikey moved and put his hand on my knee.
“Gee can be confusing sometimes and something could just trigger him off and we will never know what that trigger could be.” Mikey said and I messed with my dog tags.
“I knew what the trigger was, I just feel bad I can’t do nothing to help him.” I said and Mikey chuckled softly.
“You just have to show Gee that this doesn’t bother you, which it shouldn’t because you’ve been to war zones and seen a lot of shit. Coming from someone who hasn’t seen Gee for nearly 4 years, I have never seen him so happy in all my life. The smile Gee smiles for you is a true Gerard smile. At the party last night every time I looked over at Gerard he was looking at you with such love in his eyes and you could see he is insanely proud of you. Everything Gee shows you is all true, I don’t know what you and Gee have talked about but Gee doesn’t trust anyone, hell he doesn’t even trust me anymore. You’ve got his trust so don’t fuck this up otherwise I’ll hunt you down and kill you myself.” Mikey said and I chuckled.
“Well if you’re going to kill me, then good luck finding me as I could also be hunting you down.” I said and Mikey smiled as he I looked at the time.
“If you want you can crash on the sofa or share the bed with Gee, but if you share the bed with Gee. Just be aware he hogs the bed, the covers and literally attaches himself onto you and it’s like having your own personal heater.” I said and Mikey chuckled as I stood up.
“Think I’ll let you have the bed, sounds like you two have a good thing on the go there.” Mikey said and I smiled.
“Okay so this place is pretty basic, kitchen is over there, bathroom door is always opened so if it shut then someone is using it but I would just double check as sometimes we do tend to piss with the door open.” I said and Mikey smiled.
“Make yourself at home.” I said as I left Mikey alone and I went over to my office and I got the key and shut it and I locked it quietly as I didn’t trust Mikey enough yet.
I walked into the bedroom and smiled at myself when I saw that Gerard was hogging the covers and was on my side of the bed.
I stripped down to my pants and climbed onto the bed.
“Baby, let me have some of the covers.” I said quietly and Gerard sighed loudly as he moved some of the covers away from him and gave it to me as he roll over and cuddled into my chest which made me smile as I kissed the top of his head and I let the feeling of Gerard’s breathes lull me to sleep.
——————————————————————————————————————
I was woken up by Gerard or Mikey getting into bed and it wasn’t until the person cuddled into my back that I worked out it was Gerard.
“Why is Mikey asleep on the sofa?” Gerard asked quietly as I rolled over to face him.
“I was just worried about you last night so I called Mikey to see what he has to say to help me understand you a bit better.” I said and Gerard smiled sadly.
“Nobody can understand me, even I don’t understand me.” Gerard whispered and I pulled Gerard closer to me and I rolled onto my back and Gerard moved and cuddled into my side as I began to trace my finger up and down his arm and I kissed his forehead which made Gerard sigh quietly.
“Well I’ll give it everything I’ve got to understand you baby. We’re in this together okay.” I said quietly and Gerard looked at me and smiled at which I returned.
I heard someone clear their throat and I looked over Gerard to see Mikey wrapped in the blanket I gave him last night.
“Does anyone want coffee?” Mikey asked and I smiled.
“Yeah.” Me and Gerard said together and Mikey chuckled as he walked off and I looked at Gerard.
“Come on babe, lets go and keep your brother company.” I said and Gerard smiled as he moved and got up and I watched him as I smiled and I got myself out of bed and put some shorts on and went to join the two brothers.
“I feel like we should do some family bonding.” Mikey said as he sat in the chair wrapping the blanket round himself more.
“I’m just going to go and draw.” Gerard said quietly as he stood up and walked out the sitting room and I watched him walked to the kitchen and he sat round the island and he started to draw which made me smile.
“You have family or you a lost course like me and Gee?” Mikey asked and I frowned at him.
