Fantastic Bastards in Monroeville (Frerard)

After getting outta the shower and getting dressed, I headed to the cafeteria. As I made my way there, I suddenly stopped and looked at the giant calendar hanging up on the wall of the hallway. We’re in the month of April, and I’ve been here for a few days now.
Wait a minute. If it’s April, then that means…
Oh god. My birthday is today. I almost forgot about my fucking birthday. How could I have missed that? I’ve lost track of the days since I got here. Every day here is the same, anyway.
“Hey, Gee!” Frank exclaimed, skipping happily over to me. “Good morning! Whatcha looking at?”
“The calendar. Today is...my birthday,” I said, hoping that Frank won’t throw me into the spotlight. I shouldn’t have said anything…
“What? For real? How old are you now?”
“20,” I said reluctantly.
“That’s awesome! You’re almost legal!” Frank said. “I’m 19. My birthday is on Halloween!”
Okay, that’s awesome. That’s like the best day you can have your birthday on. For real.
“We should tell everyone it’s your birthday!” Frank exclaimed suddenly, running down the hall. I just about collapsed.
“No!” I yelled, running after Frank into the day room.
“Guess what, everyone? Today is Gerard’s birthday!” Frank announced to everyone. There was nothing I could do to stop him. The damage has already been done.
“Oh, really? Happy birthday, Gerard!” Hayley said, smiling at me as she got vitals from a patient.
“We should sing happy birthday!” Frank said. Everyone in the room nodded in agreement.
Oh, fuck no…
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Gerard. Happy birthday to you!” everyone sang in unison. I swear I could feel myself shrink…
Frank wrapped me around his arms, giving me a bear hug. I happily accepted it, wrapping my arms around Frank and smiled, despite embarrassing the shit outta me.
“Congratulations, Gee,” Frank whispered.
“Thank you,” I said back to him. I really, really like this silly boy.

_ _ _
I managed to eat a little bit of my breakfast and lunch; about half of each meal. Even though I could have done better, I know Frank is proud of me nonetheless. After group was visiting hours, and I was almost 100 percent positive that Mikey was gonna come see me. My predictions were confirmed when I saw Mikey walk in, smiling at me with a present in his hand.
“Hey, Gerard. Happy birthday. I brought you a gift. I also baked you a cake, but the people here wouldn’t let me bring it. They’re afraid of it being laced with something, so I guess you’ll have to eat it when you get home,” Mikey said. He suddenly looked at me in a bewildered manner when he noticed I didn’t have my notepad on me. “Gerard, where’s your notepad?”
“Don’t need it,” I smiled. Mikey just about dropped my gift when he heard me speak.
“Gerard...you’re talking! Oh my god!” he said shakily. I just laughed and pulled my brother into a hug. “Good to have you back,”
“Thanks,” I said. Me and Mikey walked together to the cafeteria and sat down. As we sat, I looked into my brother’s eyes and thought about what he said the other day that made me upset. Maybe there was a way I could change Mikey’s mind about Frank…
It was at that moment when Frank walked in, a piece of paper in his hand. He sat down with us, smiling.
“Hey, Frank,” I said, turning to Mikey. “Mikey, this is Frank. Frank, this is my brother Mikey,”
I kinda woulda expected to see Mikey mad at me hanging out with Frank against his wishes, but I guess I was wrong. He happily shook Frank’s hand, introducing himself. I guess it’s because Mikey didn’t wanna ruin my special day. Who knows?
“I made this for you!” Frank said, handing me the piece of paper. I looked down at it--it’s a crudely drawn picture of us holding hands, both of ourselves drawn in as stick-figures. Art clearly isn’t Frank’s field of expertise, but I still appreciate it nonetheless.
“Thank you, Frankie. I appreciate it. I’ll see about hanging it up in my room,” I said, holding the picture in my hand.
“Awesome!” Frank said, giving me a big bear hug, squeezing me in his embrace. Mikey laughed, smiling.
“So you’re a friend of Gerard?” he asked.
“Yep. We’re roomies!” Frank replied.
“That’s cool. It’s good to see someone be there for Gerard, knowing what kind of place you guys are in,” Mikey said, turning to me. “I’m sorry about what I said the other day, Gerard. Friends are important to have here. I’m happy to see you making one, knowing how anti-social you usually are,”
“Thanks, Mikey. I appreciate it,” I said, giving Mikey a smile. I’m happy that he admitted he was wrong. Frank may not be all that right in the head, but who here isn’t? That’s why he’s here, and that’s why I am here too.
