Bulletproof Heart

Frank’s POV

It has been a week since the bastard got sentenced for what he had done to Gerard and that he wasn’t going to be getting for 30 years at least before he could ask to get out of prison.
Gerard was somewhat settling in to my lifestyle but he was still really quiet which was starting to worry me.

”Hey babe, I was wondering if you wanted to have a meal with everyone tonight?” I said as I sat next to Gerard who was drawing.
”Sounds good to me.” Gerard said quietly.
”Babe talk to me please, I’m getting worried.” I said softly.
”What’s there to say? Nothing Frank there is nothing to bloody say part from stop badgering me to fucking talk because I don’t want to fucking talk right now.” Gerard spat.
”Well there’s a lot to talk about.” I said.
”What like even though the bastard is locked away but I still don’t feel safe. My mother decided to just abandon me to stay with dad and Mikey when she knows what I’m like after court.” Gerard said quickly.
”You just need to let yourself go and start to relax. I know right now it is hard for you to do that but just have a couple of joints to chill you out a bit. As for your mam, yeah I like the woman, but her staying like she did after knowing what you would be like this is a bit of a dick move.” I said and Gerard sighed and moved and rested his head on my shoulder.
”She was my rock and now I feel like I have nothing that can keep me ground. I know your trying and you are slowly becoming someone who can ground me.” Gerard said quietly.
”I’m glad that I’m able to ground you to a degree.” I said and kissed the side of his head.
“It’s getting more and more each day but I feel like I’m pushing you away as I’m being so snappy towards and arguing with you all the time. Literally have no control of myself right now.” Gerard said and I linked my hand with his.
”Just remember I’m not going anywhere. You can’t help it and I can understand why you are like it after everything you have been through. Just take your medication and it’ll help you until you don’t need it.” I said softly and Gerard sighed loudly as he looked at his drawing he was doing.
”What you drawing then?” I asked since I knew I was a way to get Gerard talking.
”You when your asleep, I dunno it’s kinda stupid but it’s something to do when I can’t sleep.” Gerard said quietly as he looked away from the drawing.
“It’s crap isn’t it.” Gerard said quietly as I moved his arm and looked at it.
”No it isn’t, it’s really good. Love the detail you put into your work and you do it without any effort and there’s me struggling to draw a basic stickman.” I said and Gerard chuckled and a small smile came onto his face which made me smile.
”Go and make yourself look pretty as your hair needs a wash and you are starting to smell, not pleasant when I want to cuddle you at night.” I said and messed with Gerard’s messy hair.
“I don’t trust myself to not hurt myself.” Gerard whispered and looked at his hands where they was starting to scab over from where he scratched them badly the other day.
”Well if you want I can have a shower with you and help you, but only if you are comfortable with that, if not then I’ll just sit in the room with you and not look.” I said and Gerard looked at me.
”Shower with me.” Gerard said really quietly and I smiled and kissed the end of his nose.
I got hold of Gerard’s art book and gently pulled it away off his lap and put it of the side where I stood up and Gerard looked at me.
I offered Gerard my hand which he took and I helped his up and I wrapped my hand round his hips and rested my hands on his bum which made Gerard smile shyly at me.
“Let’s go.” I said quietly and I kissed him which Gerard returned and I caught hold of his hand and we walked to the bedroom since the bathroom wasn’t really that big considering we was in the caravan.

I stood in front of Gerard and moved closer where I was invading Gerard’s space which at the moment he didn’t like but he seemed to allow me to be in his personal space.
I caught hold of the bottom of his top and looked at Gerard for permission and Gerard nodded and I gently started to pull his top up and when I got the top to his head I left it covering his face and his arms above his head and I stood back and looked at his body, yeah he was covered in scars but he was still beautiful to me.
“What you doing?” Gerard asked But was muffled by his top over his face.
”Looking at how gorgeous you are.” I said quietly and I kissed the end of his nose through the top.
”No I’m not.” Gerard said quietly and I reached out and gently kissed one of the scars which made Gerard move away slightly.
I pulled the top off Gerard and he looked down.
”Can I touch them?” I asked quietly and Gerard looked at me.
”I don’t know.” Gerard whispered I reached out and touched one of his arm scars.
”It’s not that bad is it?” I whispered and Gerard shook his head.
”May I touch your chest?” I asked and Gerard thought about it but he nodded slightly.
I smiled and reached my hand out and gently put it on his chest and I looked at Gerard who looked like he was in pain.
”I’ll never hurt you.“ I said and I made Gerard looked at me.
”You’re so beautiful.” I whispered and Gerard looked down but I put a finger under his chin and kept him looking at me.
”Let go and have a shower.” I said quietly and Gerard nodded.
”But I need to get my trousers off and get you undressed.” Gerard said shyly.
”Well I can do the trousers and pants. As for me I need some help.” I said and gently pulled Gerard towards me using the waistband to pull him towards me and Gerard giggled and put his hand on my shoulders and kissed me.

