Fantastic Bastards in Monroeville (Frerard)

I actually managed to get a decent amount of sleep last night. I dreamt of me and Frank smiling and laughing like we didn’t have a care in the world. We both woke up and took turns showering, then headed to the cafeteria for breakfast. Today it’s french toast and bacon. I really wish I could make Frank proud of me for eating, but I just can’t do it. From what I’ve heard, french toast and bacon is high in fat. I know Lindsey wouldn’t want me to eat any of this. Hopefully at lunch they’ll serve something healthier. If so, maybe I’ll eat a little bit. I am fucking starving, and the only way I can shut up my growling stomach is if I put some food in it.
“The french toast isn’t that bad. You should try some,” Frank said. As I stared at my food, an attendee came up to me and Frank. I read what was on his nametag. His name was Joshua.
“Gerard, can I talk to you in private?” he asked. Ugh. I’d rather not, but I’m not feeling up to causing any problems at the moment. I’m that lazy right now. I turned to Frank, silently telling him I’ll be right back. I walked out of the cafeteria and down the hall with Joshua, wondering what the hell this guy could possibly want this early in the morning. I just wanna go back to the cafeteria and be with Frank, damn it. Whatever this guy wants, it better be quick.
“So, we had a discussion with the dietician. You haven’t eaten much since you’ve been here. If this continues...we’ll have no choice but to force-feed you Ensure,” the attendee warned. That was when my eyes went wide. When did I ever consent to someone force-feeding me? I want to review over my rights. There’s no way they can do this to me! I refuse! “So if I were you, I would start eating. This is your last warning,”
Fuck you. I’m not gonna let you force-feed me. If I don’t wanna eat, then I don’t wanna eat. I shouldn’t eat anyway. Have you seen how much I weigh?
After Joshua was finished giving me the force-feeding warning, I returned to the cafeteria, where Frank was waiting for me. I sighed deeply, going back to staring at the food I so badly don’t wanna eat.
“What did he have to say?” Frank asked. I told him about what Joshua had to say to me, and that made Frank’s jaw hit the floor.
“What? That’s crazy! You really should eat. I don’t wanna see that happen to you,”
I’m really sorry, Frank. I really wish I could eat. I can’t, though. If I eat, I’ll slip up and end up eating too much…
I sighed deeply, putting my face into my hands, wishing I could disappear. It’s not fair. All I wanna do is be skinny. I’ll be fucked if I eat a morsel of food. My stomach is screaming at me, begging me to feed it something. Beside me, Frank put a supporting hand on my back, rubbing it. If only starving yourself weren’t this hard…

_ _ _
After a few group meetings, visiting hours came by. I sat in the day room, watching some cartoon as I waited for my brother to arrive. I wonder if he was gonna come see me today. I have a good feeling that he will. I don’t know where Frank went; he said he had to get ready for his dad to stop by. I really hope he does. It’s really heartbreaking to see no visitors come to see Frank. He deserves someone besides me in his life that gives a shit about him.
I turned around and found Mikey walking towards me. He smiled and waved at me, holding a grocery bag full of stuff.
“Hey, Gee. I brought you some more clothes and a notebook,” he said, pulling out the notebook and handing it to me. I looked at it, then back to Mikey. Since Mikey doesn’t know sign language, he had to buy a notebook for me so that I could communicate with him. What was I gonna say to him? I’m still mad at him for saving me and making me go to this hell hole, but I know I can’t hold a grudge against him forever. He’s my brother, and I love him. Me and Mikey went into the cafeteria and sat down at one of the tables. Mikey grabbed a pen out of his coat pocket and handed it to me.
“Talk to me, Gerard. Please?” he begged, eyes pleading with me. It was at that moment that I knew what I wanted to write down. I was gonna tell him about my new friend Frank. I smiled, writing down just that.

I made a new friend. His name is Frank.

I handed over the notepad to Mikey, a smile still on my face. Mikey read over what I had to say, and smiled back.
“Really? That’s awesome. It’s good to see you smiling again. Where is he?” he asked. I turned around and looked to see if he was anywhere nearby. It was at that moment that I felt my heart drop into my stomach. Frank ran into the room naked, some attendees chasing after him. He looked absolutely horrified, his eyes wide with fear.
“Get away from me! I gotta get away from him!” he screamed. The attendees stood close to him, cautious around him.
“Frank, no one’s out to get you,” one of the attendees said, holding Frank’s clothes in his hand. “It’s okay. Just calm down and put these back on--”
“No! No, I can’t! The spiders laid eggs on them! Don’t you see? The spider man is coming for me!”
I was absolutely devastated. Frank was having one of his episodes, and there’s nothing I can do about it, even though I wished I could. I looked over to Mikey, who looked equally as shocked.
“I need a sedative. Code white!” the attendee yelled. Seconds later, Hayley the nurse ran up to the cafeteria with a syringe in her hand. Frank backed away from her, cornered by the attendees. He backed into a corner, his screams and cries deafening and heartbreaking. Two of the attendees went up to Frank and held him down as Hayley put the tranquilizer into Frank. He kicked and screamed some more before his body soon grew weak and passed out, the attendees taking him away in a wheelchair. I looked back at Mikey, who still had his jaw dropped to the ground.
“Was that him?” he asked. I sadly nodded, looking down at the notebook Mikey gave me. He sighed deeply.
“Gerard...I don’t think you should be around him. He’s clearly not well. You should focus on yourself,” Mikey said.
Are you fucking kidding me? I thought Mikey wanted me to make friends with some of the patients. Now he’s telling me I shouldn’t? Frank is the only other patient in this place I give a rat’s ass about. I shot Mikey a dirty look, so badly wanting to tell a certain two words that are unkind.
“Gerard, he’s sick! Very sick. He’s a distraction from your goal here. You gotta focus on yourself,” Mikey nearly exclaimed. I took the notebook and wrote down what I wanted to say, pressing so hard on the paper with the pen.