“Well, why don’t you open this up?” Mikey asked, handing me my present. I nodded and tore at the wrapping paper as Frank watched. I smiled when I saw what it was--a sketchpad with some watercolors. My old sketchpad ran out of paper recently, and the watercolors here are not that good, so this is perfect.
“Thank you. It’s perfect,” I said, walking outta my seat and up to Mikey, giving him a hug.
“You’re welcome,” Mikey said, patting my back as he returned my hug. When we parted, he looked back and forth between me and Frank, then settled his eyes onto Frank. “Frank, I think you’ve accomplished something. You’ve made Gerard come outta his social shell a little. Thank you,”
“You’re welcome, Mikey,” Frank smiled. “I’ll take good care of him for you! Right, Gee?” he asked, turning to me.
“Yeah, definitely,” I said, even though I personally think that I should be the one taking care of Frank. Oh, well. We’re there for each other, at least.
“Well, I gotta get ready for work. I’ll try to make some more time to see you, Gerard,” Mikey said, making his way out of the day room as we all walked together.
“Okay, Mikes. See you later,” I said, bringing Mikey into one last hug before he headed for the exit.
“See you later, Gerard. Be good now,” Mikey said as he went out the door, leaving me and Frank behind. Frank turned to me, smiling.
“You’ve got a good brother, Gee. Keep him close to you, okay?”
“I know. I will, Frankie,” I said. We walked to our room where I put away my new art set. That was when we heard someone crying. At that moment, we both knew who it was. We walked outta our room and found Brendon in the hallway, his face in his hands as he wept.
“Hey, Brendon. What’s wrong?” Frank asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You okay?”
“What’s it look like?” Brendon asked, sniffling. “I’m not okay,”
“Why are you crying?” I asked.
“Because...I miss him!” Brendon replied, crying harder into his hands.
“Who?”
“My boyfriend Ryan. He’s gone!”
“What do you mean he’s gone?”
“He...he died in a car crash. It’s been three months and I still miss him! I was sent here because of my depression and my constant crying over him. I want out of this place!” Brendon yelled, still sniffling. “Bob and Jimmy won’t leave me alone. They keep rubbing in my face that Ryan’s dead,”
I looked over to Frank, frowning. I should have known that Bob and Jimmy were behind this. I swear, they can go eat a dick.
“Fuck those guys,” I said. “I’m sorry about your boyfriend. I’m sure he’s watching over you. It’s okay, Brendon. Things will get better, and I’m sure Ryan would want to see you get better,”
Brendon smiled sadly, reaching over and giving me a hug. I accepted it, wrapping my arms around Brendon.
“Group hug!” Frank exclaimed, joining the two of us, wrapping his arms around us. When we parted, Brendon was still smiling.
“Thank you,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” I replied. Brendon nodded and walked off, leaving the two of us. Frank smiled at me.
“You did good,” he said.
“I did? Thank you,” I replied.
“Yeah. He needed some reassurance. It hurts to see him so upset. Maybe he’ll be in a better mood at group,”
“Yeah, maybe,” I nodded. It was at that moment that I yawned, my eyes feeling heavy. I think now was a good time for a nap. “I think I’m gonna lie down for a bit. Feeling pretty tired,”
“Okay, Gee. I’ll see you around later?” Frank asked. I nodded and waved, heading to our room. I landed on the mattress of my bed and got under the covers. Before I could get comfortable, I heard a knock on the door. Ugh. Who could that possibly be, disrupting me from my beauty sleep?
“Gerard, Dr. Levin would like to see you,” Hayley said, calling from the doorway.
What does that fucker want now? Do I really have to see him. Ugh, I swear that staying here is gonna drive me crazy instead of make me better. I reluctantly got up from my bed and followed Hayley out of my room and down the hall to a room. She opened up the door and let me inside. I sat down on a sofa across from Dr. Levin’s desk, where he sat.
“Hello, Gerard. How are you doing?” he asked, looking over my file. “I heard that today’s your birthday?”
“Yeah,” was all I said. I just wanna get this over with so that I can go back to my nap. I could feel myself dozing off on the couch now.
“Well, congratulations. I wanted to talk to you about some of your symptoms you experience,” Dr. Levin said, looking up from his notes. “You recently just started eating more. Can you tell me a little about you not eating when you first got here?”
