G
I slipped my boxers off and stepped in front of the mirror, trying not to tremble. I knew what should be there and what shouldn't be. The scars on my chest, curving under my nipples, were wrong. My crotch was wrong. I rubbed a finger over the testosterone patch on my arm. Standing like this, I looked more or less like a trans man. I ran a hand through my hair, pulling it away from my face, my round, feminine face. I liked myself the way I was, objectively. But now, running my eyes over my body with Frank in mind, I started to feel itchy.
Someone knocked at the door.
“Just a sec!”
I grabbed my boxers and slipped them on quickly, then my pajama trousers. I opened the door and Dad smiled at me. “Hey Gerard. Your Mum said you might like to have a talk. Are you alright?”
I frowned and nodded. “Yeah, I'm fine..”
“May I come in?”
I nodded again, stepping back to let him in. He sat down on the edge of my bed, watching me as I pulled a shirt on.
“She said you like this boy...is it Frank?”
I tied my hair up quickly, shrugging. “I guess. He's easy to talk to, he's cute. But his...parent is scary.”
Dad grinned. “Mum told me. Said he seemed nice enough.”
I smiled and sat down next to him. “It was a joke, Dad.”
He sighed and looked at me, studying my face worriedly. “Do you want to go back to your counselor, Gerard?”
I blinked and frowned. “Uh. No, I'm okay, Dad. Really.”
“Mum and I are worried about you,” he said bluntly, rubbing my shoulder slowly. “Figuring out your sexuality...the way you are...it's not easy. And we just don't want you to get hurt.”
I smiled slightly. “I know. I just want to be friends with him, he's just...I feel like I can tell him things and he’ll understand. And not judge.”
“You have other friends like that.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Dad, you know that none of my other friends know about my sex. I don't want to tell any of them. But Frank...I feel like I could. Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but one day. One day soon.”
Dad stroked my hair slowly. “You really do pick ‘em, Gerard.”
I giggled and shook my head slightly. “I think Frank picked me, Dad.”


I rolled over in bed, trying to get the images of Frank's smile out of my head. I couldn't sleep, too busy replaying our conversation and thinking about tomorrow. He'd started to open up to me and I knew I needed to take the lead. The more I told him, the more he'd offer me. But I couldn't tell him the big one yet.
I stared at my ceiling for a while, fiddling with my fingers. What does Gerard Way want?
I bit my lip, hugging myself. I wanted Frank. I wanted to watch him smile and laugh, and I wanted to look at nothing but his big green eyes all day. Green was quickly becoming my favorite color. But why? Not just because he was a pretty face, that was certain. There was something fascinating about Frank, with his tendency to violence, but his kind, open-minded nature. It didn't seem like a combination that would work in a person, but for me, it added to the attractiveness of Frank. I liked people with a little more to offer. I sat up and flicked the light on, dragging the big bag out from under my bed. I unzipped it, pulling out my camera and checking it over. I picked a lens and tucked it all into a smaller bag, then put both under the bed and turned the lights out again. I’d be ready to see Frank.

I rolled over and he was there, sleeping soundly, his face peaceful. I stroked his hair slowly, running my fingers through the soft black strands. He didn't wake, but smiled in his sleep. I watched him for a while longer, his peace disintegrating as his brow furrowed and he whimpered. I tried to pull him close to me, but he screamed, scrambling out of bed and hitting the floor. His green eyes stared up at me, swimming with tears.

I woke up to my alarm and sighed, hurrying into the bathroom and turning the tap on in the shower. I undressed and got under the spray, sighing happily as it flowed over my back. I bit my lip as I ran my hand down over my stomach and a little further, brushing my fingers over myself. I let my eyes slip closed and bit down harder on my lip for a few seconds. Then I shook myself and sighed, finishing washing my hair. I brushed my teeth and walked back to my bedroom to dry my hair, then rummaged through my closet. I found my deep green dress, with ruffled hems and buttons down the center. I grinned and slipped it on, then tugged on a pair of boxer briefs and my cat tights. I jogged downstairs with the bag from under my bed and grabbed a coolbox from the cupboard, starting to pack it with fresh fruit, yogurt, and some flapjacks I’d made last night. I grabbed my coat off the rack and rolled up the waterproof picnic blanket, then wrote a quick note and headed out.

Notes

Sorry it's kind of short, guys, but I thought it was important to have a chapter with some of Gerard's thoughts.
I noticed the rating on this story went down and if one of you guys doesn't like something about it or you think something could be better, I'd really like it if you could comment or send me a PM. I'm always open to ideas about how to improve my writing :)
So please contact me with any feedback, good or bad