”You gave me a fucking hickie?” Gerard asked before we walked in the house.
”I didn’t mean too.” I said as I opened the door and walked in with Gerard following.
”Hey Frank, hey Gerard.” Esme said as she carried Vic.
“Hey Esme.” I said and looked at Gerard who had his hood up on his hoodie and was looking down avoiding anyone to look at his face since like his hands he has scratched his face badly.
”You Okay Gerard?” Esme asked and Gerard nodded.
”He’s just nervous and shy.” I said and Esme chuckled.
”And how the hell did he end up with you as a boyfriend since your such a loud mouth and like being the center of attention.” Esme said.
”Fuck off.” I said and Esme glared at me.
”Young ears are around.” Esme said and I rolled my eyes and caught hold of Gerard’s hand and we walked to the kitchen where pa was.
”Frank me boy how are you? Who is this?” Pa said as he looked at Gerard.
”I’m good thanks pa, This is Gerard, my boyfriend.” I said and squeezed Gerard hand which he returned slightly which made me smile.
”This Your gorger friend you was showing a interest in and went off the over side of the country with?” Pa said and I looked at Gerard and then to pa,
”Yeah. He’s sort of joining the family as well since his Ma decided to stay on the other side to be with her other son and husband.” I said and pa nodded slightly and looked at Gerard.
”You can take your hood down kid.” Pa said and Gerard looked at me.
“It’ll be fine, nobody will judge or hurt you. If anything only questions.” I said and pulled Gerard to my side and held him close to me.
Gerard sighed and took his hood down but kept his eyes on the floor, I looked at pa who was staring at Gerard until I cleared my throat when pa looked at me.
”Your Mama has gone to the pizza shops to get us dinner, we was going to go and have a movie night in the sitting room, if you two wanted to join us all.” Pa said and I looked at Gerard who nodded.
”Go and find yourself a seat then, Mama will be back in 5 with the food.” Pa said and I guided Gerard to the sitting room.

I sat in the chair and gently pulled Gerard onto my lap where I kissed him which Gerard returned.
“You okay?” I asked quietly and Gerard nodded.
“Yeah, just don’t understand you dad that well.” Gerard said and I chuckled.
”Got to love his Irish accent, even though he’s lived in America all his life but hasn’t picked the accent up.” I said and Gerard smiled.
I felt someone try to climb on my lap and I looked at saw Vic trying to join me and me and Gerard.
”What do you want trouble?” I asked as I helped Vic the best I could and he sat on Gerard and looked at him trying to work out what was on Gerard’s face and hands.
”He looks funny.” Vic said and I looked at Gerard who looked hurt but at the same time he knew Vic was only young and doesn’t understand.
”Don’t be rude Victor.” I said and Vic looked at me.
”Why does he look like that?” Vic asked and I sighed and looked at Gerard silently apologizing and Gerard smile as if he was saying it wasn’t okay.
”Gerard has some horrible voices in his head which tells him to hurt himself.” I said the best I could so Vic could understand.
“The voices aren’t being nice to Gerard at the moment.” I whispered in Vic ear and he looked at me and then to Gerard and Vic moved and cuddled into Gerard’s chest which confused Gerard a little before he returned Vic’s cuddle.
”Hey you turn coat where’s my cuddles.” Jamie said as he walked in the room with his girlfriend and they made themselves comfy on one of the sofas.
Vic got down from me and Gerard and he went over to Jamie who had his arms open for Vic to run and jump into like he always does.
”You Okay?” I asked and Gerard nodded.
”Yeah, I’m okay thanks.” Gerard said quietly and he got himself comfy just as everyone else came in the room and battled out who was going to sit where and mam came over and put mine and Gerard’s pizza on Gerard’s lap and I smile a thanks to her.

We was one the 4th movie of the night and Noah and Vic was out for the count and I looked at Gerard and he looked like he was losing the battle to keep his eyes open but he was forcing himself to stay awake since he was having bad nightmares at the moment.
”You want to call it a night?” I asked quietly and Gerard nodded.
I looked round and saw that Jamie and his girlfriend had fallen asleep and that Esme and Freddie where also asleep and mam and pa was still awake.
”Can you stand up for me?” I whispered and Gerard nodded as he stood up and I kept a hand on his back since he looked like he had no energy in him to stand so I stood up and picked him up which made mam look at me and smile.
”You calling it a night?” Mam whispered as she stood up with Noah in her arms and pa stood up as well with Vic in his arms.
”Yeah, I’m sorry if you’ve been woken up by Gerard screaming. He has PTSD and he is really struggling right now hence why his face and hands are scratched to shit.” I said as I looked at Gerard who had just lost his battle and had fallen asleep.
”We’ve heard him but it doesn’t bother us in the slightest. He can’t help what’s wrong with him and I’m so proud of you frank for being there for him when nobody else wants to be there for him.” Mam said and I smiled at her a little.
”I’ll see you later.” I said as I saw myself out and went to the caravan and went to mine and Gerard’s room where I gently put Gerard on the bed.

“Frankie?” Gerard whispered as I got myself undressed and I turned round and smiled at Gerard who was sitting up but he gave up and flopped back onto the bed which made me chuckle as I walk over to the bed in just my pants and sat beside Gerard.
”I’m here Gee.” I said quietly and Gerard smiled slightly.
”Cuddle me.” Gerard mumbled.
”Do you want to get out of your clothes first otherwise you’ll over heat and then you’ll be moaning at me.” I said and Gerard sighed loudly.
I moved and sat between Gerard’s legs and to hold of Gerard’s trousers.
”Lift your hips up babe so I can take you trousers off.” I said and Gerard hugged as I took his trousers off along with his socks and I looked up and Gerard and completely lost his battle and was flat out asleep which made me smile.
I climbed over Gerard and turned the tv on as I got into bed and cuddled into Gerard’s back and just hoped that tonight he wasn’t going to have a nightmare.

Notes

This chapter is crap and like 2 days late but I am absolutely exhausted from work after working 15 days with a mixture of nights and days and to top things off my mental health is literally at rock bottom and I’m really struggling with everything at the moment..

So you might have to bare with the really slow updates and the chapter being really shit as well.