“Yes I have family and I’m close to my family. You and Gee aren’t lost courses anymore you both have found a purpose in life, Yeah Gee May not of completely found his yet but he’ll get there.” I said and Mikey smiled as he looked at Gerard who was miles away listening to music and was drawing.
“Promise me one thing.” Mikey said as he looked at me.
“If anything happens to me, promise me you’ll look after him for me and don’t ever abandon him.” Mikey said and I smiled at him.
“I promise okay. Gee means a lot to me and I’ve never really been happier than what I am now.” I said and Mikey smiled.
“How did you two meet?” Mikey asked and I chuckled to myself.
“He was a one night stand and I just couldn’t get enough.” I said and Mikey chuckled as he rolled his eyes.
“What about you, got anyone in your life?” I asked and Mikey shook his head.
“I had someone but they was trouble and done a lot of drugs and I didn’t want to be with them anymore so I left and now I just have the army really and you and Gee.” Mikey said and I smiled.
“So you a gay lord like me and your brother or a oddball?” I asked which made Mikey laugh as he smiled.
“I’m a gay lord.” Mikey said and I chuckled as I heard my phone go off obviously Gerard must of heard it as he walked into the sitting room.
“It’s Jasey, she pretty upset about something.” Gerard said softly and I smiled at him as I stood up and took my phone and went to mine and Gerard’s room hoping Gerard would sit with Mikey and catch up.
I was on the phone for almost a hour and what Jasey told me broke my heart. I walked into the sitting room and smiled when I saw Gerard and Mikey getting along so I went to the kitchen and got my cigarettes and went outside and sat on the floor as a few tears rolled down my cheek.
I don’t know how long I was out here for but the door opened and shut which made me look up and I saw Gerard and smiled sadly at him as he sat down next to me and pulled me into his side and he kissed the top of my head.
“He’s dead Gee, he couldn’t hold on.” I sniffed as I moved away from Gerard and brought my knee up and hugged it and Gerard rested his hand on top of mine.
“I’m sorry to hear that Frank.” Gerard said softly and I looked at him.
“I’ve lost my best friend.” I whispered as I looked down and Gerard pulled me back to his side and he kissed the side of my head.
Gerard didn’t say anything but him just held me which I was thankful for.
The back door opened and Mikey came out.
“I’m going to leave you guys too it as I’m guessing you both just want to be alone and I’ll respect that and leave.” Mikey said and I felt Gerard move his head.
“Thanks Mikes, message me when you’re not busy and we’ll meet up for a coffee.” Gerard said.
“I will Gee, both of you take care of yourselves also Gee take your meds.” Mike said and I smiled to myself as Mikey’s protective side showing.
“I will Mikes.” Gerard said and the back door shut and Gerard looked at me and kissed the top of my head.
“Let’s go inside where it’s a little warmer.” Gerard said quietly and I shook my head.
“You can go inside, I’ll be okay out here for a while.” I said quietly and Gerard moved as he knelt in front of me which made me look at him.
“I’ll be inside if you need me. Don’t shut me out okay, you’ve been there for me and now I’m here for you.” Gerard said softly and I smiled as he moved forward and kissed me which I returned.
“Would you like me to cook your favourite?” Gerard asked and I nodded as I did love Gerard’s cooking.
“Okay, I’m just inside it you need me.” Gerard said softly as he kissed my forehead and he got up and went inside.
I stayed outside for a few more minutes before I went inside and put my shoes and coat on which made Gerard look at me and frown.
“Where you going?” Gerard asked as I walked over to him.
“I’m just going to find Jase and tell him the news. Hey if I had too would you be okay if he stayed here for a while to get himself cleaned up and in rehab and all that stuff.” I said and Gerard looked down and I could see he was uncomfortable about this idea but he sighed.
“I don’t have a choice do I.” Gerard said quietly.
“You do babe.” I said and Gerard looked at me.
“But I don’t though, if I say no how do I know you won’t go behind me back and bitch about me saying how I don’t understand your brotherhood and all that shit and making me out to be the bad person in all of this.” Gerard said and I smiled at him.
