C
I watched Frank as he laid on the couch with Gerard, his short fingers tangled in the younger boy’s hair. Gerard was fast asleep, but Frank kept pressing kisses to his skin and stroking his side or arm every now and then, as if mostly comforting himself. He was shaking ever so slightly, occasionally adjusting the blanket to cover Gerard properly, his fingers trembling. He was trying to busy himself to close the gaps, not wanting to let any of his memories or his painful thoughts get through.
I'd seen him do it before, and it broke my heart to see him doing it now. What had happened to Gerard nearly two weeks ago now had broken him, and he was still scrambling to put the pieces back together. It was Gerard’s celebration day the next day, and I knew neither of them would be in much of a festive mood. I leaned over, stroking Frank's cheek gently. “Hey, hon. Do you need anything?”
He shook his head slowly and I sighed. He'd definitely lost weight, as he was throwing up everything he ate and was constantly stressed about Gerard. It would never matter what I said to him; a small part of him would always blame himself for Gerard being raped, and he was overcompensating by refusing to leave his side.
“Frank, it's nearly dinner time. How about I order you guys some pizza and you can try and have some? You need to encourage Gerard.”
Frank nodded slightly. “Sure. At least pizza doesn't burn on the way back up,” he said bitterly, but quietly. I sighed and leaned down, kissing his cheek. “I love you, Frankie.”
He blinked at me and I smiled sadly. “Is Gerard staying over?”
He shook his head. “His mum is picking us up at nine, she wants me to stay with him tonight. She says he sleeps better when I'm around.”
I nodded slightly. “Alright. I'll go order pizza now, then.”

I watched Frank eat, watched the way he was encouraging Gerard. It almost made me smile, seeing him so heavily involved in his partner. He kept poking him with the pizza, and flashing Gerard little smiles. Frank kissed him every now and then, on the cheek or neck. He kept eating his own pizza, trying to lead Gerard by example. The younger boy only ended up managing one slice.
I cleaned up the kitchen quietly, jumping when I heard footsteps behind me. “Chris?”
“Yeah?”
Gerard was leaning against the counter, his eyes sad and his expression pained and anxious. “I'm worried about Frankie.”
I sighed and stepped forward, rubbing his shoulder gently. “You don't need to, Gerard. That's my job, hon. Okay? I'm keeping an eye on him..”
“But it's not enough,” Gerard protested softly. I shook my head.
“I know that, Gerard. I know. But he's going to his therapist three times a week...I'm trying my hardest..”
Gerard nodded slightly, smiling sadly. “He's not always easy to take care of. I just want him to be okay.”
I kissed his forehead, stroking his hair back from his face. “I know. You love him, it's only natural. But the best way you can help him is by focusing on getting better. Rest and go to your therapy sessions, talk to people. Work hard on getting better and you'll be working hard to help Frank. And he’ll be much better when those bruises have faded.”
Gerard sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I keep feeling like I wanna go home, but then I realize I am home..”
I squeezed his shoulder gently. “Frank used to say that a lot. Home is often a feeling rather than just a place. You'll get back there soon, I promise. And Frank will be there for you.”
I looked up as Frank slipped into the kitchen, his hair messy and his eyes dull. The dark circles under his eyes still hadn't faded, and I knew he was barely sleeping at night.
“Come on, Gerard. I'll drive you home,” Frank mumbled, glancing at me for permission. I nodded slightly and tossed him my keys from off the side.
“Be careful. No jolts.”
Frank nodded, supporting Gerard as he led him out of the kitchen slowly.
A few minutes later, I heard the front door slam and sighed, leaning back against the counter and staring at the floor.
Frank needed more and I didn't know how to give it to him.
I sighed and kicked at the tiles lightly, then pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Ricky.
“Hey, babe, you okay?” He said softly, humming quietly.
“Not really.”
“Okay. How can I help, Chrissy?”
I took a deep breath, running a hand through my hair. “Um. I don't know, baby. I don't know. Frank isn't getting any better, he can't keep any food down, and Gerard is doing okay, but he's too busying worrying about Frank to rest and recuperate. I don't know what to do..”
Ricky hesitated. “Take Frank out for a day. Separate them, stop them from getting wrapped up in one another. Get one of Gerard’s family to entertain him for the day while you have fun with Frank. Remind him that you're there for him and talk to him, whether it's about important things or not.”
I sighed, pressing the heel of my hand to my forehead. “You really think that’ll work?”
“I do, Chrissy. You should plan something for like tomorrow or the day after. Do it soon.”
“Okay...thanks, baby..”
Ricky hummed again, and I could hear him fiddling with his guitar in the background. “You're always welcome, Chris. Do you want me to come over? Are you in need of cuddles?”
My brain flicked a switch and suddenly I felt like crying, holding my hand over my eyes as I tried to hold back the tears. “Y-yeah, actually. I'd l-love that..”
Ricky's voice dropped, becoming softer and kinder. “Okay, Chrissy. I'll bring you a treat. Frank's out tonight, right?”
“Yeah but-”
“I know, I doubt you're in the mood. I'm not that thick, babe. I just want to spend the night with you. I haven't in a while and I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”

Ricky curled up with me, playing with my fingers gently and kissing my bare chest softly. “Did you like your treat?”
I used my fingers to brush powdered sugar out of his hair. “Mhm. So did you.”
He grinned and leaned up, kissing me lightly. “What do you wanna do now?”
I pulled the covers over us, wrapping an arm around Ricky's waist again. “I just want to cuddle. I'm exhausted. I feel useless.”
Ricky frowned, toying with the ends of my long hair lightly. “You're not. Frank is just going through a really bad time. He’ll come out the other side, he always does.”
I sighed and shrugged. “I don't know, Ricky. He blames himself, and Gerard blames himself as well. It's a huge fucking mess.”
Ricky scooted up the bed to be level with me, kissing me firmly. “You're an amazing parent and a great person, Chris, but you can't fix everyone or everything. They will get through this. I promise.”
“Frank looks terrible, he-”
“He will get through it. Just be there to help him understand how to. That's all you have to do.”
I sighed and stared at him for a while. He grinned and kissed me again, gently tugging at one of my lip rings with his teeth.
“Ricky, no..” I mumbled, pushing at his chest gently. “I'm tired and I just want cuddles.”
He nodded and wrapped his arms around me tightly, kissing my chest. “I love you, Chrissy.”
I hummed softly, stroking his hair slowly. “I love you too.”
I leaned over and turned the light off, then settled back quietly, pulling Ricky even closer to me.

