Bulletproof Heart

Gerard’s POV

I woke up and saw that Frank was sound asleep on his back with his arm around the back of his head. I cuddled more into his side who woke up.
”Go back to sleep, you look like shit.” I said quietly and Frank chuckled quietly as he rolled onto his side with a big sigh.
”And I love you too.” Frank muttered and I smiled and kissed the end of his nose.
“Did you stay up all night?” I asked quietly and Frank nodded.
”Yeah it was to make sure you didn’t have any nightmares but your twitching kept me up.” Frank said sleepily with his eyes still closed.
”I’m sorry.” I said with a slight giggle.
”Damn that sound is cute.” Frank muttered and I smiled and moved Franks arm so it was over my neck as I moved closer to him and Frank smiled.
”Who knew you was this cuddly in the mornings. Normally you tell me to fuck off when I try and do this to you.” Frank said.
” But I like cuddles though.” I pouted and Frank chuckled.
”Don’t I know about it.” Frank said and kissed my forehead.
”Am I in court today?” I asked.
”Not today I don’t think, I haven’t heard from your mam so I’m guessing you’re not in.” Frank said and I nodded.
”But we do need to talk about what happened.” Frank said and I sighed.
”I fucked up.” I said quietly.
”Yeah you did a little.” Frank whispered.
”I’m sorry.” I muttered.
”It’s fine okay.” Frank said quietly.
A nurse showed up and didn’t look very pleased but she didn’t say anything.

”So now we are free, what do you want to do?” Frank asked as we walked down the street hand in hand but I had my hood up on my jacket so nobody looked at me.
”Coffee?” I asked and looked at Frank who smiled at me.
”Coffee sounds good, you want it as a takeaway and we go somewhere and talk about last night.” Frank said and I nodded.
”Yeah.” I said quietly and we found a coffee shop and got our coffe and I took us to the park which I spent a lot of time in.
“So tell me what happened last night.” Frank said as he sipped on his coffee and looked at me.
”After saying what I said to you I thought I had fucked us up and I couldn’t live without knowing I wouldn’t have you beside me and supporting me so I thought I would be better off dead in everyone eyes as I literally only have you and mum but even mum is leaving me. I managed to get into contact with the person I got my alcohol and drugs from before I moved and that’s how I got the vodka and weed and then I went to a shop and got myself razor blades and then I went to the cemetery and went to talk to my grandmother wishing she was still here to give me advice and to meet you.” I said as I looked down.
”Well you haven’t fucked us up. But what you did do is nearly give me a heart attack. I thought you was fucking dead Gee.” Frank said and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
”Hey, don’t shut me out okay. That’s one thing I don’t want you do to is think that I don’t want to listen to your problems because I do. I want you to talk to me and not to be afraid to come and talk to me.” Frank said as he pulled me onto his lap and held me close to him.
“Your brother came to see you yesterday.” Frank said and I looked at him where frank put his hand on my face and wiped some of the tears away.
”He wouldn’t do that.” I said quietly.
”He did, he also brought his boyfriend with him but we don’t see eye to eye.” Frank said and I chuckled quietly and moved my face more into Franks hand.
”How can nobody see eye to eye with you, you’re adorable.” I said and Frank smiled and kissed me which I returned.
”I can be a bit of a cunt when I need to be, yesterday was a stressful day for both of us and he caught me in a bad mood.” Frank said and I smiled at him and kissed him again.
”Well I don’t care, you can be a cunt to everyone if you want but you’ll still be adorable to me.” I said and I saw a small blush on Franks cheeks and I moved more into his chest being careful of not spilling my coffee on Frank.
“Aw Frankie’s blushing.” I said and Frank chuckled.
”Fuck off.” Frank said playfully.
”As long as I’m the only who can see you blush I don’t care.” I said and kissed him again.
“I never thought that one person could mean so much to me but you do. You mean the absolute world to me and I don’t know what I would be if I didn’t have you.” I said quietly and ran my finger over Franks neck tattoo.
”Feel exactly the same Gee. Feel like I’ve found my soulmate.” Frank said and I looked at him and smiled widely at him as I gently grabbed hold of his face and kissed him hard.
”I’m not ready for sex yet..” I started to say as I pulled away and Frank just pulled my head back towards his and kissed me.
”I don’t care, I can always get myself off if I need to. We’ll take this at your own pace.” Frank said quietly and I smiled at him.
”Such a charmer with words.” I said quietly and Frank chuckled.
”I’ve finished my coffee, I dunno about you.” Frank said and I downed the rest of my coffee and looked at Frank who smiled at me.
”I’m ready whenever you are.” I said and got off Franks lap and stood up and looked at Frank who was just looking at me.
”What? Have I got coffee round my mouth?” I asked as I wipe my mouth self consciously and Frank chuckled as he stood up and pulled me close to him.
”You don’t have coffee round your mouth. I just can’t stop looking at this gorgeous boy in front of me.” Frank said and I looked down with a blush on my cheeks.
”Stop looking down, I need to see those beautiful eyes.” Frank said.
”Stop saying nice things, you fucking softie.” I said and pushed his chest playfully.
”Only for you baby.” Frank said and kissed me and I caught hold of his hand and we went for a walk.