“You do have a choice in this Gee, this is your home and if bringing Jase here will make you unhappy then I won’t bring him in.” I said and Gerard sighed.
“Do whatever you want to do, I can’t stop you.” Gerard said quietly and I sighed.
“Babe.” I said and Gerard looked at me.
“Do what you need to do Frank.” Gerard said snapped and I sighed as I kissed his cheek and I went out and went looking for Jase.
I managed to find him and he looked like he was in a bad way.
“Hey Jase.” I said and Jase looked at me and smiled as he sat up and moved over and I sat next to him.
“Have you heard anything about Ollie?” Jase asked as he lit up a joint and I looked round him and saw needles as well as some other stuff.
“Ollie is dead, he died early this morning.” I said quietly as I looked down.
“Frank I’m so sorry.” Jase said and I sighed quietly.
“It’s just us now Jase and I can’t lose you as well.” I said and I looked at him.
“Please, I’m just a nobody with a fucked up head and struggling on the streets nobody gives a shit Frank, we risked our lives for this fucking country and look how they treat us. Now that we’re useless they threw us away and they don’t give a shit anymore.” Jase said and I sighed as I did agree with him but I was lucky, Jase wasn’t So lucky.
“You can get help for this Jase.” I said and Jase shook his head.
“I’m too far gone to be helped Frank, nothing is going to help me.” Jase said and I sighed as I looked at him and I knew what I had to do and I just hoped Gerard was going to support me in this.
“Pack your shit up.” I said seriously and Jase looked at me.
“Pack your shit up, you are coming home with me and you are going to have a shower and then you are going to rehab to get yourself cleaned up. Then You are going to find a job and keep yourself on the straight and narrow.” I said seriously and Jase shook his head.
“You shouldn’t worry about me Frank, you should be focused on that boyfriend of yours.” Jase said and I sighed.
“You are my brother so I am going to worry about you. Me and Gee are engaged now.” I said and Jase looked at me and smiled.
“Please come back with me so we can help you.” I said softly and Jase sighed as he looked down.
“Will Gerard be okay with this?” Jase asked and I sighed as I looked down.
“I’m hoping he will be okay with it.” I said and I looked at Jase.
“I promise not to hit on you or your fiancée even though guys don’t float my boat.” Jase said and I chuckled as I smiled at him.
“Come on kid, let’s see how Gerard will react to this then.” I said as I stood up and help Jase with his stuff and we went back to mine.
We got to mine and we walked in and I found the house spotless like normal.
“Babe where are you?” I asked as I took my shoes off and looked at Jase.
“Take your shoes off and then you can go to the bathroom and strip from your clothes and have a shower and tidy yourself up a bit.” I said and Jase frowned at me.
Gerard walked round the corner and he looked at me and Jase.
“You be nice this is his home as well as mine.” I said seriously to Jase as I walked over to Gerard and kissed him which he returned.
“Want a drink?” Gerard asked Jase and he shook his head.
“No thanks, I need a shower though.” Jase said and I looked at Gerard’s body language and there was nothing hostile about it.
“You can help yourself with mine and Frank’s stuff also if you leave you stuff outside the door then I’ll wash it for you.” Gerard said and Jase looked at me and frowned at how Gerard was being.
“Thanks Gerard.” Jase said as he walked to the bathroom and he shut the door but not before he stripped from his clothes first generally not caring that me and Gerard was around.
“If he has fucking drugs in this house Frank I swear to fucking god he is out of here.” Gerard said seriously as he checked Jase pockets before putting his clothes in the wash and I sat round the island and just watched him.
“I’m sure he doesn’t have drugs on him.” I said and that’s when Gerard pulled a needle and some other stuff out of the pocket.
“I can’t have this in my home Frank, you need to sit him down and tell him that drugs and alcohol aren’t allowed in this house. Also he’s not allowed to bring girls back here.” Gerard said seriously and I smiled at him as I got up and walked over to him and caught hold of his hip and pulled him gently towards me.
