Trigger warning


Gerard’s POV

I woke up and saw Frank was still sound asleep softly snoring and someone knocked on the door which made me sigh loudly as I quietly moved from the bed and put some pants on as well as a top and walked to the door.
“Can I help?” I asked and I saw Jamie who looked worried.
“Mam said the pigs are coming over. If Frank has any weed about in the caravan then you need to get it out of there and away from the site.” Jamie said and I frowned at him.
“We literally have no time to explain. I’ll explain later or even better your lazy boyfriend will tell you. But you need to get him up now.” Jamie said and he went to walk off but I stopped him which made him look at me.
“How’s Esme?” I asked and Jamie smiled slightly.
“She’s fine, she had to have surgery at some point in the night on her brain, but she’s resting and she will be okay.” Jamie said and I smiled.
“I’ll go Wake Frank Up.” I said and shut the door and quickly spun round and looked through the whole caravan to find any weed Frank could have hiding around although he never really bothers hiding it but I couldn’t risk it.
“The fuck are you doing?” I heard Frank say sleepily.
“Do you have any weed in the caravan?” I asked as I looked at him.
“Bit early to get stoned, even for you.” Frank said as he walked to the kitchen.
“I need to know Frank.” I said seriously.
“There’s none in the caravan, I have it hidden somewhere else so you don’t have to worry.” Frank said as he frowned at me.
“Baby what’s the matter?” Frank asked.
“The police are coming round to ask about what happened to Esme. Jamie said I needed to get any weed anyway from the site. He said that you would explain why we need to hide it.” I said and Frank sighed.
“So I might of gotten done for dealing a bit of weed, so if I get caught with any on me then my ass is going to jail.” Frank said and I shook my head at him.
“It was like 2 years ago. I was a stupid little drugged up kid with serious problems.” Frank said and I looked at him.
“You promise me there is none in or around the caravan.” I said and Frank walked over to me and caught hold of my hands.
“Baby I promise you I have nothing in the caravan which will get me into trouble.” Frank said.
“I can’t lose you Frank.” I whispered and Frank smiled at me and kissed me which I returned and Frank pulled me into a hug which I returned.
“Your not losing me okay.” Frank said quietly and I nodded.
“We need to get dressed and sort the caravan out.” I said quietly and Frank kissed my forehead and he let me go and I went to tidy the place up and I felt Frank watching me.

“Not That It’s any of my business but what the fuck did you get up too before you got with me?” I asked as I stood up and looked at Frank who chuckled at me.
“I was your stereotypical bad boy.” Frank said.
“You going to explain or am I going to guess, what the fuck am I saying it’s not even any of business what you got up to before you got with me .” I said and turned round and carried of cleaning the caravan.
“Baby if you want to know then I’ll tell you. I have nothing to hide from you.” Frank said and I frowned as I found something between the seats of the sofa we had and stood up and looked at it.
“The fuck is this Frank?” I asked as I turned round and showed Frank the small packet with white powder in it.
“Um.” Frank said and rubbed his hand up and down his neck.
“You fucking told me there was no drugs in here and I might be stupid sometimes but I know my fucking drugs and this is fucking cocaine. You only told me you did weed so what the fuck is this doing in the caravan.” I said loudly.
“Gee calm down.” Frank said and I laughed sarcastically.
“Calm down? You want me to fucking calm down when I have found this shit in our home!” I said and threw the packet at Frank and he picked it up and looked at it.
“Gee I honestly forgot I had this, Yeah I did do some coke but I don’t anymore. Fuck I hardly smoke weed anymore.” Frank said.
“And I’m meant to believe that?” I spat without thinking.
“Look I’m not some fucking crack head, hell I bet you was even more of a crack head than me.” Frank said and I looked at him.
“You think I haven’t seen the needle scars you have on your arms? You was on the hard stuff and I bet you fucking loved how it made you feel. Hell I bet you teased Eric when you was on that stuff and he gave you what you deserved.” Frank spat and all the come backs had left me.
“The fuck did you just say?” I asked quietly and way too calmly.
“I bet deep down you fucking loved what Eric did to you.” Frank said and I walked over to him and slapped him hard round the face.
“So you think I enjoyed Eric injecting me with drugs. You think I enjoyed being tided to the bed and having him force himself inside of me every fucking day and he just raped me over and over again. Do you really think I fucking loved that because I didn’t! I would cry myself to fucking sleep every single night! I wanted to die so fucking badly every night but for some fucking reason I kept on living.” I shouted in Frank’s face.
Frank didn’t say anything so I just scoffed as I rolled my eyes and walked past him and Frank caught hold of my arm.
“Get the fuck off me.” I growled and Frank let go of my hand.
I walked into our room where everything just hit me and before I could stop myself I just broke down and I quickly got dressed and walked back out to the sitting room.
“Gee where you going.” Frank said.
“It doesn’t concern you.” I sobbed as I got to the door.
“Baby It does, you’re going nowhere when you’re crying.” Frank said softly.
“Don’t call me baby, i am going out and you are not stopping me.” I said seriously and opened the door.
“Gee don’t do this please.” Frank said after me but I kept on walking.
“Gerard come back please! I didn’t mean it come back!” Frank said after me put I put my hood up and just ignored him and headed to where I could get what I needed and hoped that nobody would stop me for what I had planned.

I was walking around in a really big drug haze not having a clue on what I was doing when I felt someone caught hold of my arm.
“Let me go.” I said but I guess it came out in a slurred mess.
“What the fuck have you taken?” The person said and I thought about it but couldn’t even remember what I had taken.
I heard a phone go off but it sounded miles away.
“I’ve found him Frank. He has taken something but I don’t know what but he’s fucking out of it.” The person said.
“ ‘M fine.” I mumbled.
“Your not Fine Gee, sit down before you pass out.” The person said and I shook my head as I walked off.
“Gee Come here buddy.” The person said and I shook my head and I tripped over something and fell over and that’s where I stayed.
“Can you back up please, I have help coming and he can not cope with people he doesn’t know.” The person said and they sat next to me.
Another person said something but I couldn’t hear them.
“I am a friend of his and he is also my brothers boyfriend so I know him. Please can you just back up.” The person said and I felt my eyes getting heavy.
“Shit, Gee open your eyes for me. You have to stay awake buddy.” The person said and I fought to open my eyes.
“He doesn’t love me, I’m better gone.” I mumbled and the person tapped my face.
“That’s bullshit Gee and you know it. Frank loves you too bits and he is fucking worried about you. You have to keep on fighting a little longer.” The person said.
“How long are they going to be he’s literally losing his fight right now. Please tell them Too hurry.” The person said and I heard someone running over.
“Baby, baby open your eyes for me please.” A new voice said and it sounded like they was crying.
“Frank he’s literally losing the battle to stay alive right now.” The voice from before said and I felt someone mess with my hair and kissed the top of my head.
“No, no, no he can’t. God damnit Gerard fucking open your eyes, let me see your beautiful eyes.” The new voice said but I couldn’t open my eyes.
“This is all my fucking fault.” The new voice sobbed.

“No it’s not.” The first voice said and I just couldn’t keep myself mentally awake any long and I just let everything around go silent.

Notes

Oh dear