“Umm…,” I stuttered, unsure of what to say. How am I gonna explain about me feeling so fat? Do I just tell him that I feel fat every time I eat and that the food here is disgusting? I guess so. What else was I gonna say? “Well...I’m fat, so I limit what I eat. The food here isn’t good, so I don’t eat a lot,”
“Gerard, you do realize that you’re not fat, right? If anything, you’re the complete opposite,” Dr. Levin replied. “You’re bordering on anorexic,”
What the fuck is this guy talking about? How the fuck am I “bordering on anorexic”? Has this guy taken a good look at me! I’m as heavy as a beached whale!
“No, I’m not,” I protested. “I’m fat. Can’t you see?”
“You may think that, but that’s part of your illness. It seems to me that you suffer from body dysmorphia. Your new medication is supposed to help with that,”
Body what? What the fuck is that? I furrowed my brow in confusion, hoping for an explanation. Not that it would help me at all, but whatever.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said bluntly, crossing my arms as my body sunk deeper within the couch’s cushions.
“Body dysmorphia is, and I quote: ‘a mental illness involving obsessive focus on a perceived flaw in appearance’. You see yourself as fat when you look at yourself, but the truth is that very thin. This new medication you’re on is supposed to help you with that. Let’s talk about some of your other symptoms. Are you feeling suicidal?”
Ugh. Now this fuckhead wants to talk about my depression and suicidal thoughts? I’d rather not, but what choice do I have? Even though I feel like dying being in this shithole, I can’t say that I outright feel suicidal. Why, though? I think I know why that is, and it’s all because of one person, and his name is Frank. He’s made my stay here in Monroeville less shitty. He manages to put a smile on my face, no matter how bad things may be. I wish I could be with him right now…
“No,” I said flatly. “No, I’m not,”
“Well, that’s good. The medication must be working for that, it seems,” Dr. Levin said, writing down some notes. “It seems like you’re doing better. You’re getting up, you’re going to meals and group, and you’re talking to others. I assume you’re also keeping up with your personal hygiene. We’ll give the new medication a few more days, and I’ll see you again that time, okay? Have a good day, Gerard,”
Dr. Levin waved as I got up and left the room. I know just where I’m going now--back to my room to take that nap. I can honestly say that no matter how annoying Dr. Levin is, he’s right. I have been doing better, but I don’t think it’s because of this stupid new medication I’m on. It’s because I met someone near and dear to me. Frank is the one that motivates me to get better. I get up out of bed because of him. I go to group because of him. I’m still struggling with eating, but I’m doing that because he motivates me to eat. As soon as I entered my room, I got back under the covers and curled up into a ball on my bed, shutting my eyes. I need a nap...now.

_ _ _
I almost ended up missing dinner. Luckily, Frank woke me up in time for it. I don’t need the staff here to be force-feeding me again if I miss a meal. After dinner was a little bit of free time, then nightly group. I managed to talk a little bit, which I’m sure Dr. Haycraft was happy to see. Anything to get outta this place…
Wait a minute? I’m a fucking idiot. If I leave, who’s gonna take care of Frank? Who’s gonna be there for him when he has one of his episodes? The attendees, of course...but they get paid to do that, and I don’t think they really give a shit about him. I’m the one that’s looked out for Frank during my whole stay here. Based on how Frank is, he sadly won’t be able to leave Monroeville anytime soon. Someone’s gotta be there for him, and that person is me.
After the attendees told us it was time for lights out, I headed to my room and got changed into my t-shirt and boxers in the bathroom. I didn’t see Frank after nightly group, so I assumed he went to bed early. As I came out with my clothes, I heard someone crying; someone familiar. I instantly knew who it was and ran up to him in his bed. Frank laid under the sheets, sniffling into his arms crossed over his pillow. I laid down next to him, rubbing his back as he cried.
“What’s wrong, Frankie?” I asked gently.
“I had a bad dream,” Frank replied, his voice shaky.
“Aww, really? What happened?” I questioned.
“I...I had a dream that I was looking for my dad, and you were there with me...but the spider man was chasing after us, and he killed us!” Frank exclaimed, crying harder into his pillow. Who exactly was the spider man? He certainly wasn’t talking about the superhero. I’ve heard Frank mention this guy before.
“Who’s the spider man?” I asked.
“He’s this guy that has spiders come from his hands and mouth. He’s got fangs like a spider and has eight legs like one too!” Frank said, seeming to be animated as he spoke of his imaginary fiend. “Real scary guy, my god!”
“Well, I’ll chase him away for you next time he shows up. How’s that sound?” I smiled, brushing Frank’s hair from his head. Frank looked up at me as if I just told him he won a million dollars.
“Really? You would do that for me?” he asked, his voice joyous.
