Gerard’s POV

I woke up on my back to Frank cuddled into my side with his arm over my chest and his leg over mine.
I moved so I was on my side and Frank sighed loudly and his eyes fluttered open and he smiled when he saw me and he lifted his arm up which made me smile and shuffle towards him and cuddled into his chest and Frank put his arm round me and kissed the end of my nose.
”How you feeling this morning?” Frank asked quietly as he shut his eyes again but I knew he was listening to what I was saying.
”Still feel really tired and my ass hurts a bit as well.” I said quietly.
”You want me to go and get you some painkillers?” Frank asked sleepily.
”No, I’ll be fine go back to sleep.” I said quietly and Frank smiled slightly and he got comfy.
”You going to go back to sleep?” Frank mumbled as I got myself comfy.
”Yeah, I’m going to sleep.” I muttered and lost my fight to keep my eyes open and fell asleep.

When I woke up next Frank wasn’t in bed and I could smell coffee and something being cooked which made me frown as I sat up.
“Morning babe.” Frank said happily as he walked in the room in his pants with 2 big mugs of coffee.
“Morning.” I said and watched Frank put the mugs down on the bedside table by my side of the bed and him walking out the room and I could sense today was going to be one of those lazy days where me and Frank would do as little as possible maybe with some sex somewhere along the line.
I put Netflix on just as Frank walked in with food.
“Why have you done this?” I asked as I took a plate from Frank and my mouth just watered at the sight of this bacon sandwich in front of me.
“Because I wanted to and I thought you must be hungry after last night.” Frank said as he climbed back under the covers.
“I am a bit hungry but you didn’t have to cook me breakfast in bed.” I said and watched Frank take a big mouthful of his food as I took a small bite out of my and moaned because it’s been ages since I had a bacon sandwich.
“Well you was flat out asleep still and I was bored and hungry so I thought that you might wake up if you smelt food being cooked. Which you did.” Frank said with his mouthful.
“I woke up because I wanted to have cuddles but you weren’t in bed and then I smelt the food.” I said and Frank chuckled.
“Well you can have unlimited cuddles today, that’s a promise.” Frank said.
“And sex.” I mumbled as I took another bite of my food.
“And that if you want it, but I want to talk to you about last night.” Frank said and I looked at him confused.
“What did I do?” I asked quietly.
“It’s nothing bad, it was just the way you acted and it had me worried.” Frank said and I looked down and nodded.
“Can we talk about it now or later on?” Frank asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Can talk about it now and get it over and done with.” I mumbled.
“Okay, let’s finish this and we can talk then in you like.” Frank said and I nodded.

We had our food and I was cuddled into Frank’s side and I think he was waiting for me to speak but I wanted him to ask me the questions.
“What was you to Eric?” Frank asked as a moment of silence.
“What the first time or the second time?” I asked.
“Both. If you want to tell me that is.” Frank said and I smiled as I started to trace my finger over Frank’s tattoos.
“I was his boyfriend the first time but I was more like a submissive towards the end and then the second time I was his sex slave and his punch bag.” I said quietly.
“Did you like that lifestyle?” Frank asked and I looked at him.
“Being a sub yeah I liked it but Eric was a horrible person to be a sub to. As for the slave fuck no, I was nothing in Eric’s eyes just something he could do anything to and I had to do what he said otherwise he would lose it.” I said and Frank frowned.
“I’m guessing your next question is probably going to be if I want to do that lifestyle again. I’m answer to it would probably be yes. I miss knowing where I stand and that if I argued back then I would get punished for it. But right now I’m mentally not able to do that lifestyle.” I said and moved and sat on Frank.
“You called me Sir last night and you automatically went completely blank and only did exactly what I told you with no questions asked and you would of allowed me to hurt you.” Frank said and he rolled us over so I was under him.
“Your mood was shifting so much that I couldn’t tell if you was kind caring Frank or wether you was a different Frank. I did want came natural to me and went into that mind set where I knew I would be safe.” I said and Frank sat on me and pulled the covers round us since I was still naked.
“Baby I’m sorry.” Frank said quietly and I smiled at him and rested my hand on his cheek which made Frank look at me.
“It’s fine. It’s my way of defending myself. I do it a lot round the place but I’m getting out of it slowly but the sex side of it is a struggle.” I said and Frank smiled.
“So What did you like before stuff happened?” Frank asked.
“A lot of stuff. Minus choking but when I was slave I had no choice. For me I found it as a learning curve to see what I liked and didn’t like. But like I said Eric wasn’t the best person to be a sub too.” I said and Frank nodded looking like he was thinking.
“I don’t want this relationship to be like that, I love what we have and I love and trust you. I don’t want to fuck it all up and end up with nothing.” I said and Frank smiled.
“Oh don’t tell me you are one of these people with a daddy kink or something if so then I’m gone.” I said and Frank laughed.
“You’re safe that sort of freaks me out when people call other people daddy.” Frank said and I smiled and pulled Frank’s head down and kissed him which Frank returned.
“You know this relationship works both ways, it’s not all just about me because of my PTSD. You can talk to me.” I said and Frank kissed me again.
“I know, but you keep my mind busy so I’m in a good place right now.” Frank said.
“Hope it’s all good.” I said and Frank moved to my collarbones where he worked on giving me hickies.
“With a hint of bad, but that’s seeing you completely naked.” Frank said and smirked at me.
“That image stays in your head and never to be spoken about.” I said and Frank chuckled and moved back up and kissed me.
Frank moved and I pouted as I rolled over and cuddled back into Frank side.
“Asshole.” I muttered as I felt really tired all of a sudden.
“I happen to like fucking your asshole.” Frank said and I playfully bit his side which made Frank move away from me.
“Don’t do that.” Frank chuckled and he moved back where I got comfy again.
“I’m gonna take a nap.” I said and Frank shook his head at me.
“Swear you would sleep your life away if you could.” Frank said.
“I like my sleep.” I mumbled.
“I know you do.” Frank said and I heard him put a film on which I refused to watch with him so he would watch those films when I was asleep.
“Love you.” I muttered as I fell asleep.
“Love you too Gee.” I just about heard Frank say.