NO.

I handed the notepad back to Mikey, letting him read my short message. He sighed deeply, looking up back at me.
“I understand he’s your friend, but...you gotta focus on yourself. Hanging around with his kind is not good for you,”
What the fuck? What the fuck do you mean by “his kind”? Everyone here has got their own problems. I thought you wanted me to socialize with the other patients. Now you want me to cut off Frank? Fuck off. I won’t do that. You can’t make me.
I crossed my arms tightly and looked down, an angered look on my face. I don’t want Mikey here anymore. He really pissed me off. He needs to leave.
“Listen, I gotta get to work,” Mikey said, getting up. “You can be mad at me all you want, but it’s only for the best of you. I’m sorry. Goodbye, Gerard. I’ll talk to you soon,”
Yeah, okay. Bye, asshole.
I watched as Mikey walked out of the cafeteria and down the hall to the door that lets visitors and staff in and out. I picked up the notebook and stormed out of the cafeteria. I walked down to my room until I accidentally bumped into someone. I looked up to see who it was. It was Ray, who shot me an apologetic look.
“You okay, Gerard? Did your visit with your brother go well?” he asked.
What the fuck do you think? It went terrible.
Before I could write anything down, I suddenly thought of something. I wanted to make sure Frank was okay. Maybe he’s back in our room? I hope so. I wrote down in my notebook, asking where Frank was. I handed the notebook to Ray, who read it. He sighed, looking somber.
“He’s in solitary confinement from his little outburst about the spiders. I’m sorry, Gerard,” he said. I felt my chest constrict. Poor Frank is in a padded cell all by himself. I wish I could hold him and tell him he’s safe, that no one was out to get him. That’s what he needs instead of being thrown into a room, all alone and suffering. I snatched my notebook from Ray’s hands and stormed down the hall to my room, slamming the door shut. I landed on my bed, lying there as I felt warm tears come to my eyes. I want Frank to be right here with me. I’m now all alone with my misery. I need to get rid of this feeling. I feel so numb…
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the blade I made out of the pie pan. I knew at that moment what I had to do. I need to bleed. If only Lindsey were here. She’d be happy to see me do this. I brought the blade to the skin on my wrist, carving deep into my skin. It wasn’t long before the crimson blood seeped out of my wound, running down my wrist. I brought the blade away from my arm, watching as the blood continued to run down my skin. It’s such a beautiful sight. I licked it up, the taste of the blood on my tongue. I smiled, the stinging pain of the cut throbbing from my arm--
I jumped to my feet when I heard someone open my door. I hid my blade behind my back, hoping in vain no one sees it. It’s Bob that’s in the doorway, a shit-eating smirk on his face.
“What are you doing?” he sneered. I backed away from him as he came closer to me, my blade still behind my back. Can I ever get a fucking break here? “Whatcha got behind your back?”
“Nothing. Go away,” I spat, venom lacing my voice. Bob jolted towards me and grabbed my arm, revealing my blade from behind my back. “Leave me alone!” I yelled as I tried to fight Bob off. It was too late, though. He knows what I’ve been hiding from everyone. He snatched it out of my hands, examining what I made to hurt myself with.
“Ohhhhh, I’m telling the nurse about this!” Bob sang mockingly. I reached out, trying to reclaim my blade.
“Give it back!” I screamed, tackling Bob to the floor, struggling against him to get my creation I made outta tin foil. I toppled him, throwing punches at him and grabbing his arms to get my blade back. I gave a few good punches before the attendees rushed in and grabbed me, pulling me away from Bob and holding me down.
“What’s going on here?” asked Joey, one of the attendees.
“Look what I found! Gerard used this to be an emo fag and cut himself!” Bob said, holding up my blade for everyone to see.
All eyes went to me, and I had no idea how I was gonna cover my ass. I’ve been caught red-handed. Thanks, Bob.
“Gerard, do you have any way to explain yourself?” Joey asked me. What was I gonna say? That Bob was right? I shook my head, giving Joey a dirty look. Two of the attendees took my arms and pulled me out of the room and down the hall. They stopped me in front of Hayley, who turned to us.
“What happened back there?” she asked.
“Gerard and Bob got into a fight. We found this. Gerard was using it to cut himself,” said Joey, who held up my blade. Hayley’s mouth made an O shape, covering it with her hand as she turned to me.
“Gerard, that’s not right! Where did you cut yourself?” she asked me. I shamelessly held out my arm, revealing my cut to her. She immediately tended to it, dabbing it with a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol. She then put a bandage over it. “You know what this means, right?” she said. I shook my head.
“Because of your little fight with Bob and you cutting yourself, you’ll be put in solitary confinement for a while so you can think about what you’ve done,” Joey said. My eyes widened and my stomach tied itself in knots.
Are you fucking kidding me? It was Bob that started it! He provoked me!
I crossed my arms, giving my best look of disgust on my face as the two attendees guided me down the hallway. They soon stopped in front of a door at the end and punched in a code. The door clicked and opened, and I reluctantly walked in, the door shutting and locking behind me. I sat down in the corner of the small padded room, covering my face with my hands as I sighed deeply. I don’t know how long I’m gonna be here. Maybe it’ll be ten minutes or ten hours. However long it’s going to be, it’s gonna suck.

Notes