“Of course, Frankie,”
“Thank you so much! Can you do me a favor?”
“What’s that?” I said.
“Can you...stay with me in bed? Just in case the spider man comes back?” Frank asked, his eyes hopeful. I felt my chest constrict at the weight of what Frank just asked me. Of course I would lie in bed with him. The only thing I’m concerned about are the attendees catching us lying in the same bed…
You know what? Fuck it. If the attendees end up catching us and I get in trouble for it, then so be it. Frank needs me right now. I nodded and got under the covers as Frank scooched over to give me some room.
“Yay!” Frank nearly exclaimed as I got into bed with him. I laughed a little, already feeling warm next to Frank. “The spider man isn’t gonna get me next time! I have you!”
“Yeah, Frank. I’ll scare him off if he comes,” I said, going along with Frank’s delusion, even though I shouldn’t, but the last thing I wanna do is upset Frank. Just as long as he’s not a threat to himself or others, I can continue to play along with Frank’s hallucinations and false beliefs.
Frank all of a sudden didn’t look well. He looked like something was on his mind. Whatever it was, I wanted to know. I wasn’t going to bed with an upset Frank. I wanted him to be happy as much as I wanted him to be safe.
“What’s wrong, Frank?” I asked.
“Oh...nothing,” Frank said, biting his lip.
“Bullshit. Come on, tell me what’s on your mind,” I said. Frank looked down for a while, seeming like hours rather than minutes. He finally looked back up at me with those hazel eyes I just love so much.
“You promise you won’t judge me?” Frank asked, his eyes doe-like. What could he possibly be hiding from me that would make me judge him? I’m sure it’s nothing serious...right?
“I promise, Frankie,” I said.
“Well...you see, I’ve never kissed anyone before, and I’ve always wanted to experience it...but I never got the chance,” Frank replied. That was when I felt butterflies flutter in my stomach. Frank wants me to kiss him. I certainly didn’t expect him to say something like that. What if the attendees catch us? I would be in really deep shit if that happened. I’ve had experience kissing before; I got that from dating Lindsey. Frank, on the other hand, has no experience, so I can only imagine how awkward it would feel. I would like to kiss him, though. I have wanted to do that since I first saw him, as crazy as it sounds. You know what? I’m gonna do it. I want Frank to have a positive first time kissing someone, and I hope I can do that for him.
“Well...do you want me to give you that experience of being kissed for the first time? I can certainly provide you with that, if you wish,” I said, smirking a bit.
“Yes...I do,” Frank replied happily.
“Okay, then...close your eyes and pucker your lips. I’ll show you what it’s like,”
“Okay,”
Frank shut his eyes and did exactly as I said with his lips, waiting for them to be kissed by mine. I slowly leaned in and cupped Frank’s face with my hand, my lips softly landing on Frank’s. Our lips danced graciously as we kissed again and again, our mouths opening up more and more. I could hear Frank moan under his breath, sending chills down my spine. It only made me kiss him harder, my lips pressing up against his as we kissed again and again. I straddled myself on top of Frank, my body above his as we continued kissing. I ran my hands through his smooth black hair as he did the same with my red hair. We kissed for what seemed like ages, and I loved every second of it. Kissing Frank was like being in a romantic ecstasy. It feels different than kissing Lindsey, and that’s obviously because this time I’m kissing a man, but it feels just as good. This is Frank’s first time kissing anyone, and it seems like he’s putting a lot of passion into it, just like me. Damn, this boy is better at kissing than I thought he would be, being a first-timer and all. We soon parted, looking deep into each other’s eyes. The smile on Frank’s face almost made me melt.
“Wow, that was...incredible,” he exhaled. I smiled back at him, running my thumb across his cheek.
“It sure was, baby,” I whispered. I left a kiss on his cheek, making him giggle a bit. “You like that?” I asked.
“Very much,” Frank said. “I didn’t think it would be that...wow, I can’t even describe it!”
“Well, now you know,” I said, yawning. It was definitely time for me to call it a night. I curled up next to Frank, my body warm and snug next to him.
“Getting sleepy?” he asked.
“Mhmm,” I nodded.
“Okay. Me too, actually,” Frank said, yawning. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into him. “Goodnight, Gee,”
It wasn’t long before I heard Frank snoring. It’s good to know that he’s sleeping with ease and not worrying about this spider man he sees. Just as long as I’m here, he doesn’t have to be afraid. As I’ve said before, someone’s gotta be there for him, and that person is me...and I just kissed him, and he fucking loved it, and so did I.

Notes