My eyes flew open and I sat up panting for breath and I felt myself cry.
“Baby, you okay?” I heard Frank asked.
“He had his hands round my neck and he was choking me and I couldn’t move.” I said quickly and felt round my neck.
Frank sat up and he moved and sat in front of me.
“You’ve had a nightmare haven’t you?” Frank asked softly and I nodded and wrapped my arms around my knees and began to rock myself back and forth.
“Baby Talk to me.” Frank said softly.
“He keeps on hurting me.” I sobbed and Frank shuffled forward and pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head.
“He haunts me at night and when I sleep.” I sobbed into Frank’s neck as I cried.
“I know he does baby. But just remember that I’m always here at the end of everything I’m always here.” Frank said and he kissed the side of my head and pulled me onto his lap and he me close to him as I carried on crying into his neck.
“Shell we have a shower after you’ve calmed down?” Frank asked and I nodded into Frank’s neck and I pulled back and looked down as Frank made me look at him.
“Such a beautiful face shouldn’t be so tear stained.” Frank said softly as he gently wiped my face with his thumb.
I sniffed and moved my eye away from Frank’s eye.
“I love you with all my heart Gee. It hurts so much to see you like this makes me feel bad because I cant do nothing to make you feel better.” Frank said and I looked at him and Frank linked his hand with mine.
“Just wish that I found you before he did. So then you didn’t have to go through all that shit he put you through.” Frank said quietly as he gently ran his finger over my neck scar.
“But I didn’t find you first but now I have found you and I have the challenge to put you back together and show you I’m not like him.” Frank said and he looked at me.
“If I could take all this away and have it myself then I would, I would do anything to take all this away.” Frank said and kissed me and rested his head on my forehead.

We sat in silence for a while before Frank spoke again.
“Shell we go and have a shower?” Frank asked and I nodded and I went to move but Frank held me closer to him and he shuffled forward and he stood up and carried me to the bathroom where he sat me down on the closed toilet and he started up the shower and waited for it to warm up.
My eyes stayed fixed to the floor still not feeling completely back to reality yet.
Frank knelt down in front of me and I looked at him.
“You okay?” Frank asked softly and I nodded.
“Just need to try and get myself grounded and back to reality.” I said quietly and Frank smiled as he stood up kissing the top of my head and went to check the shower and I guessed it was okay as frank offered me his hand which made me flinch slightly and I hoped Frank didn’t notice, but he did.
“I’m sorry.” I said quickly and went to stand up and walk off but Frank caught hold of my hand which made me look at him.
“My hands are never going to slap or punch you and my feet will never kick you. I would never dream on hurting you.” Frank said softly.
“He said that and he did. He hurt me and I have the scars on my body and in my head that’s proof of what he did to me.” I said breaking down and Frank pulled me into his body and he held me close to him as I cried on him again.
“Baby I’m not him. I would never dream of hurting you or putting a mark on your body.” Frank said and I pulled back and looked at him.
“Hickies don’t count do they?” I sniffed and Frank chuckled.
“Nope, that’s to let everybody know that you are happily taken with me and we have some amazing sex.” Frank said and I smiled and sniffed loudly.

“The water is getting cold.” Frank said quietly and I allowed him to take me to the shower where we washed each other and Frank saying sweet nothings.

Notes

Don’t really like this chapter