“I see what you mean when you say you and Mikey don’t look alike.” Frank said as he walked from to the bathroom over to the bed.
I looked up and couldn’t help but smile and just stare at Frank.
”Find something you like?” Frank asked and I smirked at him.
”There might be something I like.” I said shyly as I looked down at the picture I was drawing, feeling uncomfortable which Frank picked up on it and he walked over to the bed and sat down.
”Christ what the fuck do you see in me? I am a fucking mess of a person, I can’t give you sex, I probably annoying the fuck out of you. I can’t do nothing right and I’m just shit at everything.” I rambled and Frank chuckled and reached over and kissed me.
”You finished?” Frank asked softly.
”I’m not even beautiful, I’m covered in scars which keep on reminding me of the past. Just don’t see what you can see in me.” I said quickly and Frank took my art book from my hands and put it on the bed side table and put his attention back on me.
”I see a gorgeous person in front of me. Yeah you’re mess but everyone is a mess to a degree. There’s more to a relationship then sex. If I wanted sex from you I would of had sex with you. You don’t annoy me in slightist. Baby your not shit at all, your art work is amazing and I can’t get over the detail you put into your art.” Frank said quietly.
”My art is shit.” I said quietly.
”Seriously? Baby that isn’t true, I’ve seen the drawing you’ve done on my tattoos and the detail you put into them is amazing. Don’t say your art work is shit because it isn’t.” Frank said.
“I love you Gee.” Frank said as he kissed me again.
“I love you too.” I whispered and Frank smiled and he got off the bed and dropped the towel from his waist and he looked over at me and I looked down.
I heard frank walk over and the bed dipping beside me and frank made me look at him.
”You can look, I don’t care. But for your eyes only though, not to be drawn.” Frank said and I smiled and nodded.
”Okay.” I whispered and Frank smiled and got off the bed and I watched him put his pants on.
Frank turned round and he dried his hair and he walked back over to the bed and sat on it.

”What’s Mikey’s boyfriend like?” I asked as I moved to Franks side.
”Well he’s a grade A asshole.” Frank said and I chuckled.
”But is Mikey happy with him?” I asked and Frank smiled and looked at me.
”Yeah, he seems to be really happy with him.” Frank said and I smiled.
”I miss him Frankie.” I whispered and frank kissed the top of my head.
”I know you do and Mikey is the same. Why don’t we meet up with him and this Brendon dude and catch up and have a coffee?” Frank said and I sighed and looked down.
”I’m in court all the rest of this week.” I said quietly.
”I know you do, but you have to fix things with Mike’s as he misses you as well.” Frank said and I looked at him with a frown.
”Don’t worry about it. But his boyfriend was about a inch on getting punched though. Little prick bet he has a small dick that’s why he’s a asshole.” Frank said and I laughed.
”And he can say the same about you.” I said.
”Hey, some small guys have bigger dicks.” Frank said.
”That’s like saying black guys have big dicks.” I said and Frank looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
”Clearly you haven’t fucked a black dude.” Frank said and I scoffed.
”And you have?” I asked and moved so my legs was resting on Franks stomach.
”Biggest dick I had for a while that’s all I’m saying.” Frank said and I couldn’t help but laugh.
”So who’s the better fuck then. The white guys or the black guy?” I asked and Frank chuckled.
”Until I get to pop your cherry the black guy is the best fuck.” Frank said.
”For your information I have had sex, but it was never consensual. So my cheery has been popped thanks.” I said and Frank chuckled.
”Yeah but I get to do it the right way though.” Frank said and I looked at him.
”Can’t believe we just had that conversation.” I chuckled.
”Well we did.” Frank yawned.
I moved and Frank rolled onto his side and looked at me.
”You not joining?” Frank asked and I smiled.
”Yeah, find a film before I get back into bed.” I said and I got off the bed and took my hoodie off and my top off along with my jeans and socks leaving me in my pants.
I turned round and saw Frank eyeballing me.
”Ta-da.” I said and Frank chuckled.
”Beautiful sight to see.” Frank said and Frank lent over the bed and he caught hold my hand and pulled me onto the bed where I landed on him.
”I’m sorry.” I said and Frank smiled.
”It’s fine. Let’s watch a film.” Frank said and allowed me to get comfy and he started to mess with my hair as I traced patterns over his tattoos.
It wasn’t long before Frank had fallen asleep and I pulled the covers over us and I got comfy and watched a film until I fell asleep.

Notes