Gerard's adoption day celebration was just as disappointing as I’d expected. He'd refused to get up and go downstairs, so everyone had crammed into his room for cake. That meant Frank, his parents, me, Mikey, and Mikey's boyfriend. Poor Gerard didn't want to play games or really even open gifts. Frank didn't give him anything publicly, but I assumed he'd gotten him some kind of present. In any case, Gerard had only opened one gift. It had been a beautiful dress, and he'd just cried and cried. No one could figure out why, but I could tell from Frank's tight jaw as he tried to comfort his boyfriend that he knew, or at least suspected. Gerard’s parents had decided to save the gifts for when he was feeling better. And so Gerard spent the day in bed with Frank, crying on and off and watching shitty movies. Frank had agreed to spend another night there after Gerard’s meltdown, and I promised to pick him up in the morning.

Frank didn't look at me as he got in the car.
“Did you have a nice night?” I asked, rubbing his shoulder. He sighed.
“I had two hours of sleep, but Gerard slept through. He still doesn't remember anything so he doesn't get nightmares about it.”
I nodded slightly, stroking his hair before starting the engine and pulling away from the curb. “Good. He's lucky with that at least.”
Frank nodded slightly, glancing at me. “What's the plan today? Why’d you pick me up?”
I smiled at him, shrugging. “You've been spending a lot of time with Gerard and I'm very very proud of you for helping him so much, but I'm worried it's at the expense of your health at the moment. So I'm giving you a day off, we’re gonna go do fun stuff together.”
Frank sighed and shook his head slowly. “Chris, Gerard needs me.”
“I've talked to his parents, don't worry,” I soothed, flashing him another quick smile. “They're taking him out for a while and they're gonna keep him nice and busy and happy. His mum has taken the day off, like I have.”
Frank rubbed his eyes. “Can I just sleep all day?”
“No, but you can sleep tonight, you're having the night off as well and I'd like it if you'd sleep with me. You need to get some good quality rest.”
He nodded, leaning his head on the inside of the car window. “Okay, Chris. What're we doing today?”
“Well, I'm gonna take you out for breakfast and talk about what tattoo you want to get this afternoon, and then we’re gonna go get you some clothes and lunch, then to the Angelo’s for the tattoo, and lastly a nice dinner out. How does that sound?”
Frank grinned, leaning back in his seat. “Fuckin’ perfect. How big of a tattoo?”
“It's whatever you want, Frank. I know you've planned most of them out, that's why we're stopping at home first,” I answered, smiling to myself as I pulled the car into the driveway. Frank leaned over and kissed my cheek before jumping out of the car. I chuckled and followed him, walking inside quietly.

Frank collapsed on the sofa with a loud sigh. I chuckled and moved his legs out of the way, sitting down next to him. “You okay?”
He grinned at me sleepily. “Yeah. Thanks for today, Chris. I had a great day, I'm just fuckin’ exhausted.”
I smiled, putting my hand on his knee lightly. “You were limping a little today.”
He nodded slightly, yawning. “I think it's carrying Gerard around. He's not too heavy, but doing it everyday is a bit much for my knee.”
“Maybe you should start wearing your brace again.”
Frank sighed and shrugged. “Sometimes that makes it worse, though.”
“True. Just do what you think is best, I guess. And take ibuprofen.”
Frank closed his eyes for almost a minute, then blinked at me. “Can we go to bed?”
I nodded slightly. “Yeah, lemme see that tattoo first..”
Frank stood up, lifting his shirt up. The two birds on his hips were a little red, but not badly swollen. “I'll re-wrap them and you should wear a tank top or something in bed,” I announced, standing up and putting a hand on his shoulder gently. “Let's go, yeah?”
Frank followed me upstairs quietly, sitting down on the edge of my bed while I grabbed some plastic wrap and a basin of warm water. I unwrapped the plastic from his middle and carefully washed off the tattoo, patting it dry with a towel. “Alright. Air dry for a while, okay?”
Frank nodded and climbed into bed, laying on top of the covers. I tipped the water away in the bathroom and got myself ready for bed, then laid down next to Frank, stroking his hair slowly. He opened his eyes sleepily and ran his fingers down my chest. “So colorful.”
I chuckled and kissed his forehead softly. “You're so tired you're drunk, hon.”
He just grinned. I checked the clock and nodded. “Fifteen minutes. Sit up, and I'll wrap you up..”
I wrapped Frank's tattoo again and helped him get his tank top on. He immediately dove under the sheets and curled up in bed, nuzzling the pillow. I rolled my eyes and flicked the light off, climbing in next to him. Before I could touch him, he snuggled up to my chest, grabbing onto me loosely. I smiled and rubbed his back slowly until his breathing evened out and I knew he'd fallen asleep.

Notes

Hi guys, I hope you liked this slightly more happy chapter and were excited about the change of POV. It seemed like it might be fun to switch things up a little. Only a few more chapters left to go.