“Don’t worry I was going to have a chat with him after he had a shower. You are stronger than all of this okay and you have to show Jase there is a light at the end of the tunnel.” I said softly and Gerard looked at me.
“I’ll go ask him if he has anything else.” I said softly as I kissed Gerard which he returned and I looked at him and smiled at him which Gerard returned.
I walked off and opened the bathroom door which made Jase jump and turn around so his back was too me.
“Dude do you mind I’m naked here.” Jase said and I shrugged my shoulders.
“I’ve seen your ass before and it does nothing for me and it’s the same as you dick bit small for my liking.” I said and Jase looked at me.
“If you have drugs then you need to get rid of them.” I said seriously.
“Haven’t got anything on me.” Jase said.
“Bullshit, Gerard found drugs in your pockets when he went to wash your clothes. Now you either get rid of the drugs and let me and Gee help you or you get your shit and leave because I’m not putting Gee at risk here.” I said and Jase turned round and I still looked at his face and my eyes never wondered round his body which is what I think he wanted me to do.
“The Dude is fine, he’s just a sensitive little bitch.” Jase said and I moved and punched him round round the face.
“The Dude isn’t fine and he isn’t a sensitive bitch. He’s probably been through the same sort shit as we have been through minus him going to war. You need to respect our house and our rules if you want to stay off the streets. Also if you actually speak to Gerard instead of judging him, he might actually be able to help you and you could even learn something from him.” I said as I stood up and walked out the bathroom and I went to mine and Gerard’s room and went looking for some clothes.
“I’ve sorted some clothes out for him.” Gerard said and I jumped as I looked at him.
“He’s got some of the clothes I don’t like or don’t fit in anymore.” Gerard said and I smiled at him as he walked over and sat next to me and he looked at my hands.
“Think punching him might of been a bit extreme.” Gerard said quietly and I chuckled as I lifted his hand up and kissed it.
“The bugger needs to know he isn’t going to be the boss of the house so don’t be afraid to stand up too him. He also said things about you and he should know straight away not to say anything about you.” I said and Gerard smiled as he kissed my cheek and stood up.
“Dinner is ready whenever you are.” Gerard said quietly and I smiled at him as he walked out the room and I just sighed as I stood up and went to join Gerard for something to eat and Gerard also dished something up for Jase which Jase appreciated and ate the food.
Gerard had gone to bed and I was sat in the sitting room with Jase as we was watching a film.
“If I said I wanted help, would you and Gerard be able to help me?” Jase asked and I looked at him.
“If you want help Jase then all you have to do is just ask for it and me and Gee will help you.” I said and Jase smiled slightly.
“I don’t want to be like this anymore, I want to go back to being the person I was before everything happened.” Jase said and I smiled at him.
“You will be, I’ll go and get you a blanket and a pillow and you can have the sofa tonight. If you want a cigarette then there on the side and go outside to smoke, also Gee may get up at some point of the night or he may shout out, don’t worry about it okay I have that covered.” I said as I got up and went to get the stuff from mine and Gerard’s room.
“Babe?” Gerard said sleepily.
“Yeah it’s me Gee, go back to sleep and I’ll be back in a minute.” I said quietly as I went out the room and gave Jase the blanket and pillow.
“The sofa is more comfier than the chair.” I said and Jase chuckled as he moved to the sofa and just crashed.
“Night Jase.” I said quietly as I dimmed the light down a little and I turned all the lights out and then I went to mine and Gerard’s room where my bedside light was on and Gerard was still asleep.
I stripped down to my pants and I climbed into bed which made Gerard sigh loudly as he rolled over and cuddled into my side which made me smile as I kissed the top of his head as Gerard got himself comfy around round me.
“Love you Gee.” I said quietly and Gerard moved his head and kissed my chest.
is this being continued? x
12/14/18